591 lines
32 KiB
Plaintext
591 lines
32 KiB
Plaintext
From jis@panix.com Mon Sep 19 11:49:25 EDT 1994
|
|
Article: 823 of alt.etext
|
|
Path: news.cic.net!ddsw1!panix!not-for-mail
|
|
From: jis@panix.com ()
|
|
Newsgroups: alt.zines,alt.etext,alt.music.alternative,alt.music.independent,alt.comics.alternative,alt.non.sequitur,alt.slack,alt.society.generation-x
|
|
Subject: E-ZINE: SUPER STUPID SLAMBOOK #6 (SEPTEMBER 1994)
|
|
Followup-To: alt.zines
|
|
Date: 18 Sep 1994 15:52:49 -0400
|
|
Organization: PANIX Public Access Internet and Unix, NYC
|
|
Lines: 571
|
|
Message-ID: <35i5qh$80h@panix.com>
|
|
NNTP-Posting-Host: panix.com
|
|
Summary: hypnotic fuck-o bullshit
|
|
Keywords: big waste time get life now
|
|
Precedence: bulk
|
|
Xref: news.cic.net alt.zines:5751 alt.etext:823 alt.music.alternative:122742 alt.music.independent:1825 alt.comics.alternative:2620 alt.non.sequitur:4069 alt.slack:21241 alt.society.generation-x:48879
|
|
|
|
+--------------------------------------+------------------------+
|
|
| !!!! !! !! !!!!! !!!!!! !!!!! | peteR kupeR |
|
|
|!!!!!! !! !! !!!!!! !!!!!! !!!!!! | cakE |
|
|
|!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! | banD of susanS |
|
|
| !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! | guM |
|
|
| !! !! !! !!!!!! !!!!! !!!!!! | naturaL borN killerS |
|
|
| !! !! !! !!!!! !! !!!!! | waffeR/wafflE |
|
|
|!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! | beastiE boyS |
|
|
|!!!!!! !!!!!! !! !!!!!! !! !! | candY |
|
|
| !!!! !!!! !! !!!!!! !! !! | douG martscH intervieW |
|
|
| | anpaN maN |
|
|
| !!!! !!!!!! !! !! !!!!! !! !!!!! | guM |
|
|
|!!!!!! !!!!!! !! !! !!!!!! !! !!!!!! | calviN johnsoN |
|
|
|!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! | intervieW |
|
|
| !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! | guM |
|
|
| !! !! !! !! !!!!!! !! !! !! | |
|
|
| !! !! !! !! !!!!! !! !! !! | |
|
|
|!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! | |
|
|
|!!!!!! !! !!!!!! !! !! !!!!!! | |
|
|
| !!!! !! !!!! !! !! !!!!! +------------------------+
|
|
| |
|
|
| !!!! !! !!!! !! !! !!!!! !!!! !!!! !! !! +-----+
|
|
|!!!!!! !! !!!!!! !!! !!! !!!!!! !!!!!! !!!!!! !! !! | S 1 |
|
|
|!! !! !! !! !! !!!!!!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! | E 9 |
|
|
| !! !! !! !! !! ! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! | P 9 |
|
|
| !! !! !!!!!! !! ! !! !!!!! !! !! !! !! !!!! | T 4 |
|
|
| !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! | . |
|
|
|!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! | |
|
|
|!!!!!! !!!!!! !! !! !! !! !!!!!! !!!!!! !!!!!! !! !! | |
|
|
| !!!! !!!!!! !! !! !! !! !!!!! !!!! !!!! !! !! | #6 |
|
|
+---------------------------------------------------------+-----+
|
|
| [ The lives of unhappy teen-agers (sic) often center ] |
|
|
| [ around a neon-lit, noisy penny arcade or a 'jalopy' ] |
|
|
| [ which becomes a success symbol for a great many of them. ] |
|
|
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
Chocolate, cocoa, and foods flavored with these substances
|
|
from the cocoa bean are usually prepared with large amounts of
|
|
sugar that add carbohydrates to the diet while adding no
|
|
significant amounts of vitamins and minerals. Chocolate and
|
|
cocoa contain two stimulants, caffeine and theobromine, which
|
|
speed up the heartbeat and stimulate the central nervous
|
|
system. Chocolate also contains oxalic acid, an excess of
|
|
which could interfere with calcium absorption. Cocoa is lower
|
|
in fat than chocolate and therefore will keep for longer
|
|
periods of time. It is slightly higher in nutritive value
|
|
than chocolate.
