1576 lines
77 KiB
Plaintext
1576 lines
77 KiB
Plaintext
|
||
Living in such a state taTestaTesTaTe etats a hcus ni gniviL
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of mind in which time sTATEsTAtEsTaTeStA emit hcihw ni dnim of
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does not pass, space STateSTaTeSTaTeStAtE ecaps ,ssap ton seod
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does not exist, and sTATeSt oFOfOfo dna ,tsixe ton seod
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idea is not there. STatEst ofoFOFo .ereht ton si aedi
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Stuck in a place staTEsT OfOFofo ecalp a ni kcutS
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where movements TATeSTa foFofoF stnemevom erehw
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are impossible fOFoFOf elbissopmi era
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in all forms, UsOFofO ,smrof lla ni
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physical and nbEifof dna lacisyhp
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or mental - uNBeInO - latnem ro
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your mind is UNbeinG si dnim rouy
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focusing on a unBEING a no gnisucof
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lone thing, or NBeINgu ro ,gniht enol
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a lone nothing. bEinGUn .gnihton enol a
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You are numb and EiNguNB dna bmun era ouY
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unaware to events stneve ot erawanu
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taking place - not -iSSuE- ton - ecalp gnikat
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knowing how or what 4/23/94 tahw ro woh gniwonk
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to think. You are in F-O-U-R ni era uoY .kniht ot
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a state of unbeing.... ....gniebnu fo etats a
|
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--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
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|
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CONTENTS OF THiS iSSUE
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=----------------------=
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EDiTORiAL Kilgore Trout
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[=- ARTiCLES -=]
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A DEFENSE OF TERRORiSM Bobbi Sands
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DEAD PRESiDENTS WITH A SiCKLY PALLOR Captain Moonlight
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TiDBiTS OF PHiLOSOPHY Nomad
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MARTYR OF THE GRUNGE-FOLK Kilgore Trout
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[=- POETRiE -=]
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BEiNG Griphon
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DANCERS Crux Ansata
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WRiTTEN iN THE DARK Griphon
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FROM HiDiNG Crux Ansata
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iMMUNiTY Griphon
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A LOVE POEM Flying Rat's Nostril
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SHANNON Griphon
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ANOTHER DEPRESSiNG POEM -- BUT iT'S DEEP I Wish My Name Were Nathan
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[=- FiCTiON -=]
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A DAY iN MY LiFE Chris Wugner
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DEFiLEMENT Ivy Carson
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A LOOK BACK I Wish My Name Were Nathan
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iT BEATS WORKiNG AT JiFFY MART Kilgore Trout
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--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
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"Western people often see obscenity where there is only symbolism."
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--Sir John Woodroffe, _Shakti & Shakta_
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--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
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EDiTORiAL
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by Kilgore Trout
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Yes, welcome once again to another issue of State of unBeing. We're still
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||
putting these babies out, but I'm still wondering just how much you people out
|
||
there like it. Obviously, we're getting enough submissions to continue, so
|
||
that's a good sign, but I'd like to know exactly what you think about the
|
||
magazine and what you think needs to change/remain. I just want to feel loved.
|
||
Is that such a bad thing?
|
||
|
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Heh. Actually, if you don't like it and would rather read the script to
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||
_Joe Versus the Volcano_, it doesn't really bother me. I just get a kick out
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of doing this, and it has become a habit to put out zines now. It just comes
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naturally.
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Anyways, we have some pretty interesting stuff in this issue. One note
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that I'd like to make is about my article on Kurt Cobain's suicide. I have
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absolutely no idea what is in it. I wrote it during the weekend he died, and
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I just cut and pasted it into the magazine today. It's probably pretty crappy,
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but for some reason I felt I should put it in. If I turn him into some
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bullshit icon (which I probably did) forgive me, but I liked the guy's music.
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I'm sure some of you are wondering exactly what happened to all of those
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"TO BE CONTINUED..." stories that appeared in the first and second issues. If
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you skipped around before reading this, you might question why I started
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another story when I hadn't finished up the last one. Do not fear, my friends,
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for GRiMACE, THE DiLEMMA OF LORNE: STUD-BOY OR DiSiLLUSiONED GEEK?, and THE
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CONTiNUiNG STORY OF BUNGALO BiLL will all be completed in the next issue. They
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||
all just got put off by the author's, and it's all our fault. Clockwork will
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also be back next issue with a shitload of stuff, but he's out looking for
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tuxedos for prom, and I guess you've figured out by now how much of a
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||
procrastinator he is (alright, so I am too. That's why we're so close.)
