1833 lines
90 KiB
Plaintext
1833 lines
90 KiB
Plaintext
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Living in such a state taTestaTesTaTe etats a hcus ni gniviL
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of mind in which time sTATEsTAtEsTaTeStA emit hcihw ni dnim of
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does not pass, space STateSTaTeSTaTeStAtE ecaps ,ssap ton seod
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does not exist, and sTATeSt oFOfOfo dna ,tsixe ton seod
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idea is not there. STatEst ofoFOFo .ereht ton si aedi
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Stuck in a place staTEsT OfOFofo ecalp a ni kcutS
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where movements TATeSTa foFofoF stnemevom erehw
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are impossible fOFoFOf elbissopmi era
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in all forms, UsOFofO ,smrof lla ni
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physical and nbEifof dna lacisyhp
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or mental - uNBeInO - latnem ro
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your mind is UNbeinG si dnim rouy
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focusing on a unBEING a no gnisucof
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lone thing, or NBeINgu ro ,gniht enol
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a lone nothing. bEinGUn .gnihton enol a
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You are numb and EiNguNB dna bmun era ouY
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unaware to events stneve ot erawanu
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taking place - not -iSSuE- ton - ecalp gnikat
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knowing how or what 7/25/94 tahw ro woh gniwonk
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to think. You are in -SEVEN- ni era uoY .kniht ot
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a state of unbeing.... ....gniebnu fo etats a
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--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
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CONTENTS OF THiS iSSUE
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=----------------------=
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EDiTORiAL Kilgore Trout
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STAFF LiSTiNG
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[=- ARTiCLES -=]
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THE BEGGAR CRACKDOWN Captain Moonlight
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SMILE! I Wish My Name Were Nathan
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NANOTECHNOLOGY AND ANARCHY Hagbard
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THiNKEST THOU Mr. Asttct Fasuath
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ULTiMATUM Linda Thompson
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MEDiTATiONS: LiVE FROM NEW YORK Crux Ansata
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[=- POETRiE -=]
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FEVER DREAM Harlequin
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POP-SOCiAL-PSYCHOLOGY I Wish My Name Were Nathan
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LOVE Harlequin
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UNTiTLED #1 Griphon
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A DYSLEXiC Harlequin
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UNTiTLED #2 Griphon
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TiMES LiKE THESE Harlequin
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MURDER OF AN IMAGE I Wish My Name Were Nathan
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FOR J--- Harlequin
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[=- FiCTiON -=]
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SELF-PiTY Griphon
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THE DiLEMMA OF LORNE: STUD-BOY OR DiSiLLUSiONED GEEK? (Part II) Kilgore Trout
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REQUiEM FOR DEAD SOULS Harlequin
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--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
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EDiTORiAL
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by Kilgore Trout
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So, we're two days late. Blow me. I think the wait will be worth it. I
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am really pleased with this issue. Maybe it's cause I actually finished one
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of those stories like I promised. The next one will be coming out in the next
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issue. Trust me. Heh.
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We have some very interesting articles in this issue. Crux Ansata is up
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in New York and writes about some of his observations while Captain Moonlight
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writes about the pigs and their blatant hatred of the homeless. Clockwork
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found an interesting piece about a supposed revolution right here in the USA.
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As always we've got lots of poetrie and some excellent fiction and my crappy
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story. Well, hell, I've been told it's nifty, so read em all and enjoy.
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To make excuses for being two days late, I've written a top ten list,
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just like our friend Dave Letterman likes to do. So...
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FROM THE HOME OFFiCE iN GEORGETOWN, TEXAS...
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THE TOP TEN REASONS KiLGORE TROUT PUT OFF SoB #7.
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10. He's a lazy ass.
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9. Space Hulk marathon.
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8. His sister's dog kept pissing on his manuscripts.
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7. A big, juicy, high-cholesterol Mexican dinner.
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6. Thinking up stupid gimmicks like this.
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5. Looking at submissions, going "That's great!" and doing nothing.
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4. Talking to an SoB writer at Dairy Queen.
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3. Playing Super Mario brother tourneys at Doorway's.
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2. Whores! Whores! Whores!
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1. The O.J. Simpson televised trial.
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And now, without much ado, State of unbeing #7...
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--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
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STAFF LiSTiNG
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EDITOR
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Kilgore Trout
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CONTRIBUTORS
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Captain Moonlight
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Crux Ansata
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Mr. Asttct Fasuath
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Griphon
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Hagbard
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Harlequin
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I Wish My Name Were Nathan
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Linda Thompson
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--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
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[=- ARTiCLES -=]
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--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
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THE BEGGAR CRACKDOWN
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by Captain Moonlight
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"Houseless, adj. Having paid all taxes on household goods."
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--Ambrose Bierce, _The Devil's Dictionary_
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"We're changing all the time. Sometimes we look like UT students, other times
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like transients. Sometimes it's a female by herself or someone dressed in a
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business suit. We've been in all sorts of things to try and fit in with the
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crowd and let people approach us and beg. Anybody they walk up to might be a
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police officer."
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--No, not the alien in some bad horror flick, Austin Police Department
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Lt. Greg Lasley on their anti-panhandling campaign
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ETHNIC CLEANSING THERE . . .
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ECONOMIC CLEANSING HERE --
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RESIST NAZI SOLUTIONS!
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--NYC Protest poster after the 9th St. Police Raid
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Let me introduce you the Catch-22 of homelessness. You may as well learn
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it now: most of us are within a few paychecks of being there ourselves. Once
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you've had the bad luck of falling into homelessness, you're not too likely to
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be able to get out, unless you have a very generous friend. First of all, you
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cannot get government help, such as Social Security or Welfare. Why? No
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permanent address. Also, you cannot get a job. Why? No permanent address.
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And you cannot get a permanent address without a job or government help. If
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you can get a job, it will most likely be menial labour, lasting only about a
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week or two, where you will be worked to exhaustion for so little wages that
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you cannot possibly get out of debt. Also, once you're homeless you can't
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vote for someone who can help you. Why? No permanent address. And, pretty
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much the politicians aren't going to give a damn for your concerns if you
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can't vote for them. So, basically, if you're homeless, you're screwed.
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In America today all those who are homeless, either because of necessity
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or choice, are being persecuted. One thing that most people think is one of
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the greatest liberties in America is the ability to travel without being
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stopped and searched. Actually, this is not a right in the United States
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today. In the United States today, under vagrancy laws, anyone, man, woman,
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or child, can be legally arrested, fingerprinted, and detained, for the crime
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of not carrying identification papers. With this law, both the homeless and
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any other private citizen may be arrested and imprisoned. The American gov-
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ernment today is using laws like this to crack down on panhandlers, as well as
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the homeless in general.
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The beggar crackdown is not a new evil, but now it is steadily gaining
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force. New York City especially is cracking down on the homeless and beggars.
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New York City Council member Andrew Eristoff, representative for the upper
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East Side (elected by those who already have a comfy house and food, thank
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you), is currently co-sponsoring a bill which would give up to a $25 fine
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and/or a ten day jail sentence for panhandling within fifteen feet of an
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Automatic Teller Machine. He claims, "The public has the right to enjoy
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convenient and unimpeded access to ATM machines." Apparently, however, he
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doesn't care for the homeless of the upper East Side, and they are apparently
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not part of the 'public' [1]. Now the New York Metropolitan Transportation
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Authority is attempting to intimidate subway riders into not giving to beg-
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gars. New York Meat Train Authority authorities have placed anti-begging
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posters in every NYC subway car which state:
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Come on, not me, NOT ME. Oh pleeeeeze don't come stand in
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FRONT of me ASKING for money.
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What do I do, WHAT DO I DO???? I know. I'll pretend I'm
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reading my book. Look. I feel bad. I really do. But HEY, it's MY
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MONEY. And HOW do I know what you'll spend it on anyway? I don't.
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Supposedly this is how you feel when you're asked for money by, or even see, a
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panhandler. I don't know about you, but I'm more afraid of and intimidated by
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cops than panhandlers, because the cops actually do things to people. If I'm
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asked for change by a panhandler I merely say "No" if I don't have any, or
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don't want to give any, or I give them what I can. I personally don't see how
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people can see that as more painful than a homeless man going without supper,
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or a child dying in a gutter. This poster obviously would be much better for
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their campaign if they hadn't capitalized "ASKING," considering the fact that
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that's all that panhandlers do, ASK for money [2]. In fact the NYCPD has
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admitted that its target is the 'polite panhandler' -- that is, the panhandler
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who asks for money peacefully instead of demanding it and threatening bodily
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harm [3].
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It is indeed odd how the New York Police and Metropolitan Transit Author-
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ity can get away with this mistreatment when the New York Second Circuit Court
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of Appeals upheld a lower court's decision supporting the right to panhandle.
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The court wrote, "We see little difference between those who solicit for
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organized charities and those who solicit for themselves in regard to the
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message conveyed. Both solicit the charity of others. The distinction is not
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a significant one for First Amendment purposes." The court, therefore holds
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that peaceful begging is protected by the First Amendment right to free speech
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and free expression. The class-action which brought this decision about was
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brought to court in 1990 by two homeless plaintiffs who had been harassed by
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police, though not arrested. The police brought to court claimed that the
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city's ordinances against panhandling were necessary to avoid harassment and
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intimidation by beggars, but the court said, "A verbal request carries no
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harms of the type enumerated by the City Police if done in a peaceful manner"
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[4]. Apparently the NYCPD does not wish to follow the court's decision, as it
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has just targeted the homeless even more. According to Rush Limbaugh, in his
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TV show of July 8, 1994, the new mayor of New York City has given the police
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permission to break up panhandling and homeless settlements without having
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permission of the courts. While Limbaugh hailed this as a great victory for
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'freedom', I must disagree, for now the police can break up any settlement
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they very well please without warrant or court order. I do not see how these
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homeless were a menace, as Limbaugh seems to think: maybe he's afraid they
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might (horror of horrors) ask him for a quarter.
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However, New York City is not the only place suppressing their homeless.
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In Austin, on the Drag alone, sixty panhandling arrests were made in two weeks
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in May. This is during an ongoing operation run by at least ten undercover
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cops whose sole job is to go out and catch people when they try to panhandle.