|
|
|
|
Thank you for your patronage,
|
|
_ _
|
|
| | __ _ ___| | __
|
|
_ | |/ _` |/ __| |/ /
|
|
| |_| | (_| | (__| <
|
|
\___/ \__,_|\___|_|\_\
|
|
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
| [ E-MAIL ] [ STANDARD MAIL ] |
|
|
| jis@panix.com P.O. Box 242 |
|
|
| Village Station |
|
|
| New York, NY 10014 |
|
|
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
TITLE: Wild Life #2 (COMIC)
|
|
ARTIST: Peter Kuper
|
|
ADDRESS: Fantagraphics Books (7563 Lake City Way North East,
|
|
Seattle, WA 98115)
|
|
PRICE: I paid $2.75 at the store. It goes for $3.75 post-paid.
|
|
Yikes! Not another autobiographical comic you say. But never
|
|
fear. Unlike most other people doing the autobiographical thing
|
|
Peter Kuper knows what he's doing, visually and storywise. He's
|
|
proven that with the myriad of strips he's done for _DETAILS_
|
|
magazine as well as the work he has done on _World War III
|
|
Illustrated_ and his other comic, _Bleeding Heart_. And in this
|
|
second issue of his newest comic, we learn about Peter's fun
|
|
filled, drug filled, youth.
|
|
I can't decide whether my fave scene is when Peter's sisters
|
|
give their mom a joint on her birthday. Or when Peter get's
|
|
accosted at a Pink Floyd show by a psycho-jock-boy who keeps on
|
|
yelling subtle, insightful, quips like "Fuckin' Floyd!", "Where's
|
|
my fuckin' tequila?" or "What the fuck are you staring at?!" Heck,
|
|
even the section where Peter has a really nasty acid trip at a
|
|
Grateful Dead show is pretty classic. All in all, it's well worth
|
|
your comic buying dollar. So buy it, dammit.
|
|
|
|
=================================================================
|
|
TITLE: Slimjoy Stick Soft Cake: Green Tea Flavor (CANDY)
|
|
ARTIST: Bourbon
|
|
Green tea is a wonderful drink. In addition to being as potent as
|
|
Turkish coffee, it's supposedly good for you; that is "good" in the
|
|
health sense. So I guess the fine folks at Bourbon thought that
|
|
coating small, dry pound cake slices with a green tea tasting icing
|
|
would be a good thing. No way, buddy. This stuff stinks worse
|
|
than the Broadway-Lafayette subway station in mid-August. That
|
|
being said, I don't believe that I ate a whole box of these things.
|
|
I don't know what came over me. Hunger? Addiction? Yeah,
|
|
addiction. Maybe green tea _is_ as addictive as coffee? I mean,
|
|
imagine a product that was manipulated, modified and marketed to
|
|
fulfill an addiction-related need in the consumer population. I
|
|
mean, that could never happen, right?
|
|
|
|
=================================================================
|
|
TITLE: Veil (CD)
|
|
ARTIST: Band of Susans
|
|
ADDRESS: Trace Elements (172 East 4th Street, #11D, New York, NY
|
|
10009)
|
|
PRICE: Sorry. I don't really remember.
|
|
This _is_ guitar rock for electric guitars. Period. No doubt
|
|
about it. I'm pretty confident that Band of Susans aren't going to
|
|
be doing any acoustic or "unplugged" stuff any time soon. And
|
|
that's a good thing.
|
|
Specifically, the tracks _Not In This Life_ and _The Last
|
|
Temptation of Susan_ are nice, moody and rhythmic all at once.
|
|
Heck, they're even hypnotic in a weird sort of way. The bass in
|
|
_Truce_ is pretty neat also; nothing beats a good bass in my book.
|
|
_Trollbinders Theme_ is another fun little instrumental that I'll
|
|
be adding to my list of fun little instrumentals that I like to
|
|
listen to. Lyrically though, the songs are waning. But who the heck
|
|
cares. The group definitely knows how to use, choose and manipulate
|
|
tons of sounds out of their equipment. And that's really nice to
|
|
hear. Since, nowadays, too bands declare ineptness and lameness as
|
|
a desirable virtue.
|
|
|
|
=================================================================
|
|
TITLE: Fortune Bubble (CANDY)
|
|
ARTIST: R.L. Albert & Son Inc.