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Now, pull out those reading glasses, get a nice cup of herbal tea, and
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read to your heart's content.
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|
||
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
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"The Beast does not look what he is. He may even have a comic moustache."
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--Soloviev, "The Anti Christ"
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||
|
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--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
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A DEFENSE OF TERRORiSM
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by Bobbi Sands
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The very title of this essay will alienate some people. This is
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unfortunate, because it demonstrates the power of society to control our very
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minds. Many fear the day when the government can look into our very souls and
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tell us, "You will believe, without question." That day is here.
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When was the last time you asked yourself, "Why?" Not "Why should I drive
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on the right side of the road?" or "Why is the sky blue?" or "Why is Perot on
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TV so much?" but something simple, like "Why marry?" or "Why police?" Some
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things are taken for granted, even by thinkers. One of these things is
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definitions. It is through definitions, unquestioned definitions, that society
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controls.
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One of the least understood words is "revolution." The word revolution
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meant so much to so many people as "a dramatic change" that it had to be
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||
dramatically changed. Society took the phrase "violent revolution," compressed
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||
it to read "revolution," and pulled the typical pea-and-shell trick of saying,
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"What? but it was always this way."
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"We have always had police."
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"We have always married."
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"We have always had money."
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Why?
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Another word that they changed this way is "terrorism." Terrorism need
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not be violent, it just has to terrify, be traumatic, make a person react in a
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way they never did before. You want to be a terrorist? Go to school and give
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a sandwich to the principal, and run like hell.
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If you can't make them think, at least make them wonder.
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Gurdijeff taught that most people spend their lives asleep. From time to
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time one person wakes up and thinks. That is terror, the realization there is
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a world outside your head. Most people never realize that. Most people are
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under the conception they think, but in reality they just select from a menu
|
||
of choices within the parameters of Decency. Decency is okay, as long as you
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||
decide to be decent yourself.
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Most people decide to be decent because that is what they have done their
|
||
entire lives. And that is what their parents did their entire lives. And that
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is what their parents' parents did their entire lives.
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That is safe.
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Most people wake up, go to work/school, go home, go to bed, wake up,
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et cetera ad infinitum. Then they die. Next time they get up, it's judgment
|
||
day and God is saying, "I gave you free will, schmucks, why didn't you use it?"
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That's where the crazies come in. We wait until people aren't paying
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attention, then we sneak up behind them and MAKE them think.
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That is terrorism.
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It is extremely hard to go through a daily routine when a random element
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is tossed in there. Say you had a routine of
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1: Wake Up
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2: Goto School/Work
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3: Goto Home
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4: Goto Bed
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5: Goto 1.
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||
After a while, it becomes habit. You could do it in your sleep. You never
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||
stop to think "Why do I do this this way?" Say someone changed your routine,
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so it read like this:
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1: Wake Up
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2: Pick A Number Between One And Ten
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3: If Number Is Ten Die Else Goto School/Work
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4: Goto Home
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5: Goto Bed
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6: Goto 1.
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Then you become more careful. You begin to think "I might be dead tomorrow."
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You begin to value your life.
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You begin to think.
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The importance of Terrorism, as a movement to organize people to make
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||
people think, is that it will make people think. It startles. It confuses.
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It awakens and illuminates.
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Just do it.
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||
The reader may be thinking, "But if I become a terrorist, I will bring
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||
about repression. I will bring down a rain of police into my neighborhood and
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||
add additional hardship to my family and the families of my neighbors. My
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||
children and my children's playmates will become targets for gun toting tyrants
|
||
with uniforms and impunity to gun down on allegations of riot incitement."
|
||
Maybe he or she was just thinking, "But I'll get arrested." Maybe you had out
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||
your Author Identification PullDown Menu, and are simply selecting the Crazie
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||
option. That leaves very few Decent options, such as Ignore, Disbelieve, and
|
||
Distrust. Select one and stop reading. I shouldn't have bothered. For those
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who are operating beyond the menu, I continue.