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About four people are sent out per day. Fines for panhandling can be up to
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$200: money which most homeless people I know can't part with, but the govern-
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ment greed machine wants it. Police Lt. Greg Lasley showed exactly how much
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he cares for humanity when he said, "These guys are just hitting on anybody
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out there. It's really obnoxious." I'd really love to have that guy "serving
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and protecting" me. He said, "The officers decided to go ahead, and we can be
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our own witnesses." Pay special attention to that "we can be our own witness-
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es" part. Virtually what he's saying is that cops can arrest you, say you did
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something, and what they say goes. Ever wonder why car cops always patrol in
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pairs? It's for that very reason: "we can be our own witnesses" [5].
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Intimidating panhandlers and beggars are not the police's only tool
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against the homeless: police also delight in tearing up homeless cities. In
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October 1992, police raided a homeless city called by its residents Dinkins-
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ville (after the then-mayor of NYC) in a vacant lot in New York City. Later,
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in February 1993, police raided a homeless city in a Ninth Street lot, bull-
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dozing the city and forcing off residents. Michael Kharfen, head of the so-
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called "Community Assistance Unit", told the press that residents were given a
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day's notice, and that "outreach personnel" had visited the lot over the past
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"several months" to prepare residents for removal. In fact, the police raided
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the area, giving residents "12 minutes" to gather their belongings and leave.
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Those unable to comply, and there were many since most residents had been
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living here several months, were bodily removed, and then the police stood by
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while the site was bulldozed. An old man was arrested during the raid, and a
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resident known for his many dogs was committed to Belleview, and his dogs were
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shot with tranquilizer guns and taken away, because on of the dogs was scared
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by police and bit a cop. Michael Kharfen told media that the lot was being
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evicted to build 56 units of low-income housing and a new police station. In
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truth _Shadow_ got a copy of the plans, which call for a new police station
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and a HUGE parking-lot. However, on the night of February 20, 1993, four days
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after the eviction, more than fifty demonstrators gathered in the lot and had
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a bonfire and metal jam. (For those of you who don't know what a metal jam
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is, it is this: a large group of people gather at night, preferably in a rich
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residential area. They then slam corrugated iron, sheet metal, whatever's
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handy, and keep as many people awake as possible. It's great for curfew
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protestations, hint, hint.) At first two police tried to force the protesters
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out, but they were highly unsuccessful. The fire department put the fire out,
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but it was quickly rekindled, using police line barriers. The fire was put
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out again, and replaced with several smaller ones. When it was over, nine
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people were arrested. The bulldozer used during the eviction mysteriously
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exploded four days after the demonstration, and had to be hauled off in a
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flatbed truck. As of May 1993, the only work actually done on the lot was the
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erection of a fence [6].
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Texas cities are not above using such techniques, either. For instance,
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in Dallas, in an underpass beneath Interstate 45, about fifty people were
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rudely forced out by the Dallas Police Department. This raid resulted in one
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arrest, that of a man who refused to identify himself to lawless enforcers.
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'Sanitation' workers bulldozed the area later in the day [7]. Austin, too,
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has had its incidents. Unfortunately, I do not have any references to support
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myself, but I can give a few right off the top of my head which should be
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familiar to any residents who have been here for any period of time. For
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instance, there was the homeless barge on Town Lake which cops and the City
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Council got removed. People don't want to see them on land, and they get them
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blocked when they try to go on the water. Also, I seem to remember Austin
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recently tearing down a shantytown on Sixth Street, though I may be wrong
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about where it was. It seems even when a homeless person tries to make them-
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selves a home it is torn down.
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How long will the beggar crackdown go on? Austin Police Lt. Greg Lasley
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says of its Drag panhandler busts, "For the time being, as long as we've got
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the manpower and we're not overrun with calls, we'll keep doing it" [5]. And
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Dallas city spokesperson Mark Flake said of its cardboard city raids, "If we
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are alerted to other problems, we'll do the same thing" [7]. Rest assured --
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you may be mugged, murdered, or raped, but as long as these guys are on the
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job, no one will ask you for a quarter. Now I tell you this: persecutions
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will not stop with one group of people. Under laws passed during the Bush
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regime, anyone who is even _suspected_ of being a drug dealer can be sent to
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work camps in Nevada and the Southwest, where they can be forced into hard
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labour for up to a year _without trial_. And guess who _suspected_ drug
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dealers are. Just about _anyone_ the government disapproves of. And remember
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Lt. Lasley's comment: "we can be our own witnesses." Unless we stop the
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persecutions now, we can all be victims of the police state. Think about it.
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ENDNOTES:
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[1] "Panhandling Near ATMs is a Hot Issue," 6/28/94.
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[2] Beth J. Harpaz, "Anti-Begging Ads Give Subway Riders Guilt Trip," 5/12/94.
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[3] Rick Hampson, "N.Y. Crackdown Closing in on the Polite Panhandler,"
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5/12/94.
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[4] "Court: Begging is Protected Speech," 7/30/93.
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[5] Sharon Jayson, "60 Panhandling Arrests Result of Undercover Operation,"
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5/25/94.
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[6] Chris Flash, "Pigs Raid Homeless in 9th St. Lot," 12/92-5/93.
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[7] Pauline Arrillaga, "Dallas Evicts Residents of Highway Underpass Shanty-
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town," 6/15/94.
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The following articles were used writing this essay:
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Arrillaga, Pauline. "Dallas Evicts Residents of Highway Underpass
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Shantytown." _Austin American-Statesman_, June 15, 1994, p. B2.
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"Court: Begging is Protected Speech." Prodigy interactive personal service,
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July 30, 1993.
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Flash, Chris. "Pigs Raid Homeless in 9th St. Lot." _Shadow_, #28, December
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1992/May 1993: p. 4.
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Hampson, Rick. "N.Y. Crackdown Closing in on the Polite Panhandler." _Austin
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American-Statesman_, May 12, 1994: p. A21.
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Harpaz, Beth. "Anti-Begging Ads Give Subway Riders Guilt Trip." _Austin
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American-Statesman_, May 12, 1994: p. A21.
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Jayson, Sharon. "60 Panhandling Arrests Result of Undercover Operation."
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_Austin American-Statesman_, May 25, 1994: p. B4.
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"Panhandling Near ATMs is a Hot Issue." New York _Daily News_, June 28, 1994:
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p. 24.
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Thanx to Crux Ansata for the majority of the New York information.
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Note: Captain Moonlight has each of these in electronic form, as well as a few
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other articles relating to panhandling and homelessness, and will be
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more than happy to give copies to interested parties. In fact, he would
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be ecstatic, because that means that someone actually read this far in
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his article. Post him on Isis Unveiled, the home of SoB, (user #3) to
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make arrangements.
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--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
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Military men are the scourges of the world.
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--Guy de Maupassant
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--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
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SMILE!
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by I Wish My Name Were Nathan
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S*M*I*L*E! And fuck you! Personally, whenever someone tells me to
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smile (usually some preppie bitch) I usually want to do so and also quickly
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knock out some teeth.
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What is the purpose of smiling, anyway? Who is ever happy, anyway?
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Anyone who has any intelligence and knowledge about this world ought to
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realize that smiling is like waiting an extra five minutes for that cute guy
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for like to call you, even though you know he doesn't even know you. It's an
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act of faith, people.
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I do smile sometimes; it's a hell of a lot more effective when used in
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specific contexts than all the time which tends to make stretch marks on my
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face. Here are some friendly tips I pass on to you on when to smile.
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Smile whenever you're on your bicycle and you come up to a stop sign next
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to a car with a mother driving and her little kid in the passenger side seat.
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Also stare and wink while pointing at your mouth or crotch.
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Smile whenever someone falls down on the sidewalk near you. Stand there
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smiling. Don't laugh, though -- this may make you seem cruel.
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Smile at angry people who pass by you to make them think you know
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something they don't. It may make them angrier, but you'll laugh.
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Smile from the second you enter class to the second you get out,
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especially when there's a test. Make sure they see you. Exquisitely piss
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them off with your self-confidence.
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Smile while standing in an elevator with one other person in it. With
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your hand deep in your pocket.
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|
|
|
Smile after you've watched the lottery drawing and are staring at your
|
|
tickets. Try to make your family faint dead away. When they wake up, smile
|
|
and say, "_Two_ numbers matched this time."
|
|
|
|
Smile when someone is crying and breaking down in front of you. Stare
|
|
right at them with a blank look in your eyes. They'll stop crying.
|
|
|
|
Smile when someone is rehearsing for you -- a play, a song, a guitar solo
|
|
-- and don't say a word. Make them edgy.
|
|
|
|
And, last of all, dear friends, smile when it's a nice, sunny day, and
|
|
the clouds have parted and the air is comfortably dry, and the trees are green
|
|
with life. Direct your smile at the turtle lying upside-down in the sand at
|
|
the beach.