|
|
Wow! I almost fainted when I saw this stuff hit the review desk.
|
|
The last time I saw a stick of Fortune Bubble was back when I used
|
|
to cut out of class in fifth or sixth grade. A whole bunch of us
|
|
would manage to sneak past the security guards and crossing guards
|
|
to goof off around the candy stores. But screw all this
|
|
reminiscing stuff. Back to the candy.
|
|
First, this stuff is cheap as hell. You can find them being
|
|
sold for two or three for five cents in most stores. Definitely
|
|
cheaper than that stuff they pass off as Bazooka Joe nowadays. And
|
|
the taste. Man, the stuff tastes exactly like orange flavored
|
|
fortune cookies (which is a good thing). Each stick also comes
|
|
with a little fortune wrapped around it. So it's just like a
|
|
fortune cookie. But it isn't, because it's a piece of gum. Got
|
|
it?
|
|
|
|
=================================================================
|
|
TITLE: Natural Born Killers (MOVIE)
|
|
ARTIST: Oliver Stone
|
|
This flick is one of those unique pieces of crap that flocks of
|
|
card carrying sheep in the "alternative" army will gush over.
|
|
Gushing over half-baked entertainment like this is the perfect
|
|
fashion accessory to accompany a fresh new tatoo or piercing, you
|
|
know. But back to the point. Stone can't direct his ass to a
|
|
toilet.
|
|
Is anyone supposed to believe that this film is a commentary
|
|
on the public's fascination with blood guts and violence? Please.
|
|
Stone goes for the sensory overload thing with tons of cross-cuts,
|
|
obscure angles, in addition to an incredibly loud and over-mixed
|
|
soundtrack. And yeah, in a strange way, it does work... for about
|
|
five seconds. That's why direction like this is very useful in
|
|
short music videos, but not in long movies. In this case, Stone's
|
|
"over-the-top" direction comes off as a garish, desperate and
|
|
annoying attempt to mimic hipness. Or maybe even distract the
|
|
viewers attention from the plot of the flick. I almost forgot
|
|
about that. The plot.
|
|
Beneath all the stylized bullshit is the same guns-on-the-run
|
|
story that has been done a million times better in flicks like
|
|
_Wild At Heart_, _Bonnie and Clyde_ and _Badlands_. Heck, even
|
|
Drew Barrymore's after school special, _Gun Crazy_, was more
|
|
interesting than this film. But what did I expect. Stone is a one
|
|
dimensional twit of a director. Stone stinks on ice.
|
|
|
|
=================================================================
|
|
TITLE: theCALCIUM (CANDY)
|
|
ARTIST: Otsuka Pharmaceuticals
|
|
Yum! Yum! Gimme some of that cal-see-um! A snack treat that's not
|
|
only good tasting, but good for you. While it may seem odd that it
|
|
focuses on only one mineral, what else would you expect from a
|
|
snack manufactured by a company that has the word "pharmaceutical"
|
|
in it's name. But whatever. It actually doesn't taste all that
|
|
bad since it's your standard waffer/waffle like snack thing. But
|
|
as far as it being a nutritional supplement, I dunno. Here's what
|
|
the broken english on the package says:
|
|
|
|
"theCALCIUM, the delicious cream sandwich to build and keep a
|
|
healthy body--from children to aged people.
|
|
Do not forget to exercise and eat theCALCIUM--every day."
|
|
|
|
Yeah. Right. Can't wait to try _thePOTASSIUM_, _theZINC_ and that
|
|
fave flavor all the kids are climbing over each other to get,
|
|
_theTHIAMINE_.
|
|
|
|
=================================================================
|
|
TITLE: Ill Communication (CD)
|
|
ARTIST: Beastie Boys
|
|
ADDRESS: Grand Royal & Capitol Records are to blame.
|
|
PRICE: I forgot. Virtually every "used" CD store I know has a
|
|
whole mess of spanking new shrink-wrapped copies for sale. People
|
|
really take care of "used" CDs nowadays.