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It is absolutely true that, when you make people think, "by any means
|
||
necessary," people with badges get upset. If you make people think often
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||
enough, they may even show up at your neighborhood to make you stop. Jerry
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||
Rubin, one of the first yippies, said, "[R]epression eliminates the bystander,
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||
the neutral observer, the theorist; it forces everyone to pick a side." If
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||
you make the police come by, they become the terrorists.
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||
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They make people think.
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Attract attention. Bring in the guest speakers in blue, and have them
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||
perform a free performance piece in your front yard. Make people think, "If
|
||
they dragged away him, they can drag away me," instead of, "If they dragged
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||
away him, he is guilty."
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||
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||
Even better, think that yourself.
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||
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||
It is vital that every person begin to make an effort to make those around
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||
him think. Every man a teacher. Teach with your actions, teach with your
|
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words, teach with your beliefs. Do things you don't believe in, just so people
|
||
wonder why you did it.
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||
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Do things.
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||
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||
When you shock one person, you run the risk of making someone think for
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||
themselves. That's a risk we all want to take. Even if they think you are
|
||
wrong, they THINK.
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||
When the civilians think, the crazies win.
|
||
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||
Confusion, terrorism, for victory. Solidarity with the terrorists of all
|
||
peoples, all lands, all causes.
|
||
|
||
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
||
|
||
The Moral Principle and the Material Interest
|
||
|
||
A Moral Principle met a Material Interest on a bridge wide enough for but
|
||
one.
|
||
"Down, you base thing!" thundered the Moral Principle, "and let me pass
|
||
over you!"
|
||
The Material Interest merely looked in the other's eyes without saying
|
||
anything.
|
||
"Ah," said the Moral Principle, hesitatingly, "let us draw lots to see
|
||
which shall retire till the other has crossed."
|
||
The Material Interest maintained an unbroken silence and an unwavering
|
||
stare.
|
||
"In order to avoid a conflict," the Moral Principle resumed, somewhat
|
||
uneasily, "I shall myself lie down and let you walk over me."
|
||
Then the Material Interest found a tongue, and by a strange coincidence
|
||
it was its own tongue. "I don't think you are very good walking," it said.
|
||
"I am a little particular about what I have underfoot. Suppose you get off
|
||
into the water."
|
||
It occurred that way.
|
||
|
||
--The opening fable to Ambrose Bierce's _Fantastic Fables_
|
||
|
||
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
||
|
||
DEAD PRESiDENTS WITH A SiCKLY PALLOR
|
||
by Captain Moonlight
|
||
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Labor, n. One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
|
||
--Ambrose Bierce, _The Devil's Dictionary_
|
||
|
||
When we were young we really didn't understand what it was. Mom and Dad
|
||
went out to something called 'work' and brought it home. But we knew it must
|
||
be good--with it we got food and clothes and toys and candy and all other good
|
||
things. But they never really told us where it was from.
|
||
|
||
When we were a little older--in our 'teens--we realized where it really
|
||
came from. We finally saw the blood caked on it, the blood which would never
|
||
come off, the blood of millions. We saw that whenever we got some of it,
|
||
someone else got it taken away from them. We went to the city and saw what it
|
||
did, who it affected--the beggars, the pan-handlers, the street-corner vendors.
|
||
We cried out in indignation, we shouted, yet we did nothing.
|
||
|
||
When we were still older, we began to become blind again to the blood
|
||
caked on it. Perhaps we had just imagined it. We saw what it could get us,
|
||
what our parents tried to get it for. Sure, to get it we gave up a few
|
||
things--the right to read some texts which were against our new philosophy, to
|
||
think certain ways about our situation and that of others, to meet in certain
|
||
places, to discuss some things, but, most importantly, the precious Time which
|
||
we could have spent with our children--that Time being the one thing we can
|
||
never replenish, when we could have taught our children right from wrong,
|
||
rather than what the establishment wanted them to think was right and wrong,
|
||
and perhaps to see the blood-spots which they were yet to innocent to see.