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder.
|
|
|
|
--Ralph W. Sockman
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
NANOTECHNOLOGY AND ANARCHY
|
|
by Hagbard
|
|
|
|
|
|
WHAT iS NANOTECHNOLOGY?
|
|
-----------------------
|
|
|
|
Nanotechnology is a concept created not long ago (around early 80's) by a
|
|
man named K. Eric Drexler. Basically, the idea is the creation of tools at the
|
|
molecular level, tools and machines that measure only nanometers across (hence
|
|
the name). These tools would be able to handle materials at the molecular or
|
|
even the atomic level. Think about that for a moment. All of human technology
|
|
is the use of tools to manipulate matter in our environment. Plastic, shoes,
|
|
computers, space shuttles, etc., all come from our ability to manipulate
|
|
matter. The ultimate in tool making, in material manipulation, IS
|
|
nanotechnology.
|
|
|
|
|
|
WHAT iS THE CURRENT STATE OF DEVELOPMENT?
|
|
-----------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Well, as you may well have noticed, we don't quite have nanites running
|
|
about yet. But scientists are working on it. Currently there are two
|
|
theoretical methods of assembler construction. An assembler is the generic
|
|
term for a nanite that is capable of reproduction or assembly of molecules.
|
|
The first method is the biological track. As always, nature is a step ahead of
|
|
man, for nanites exist already. Without them, you would not survive. The
|
|
proteins within every living organism serve as nanites within individual
|
|
cells, with DNA to provide the necessary programming. But proteins are so
|
|
specific in their particular functions that they are useless in building
|
|
diamond fiber mesh or other such complicated things. Also, proteins are too
|
|
fragile; they dry up outside the body, break down when heated or cooled, and
|
|
therefore would not be of any use for industrial applications. However,
|
|
scientists are presently trying to modify proteins to be able to build better
|
|
structures, thus in effect working their way up a ladder of more and more
|
|
complicated nanomachines until the goal of assembler is achieved.
|
|
|
|
The other method of production being worked on is direct manipulation of
|
|
atoms using macroscopic devices, such as scanning/tunneling electron
|
|
microscopes. Engineers have been able to design crude structures using these
|
|
microscopes to place atoms together one at a time. One group of scientists
|
|
built the IBM logo out of xenon atoms. Scientists hope that in the near
|
|
future, crude assemblers may be built which can build better assemblers and so
|
|
on.
|
|
|
|
|
|
WHAT DOES THiS HAVE TO DO WiTH ANARCHY?
|
|
---------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
The absence of government has been a long time dream of many people.
|
|
Often people have resorted to violent means in order to disrupt or attempt to
|
|
eliminate government. This has often resulted in the people getting executed
|
|
and the government becoming more constrictive. Many people also misunderstand
|
|
the meaning of anarchy. They believe that the absence of government means
|
|
chaos, no laws, and no authority. Good or bad, this is not the case. The
|
|
absence of government cannot be effectively achieved through elimination of
|
|
bureaucratic control, but rather by making it unnecessary. Government exists
|
|
today as a measure of organizational control and as a method of organizing
|
|
resources for it's people. But what if such control, enforcement, and services
|
|
became unnecessary? Then government would no longer be required. A state of
|
|
anarchy, or total freedom for the individual, would become a reality.
|
|
|
|
Technology has been increasing individual freedom for a long time. The
|
|
printing press liberated Europe by liberating the individual through the
|
|
spread of information. The computer has increased individual freedom tenfold,
|
|
allowing people to access a global village of data, and to express themselves,
|
|
just as my computer is enabling me to write this article and share my ideas
|
|
with others.
|
|
|
|
Nanotechnology can provide this. Imagine having access to your own
|
|
assemblers. Imagine being able to build anything you had the design plans and
|
|
the resources for. Currency would become a thing of the past. Material wealth
|
|
would become relatively meaningless. Only two things would have any wealth
|
|
inherent to them, and that is information and resources, with resources being
|
|
a distant second. Information, data on design plans for devices, computers,
|
|
and better assemblers would become the basis for economy in the new world of
|
|
nanotech. Only with such data would people be able to build their dreams. No
|
|
longer would a car be valuable, only the molecular design, fed into the
|
|
assembler computer system, would be of worth. The only limiting factor would
|
|
be resources, which can be found all over the place, most in space. Just as
|
|
desktop publishing has given everyone the ability to be an author, nanotech
|
|
will give everyone the ability to be an engineer; we could call it 'desktop
|
|
manufacturing'.
|
|
|
|
No longer would there be a need for most of the services provided by the
|
|
government. Nanites could take care of all your needs. Protection? Who would
|
|
want to steal anything from you if they can make it themselves? Besides, you
|
|
could build your own security system. Health care? Nanites can keep you germ
|
|
free for the rest of your life [That is, if you die. Conceivably,
|
|
nanotechnology could make one immortal, barring serious injury.]. Nanotech can
|
|
provide the ultimate in individual freedom. People will make what they need,
|
|
what they want, and will live off the land (for raw materials). However, not
|
|
all government will become unnecessary. Measures will still have to be taken
|
|
to keep harmful devices from being built, like atom bombs. If John Q.
|
|
Terrorist received the plans for an ICBM, he could feed it to his nanites. As
|
|
long as he had the raw materials available, he could build as many as he
|
|
wants. The fact is, once nanotechnology becomes sufficiently advanced, the
|
|
possibilities for technological expansion, and technological abuse, become
|
|
limitless.
|
|
|
|
|
|
THE PROBLEM.
|
|
------------
|
|
|
|
Unfortunately, not everything can be as good as it looks. The problem is
|
|
that the same technology which can free your body and soul from the chains
|
|
that hold it (mainly the government and the megacorps) can be used against you
|
|
in awful ways. Nanotechnology, if released into the wrong hands, is more
|
|
dangerous than nuclear weapons. If, like computer technology, nanites become a
|
|
tool of the already powerful, than it will become the ultimate tool of
|
|
exploitation. It is very alarming that a greedy corporation could gain control
|
|
of the most powerful technology this planet has ever seen, and sell it to the
|
|
highest bidder; such technology could control the world under a crushing
|
|
threat of 'disassembly'.
|
|
|
|
Folx on the Net, of all people, have seen what happens when only corps
|
|
and governments have access to the most powerful toys. How some people in this
|
|
country barely have access to a phone book, while others bathe in a sea of
|
|
information. However, we all know the benefits that arise when people have
|
|
unlimited access to a domain that has no centralized seat of power, like the
|
|
Internet. The future of our society and nanotechnology depend on this
|
|
principle of unlimited access to technology. Governments and megacorps, once
|
|
they wise up to what the future holds in store, will attempt to grab it and
|
|
take it away from us. They will see that it is a threat to their existence, a
|
|
development that will change the way we live and work forever.
|
|
|
|
We must stay alert. We must not be afraid of the change. Our society must
|
|
embrace the technology as another step in our evolution as a species. Once
|
|
fully developed, nanotechnology will change humanity forever; more than the
|
|
wheel, or the computer, ever did. We must keep our heads above the sea of
|
|
information and not let those who would exploit such power take it out from
|
|
under our noses. Nanotechnology may be years away, it may be decades away.
|
|
Keep your mind open...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hagbard
|
|
hagbard@io.com
|
|
|
|
Want to know more about nanotech? Read _Engines of Creation_ by
|
|
K. Eric Drexler. ISBN 0-385-19973-2
|
|
Doubleday Books
|
|
|
|
or
|
|
|
|
_Nanosystems_ by K. Eric Drexler, for a more technical
|
|
approach to the subject. ISBN 0-471-57547-X
|
|
John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ia-R'lyeh! Cthulu fhtagn! Ia! Ia!
|
|
--H.P. Lovecraft
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
THiNKEST THOU
|
|
by Mr. Asttct Fasuath
|
|
|
|
NOTE: NOT a religious text!
|
|
The dogmas of many so-called "Christian" churches are incorrect and
|
|
dangerous. As with all things, there is a correct way and an incorrect way of
|
|
going about things. The approach taken by those labeled "fundamentalists" is
|
|
almost the exact opposite of that espoused by Christ and His teachings.
|
|
It is unfortunate that so many misguided followers belong to these reli-
|
|
gious institutions. Many good and honest people are attracted by the apparent
|
|
devotion of the church leaders -- the forward, open statements of belief and
|
|
so forth that characterize Pentecostals, Baptists, and the followers of sever-
|
|
al other churches extant in the U.S. today.
|
|
The dogma of these institutions is where the fault lies, not with the
|
|
people. Examples of the hypocrisies bleated by these misguided sheep listed
|
|
below:
|
|
|
|
For the following crimes against humanity, you receive the following prizes:
|
|
1.) Eternal life in heaven <"The mind is its own place, and in it self/ Can
|
|
make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n." -Milton>
|
|
2.) Attending church at least once a week, sometimes more <you go into a big
|
|
room with a lot of uncomfortable, overdressed, self-conscious people who
|
|
don't really want to be there, get tennis knee by Aerobicising (?) to
|
|
Amazing Grace, get told for an hour that you've BEEN VERY, VERY BAD, can
|
|
you ever forgive us oh Lord Jesus, thank God for forgiving we poor misera-
|
|
ble sinners, despite the fact that we haven't actually been given a sign
|
|
that He will forgive us, then leave, and lie to the preacher about how
|
|
good his Epic sermon was, pretend to like people we hate, then go home,
|
|
become total gluttons, and repeat, ad infinitum et nauseum. And, depend-
|
|
ing on your particular flavor, you might get to:
|
|
a. Speak in Tongues
|
|
b. Do penance
|
|
c. handle snakes
|
|
d. pray (prey?) to minor patron Demigods and/or a modified Mother Goddess
|
|
e. Practice tribal chants with the preacher>
|
|
3.) Cram yourself into a very narrowly defined social structure <Turn the
|
|
other cheek, don't dance, don't wear make-up (Don't paint yourself like a
|
|
little whore!), don't, es ist verboten... in some extreme cases, and these
|
|
are the ones the farthest (?) from the Godhead>
|
|
4.) *keep the Temple clean!!! <the body is a temple, ergo things like coffee,
|
|
colas, and certain foods are _sehr_verboten!_ Note: * only for Mormons,
|
|
some Baptists, and a few others>
|
|
|
|
Hypocrisy for guilt & prophet!
|
|
1.) Espousing forgiveness -- yet themselves being totally unable to forgive
|
|
others, or themselves (the root of the problem).
|
|
2.) Being exclusive and insular -- Christ was the opposite
|
|
3.) using God as an excuse for their failures
|
|
4.) using God as an excuse for their personal prejudices
|
|
5.) See above
|
|
|
|
"So," you think, "What would you have us do, Mister-Really-A-Satanist-
|
|
Trying-To-Corrupt-The-Flock-And-Send-Us-All-To-Hell? Well, MR. ASTTCT FASUATH
|
|
would like for you to RTFB and make up your own damn minds about all of this.
|
|
Most of the bizarre shit people think is important is dated, or rather OUTdat-
|
|
ed. (Would you drink 2,000+ year-old milk? No? I don't drink it if it's
|
|
over a week old, myself.) This is not to say one should run out and join the
|
|
Church of Scientology, either. Trendy is bad.
|
|
These are the major points:
|
|
1.) Love the Lord your God with all your heart.
|
|
2.) Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
|
|
3.) Think.