|
|
Am I supposed to like this thing? Why did I fall asleep both times
|
|
I listened to this? Why did half of the songs sound like they were
|
|
trying to mimic _Check Your Head_? Why is _Check Your Head_ much
|
|
better than this album? Why is _Paul's Boutique_ better than this
|
|
album? Why are these guys still trying to pathetically cop a punk
|
|
sound in tracks like _Tough Guy_ and _Heart Attack Man_? Don't they
|
|
learn? Why the fuck does the Grand Royal non-star equivalent of
|
|
Zsa Zsa Gabor, Ricky Powell, get a song written about him called
|
|
_Ricky's Theme_? Doesn't this guy's ego get massaged enough in
|
|
_Dirt_, _Grand Royal_ and virtually every other Beasties interview?
|
|
Does anyone care anymore? Has anyone _ever_ cared? Why do the
|
|
huddled masses gush incessantly about this album? Did someone slip
|
|
them all a collective "mickey"? Enough of these snotty questions.
|
|
Basically, with the exception of _Sabotage_, this whole album
|
|
is pretty non-memorable and redundant, since the Beasties have done
|
|
tons of the same things better on other albums. Listen to _Paul's
|
|
Boutique_ a jillion times. It's much more fun than this thing.
|
|
|
|
=================================================================
|
|
TITLE: Gobble D Glu (CANDY)
|
|
ARTIST: Zeebs Enterprises, Inc.
|
|
What a concept. Who is the genius who decided to market candy to
|
|
kids in little glue containers. Yes, you heard me folks, little
|
|
glue containers. What the heck was the product development meeting
|
|
like? Was it like this:
|
|
|
|
BOSS: "Kids demand new and unique ways to enjoy flavorful sugar
|
|
filled treats."
|
|
FLUNKY: "Yes sir."
|
|
BOSS: "And we have all of these empty glue containers."
|
|
FLUNKY: "Yes sir."
|
|
BOSS: "And vats of this putrid tasting, neon colored, sugar
|
|
filled goo."
|
|
FLUNKY: "Yes sir."
|
|
BOSS: "So here's an idea."
|
|
FLUNKY: "Sir."
|
|
BOSS: "What if we take the putrid tasting, neon colored, sugar
|
|
filled goo and stick it in the empty glue containers.
|
|
Isn't that a unique method of enjoying flavorful sugar
|
|
filled treats?"
|
|
FLUNKY: "Yes indeed it is sir."
|
|
BOSS: "I am brilliant, aren't I."
|
|
FLUNKY: "Yes indeed you are sir."
|
|
BOSS: "Stop drooling Himmler."
|
|
|
|
=================================================================
|
|
TITLE: Doug Martsch (PERSON)
|
|
ARTIST: Doug Martsch
|
|
ADDRESS: UP Records (P.O. Box 21328, Seattle, WA 98111-3328)
|
|
Doug was in Treepeople. And is still in Built to Spill, who should
|
|
have a new album out on UP Records by the time you read this thing.
|
|
And he's also the push and the shove that started the Halo Benders.
|
|
Read on. This interview was done in August, 1994.
|
|
[SLAM] How did the Halo Benders start up?
|
|
[DOUG] I was in a band called Treepeople a few years ago. On
|
|
tour, we played a show with Beat Happening. And I really
|
|
like them a lot. I listen to them a lot. And then I
|
|
wanted to make some music with someone else singing. And
|
|
I really didn't talk to them much when we were there [in
|
|
the Pacific Northwest], but I sort of knew him a little
|
|
bit. When we lived in Seattle we played some shows that
|
|
he set up. I asked him if he wanted to do something and
|
|
about half a year later he got himself a little studio in
|
|
his basement [Dub Narcotic] and I went down there and
|
|
spent a week and we made the record.
|
|
[SLAM] As far as someone else singing goes, you and Calvin are
|
|
kinda sharing singing duties on the album?
|
|
[DOUG] That kinda just happened. It changed quite a bit from
|
|
what I originally envisioned us doing together.
|
|
[SLAM] So it was a project you started?
|
|
[DOUG] It was my idea to get the thing going. I got a hold of
|
|
him. This other band I'm in, Built to Spill, we just
|
|
recorded some stuff and I sent that to him.
|
|
[SLAM] And with Built to Spill. I heard some things about the
|
|
_Ultimate Alternative Wavers_ CD. Like it wasn't
|
|
supposed to be released? Did you want that to come out?
|
|
[DOUG] Yeah.
|
|
[SLAM] Well, a rumor monger was telling me that it was put out
|
|
behind Built to Spill's collective back.
|
|
[DOUG] No. Not at all.
|
|
[SLAM] Well that clears that up.