|
||
Though it really meant nothing on its own, a piece of paper with a cheap
|
||
portrait on it, we all believed it to be something, so it was. We killed for
|
||
it--or, more likely, we sent our friends and our children who were just
|
||
beginning to see the blood-spots out to kill for it. We saw the awesome power
|
||
it gave us over People--their bodies, their Minds, their very Souls. So we
|
||
made ourselves believe what they told us--it was that blessed thing called
|
||
'Success', not murder, that gave it to us.
|
||
|
||
When we were still older, we saw what we had done. After we had dropped
|
||
the bombs, after we had noticed we had fewer friends, and fewer children, after
|
||
they had all gone off to get us money, and had come back on platters, we began
|
||
to see the blood come back--only this time we saw the faces of who it was--it
|
||
was Bob, and Jeremy, and Betty, and Sue, and we saw them screaming from the
|
||
portrait, not of Washington, not of Jefferson, but of those we knew, shouting
|
||
at us, "We died at Such-A-Place, and you sent us," screaming with mute lips,
|
||
laying dead under a stone, yelling at us from a wall of black granite, and
|
||
those who did come back, minus a bit here and there, a leg, or an eye, or a
|
||
hand, living on the same streets where we had seen the others those long years
|
||
ago. We tried to get back that Innocence which we had lost, without realizing
|
||
that Innocence, once lost, can never be regained. We tried to tell our
|
||
children, to show them our mistake lest they make the same, but they had
|
||
already entered the cycle, already sent their friends and children off to war,
|
||
already gone blind to the blood-spots which we saw so readily, trying to teach
|
||
that lesson we should have taught them in their childhood, not realizing they
|
||
would grow up so soon, to be just like us. Then they put us in put us in a
|
||
home, as we had our parents, and they their parents before us. And after that
|
||
there was nothing to do but sit in a corner and see the dead battalions
|
||
marching past us, trying to call them back, as they cursed our stupidity--and
|
||
their own. Then we died, murmuring like the sea, questioning 'Why, why, why?'
|
||
and watching the world burn, set on fire by that arsonist we call 'Money'.
|
||
|
||
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
||
|
||
...Life as it is. I have lived for over forty years and I have seen life,
|
||
as it is. Pain, misery, cruelty beyond belief. I've heard all the voices of
|
||
God's noblest creature. Moans from bundles of filth in the streets. I've
|
||
been a soldier and a slave. I've seen my comrades fall in battle or die more
|
||
slowly under the lash in Africa. I've held them at the last moment. These
|
||
were men who saw life, as it is. And they died despairing. No glory, no bray
|
||
of last words, only their eyes filled with confusion, questioning why. I do
|
||
not think they were asking why they were dying, but why they had ever lived.
|
||
And life itself seems lunatic who knows where madness lies. Perhaps to be too
|
||
practical is madness, to surrender dreams, this may be madness. To seek
|
||
treasure where there is only trash--Too much sanity may be madness! And
|
||
maddest of all, to see life as it is, and not as it should be.
|
||
|
||
--Joe Darion and Dale Wasserman, "Man of La Mancha"
|
||
|
||
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
||
|
||
TiDBiTS OF PHiLOSOPHY
|
||
by Nomad
|
||
|
||
|
||
THE CYCLE
|
||
|
||
The cycle you may ask is part of Nature, the ever turning wheel. The
|
||
saying "What goes around comes around" explains it a little, but not fully.
|
||
Don't think I'm going to, because I can't. First we'll look at it in a low
|
||
level stage and the increase, alright? The human body is a good choice. We're
|
||
born full of energy and hype. We grow older and give birth to a child, which
|
||
completes the cycle. On even a simpler note, animals are born, they grow,
|
||
develop, give birth, die, and give their body to the ground. Now to the larger
|
||
scope. The universe is created. The cycle of life and death, good and evil.
|
||
There can't be one without the other, no good without evil, no life without
|
||
death. So you see the cycle can't be stopped: you can stall, but not stop
|
||
it. The cycle will still be going when we're all dead and decayed, so live
|
||
with it.
|
||
|
||
|
||
END
|
||
|
||
The two men stood staring at each other sizing themselves up. All around
|
||
them chaos was roaming. Fires spread, destroying everything they came to.