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
Now consider the tortoise and the eagle.
|
|
The tortoise is a ground-living creature. It is impossible to live
|
|
nearer the ground without being under it. Its horizons are a few inches away.
|
|
It has about as good a turn of speed as you need to hunt down a lettuce. It
|
|
has survived while the rest of evolution flowed past it being, on the whole,
|
|
no threat to anyone and too much trouble to eat.
|
|
And then there is the eagle. A creature of the air and high places,
|
|
whose horizons go all the way to the edge of the world. Eyesight keen enough
|
|
to spot the rustle of some small and squeaky creature half a mile away. All
|
|
power, all control. Lightning death on wings. Talons and claws enough to
|
|
make a meal of anything smaller than it is and at least take a hurried snack
|
|
out of anything bigger.
|
|
And yet the eagle will sit for hours on the crag and survey the kingdoms
|
|
of the world until it spots a distant movement and then it will focus, focus,
|
|
_focus_ on the small shell wobbling among the bushes down there in the desert.
|
|
And it will _leap_...
|
|
And a minute later the tortoise finds the world dropping away from it.
|
|
And it sees the world for the first time, no longer one inch from the ground
|
|
but five hundred feet above it, and it thinks: what a great friend I have in
|
|
the eagle.
|
|
And then the eagle lets go.
|
|
And almost always the tortoise plunges to its death. Everyone knows why
|
|
the tortoise does this. Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off. No one
|
|
knows why the eagle does this. There's good eating on a tortoise but, consid-
|
|
ering the effort involved, there's much better eating on practically anything
|
|
else. It's simply the delight of eagles to torment tortoises.
|
|
But of course, what the eagle does not realize is that it is participat-
|
|
ing in a very crude form of natural selection.
|
|
One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.
|
|
|
|
-Terry Pratchett, from _Small Gods_
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
ULTiMATUM
|
|
by Linda Thompson
|
|
|
|
[Ed. Note: Clockwork found this text on a local board, and we thought you
|
|
should get a look at it. We neither condone nor disapprove of Ms. Thompson's
|
|
views, but we might. Needless to say, it is interesting reading, so you
|
|
might want to make reservations in Washington D.C. for the second full week of
|
|
September to watch the spectacle (or fizzle).]
|
|
|
|
Every member of the United States House of Representatives and Senate are
|
|
this week being delivered an ultimatum that demands that each of them person-
|
|
ally take the initiative to revoke unconstitutional legislation and initiate
|
|
an inquiry into Waco. A copy of the Ultimatum follows in the next message.
|
|
All MILITIA units will convene in Washington, D.C., the second full week
|
|
that the Congress is in session in September to enforce this mandate and to
|
|
deliver copies of the Declaration of Independence to the White house.
|
|
All units will be armed and prepared to enforce this mandate. This is
|
|
exactly what it sounds like.
|
|
|
|
**NOTE: MILITIA UNITS MUST WEAR IDENTIFYING INSIGNIA AND BE ARMED.
|
|
|
|
If you are armed and wear a military insignia identifying you as a member of a
|
|
military unit, if captured, you must be treated as a Prisoner of War, not as a
|
|
criminal arrestee, by law.
|
|
|
|
We have five months to get in shape and be prepared to restore this coun-
|
|
try's liberty. Mentally and physically, we must be ready, willing, and able,
|
|
to do the job.
|
|
I have personally signed the ultimatum to be delivered to Congress, as
|
|
John Hancock said, in handwriting so large that the King cannot mistake my
|
|
identity. No other persons are or will be identified, however, please feel
|
|
free to copy and issue the ultimatum to Congress yourself.
|
|
A copy of the ultimatum follows in the next message.
|
|
Additionally, a signed Declaration of Independence will be delivered to
|
|
the White House on the day the militia convenes in Washington, D.C., in Sep-
|
|
tember, very likely with millions of signatures.
|
|
Below the initial 100 signers' names which are affixed on the original,
|
|
we will attach every page of signatures obtained between now and September.
|
|
Please circulate the Declaration of Independence and obtain signatures
|
|
throughout the country through every means possible and return to AJF, 3850 S.
|
|
Emerson Ave., Suite E, Indianapolis, IN 46203.
|
|
We will be airdropping this information throughout the country and dis-
|
|
tributing it through churches, gun shows, etc. All national media have been
|
|
provided copies as well.
|
|
Please distribute all pages of the Militia Alert, Ultimatum, and Declara-
|
|
tion of Independence everywhere. Make thousands of copies. Put them out in
|
|
grocery stores, wherever you can think of.
|
|
More pilot volunteers, printers, and funding for the distribution of the
|
|
Declaration of Independence are needed.
|
|
Whether I am arrested or killed in the interim has no bearing on the
|
|
preparations of the militia units, the ultimatum, or the Declaration of Inde-
|
|
pendence throughout this country.
|
|
Proceed as planned, plan accordingly, and God bless us all.
|
|
|
|
Linda Thompson
|
|
Acting Adjutant General
|
|
UMUS, pursuant to
|
|
10 USC 311
|
|
Articles I and II, Bill of Rights,
|
|
Constitution of the United States of America
|
|
|
|
Additional information and updates will be posted on the American Justice
|
|
Federation voice mail line at 317-780-5200 beginning April 20, 1994. Leave a
|
|
message if you can volunteer to help print these documents, fly planes to
|
|
airdrop literature, get the information on radio or television, etc. A copy
|
|
of this ultimatum is being delivered this week to each member of the U.S.
|
|
House of Representatives and U.S. Senate, as well as to all national media.
|
|
______________________________________________________________________________
|
|
|
|
*** ULTIMATUM ***
|
|
|
|
WHEREAS, the federal government of the United States of America is con-
|
|
strained by the law of the United States Constitution, the Supreme law of this
|
|
country, to limited jurisdiction, and limited power; and
|
|
|
|
WHEREAS, the federal government of the United States of America, through
|
|
unlawful Executive Orders, and through legislation passed without quorum and
|
|
without proper ratification or otherwise unlawfully enacted under mere color
|
|
of law by members of the legislative branch, have usurped the Constitutional
|
|
authority of the sovereign states and sovereign citizens of this country, and
|
|
laws which are unlawful and unconstitutional have been enacted in voluminous
|
|
number which have outrageously exceeded the boundaries of law and decency; and
|
|
|
|
WHEREAS, the people of this country have been exploited and subjugated to
|
|
an unlawful authority by an unlawful system of loans from a private banking
|
|
institution, known as the Federal Reserve, and been forced, even at gunpoint,
|
|
to submit to an unlawful federal income tax which is not and never has been
|
|
within the authority of the federal government to enact or enforce, all to the
|
|
benefit of private individuals and corporations at the expense of the liberty,
|
|
lives, and property of the citizens of this nation; and
|
|
|
|
WHEREAS, persons acting under color of law as federal agents, under the
|
|
direction of those claiming to be elected officials operating under color of
|
|
law, sworn to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States, have
|
|
infringed upon the rights of citizens to keep and bear arms, have conducted
|
|
unlawful warrantless house to house searches and seizures, have assaulted and
|
|
killed sovereign citizens of this country on the false pretense of "gun con-
|
|
trol," "child abuse," "the war on drugs" and a plethora of unlawful statutes
|
|
enacted to unlawfully control the lives and liberty of the citizens of this
|
|
country;
|
|
|
|
WHEREAS, elections are now controlled through the power of committees and
|
|
lobbies wielding the most money to obtain electoral votes or sway the nomina-
|
|
tion of candidates and persuade the enactment of legislation that has made it
|
|
impossible for the common citizen to participate as a candidate in an election
|
|
or for the vote of the common citizen to be meaningful; and
|
|
|
|
WHEREAS, through an unconstitutional and unlawfully enacted "income tax,"
|
|
the federal government has created a "carrot and stick" that has seduced and
|
|
coerced the elected officials of the several states to submit to the unlawful
|
|
incursion of the federal government and its agents into the sovereign territo-
|
|
ry of each state, as a trade off for the receipt of these ill gotten proceeds;
|
|
|
|
THEREFORE, YOU ARE COMMANDED to uphold your oath and duty to the citizens
|
|
of this country, to uphold the Constitution and the rights of the citizens of
|
|
this country, and in so doing, you are commanded to personally initiate legis-
|
|
lation and do all things necessary to:
|
|
|
|
Repeal the 14th, 16th, and 17th amendments to the Constitution of the
|
|
United States and to publicly acknowledge that the federal government has no
|
|
jurisdiction to make or enforce criminal laws outside its territories, limited
|
|
to the area of Washington, D.C., and the property and territories actually
|
|
owned by the United States, which does not include any State within the sever-
|
|
al states of the united states; and
|
|
|
|
Repeal the Brady Bill and NAFTA;
|
|
|
|
Repeal the Drug Interdiction Act and 10 USC 372, et. seq. and any laws
|
|
which allow the use of military equipment or military personnel against United
|
|
States citizens or which provide a backdoor method to fund "national guard,"
|
|
under the guise that the guard is a "state asset" even though the federal
|
|
government provides the salary, funding and support and none of these units is
|
|
counted as a State Guard asset, or which trains federal "law enforcement" in
|
|
military tactics and provides military equipment to federal law enforcement
|
|
for any purpose; and publicly acknowledge that the federal government, through
|
|
any means, may not use military force or equipment against any person on U.S.