|
|
[DOUG] (laughs). That's funny.
|
|
[SLAM] Well you know how rumors spread. Well what are the Halo
|
|
Benders doing? Are they going to exist beyond the album?
|
|
[DOUG] I hope so. We actually played a few shows...
|
|
[SLAM] Well I know you did Yoyo a Go Go...
|
|
[DOUG] Built to Spill has gone up there and played a few times
|
|
up in the Pacific Northwest. And a few of the shows we
|
|
played, Calvin just gets up and sings with us with our
|
|
line-up, but we do Halo Benders songs. We did a little
|
|
tour with the people who played on the record--Ralph and
|
|
Wayne. We did like ten days. Went to Oregon,
|
|
California, Las Vegas and Boise.
|
|
[SLAM] So it was a quick little tour.
|
|
[DOUG] It was just a quick little thing. We decided to do it
|
|
about a couple of weeks before we went out so it was
|
|
really quickly set up and it was pretty spontaneous.
|
|
[SLAM] Have you ever toured before?
|
|
[DOUG] Treepeople went across the country right before I quit
|
|
the band a couple of years ago and Built to Spill has
|
|
gone up to the Pacific Northwest about four or five
|
|
times. Just short little trips. Maybe the longest one
|
|
was less than a week.
|
|
[SLAM] Did you play on any of the Dub Narcotic singles?
|
|
[DOUG] Different people played on those. I know that on the
|
|
_Fuck Shit Up_, Heather [from the now no longer a group,
|
|
Tiger Trap), played drums on it. She plays drums for
|
|
Lois. Lois was just here last week. We played with her.
|
|
[SLAM] How was that? Have you ever played with her before?
|
|
[DOUG] We played at Yoyo a Go Go. This was the second time.
|
|
[SLAM] Are there going to be any other Halo Benders releases?
|
|
What's the response been?
|
|
[DOUG] Good that I know of. I don't really know how good it's
|
|
doing nationwide. But I did talk to a friend of mine in
|
|
San Francisco who said that they play it a lot on the
|
|
radio down there.
|
|
[SLAM] What tracks?
|
|
[DOUG] _Don't Touch My Bikini_.
|
|
[SLAM] Who came up with that one?
|
|
[DOUG] I made up the music and Calvin made up the words. That's
|
|
how all of that stuff was put together. About half of
|
|
the songs, a little over half of them maybe, were songs
|
|
that I had just music for. And then we both milled over
|
|
it for a week or so and came up with different words and
|
|
melodies and stuff. But that song, he totally came up
|
|
with the words and the melody. Then _On a Tip_ was
|
|
something that I came up with the melodies for. Same
|
|
with _Canned Oxygen_. It's pretty obvious when you
|
|
listen to the songs who came up with what.
|
|
[SLAM] What about new Built to Spill stuff?
|
|
[DOUG] We have a full-length coming out in few weeks. Out on UP
|
|
Records. We're going to be over there in New York in
|
|
October.
|
|
[SLAM] Where?
|
|
[DOUG] A couple of shows in CBGBs and one over in Maxwell's
|
|
[SLAM] Maxwell's is great. CBs is CBs.
|
|
[DOUG] Right. We played at CBGBs with Treepeople and it was
|
|
really bad.
|
|
[SLAM] Bad in what way?
|
|
[DOUG] We played during the New Music Seminar with a bunch of
|
|
Poison-like bands. We got on at about three in the
|
|
morning and played for the woman that we were staying
|
|
with and that was it.
|
|
[SLAM] What do you think of the place itself? Hasn't it gotten
|
|
to the point that they have such a reputation for
|
|
themselves that they don't even have to clean up after
|
|
themselves?
|
|
[DOUG] (laughs). Right.
|
|
[SLAM] One time when I as hanging out there, I had this leaky
|
|
pipe dripping on the back of my shirt. Too bad I didn't
|
|
realize it until it was too late.
|
|
[DOUG] (laughs). That's funny. They probably damage the pipes on
|
|
purpose to give it that whole atmosphere.
|
|
|
|
=================================================================
|
|
TITLE: Anpan Man Live at Daiei (LIVE SHOW)
|
|
ARTIST: Matt Kaufman
|
|
ADDRESS: EXILE (3-4, Tanigawa-Cho #202, Tondabayashi-shi, Osaka,
|
|
Japan 584)
|
|
PRICE: While not hanging out with Anpan Man, Matt spends most of
|
|
his time putting out his zine, EXILE. The latest issue is an 80
|
|
page monster focusing on the Japanese underground music/art scene.