|
||
Floods drowned the once great cities of mankind. Winds brought down the
|
||
largest mountains. Earth swallowed cities that the other elements couldn't
|
||
get to. As all this happened the madman that started it stood in front of me
|
||
laughing. He was actually having joy from wreaking so much havoc. But I was
|
||
here to stop him; kill him even if I must die. I have come to stop and kill
|
||
the man the prophecies said would end the earth.
|
||
|
||
|
||
HERO
|
||
|
||
Who wants to be a Hero? I mean a real Hero, someone who is willing to
|
||
sacrifice everything for the right thing. A Hero will risk his happiness to
|
||
allow others to be happy. A Hero will give up his love to allow others to
|
||
love. The Hero is very different from most men. Most men are selfish, they
|
||
take and won't give. Most men are cowards when it comes down to it. A Hero
|
||
is a man who would let others take credit for an accomplishment. A Hero will
|
||
try and not fight, but they feel the fire and anger eating away at them,
|
||
begging, howling to be let out. But a Hero won't let it. A Hero is someone
|
||
who would give up his one life to save a million. Or even give his one life
|
||
and soul to save someone weaker or in need to live. A Hero knows this so he
|
||
walks a step behind and a step away, always watching and protecting those who
|
||
don't know that they're in danger, people who don't know that there is someone
|
||
who cares and protects them. A Hero is a loner, always in need of caring and
|
||
love but really never getting it. So I ask again: Who wants to be a Hero? I
|
||
do.
|
||
|
||
|
||
RELiGiON
|
||
|
||
I don't look at religion the same as others. I see religion as something
|
||
private. Why go to a temple when there is a temple in your heart and mind?
|
||
Also, the idea of a god that is all good and has no evil makes no sense. For
|
||
one, good and evil are abstract terms. Good and evil are determined by each
|
||
individual. When I hear that Satan is the enemy of God I think of two
|
||
possibilities. One, God and Satan are of the same coin, one on each side, the
|
||
same person. And two, that they're partners, neither evil or good, but
|
||
neutral, watching over man.
|
||
|
||
But as I will always say, man is supposedly a thinking creature, so let
|
||
your mind be free and think. Don't be a sheep, be a shepherd. Believe in what
|
||
you want.
|
||
|
||
|
||
SHEPHERD
|
||
|
||
In days of old, when sheep herding was still a good job, the Christian
|
||
belief teachers used shepherding as an example of how God was. Not directly
|
||
involved, but was there to guide if he needed to. Well, times have come and
|
||
gone, and they have certainly changed. Now, I wonder if our shepherd is still
|
||
with us. Has he abandoned us to let us wander where we want with no guidance?
|
||
Has he fallen asleep, and we've roamed away from him? Or is he testing us to
|
||
see if we still believe and honor him? What ever the reason the shepherd is
|
||
not doing his job, I hope he starts again soon.
|
||
|
||
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
||
|
||
nothing can stop me now
|
||
i don't care anymore
|
||
nothing can stop me now
|
||
i just don't care
|
||
-- Nine Inch Nails, "Piggy"
|
||
|
||
--SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB-SoB--
|
||
|
||
MARTYR OF THE GRUNGE-FOLK
|
||
by Kilgore Trout
|
||
|
||
Even here she sheathed in her harmless breast
|
||
A harmful knife, that hence her soul unsheathed:
|
||
That blow did bail it from the deep unrest
|
||
Of that polluted prison where it breathed:
|
||
Her contrite sighs unto the clouds bequeathed
|
||
Her winged sprite, and through her wounds did fry
|
||
Life's lasting date from cancell'd destiny.
|
||
|
||
--From "The Rape of Lucrere" by William Shakespeare
|
||
|
||
On Friday, April 8, the body of Kurt Cobain was found in his Seattle home.
|
||
He had taken a shotgun and blown his head off. He was 27. Just one out of
|
||
thirty thousand suicides that happen each year, except this one happened to a
|
||
man known to millions.
|
||
|
||
Cobain's death reeks of the late Sixties and early Seventies when the
|
||
music industry lost Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Jim Morrison, who were also
|
||
all 27 at the times of their deaths. Each was at the peak of his or her
|
||
career, and each had much more to contribute. In this midway point in the
|
||
Nineties, are we ushering in a new era where our most talented artists come
|
||
to an untimely end?