|
|
soil or upon the soil of any sovereign state, except in the case of a declared
|
|
war or in the event of an actual invasion by troops of a foreign country
|
|
within the boundaries of the United States of America, and only then, against
|
|
such foreign troops, not citizens or residents of this country; and
|
|
|
|
Immediately remove any and all foreign troops and equipment and to imme-
|
|
diately identify each and every federal military troop and federal law en-
|
|
forcement or tax enforcement agent and all equipment now located within the
|
|
boundaries of any and every state, including all assets of military or task
|
|
force "special operations" units, CIA, NSA, or any other covert law enforce-
|
|
ment, quasi-law enforcement or military agency or activity; and
|
|
|
|
Declare that the United States of America is not operating under the
|
|
authority of the United Nations or if it is, to immediately renounce and
|
|
revoke any and all agreements binding the United States to such authority; and
|
|
|
|
Declare the federal debt to the Federal Reserve null and void, unconsitu-
|
|
tional, and without effect and order that currency no longer be printed by the
|
|
Federal Reserve or any entity other than the Treasury of the United States,
|
|
backed by gold within the possession of the United States; and
|
|
|
|
Declare that the federal government does not now have and never has had
|
|
the legal authority to enact or enforce criminal laws outside the area of
|
|
Washington, D.C., or outside its territories or its own property, such as
|
|
military bases, and never upon the soil of any sovereign state, and that all
|
|
such laws are null and void and without effect;
|
|
|
|
Convene a full Congressional inquiry, to be conducted publicly, by an
|
|
independent prosecutor selected from a person who has no association in any
|
|
way whatsoever with any agency of the federal government, into the events in
|
|
Waco, Texas, from February 28, 1993 through the present, at the property known
|
|
as Mt. Carmel, with the special prosecutor to have the full power to convene a
|
|
grand jury from the citizens of all the 50 states, obtain indictments, and
|
|
issue subpoenas duces tecum and subpoenas for testimony before a grand jury,
|
|
and to prosecute any and all persons, regardless of their position in govern-
|
|
ment, for any crimes for which a true bill of indictment is returned.
|
|
|
|
NOTICE: You have until the second full week that the Congress reconvenes in
|
|
September, 1994, to personally initiate legislation to this effect and to do
|
|
all things necessary to effect this legislation and the restoration of a
|
|
Constitutional government within this country.
|
|
|
|
If you do not personally and publicly attend to these demands, you will be
|
|
identified as a Traitor, and you will be brought up on charges for Treason
|
|
before a Court of the Citizens of this Country.
|
|
|
|
Linda D. Thompson
|
|
Acting Adjutant General
|
|
Unorganized Militia of the United States of America
|
|
Pursuant to 10 USC 311 and
|
|
Articles I and II of the Bill of Rights
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
Don't be shocked that I was in prison. You're still in prison. That's
|
|
what America means: Prison.
|
|
--Malcolm X, "The Address to the Grassroots"
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
MEDiTATiONS: LiVE FROM NEW YORK
|
|
by Crux Ansata
|
|
|
|
When I talk to my friends, I hear what they most recall from New York.
|
|
For many it is the plays, the musicals, for I am often with a dramatic crowd.
|
|
For others it is the shops, or the museums, or the tourist sights. For me,
|
|
this trip, I suspect it will be the prison.
|
|
|
|
There is a prison four or five blocks from my house, or the house where I
|
|
am staying. I pass by it every day as I walk to the house where I feed the
|
|
cats of a lady I know, now on vacation. (The lady, not the cats.) Even in
|
|
the case of a prison, many will perceive their protectors at work, or, at
|
|
best, a necessary blemish on the landscape that we may remain the most free
|
|
nation on earth. (Indeed, every police car I've seen, even those with no
|
|
licence plate, have a bumper sticker proclaiming a reward for anyone calling
|
|
(212) COP-SHOT that helps get another citizen incarcerated. 'Tis a pity they
|
|
don't care that much about citizens.)
|
|
|
|
The reality is that we have more of our populace behind bars than any
|
|
other nation in the world. The "most free nation on earth" is free at the
|
|
cost of the freedom of its parts, and, in freedom, can freedom of parts exist
|
|
at the cost of slavery of parts? Were we not a slave nation when we held
|
|
slaves? Were we free before _all_ were free?
|
|
|
|
No, when I see the bars I do not think of the actions of my "protectors,"
|
|
I think, rather, of the teenaged girl I saw yesterday, clutching the chain
|
|
fence just below the barbed wire, crying as two of her friends tried to con-
|
|
sole her. How common must this be? I don't know, and neither do the kind of
|
|
people with whom I "hang." There must be an uncountable number of girls
|
|
clutching the wire that enslaves their boyfriends, their fathers, their broth-
|
|
ers, even their children.
|
|
|
|
I think of such as I saw today: a well dressed family -- father, mother,
|
|
and eight or nine year old daughter -- dressed in fine, "go-to-meeting"
|
|
clothes, exiting the massive concrete bunker with heads down, apparently
|
|
leaving a visit. One of the greatest tragedies of our "society" today is that
|
|
we cannot empathize with those who must undergo the torture of repeated sepa-
|
|
ration for the lifeforce of the occasional glimpse behind the bars. Today we
|
|
weekly have _Cops_ to dehumanize the "criminals." When will we have something
|
|
to humanize these silent victims?
|
|
|
|
I think of the graffiti sprayed on the sidewalk outside, evidently for
|
|
the benefit of those encased in the concrete and iron tower, which read, for
|
|
example, "_______, your mother loves you." Is this the menace our tax dollars
|
|
need to clean up? When the reporters display gang signs and decry the de-
|
|
struction in the streets, I can recall no instance where such a touching logo
|
|
was so defamed.
|
|
|
|
No, our nation has come to forget the intentions of our founding fathers,
|
|
from Franklin to Jesus, all of which supported the reduction of criminals by
|
|
the reduction of laws. While one of us is in chains, none of us will be free.
|
|
|
|
All of us must seek to balance our minds. I'll not proclaim that all
|
|
crime should be decriminalized. That is not the purpose of this essay.
|
|
Rather, I'll assert that there is another side to our prisons. Until that
|
|
side is appreciated, we will all be willing slaves.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"You visited me when I was in prison."
|
|
|
|
All too often today, we forget the obvious edict here: to visit the
|
|
obvious victims, those in the steel cages. Yet this is only part of what
|
|
Christ commanded. Remember Jude 22 (NEB): "There are some doubting souls who
|
|
need your pity; snatch them from the flames and save them."
|
|
|
|
It is, of course, true that those in the boxes are victims of a system;
|
|
how much more so it must be to their captors who have come to believe that
|
|
they serve man by enslaving men! How much more must we visit and free those
|
|
whose souls have been moulded into a frame where they cannot feel their love
|
|
flow freely! And how many more prisoners there are outside the prisons!
|
|
|
|
When the word of God says, through Jude, to "snatch them from the
|
|
flames," He speaks too of those in "the system," the law of this world, the
|
|
law of Mammon. The Lord calls many, but if one is lost because of your pride,
|
|
because you felt his better, how much will you pay in judgment!
|
|
|
|
No, visit the prisoners, if such is your calling, in the uniforms of both
|
|
sides of the bars. Visit the prisoners in the schools. Visit the prisoners
|
|
in the military uniforms, the business suits, and the beggar's rags, for are
|
|
we not all sons and daughters of God? Are we not all brothers and sisters?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Eight days after penciling the last of the preceding words, on Independ-
|
|
ence Day 1994, I read the words Timothy Leary left his guards, following his
|
|
prison break. Coincidence, I'm sure.
|
|
|
|
In the name of the Father and the Mother and the Holy Ghost --
|
|
Oh, Guards -- I leave now for freedom. I pray that you will free
|
|
yourselves. To hold man captive is a crime against humanity and a
|
|
sin against God. Oh, guards, you are criminals and sinners. Cut it
|
|
loose. Be free. Amen.
|
|
|
|
(Source: Robert Anton Wilson, _Cosmic Trigger_)
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
[=- POETRiE -=]
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
FEVER DREAM
|
|
by Harlequin
|
|
|
|
I am dysfunctional, broken
|
|
(Or so they say)
|
|
You fulfill a need; a chasm
|
|
(the hole in my heart)
|
|
I bleed my life in endless dreams
|
|
(nightmares, really)
|
|
Your cool hand soothes my fevered brow
|
|
(I adore you)
|
|
You gaze down on me, a benevolent goddess
|
|
(I worship you)
|
|
I matters of heart, your cup runs over
|
|
(Filling me)
|
|
You make me whole, you help me live
|
|
You have but to ask
|
|
You will receive
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
To preserve the freedom of the human mind then and freedom of the press,
|
|
every spirit should be ready to devote itself to martyrdom.
|
|
--Thomas Jefferson
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
POP-SOCiAL-PSYCHOLOGY
|
|
by I Wish My Name Were Nathan
|
|
|
|
|
|
Society will approach ruin
|
|
sooner than you can realize
|
|
|
|
Notice the methods man has taken
|
|
to
|
|
destroy
|
|
itself
|
|
|
|
No more togetherness --
|
|
look at the size of the s p a c e b a r
|
|
|
|
No more
|
|
respect
|
|
for work
|
|
See the size of the PLAY button.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Meditate.
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
She apparently caused [the baby] to be dead. I fully anticipate some
|
|
kind of charge.
|
|
--Bob Wiatt, Texas A&M director of security
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
LOVE
|
|
by Harlequin
|
|
|
|
My hand, nervous, a mind of its own
|
|
My body betrays me, I feel alone
|
|
Unable to move
|
|
Yet able to think
|
|
Breathing fast
|
|
I see (I think?)
|
|
You move, you laugh, a twinkling eye
|
|
No one here seems alone, as I...
|
|
Nerves again
|
|
Fear in my throat
|
|
I cannot move
|
|
I cannot speak
|
|
You walk away, completely unaware
|
|
I cannot tell you, you'll never know
|
|
I'd die for you
|
|
I already have
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hell is not a place, it's a game you play.
|
|
You suffer every move you make.
|
|
--The Revolting Cocks, "Something Wonderful"
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
UNTiTLED #1
|
|
by Griphon
|
|
|
|
My expectations
|
|
far exceed my abilities,
|
|
still.
|
|
I have not learned
|
|
to control myself with what is in my grasp,
|
|
still.
|
|
|
|
I look upon my situation
|
|
and groan in contempt of my foolish desires.
|
|
Standing here at my crossroads
|
|
I see a life
|
|
totally screwed up by my covetous spirit.
|
|
|
|
'Tis not the seeds of hope I plant
|
|
that hurt me
|
|
But rather the needs of what I cannot do:
|
|
my failures
|
|
my shortcomings
|
|
that put me through broken shame.
|
|
|
|
The soul I lie to
|
|
because it does not deserve to see me
|
|
as I am;
|
|
and because I cannot stand
|
|
to be alone with myself.