|
|
Send him three bucks in well hidden cash (U.S. funds only) and
|
|
he'll send you a copy.
|
|
For those of you that are unaware, Anpan Man is the most popular
|
|
kiddie show in Japan. When I say kiddie, I mean ages of two to
|
|
six. After six, you move onto other cartoon characters like
|
|
Doraemon or Dragonball. That didn't stop me from heading down to
|
|
the Daiei department store in my neighborhood to see a rare live
|
|
show of Anpan Man and his posse.
|
|
Anpan means "bean jam bun", and Anpan Man's enemies will not
|
|
hesitate to take a bite out of his big fat head. His arch enemy is
|
|
the sinister Baikin (germ) Man, who has yet to defeat our hero.
|
|
Anpan Man is joined by two of his "girlfriends," the striking
|
|
Butter and the lovely Melon Pan. He has loads of other friends,
|
|
but due to scheduling conflicts they were unable to attend the
|
|
performance I saw.
|
|
The parking lot was filled with young children, some of them
|
|
barely old enough to walk. Some of these children were about to
|
|
see Anpan Man live for the first time in their lives. You could
|
|
feel anticipation. It reminded me of the first time that I went to
|
|
see Iggy Pop. Butter and the evil Baikin Man (Boo! Hiss!) came out
|
|
on stage first. Some of the children started crying at the sight
|
|
of the hideous villain. Butter and Baikin Man exchanged a few
|
|
words on stage and it seemed as though Butter was in some sort of
|
|
trouble. Baikin Man was joined by another evil villain, Skeleton
|
|
Man (Actually, I don't know his exact name, and I'm not about to
|
|
start hanging out in the kiddie section of the bookstore to do
|
|
research on Anpan Man).
|
|
Another good guy, Hamburger Man came onstage. Hamburger Man
|
|
was dressed in a Cowboy uniform and had a big lasso. The crowd
|
|
gave him polite applause, but you could tell they were disappointed
|
|
that their hero had not yet appeared.
|
|
Butter made the shocking announcement that Anpan Man would not
|
|
be joining the show today. There was a gasp from the crowd. I
|
|
guess he was at another department store and couldn't make it. I
|
|
started to walk home, dejected and disappointed that I didn't get
|
|
to see Anpan Man. It reminded me of the time when I went to see
|
|
Pavement, Superchunk and My Bloody Valentine at the New Music
|
|
Seminar a couple of years ago. I got there a half hour late and
|
|
missed Pavement. I almost cried.
|
|
All of the sudden Anpan Man appeared from behind a curtain.
|
|
I was overjoyed. He was able to make it after all. The crowd
|
|
roared with excitement. I don't know how he did it, but Anpan Man
|
|
talked his way out of the situation and it was resolved
|
|
harmoniously. Man, what a rip-off! I wanted to see some fighting
|
|
like them Ninja Turtles do in the movies. I wanted to see Anpan
|
|
Man kick the shit out of Baikin Man. No dice. He didn't even give
|
|
him an atomic knee drop or nothing. Anpan Man has gone soft on
|
|
crime.
|
|
The poster for the show clearly stated that Anpan Man would be
|
|
signing autographs after the show. At 400 Yen a pop! Who does he
|
|
think he is, Mickey Mantle? What's more, he had the audacity to
|
|
hand out pre-signed photos of himself that some flunky probably
|
|
signed while taking a dump. What a lazy bastard. Then one of
|
|
Anpan Man's lackeys announced that Anpan Man would be posing for
|
|
photos with his fans. Okay, cool. I can dig it. But then came
|
|
the catch: He would be taking photos with five kids at a time. You
|
|
couldn't just take a picture with Anpan Man alone, you had to take
|
|
one with four other kids. Who was the brain surgeon who came up
|
|
with that idea? What if you didn't like one of the kids in the
|
|
picture? What if he was the same kid who beat you up in
|
|
kindergarten every day? Now you can't look at your photo with
|
|
Anpan Man without seeing his ugly mug. Adults never think of these
|
|
things.