|
||
|
||
But before that question can be answered, we must look at the causes of
|
||
suicide. Why *do* people kill themselves? What can be so painful to endure
|
||
that the only sanctity is death? The causes of suicide should be carefully
|
||
studied and analyzed, for therein lies the solution. Naturally, the end
|
||
result of a suicide is horribly predictable.
|
||
|
||
Albert Camus' THE MYTH OF SiSYPHUS opens, "There is but one truly serious
|
||
philosophical problem, and that is suicide." He goes on to ask the question,
|
||
"Is life worth living?" 30,000 people in America each year ask themselves that
|
||
question, and the answer they decide on is no. And for each of these people
|
||
who succeed in the cessation of his life, 15 others fail at the attempt. "You
|
||
can appreciate the importance of that reply," writes Camus, "for it will
|
||
prelude the definitive act."
|
||
|
||
The statement that Camus makes seems at first obvious and common sense.
|
||
But to the people who seriously consider the question, the decision is far
|
||
more complex than most realize. Most suicides are not performed on an
|
||
impulsive nature--a long period of contemplation usually passes before any
|
||
action is taken. Jerry Jacobs, author of ADOLESCENT SUiCiDE, agrees that,
|
||
"...it was not a particular incident in the adolescents' lives that led them
|
||
to attempt suicide; rather, the nature [and] number of events were the crucial
|
||
features." Jacobs goes on to say that such problems as broken homes, failed
|
||
romances, and relocation are just a few of these incidents that might trigger
|
||
suicide.
|
||
|
||
This is one of the prime reasons that so many people find it hard to
|
||
understand why someone so successful as Kurt Cobain could commit suicide.
|
||
There has always been a tendency to link suicide to mental disorder, and if
|
||
someone appeared to be normal and healthy, than he was. Cobain's public
|
||
persona, even through the allegations of heroin abuse and his overdose in Rome
|
||
a few months ago, seemed to portray him as happy, with a loving wife and
|
||
daughter. But a celebrity's image and his everyday reality are more often
|
||
than not two totally different things.
|
||
|
||
Cobain never wanted to be in the public eye as a full-blown rock star. He
|
||
hated MTV and its overproduced, superficial style. But with the release of
|
||
1991's album NEVERMiND and the hit single "Smells Like Teen Spirit," Kurt
|
||
Cobain and Nirvana became a rock icon, creating "grunge" and making way for
|
||
other Seattle acts like Soundgarden, Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains. The record
|
||
industry, for Cobain, represented greedy record executives who wanted to cash
|
||
in on the new sound, and he wanted none of it. While such mass exposure did
|
||
allow his music to reach an unimaginable number of people, it also attracted
|
||
poseurs and people ready to jump on the latest trend: people that Cobain
|
||
utterly despised. With their latest album, iN UTERO, the group had hoped to
|
||
alienate most of their audience, but instead they entered the Billboard charts
|
||
at number one. With all of this, coupled with press about his wife's alleged
|
||
use of heroin while pregnant and his own heroin use brought upon by severe
|
||
stomach pains, the music seemed to lose its fire for him, and the music was
|
||
what he lived for. As Cobain wrote in his suicide note, "I haven't felt
|
||
excitement in...creating music...for too many years now."
|
||
|
||
Many suicides contain the same symptoms as Cobain's. Depression, family
|
||
problems, and other factors are found in nearly all cases. The only difference
|
||
lies in Cobain's social status, and yet his suicide brought him back to a more
|
||
human level, for immortality is the blessing of stardom. His suicide was an
|
||
escape from the ever-present eye of the public, an attempt to escape the pain
|
||
of his life that had begun at such an early age. The sadly ironic fact remains
|
||
that his death brought his image to many more people than his music ever would
|
||
have done, and his final action etched his face and music in millions
|
||
everywhere.
|
||
|
||
His death does serve as an important message, at least in my mind.
|
||
Without sounding too preachy, it seems to me that the fame and fortune that
|
||
nearly everyone would like to have only caused him trouble, and the idea that
|
||
society's idea of success makes one happy have finally been utterly proven
|
||
false. It is a lesson not to be taken lightly, and maybe a few people will
|
||
learn to do things for what they believe in, like Cobain, instead of always
|
||
wanting something more.
|
||
|
||
|