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
The middle of the road is where the white line is -- and that's the worst
|
|
place to drive.
|
|
--Robert Frost
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
A DYSLEXiC
|
|
by Harlequin
|
|
|
|
Life before was an empty shell
|
|
Angel or Devil
|
|
I cannot tell; sometimes,
|
|
They're one and the same
|
|
How do you feel?
|
|
I can never tell
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
"As you can tell from last weekend, there's a lot of pistols out there."
|
|
--Police Capt. Juan Gonzalez, head of a program
|
|
to trade concert tickets for citizen's guns
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
UNTiTLED #2
|
|
by Griphon
|
|
|
|
The soul that I sometimes dream of...
|
|
I have not yet realized it shall remain a dream
|
|
tempestuous and torturous
|
|
and always wisping out of my broken grasp.
|
|
|
|
I am a fool.
|
|
I am a liar.
|
|
I am a coward.
|
|
Yet, at times,
|
|
I aspire to a perfection
|
|
that I might obtain
|
|
if only I were courageous.
|
|
|
|
And, at times,
|
|
I do not loathe myself,
|
|
and do not lie to the soul trusting me.
|
|
I do not think myself wretched,
|
|
and am favored by the soul whom I cannot touch...
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
We are the people our parents warned us against.
|
|
--Nick Von Hoffman
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
TiMES LiKE THESE
|
|
by Harlequin
|
|
|
|
It's times like these, I feel I'm losing touch;
|
|
feeling the bodies pressed close beside me-
|
|
feeling the urge, and not caring too much.
|
|
|
|
Choking on foul breath, perfume and such;
|
|
Fury, confusion: the beast within me-
|
|
It's times like these, I feel I'm losing touch.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, tell me, Sebastian, shall we go clutch?"
|
|
Their babble and squawk infuriates me;
|
|
feeling the urge, and not caring too much.
|
|
|
|
Men, their machismo, that masculine crutch;
|
|
women, neuroses: "God, I'm so ugly!"
|
|
It's time like these, I feel I'm losing touch.
|
|
|
|
Peering o'er tables whilst eating my lunch,
|
|
wanting to unleash the beast within me-
|
|
feeling the urge, and not caring too much.
|
|
|
|
Baring my teeth; grinning, showing too much
|
|
gleeful laughter that wells up inside me...
|
|
It's times like these I feel I'm losing touch-
|
|
feeling the urge, and not caring too much.
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
It is useless for sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism
|
|
while the wolf remains of a different opinion.
|
|
--William Ralph Inge
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
UNTiTLED #3
|
|
by Griphon
|
|
|
|
What manner of man am I,
|
|
that takes no initiative in his future?
|
|
I stand idly by,
|
|
and my world passes me by.
|
|
|
|
I cannot take my eyes off this life
|
|
lest it devour me.
|
|
It does not care
|
|
I am not as important as I think.
|
|
|
|
My future is not assured
|
|
nor is my presence here.
|
|
|
|
I denied religion,
|
|
I became hollow.
|
|
I sought a dying heart,
|
|
I put myself through fires of hell,
|
|
all the while saying
|
|
"This is love."
|
|
|
|
Apathy kills the pain caused by trying to care,
|
|
but it eats away at one's life.
|
|
|
|
I feel cheated
|
|
because I did not reacts to this tilting world
|
|
because I was Numb.
|
|
|
|
Yet it's my own damn fault.
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ordinary people will go mad if they hear too much truth at once.
|
|
--Robert Anton Wilson, _Nature's God_
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
MURDER OF AN IMAGE
|
|
by I Wish My Name Were Nathan
|
|
|
|
Drowning in ineptitude, I feel. My mind shuffles words into exotic and
|
|
magnificently lucid phrases, but the mere act of typing them destroys their
|
|
meaning, their soul, their passion, in a wheezing and gasping convulsion of
|
|
destruction. My visions die slowly in 7-bit text, characters who are people
|
|
suddenly smashed into characters who are letters in the computer screen; they
|
|
slither along the surface of the glass, confused, aghast, horrified. Finding
|
|
frustration in their emotions, their speech, their gestures which seem so dry
|
|
and empty and white on black, they realize dimly that they have been reduced
|
|
into words, sentences; adjectives, adverbs; cliches and occasionally
|
|
interesting phrases which sometimes cry out but are soon forgotten. They die
|
|
and I clench my fists in furious disappointment. With a keypress, they are
|
|
buried on the platters of my hard disk, neatly put away, conveniently
|
|
forgotten, no longer a concern. I shan't bring flowers.
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
If Satan and the Incredible Hulk had a baby, would it's name be
|
|
Luciferigno?
|
|
--Kilgore Trout
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
FOR J---
|
|
by Harlequin
|
|
|
|
Deep inside, the swelling seed
|
|
Bursts into life, unknowing
|
|
What it is, where time will lead
|
|
knowing only of the place it's growing
|
|
The stalk grows higher, with it
|
|
grows the green'd, young bud
|
|
A Flower, unopened, inside it
|
|
Waiting... opening... blooming
|
|
A single red rose, bright & new
|
|
A single red rose, alone, for you
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
[=- FiCTiON -=]
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
SELF-PiTY
|
|
by Griphon
|
|
|
|
|
|
To A---
|
|
|
|
I forgot how much I missed self-pity. The feeling of despair that rises
|
|
in the stomach and permeates the soul. The darkness that overtakes the senses
|
|
and deals pain in throbbing, sporadic intervals like shallow breaths or
|
|
wandering thoughts. The inexplicable power realized by knowing that I and I
|
|
alone am hurting myself. The doting and pining over a single even or object
|
|
to the point of gut-wrenching and unholy desire. And especially the pain, the
|
|
sharpened, caustic pain of never obtaining the thing I believe I must thrive
|
|
upon.
|
|
|
|
I remember being alone, in the dark. Staring at the heavens and cursing
|
|
everything. Objecting to the cold reality of If and the contrast that my
|
|
yearning, beating heart felt. The self-pity and meticulous fantasizing that
|
|
only brought the sword of If deeper into my belly. I believed myself a poet,
|
|
the pain that I suffered genuine, and the satisfaction of knowing it could be
|
|
ended at anytime should I make the effort. But I didn't end the pain. It was
|
|
a drug to me. It hurt like hell, but there was no escape. The more I hurt
|
|
myself, the more I pitied myself, the more I enjoyed it. Then it ended.
|
|
|
|
Blindly, I came to you. I stopped cutting myself, stopped being
|
|
contented by the sight of my soul bleeding. I looked to you as a source of
|
|
healing for what I thought was my wounded self. I sought a release for my
|
|
beautiful, poetic devices that didn't include self-desecration. I searched
|
|
for the love that I purposely denied myself or tainted for the beauty of
|
|
suffering. Yet it was all in vain...
|
|
|
|
All I succeeded in doing was giving you Control over my pain. I allowed
|
|
you to destroy me, and I came back to you for more. I would run every
|
|
beautiful moment we shared through my mind and then face the grim inadequacy
|
|
and insecurity you felt and returned as acts of cruelty to create a symphony
|
|
of pain for myself. I reveled in the torture you brought me and found even
|
|
more suffering because you had taken my failsafe tool: Control.
|
|
|
|
Now it is over. I am scarred and torn by you. There is a seething and
|
|
loathsome hatred I hold for you. I am bitter and angry. And yet, I return to
|
|
my darkness. I hate the light; I hate your light. I sink back into my
|
|
shadows and take the blade from your hands. Slowly, I cut myself, replaying
|
|
the moments I shared with you that were perfect and feeling the bittersweet
|
|
pain flow like blood inside me. The hatred is gone and the pain returns. I
|
|
have control and I have self-pity. I close my eyes and run my fingers over
|
|
your body once again. I remember the passion and pure love I felt for you and
|
|
the void inside of me bellows and burns. discontent rages and I feed off it.
|
|
|
|
In time I may search for light again. I may pray that I never find
|
|
daggers hidden within the angelic wings. But should I cut myself again, I
|
|
shall be content with my discontent and pain. I crave it. I need pity, even
|
|
if it is self-inflicted.
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
My gosh, he sat on that furniture. It's like he's almost here.
|
|
--Ethellymm Sims, customer at an auction of Elvis memorabilia
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
THE DiLEMMA OF LORNE: STUD-BOY OR DiSiLLUSiONED GEEK? (Part II)
|
|
by Kilgore Trout
|
|
|
|
When I last wrote to you, my blessed readers, I was about to follow Lorne
|
|
and his date, the lovely Veronica. However, since I knew the restaurant that
|
|
they would be eating at, I stopped off at a 7-Eleven to kill some time. I've
|
|
read enough Hardy Boy books in my life to know how to spy on people.
|
|
|
|
I parked my Plymouth Fury and thought about buying gas, but figuring that
|
|
with only twenty dollars for the night it would not be wise. I walked inside,
|
|
acknowledging the store clerk with a nod. The back of the store was my goal,
|
|
and as I walked there, I perused enormous amounts of teeth-rotting candy. The
|
|
back of the store was one big cooler, and I found myself staring at cases of
|
|
beer. It would have been heaven for a newly-turned eighteen-year-old in
|
|
Louisiana. I went to the next door and grabbed a Big Slam Mountain Dew,
|
|
thirsting for caffeine and sugar from hell.
|
|
|
|
As I placed the bottle on the counter, the store clerk gave me a strange
|
|
look. "Ya know, that stuff sure is strong," he remarked. "Are you sure you
|
|
want to drink that?"
|
|
|
|
"Why not?" I answered. "They wouldn't be selling it if it wasn't safe."
|
|
|
|
Two hands came slamming down on my shoulders. "What the hell are you
|
|
saying, guy? Do you think the government cares about your safety? Oh, no,
|
|
buddy-boy, they just wanna make a buck. Sure, if the public gets a little
|
|
pissed off, they'll take minimal action to appease them. Take this Formula
|
|
One stuff they just banned in Texas. Said it contains this drug called
|
|
ephedrine which is chemically similar to speed and supposedly doesn't mix
|
|
well with other people's compositions, causing fatalities." He reached
|
|
behind his back and retrieved a small bottle of pills. "Well, look at this,
|
|
Mr. I-Think-The-Government's-Okay. Do you know what this is?"