|
|
Anpan Man's roadie, this dude with long hair and ripped Levis,
|
|
loaded the tots onstage like cattle and some of them started
|
|
crying. I felt bad for those poor kids. Anpan Man tried to
|
|
console them, but they started wailing louder. Anpan Man posed for
|
|
photos with everyone and only terrified five or six more kids, and
|
|
that isn't bad when you think about it. They were really young
|
|
anyway. But still, the whole thing was a big advertisement for
|
|
Daiei when you come down to it. The big corporations have a
|
|
monopoly on fun if you ask me.
|
|
FLASH! A huge Lollapalooza type show has been announced! Anpan
|
|
Man, Crayon Shinchan, Sazae San and Ultraman! Forget Woodstock '94,
|
|
this is the hottest ticket in the world.
|
|
|
|
=================================================================
|
|
TITLE: Tropical Fruit Bubble Jug (CANDY)
|
|
ARTIST: Amurol Products Company
|
|
Welp, I guess it's just not fun enough nowadays to just chew a
|
|
stick of gum. Damn kids nowadays. Making things complicated for
|
|
us older folks. I swear, I'm going to write to my congressman or
|
|
something. I pay taxes dammit... Ooops, sorry... Rambling... On
|
|
with the review. Overanalysis and hyperbole is GO!
|
|
Historically, this thing seems to be the is the natural
|
|
descendent of gums like _Big League Chew_ and _Razzles_. Like _Big
|
|
League Chew_, sugar hogs and people with sublimated oral fixation
|
|
problems can down as much--or as little--of the candy as you want.
|
|
Like _Razzles_, it has that weird candy to gum transformation thing
|
|
going, since one initially consumes this junk as a powder.
|
|
Flavorwise, it's really neat. Very fruity, and just sugary enough
|
|
to give you a buzz and not put you in a coma. All in all, a damn
|
|
fine candy. And it comes in a neat little resealable jug. What
|
|
more would one want?
|
|
|
|
=================================================================
|
|
TITLE: Calvin Johnson (PERSON)
|
|
ARTIST: Calvin Johnson
|
|
ADDRESS: K (Box 7154, Olympia, WA 98507)
|
|
Don't blink or you'll miss this interview. Blame me for the
|
|
brevity. My sense of timing was totally whacked during this
|
|
conversation thanks to the wondrous effects of some cold medicine
|
|
I popped earlier in the day. This will teach me to take drugs
|
|
before doing an interview of any kind; especially with someone I
|
|
admire. I suck. This interview was done in August, 1994.
|
|
[SLAM] How do you like doing the Halo Benders stuff?
|
|
[C.J.] Oh, it's great. I'm having a good time.
|
|
[SLAM] As far as side-projects go, I got a copy of a Japanese
|
|
zine (BEIKOKU ONGAKU [TRANS: American Music]: The
|
|
Magazine of Superdeformed World) that had a track you did
|
|
with the Boyfoons. What was that?
|
|
[C.J.] Oh, that's a song that Dan, he plays guitar on that,
|
|
recorded. He was doing a compilation and he wanted to
|
|
record a song so we got together and recorded the song
|
|
for his compilation. But his compilation never came out
|
|
and it's been about a year and those people wanted a song
|
|
so we gave it to them.
|
|
[SLAM] So it was a one shot deal.
|
|
[C.J.] Yeah, we just recorded it in one day and there it is.
|
|
[SLAM] Was that at Dub Narcotic?
|
|
[C.J.] No. That was before I had the studio up and going.
|
|
[SLAM] When did the studio start up?
|
|
[C.J.] Last August or July. About a year or so ago.
|
|
[SLAM] And it's been working out okay?
|
|
[C.J.] Yeah. It's in the basement. Got the 8-track and a bunch
|
|
of old machines. Kinda get them fired up and let 'er rip.
|
|
[SLAM] Another thing. I've read about you going to Japan and
|
|
doing something on the Japanese music scene while you
|
|
were at Evergreen.
|
|
[C.J.] Yeah. It was about 10 years ago. 1984. Actually Beat
|
|
Happening went to Japan and I just did some research into
|
|
what was going on there underground music wise. I did an
|
|
article about it.
|
|
[SLAM] How did you like it there?
|
|
[C.J.] Had a great time. Like to go back someday.
|
|
|
|
=================================================================
|
|
TITLE: Sting: With Caffeine Crystals (CANDY)
|
|
ARTIST: I don't know...