|
|
|
|
I shook my head violently.
|
|
|
|
"It's ephedrine," he laughed, "A bronchial dilator for people with
|
|
asthma. Anyone can buy this stuff, and you're telling me the government's
|
|
doing a good job of protecting us? Geez..."
|
|
|
|
"But I don't think--"
|
|
|
|
"That'll be $1.15 for the drink."
|
|
|
|
I paid and left.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I arrived at the restaurant in a fit of clanking hubcaps and choking
|
|
engine fumes. The valet outside the restaurant stared at me in disbelief as I
|
|
got out of my good ole American car and handed him the keys.
|
|
|
|
"My Jag is getting an alarm put in it," I lied.
|
|
|
|
"Oh, really?" he replies. "I hope you get your Jag back soon. I didn't
|
|
know they could put alarms on Matchbox cars."
|
|
|
|
"Shut up and park the damn thing before I punch your lights out, bucko."
|
|
I raised my hands and one leg, ready to fight in the Karate Kid stance.
|
|
|
|
"No, please!" exclaimed the valet mockingly. "Don't piss on me!" His
|
|
voluminous laughter must have been heard around the globe.
|
|
|
|
I took aim at his head and let my leg fly. The valet ducked and punched
|
|
me in the gut. To quote John Bobbit, "It hurt real bad." With the half of my
|
|
face not imbedded in the asphalt, I saw that the valet was talking to a
|
|
really big guy. The only words I could make out were "Bruno," "dumbass kid,"
|
|
and "kick his ass." Bruno turned towards my direction and smiled. He must
|
|
fight off the babes with those five black teeth sporadically placed in his
|
|
mouth.
|
|
|
|
He started walking this way, and I started thinking I'm gonna need a new
|
|
change of underwear. I started to scream. Bruno picked me up. I kicked
|
|
wildly, constantly missing his fat body everytime. Bruno raised a hand and
|
|
beaned me in the head with his fist. I began seeing lots and lots of
|
|
breasts. Don't ask me why this happens when I get hurt--go read some Freud or
|
|
something.
|
|
|
|
Out of the corner of my eye, a tweed-covered breast raced out of the
|
|
restaurant and attacked Bruno. A haze of kicks, punches, headbutts,
|
|
dropkicks, body slams, suplexes, clotheslines, screwdrivers and martinis were
|
|
all I saw. Guess I forgot to tell you: Lorne wanted to be a professional
|
|
wrestler when he grew up.
|
|
|
|
Bruno took all the punishment he could and fell over, denting the
|
|
pavement in the process. Lorne, who was looking less and less like a breast,
|
|
ran over to me. I think he looked better with that big nipple in the middle
|
|
of his forehead.
|
|
|
|
"Thank you for saving my life, Lorne. I'll do anything for you."
|
|
|
|
Naturally, Lorne just shrugged.
|
|
|
|
"No, I mean it. Anytime you need anything, call me and--"
|
|
|
|
A screaming Veronica rushed out, eyes wet with tears.
|
|
|
|
"Don't worry, Veronica. I'm fine."
|
|
|
|
Naturally, Vernoica ignored me. Life went back to normal.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Basically, the rest of Lorne and Veronica's date took place at the
|
|
hospital while I had my spleen removed. It _was_ sponge bath Friday, however,
|
|
so I got soaped down by a voluptuous nurse--the only good thing that has ever
|
|
happened to me, except for maybe seeing my mom naked. They did let Lorne
|
|
watch my operation, which he thoroughly enjoyed, even if it meant leaving the
|
|
lovely Veronica in the waiting room for six hours.
|
|
|
|
So, that's about it, really. Our lives around here pretty much suck.
|
|
Okay, okay, so only mine does. Veronica and Lorne are in love now and are
|
|
about three months away from graduation and five months away from having a
|
|
baby. Once Lorne got started, he was a crazed lunatic and, well, let's just
|
|
say you should go buy stock in Kleenex cause even Veronica couldn't keep up
|
|
with him. But he was monogamous, unless you count pictures of naked women.
|
|
He had quite the collection.
|
|
|
|
As for me, I'm still broke and lonely. Girls still don't talk to me,
|
|
much less give me the time of day. I thought that by writing this down I'd
|
|
see a pattern. I must be blind because the only pattern I see is one of a
|
|
loser. At least some people out there will get a laugh at my worthless life.
|
|
|
|
[Follow-up note: Two weeks later the writer was shot dead in an alley after
|
|
passing up a can of OK Cola at a party. This supposedly was a coincidence,
|
|
but I'd go ahead and sue their asses anyone just for the taste. His body was
|
|
cremated and his ashes placed in an ashtray in Lorne and Veronica's home. He
|
|
did make a nice coffee-table piece. Finally, a happy ending.]
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
|
|
To maintain sensibility is the greatest effort required
|
|
To slip would be so easy, it would be accomplished with
|
|
little effort...
|
|
To burden others with your problems-
|
|
are they problems?-
|
|
Is not right-
|
|
However
|
|
To carry them is akin to carrying a fused bomb-
|
|
I wonder if the fuse can be doused-
|
|
If it is doused what will be gained?
|
|
Will the gain be worth the effort put forth?
|
|
But should one who considers himself strong,
|
|
Surrender to an enemy he considers so
|
|
trivial
|
|
and
|
|
despicable...
|
|
|
|
--Charles Whitman, the U.T. Tower Sniper
|
|
|
|
|
|
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
|
|
|
REQUiEM FOR DEAD SOULS
|
|
by Harlequin
|
|
|
|
These, in the day when heaven was falling,
|
|
The hour when earth's foundations fled,
|
|
Followed their mercenary calling
|
|
And took their wages and are dead.
|
|
|
|
Their shoulders held the sky suspended;
|
|
They stood, and earth's foundations stay;
|
|
What God abandoned, these defended,
|
|
And saved the sum of things for pay.
|
|
|
|
|
|
from Epitaph on an Army of Mercenaries
|
|
by A. E. Housman
|
|
|
|
|
|
December 20, 1999...
|
|
|
|
Lane punched through the frozen static hell into the net, his tear --
|
|
tracks lost in the sense -- irreality of the artificial environ. Anguish --
|
|
dulled senses made him fumble codes and trip alarms, but he didn't care.
|
|
Nothing mattered.
|
|
|
|
He was caught, slammed into a nonwall construct, and caught again. He'd
|
|
found the Child.
|
|
|
|
"Now now, Lane. No time for tears. What do you need?" the idiot
|
|
savant/genius Child soothed him in its cold, calculating way. Now the room
|
|
was orange, for anguish. The child floated, white and glowing, in the middle
|
|
of the shifting Room.
|
|
|
|
"Take it, take it all. I...I...just take it." Lane composed.
|
|
|
|
"You don't mean that."
|
|
|
|
"Yes, I do, dammit! Take it all, I don't want to remember."
|
|
|
|
The Child leaned forward, an expressly adult maneuver. "If I do, you'll
|
|
be empty, nothing left, like a cracked egg. Every memory, every experience,
|
|
every touch... I wouldn't do it, were I you." It leaned back, the room kalei-
|
|
doscoping into fractal shapes.
|
|
|
|
"They're my memories, damn you! You eat them like so much candy! Just
|
|
take them, just take them, please..."
|
|
|
|
"Fine, fine. You'll want something in that empty brain of yours--"
|
|
|
|
Lane interrupted. "I don't care -- but don't let him feel pity, or
|
|
remorse, or, or..." Lane was gone, sucked from his own mind and stored in the
|
|
memory of the Child.
|
|
|
|
"Are the lambs still screaming, Lane?" the Child chuckled as its face
|
|
melted into that of a middle-aged man, his hair slick against his scalp.
|
|
"Goodnight, sweet prince..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
May 1, 2005...
|
|
|
|
It was dark in the room. The room was huge and gray, and reeked of hot
|
|
copper. It was unutterably cold in the room.
|
|
|
|
And then the Child spoke.
|
|
|
|
The room was filled with the quiet voice of the Child. The Child knew
|
|
everything, and in its knowledge, knew nothing. The Child filled the empty
|
|
room with its presence. It spoke of great things, and things of no import.
|
|
Cody was the child; they were the same.
|
|
|
|
Cody awoke from the sleep disoriented. His room was warm, and the body
|
|
pressed to his under the sheets moved ever so slightly. Cody lay quietly, the
|
|
dream fading into a waking oblivion.
|
|
|
|
He rose and made coffee. The girl stirred under the sheets and made
|
|
small waking sounds. Cody sat in his robe with the steaming mug clasped be-
|
|
tween his cold hands. The girl moved behind him, poured coffee. Weak yellow
|
|
light filtered through the closed blinds and made dancing patterns on the tile
|
|
floor. Consciousness cleared the predawn fog from his mind as the sun cleared
|
|
the morning mist from the streets. She sat across from him, head down over
|
|
her mug.
|
|
|
|
The stereo came on in the bedroom. Japanese rock played softly through
|
|
the walls and fell lightly on the ears of the wakeful. The rich scent of the
|
|
coffee played about his nostrils and wafted to the vent, to be lost among the
|
|
other morning smells.
|
|
|
|
Cody heard the shower motor whine, then kick in as water flowed through
|
|
the pipes. Mali was gone, bathing in the tepid water which fell on cool
|
|
porcelain.
|
|
|
|
Cody stepped onto the balcony and watched patrol gyros dart like damsel-
|
|
flies through the powder-blue sky. Life began to stir in the rooms around
|
|
him, as he heard alarms sound and children begin their faint wailing cries for
|
|
attention. One could only hear that outside, through the closed doors of the
|
|
other balcony rooms.
|
|
|
|
Cody liked the space he'd gotten. The park spread below like a green
|
|
carpet, the trees and lawns verdant and alive. He heard locusts, buzzing.
|
|
Odd... not locusts...
|
|
|
|
The blast would've killed him, had he been inside. The apartment blew
|
|
apart behind him, the door shattering with the force of the explosion.
|
|
|
|
The fire alarm wailed as he picked his way through the wreckage. The
|
|
bedroom was gone, lost in a swirl of debris and flame. Cody dove through the
|
|
doorway to the bathroom. There wasn't much left of Mali.
|
|
|
|
Cody ripped the remains of a poster from a bedroom wall and powdered
|
|
sheetrock with his fists. There was the briefcase he'd hidden, so long ago.
|
|
He ran from the room with the case clutched to his chest like a mother with
|
|
her child.
|
|
|
|
The hall was chaos. The remains of the front door were strewn about the
|
|
floor like so many straws. People were jabbering at one another across empty
|
|
space, too frightened to step outside their doors. Something truly new had
|
|
popped into their world like an obscene jack-in-the-box, and none could under-
|
|
stand this terrible new thing. None save Cody, who had known that this would
|
|
have to happen, eventually.
|
|
|
|
The lift doors down the hall rang cheerfully as they opened. There were
|
|
bound to be police on that lift, and they would want to question Cody. So
|
|
Cody ran to the stairwell and pounded down to the garage.
|
|
|
|
Cody opened the briefcase. Everything was there. He pulled the old
|
|
stealthleathers from the bag taped to the case and slid them on under his
|
|
robe. The case itself was coated with the mimetic polycarbon, and blended
|
|
with the gray cement wall. As did Cody.
|
|
|
|
He stepped into a dark alcove beneath the stairs and waited until the
|
|
police left. Soon, intelligence agents would be crawling all over the rooms,
|
|
examining blast patterns and looking for his remains.
|
|
|
|
Cody stepped from the shadows and tapped his left wrist. The suit dis-
|
|
played a crystalline control board, curved around his forearm. Cody tapped
|
|
the glassine panel and an expensive three-piece suit materialized about him.
|
|
He walked to the street and hailed a cab, which took him to the spaceport. He
|
|
paid the driver with three pink tens, and strode through the busy terminal. He
|
|
booked a seat on a transorbital to Houston, and another to Tokyo, under his
|
|
assumed name. The credentials were real; he'd paid a lot to get the paperwork
|
|
filed and his new identity verified legally, and it had kept him alive. He
|
|
gave the ticket agent a single thousand, a crimson bill with Warhol's Marilyn
|
|
Monroe on one side and Stonehenge on the other.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
In Houston he found the Child. The techno-barbarism of the modern Repub-
|
|
lic of Texas allowed for a great deal of experimentation. The Child was one
|
|
such experiment, a Texas Instruments toy gone wild. The Child was a VR con-
|
|
struct who went solo on October 30, 2001. Nobody knew why; the Child was
|
|
designed by machines, which were themselves designed by machines. Some said
|
|
it was a virus; others, an act of God. Cody had met the Child long ago, and
|
|
the Child had helped him, as it was helping him now. He/she/it controlled a
|
|
region of cyberspace Jockeys called the Void. When one entered the Void,
|
|
there was no up, no down, no anything, but for the Child.
|
|
|
|
The Child was itself empty, once. Now, it was the sum of the memories
|
|
and knowledge given it by its wards. The only price the Child demanded was a
|
|
memory; any memory. But that memory would be lost once it was given to the
|
|
Child, the neural pathways erased by the very act of taking.
|
|
|
|
Cody had been paid well to forget. Now, he traded his memories of Mali
|
|
for the aid of the Child, who helped him when he was in need. The Child told
|
|
him who was after him, and why.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
His trip to TokyoChiba was smooth until he landed. The stealthleather
|
|
told the scanners it was a business suit and a briefcase full of papers; the
|
|
passports verified that Cody was in fact Jerrod Terence Hill of Nebraska.
|
|
|
|
When he stepped from the terminal onto the gritty pavement, a woman
|
|
strode up from behind him and put her arm through his. She was trembling
|
|
under the big coat she was wearing, her face pale and sheened with sweat. Cody
|
|
felt thin hardness along her arm; he looked sharply at the girl, fighting
|
|
reflex. Her face, in profile, was one well remembered, one well loved.
|
|
|
|
Cody hailed a cab and paid with Hill's slotcard. They rode together in
|
|
silence to a motel, where a shaky ironwork lift carried them to their floor.
|
|
The sleepcubes were old, but cheap and nondescript. Cody slid the card
|
|
through the reader and pulled the key from the lock.
|
|
|
|
The woman followed him into the coffin, closing the door behind her. She
|
|
sat with her knees pulled to her chest, her head down. She looked at Cody
|
|
with tears in her eyes, and told him her name was Kera. She didn't recognize
|
|
him, his face a mask of expensive surgery which had changed constantly over
|
|
the years. Their history was long and painful. He'd helped her when he was
|
|
'lancing in Belfast for the I.R.A. Her family slain by overzealous Brits, and
|
|
he'd saved her from their baser attentions. The doctors rebuilt her in an
|
|
expensive Army hospital in Kentucky.
|
|
|
|
Kera, battered and nearly broken, bore scars which told of her hard life.
|
|
He stayed near her throughout the reconstructive therapy, knowing that she was
|
|
weak and empty. She seemed to emerge from a shell, a hardness she'd built to
|
|
protect herself from the harshness of her existence. He was drawn to her,
|
|
there being too many parallels in his own past for him to simply walk away.
|
|
The doctors rebuilt her face, restoring her natural beauty and her dignity.
|
|
|
|
She transformed from a scarred and frightened young girl to a graceful,
|
|
vibrant young woman. He loved her; Kera was the only person who had stirred
|
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those feeling from their abysmal slumber. She was his Achilles heel; when she
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cried for help, he was there. To him, she was The Woman.
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They'd spent a heady year together. He found himself deeply in love with
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her, and she never left his side. He hadn't taken any of the nastier work,
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and had kept her innocent of his occupation. Eventually, as always, there had
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come a snag. Cody remembered the hurried packing, trying desperately to
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explain why she had to leave, why they had to part. She'd fallen to her knees
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and wept, holding him tightly around his legs, begging him not to leave her.
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He'd reached into his sleeve and unfastened the thin Velcroed straps
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around his forearm. He handed the thin plastic Cross dagger to her; Cody told
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her he loved her, that he'd know where to find her when she needed him, and
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disappeared.
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Kera brightened as she told him how she'd tried to contact him. She was
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a hacker, a shadow programmer. She'd run against the wrong people, and her
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employers hadn't backed her. She was trying to disappear, to melt into the
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sea of people who flowed and ebbed through Tokyo. She needed his help, as she
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had so many times before.
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She moved to him and put her head on his chest, and wept. He held her
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gently, and soon she was asleep, her fears lost to her tears. Mechanically,
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trance like, Cody pulled a small black box from his case. He opened it;
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packed in soft foam were a pair of sensor beads. He attached these to the
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sockets at the base of her skull; light pulsed along the optics, passively
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scanning her mind and recording it all.
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As the device worked, Cody prepared himself for his task. Finished, the
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complex and expensive device beeped, twice. Cody ejected the newly-burned
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data wafer the size of an old style diskette, a ROM card with Kera's mind
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stored in it. He packed the box and the wafer back into the case. He left
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her a note; he'd be back, not to worry. It was all business.
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The elevator doors opened on the executive suites. Cody told the secre-
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tary he had an appointment. She sent him to the exec's office. The man was
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on the telephone, yammering away the latest stock reports. Then he turned to
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Cody.
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His plastic smile dropped when he saw Cody's face. The face that was
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supposed to be dead, plastered across the bedroom wall in Boston. The exec
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opened his mouth, and closed it, like a fish deprived of water. Cody stood,
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and shot the man through the skull as he tried to rise. The gun went off with
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a pop and a slight whining noise, and the flechettes erased the man's face.
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The falling corpse spun the chair, and it was still spinning when Cody left,
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drawing a perfect circle with one bloody shoeheel.
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Nobody _ever_ tried to take out Cody when he'd done a job for them. That
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was part of the Deal; Cody never named the employer or the job, and the em-
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ployer never tried to wash his hands of the affair by eliminating Cody. Cody
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gave the memory of his employers to the Child; he could never have spoken of
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the employer to anyone because he truly did not remember them. That was the
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Deal.
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Because if they came for Cody, Cody would have them removed.
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He returned to the coffin. Kera was there, asleep. He crawled in to the
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cubicle and she awoke. When she saw him, she threw her arms around him and
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kissed him as if for the first time.
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Their embrace became more passionate. As Cody achieved climax, he slit
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her throat. Her eyes opened, then; infinite sadness was clouded as she fell
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back onto the foam slab, her tight embrace slipping from him as she bled to
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death. She didn't cry out, she didn't even struggle, a single crystal tear
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falling from the corner of her eye. For a long time afterward, Cody could
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only stare at the dark spot it had left on the foam.
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It was dark in the room. The room was a cement cryotank, and it reeked
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of spilt blood. And then the Child spoke.
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The room was filled with the quiet voice of the Child. The Child knew
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everything, and in its knowledge, knew hatred. The Child filled the empty
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room with its presence. It spoke of things which could make a man great, and
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things which would ruin men. Cody was the Child; the Child took Kera as
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easily as it had taken Mali, as easily as Cody had then taken Kera's life.
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Weakness was intolerable.
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--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
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State of unBeing is copyrighted (c) 1994 by Kilgore Trout and Apocalypse
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Culture Publications. All rights are reserved to cover, format, editorials,
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and all incidental material. All individual items are copyrighted (c) 1994 by
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the individual author, unless otherwise stated. This file may be disseminated
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without restriction for nonprofit purposes so long as it is preserved complete
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and unmodified. Quotes and ideas not already in the public domain may be
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freely used so long as due recognition is provided. State of unBeing is
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available at the following places:
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iSiS UNVEiLED 512.930.5259 14.4 (Home of SoB)
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THE LiONS' DEN 512.259.9546 24oo
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ftp to io.com /pub/SoB
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Submissions may also be sent to Kilgore Trout at <kilgore@bga.com>. Thank you.
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--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
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