|
|
You know, I thought those candy researchers in Japan hit the
|
|
ultimate low in taste when they made _Kiss Mint: Wake Up_ (see
|
|
Slambook #5). I was dreadfully, dreadfully, wrong. This has to be
|
|
the worst tasting piece of junk I've ever tasted.
|
|
It tastes like a slice of chewable talcum powder. Ugggh.
|
|
Chewable talcum powder with caffeine crystals. UGGGH! Yes, just
|
|
like _Kiss Mint: Wake Up_, this thing is one of those "functional"
|
|
gums that is supposed to help stimulate you and wake you up. But
|
|
just like _Kiss Mint: Wake Up_, it didn't do anything for me. So
|
|
for those of you keeping track of what I think of various things in
|
|
the world that have the name Sting attached to them, here's the
|
|
latest tally:
|
|
|
|
STING (the gum): Sucks (tasteless crap)
|
|
STING (the movie): Okay (the music is decent)
|
|
STING (the musician): Sucks (too boring nowadays)
|
|
STING (the bee): N/A (I've never been stung by a bee)
|
|
STING (the wrestler): Sucks (no explanation needed)
|
|
|
|
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
| This was SUPER STUPID SLAMBOOK #6 (SEPTEMBER 1994) |
|
|
| All contents (c) 1994 Jack Szwergold, all rights reserved. |
|
|
| And after saying all that, I realize that this is an elec- |
|
|
| tronic zine, which by the nature of it's medium, allows it to |
|
|
| be duplicated with little or no effort. So this is to let |
|
|
| you know that distribution is free. You can copy and send it |
|
|
| to as many people and places as you want. But the content is |
|
|
| mine, and plagiarism is just not a nice thing. Which is the |
|
|
| only reason why I stuck a copyright statement on this thing. |
|
|
| So be nice, and don't claim authorship to things you didn't |
|
|
| write. Okay? |
|
|
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
| [ OH WHERE, OH WHERE CAN IT BE? ] |
|
|
| |
|
|
| USENET: Each issue of the Slambook is posted to _alt.zines_, |
|
|
| _alt.etext_, _alt.comics.alternative_ and _alt.music. |
|
|
| alternative_ as well as various other sundry news- |
|
|
| groups on the ever expanding gimmish of babble that |
|
|
| is known as the USENET. |
|
|
| GOPHER: gopher.well.sf.ca.us (Thanks to Jerod at Factsheet 5) |
|
|
| E-MAIL: For all you idle types who don't like using the |
|
|
| USENET or playing around with gophers, you can get an |
|
|
| e-mail subscription to the Slambook. Drop me a |
|
|
| communique telling me you'd like to subscribe and |
|
|
| you'll be added to the Slambook's ultra-ineffective |
|
|
| electronic-mail distribution list. Just say please, |
|
|
| and the deed will be done. (NOTE: I'm not a LISTSERV, |
|
|
| and I don't play one on TV. So please don't send me |
|
|
| any stupid LISTSERV-like messages, okay? Also, if |
|
|
| you have more than one e-mail account, _please_ |
|
|
| clearly state which account should receive the |
|
|
| Slambook.) |
|
|
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
| [ IF YOU CHOOSE TO SUBMIT TO ME... ] |
|
|
| |
|
|
| Be sure to remember, folks, that any and all materials sent |
|
|
| to the Super Stupid Slambook offices will not be returned un- |
|
|
| less it is accompanied by a self-addressed stamped envelope. |
|
|
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
| [ ITSY BITSY MINI-COMICS ] |
|
|
| |
|
|
| If you haven't experienced the pure joy contained within the |
|
|
| pages of my mini-comics, send me some e-mail and I'll send |
|
|
| you all the pertinent info required to acquire such mini- |
|
|
| comics. The information will be transferred from me to you |
|
|
| via the Slambook's high-tech Mini-Comic Information Dispenser |
|
|
| 3001 (TM). Highly effective, very secretive and extremely |
|
|
| expensive the Mini-Comic Information Dispenser 3001 (TM) is |
|
|
| guarded around the clock by Tina, King of Monster Island. |
|
|
| There is very good reason why Tina is the King of Monster |
|
|
| Island. So just don't get on Tina's bad side, okay? |
|
|
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
| [ E-MAIL ] [ STANDARD MAIL ] |
|
|
| jis@panix.com P.O. Box 242 |
|
|
| Village Station |
|
|
| New York, NY 10014 |
|
|
+---------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|