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341 lines
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###### ###### ########## 33333
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( RAT! : Rebel Anarchistic Tendencies III )
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Ooohh. I feel good again. Before I start, I think I might just go down to
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a slum and tell all the people there is a recession coming.
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*** This file was created for the enjoyment of users of the CrossOver ***
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*** Bulletin Board and associate boards. ***
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Story By : Doc (Dr Who) & Avalon ..
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Editors : Avalon .. & Doc [ funny that! - Ed ]
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If you're offended, please come and then belt me up. I'm into bondage at the
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moment. Bring your whips, chains and egg-beaters for a great fun filled
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evening for the whole family! I'll invite Idi Amin, The Ayatollah, Deng
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Xiaoping and George Negus over too to give us a few tips.
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[The above is the author's poor attempt at a disclaimer. ie, if you don't like
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it, stiff bickies. Hopefully you can't sue us.-Ed.]
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Ring These Boards....
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--------------------------------
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CitiBank ......... 800-223-3317 US War Department ........ 401-841-3436
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Pentagon ......... 202-545-6706 US Defence Department .... 703-781-4531
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CIA Computer ..... 800-353-9801 The CrossOver BBS ........ 003-367-5816
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Janine's Search For Satisfaction.
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-----------------------------------
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A novel in three (and a bit more) chapters.
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Featuring ..
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Janine .......................... In Her First Leading Role.
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Night Stalker ................... As Her Boyfriend & Sysop.
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Lash Clone ...................... As Night Stalker's Best Mate.
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Crystal ......................... As Janine's Best Friend.
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Avalon .......................... As Janine's Love Child.
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Armour Byte ..................... As The Postman.
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Slash Aggro ..................... As Brigitte's Friend.
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Brigitte Lambert ................ As The Innocent Young Girl.
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Lance Link ...................... As King Dood-le.
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Bee Modem ....................... As Egghead's Underling.
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Egg Head ........................ As Bee Modem's Underling.
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Dr Who (a.k.a Doc) .............. As Himself (How boring ?! - Ed)
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Chapter One : One More Of Night Stalker's Secrets Is Revealled.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------
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"Janine, ", started Night Stalker, "I have something to tell you."
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Janine finished her message to Avalon on the board, and logged off.
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"Whatsup honey?" she said with a smile, and made herself comfortable in the
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sofa next to Night Stalker. Strangely, Night Stalker shifted a little in his
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seat, fumbled, shifted some more, fumbled a lot. Then started. And stopped.
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And started again.
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"Janine, I have something to tell you."
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Janine sat there, mouth open, still waiting for Night Stalker to actually
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say something intelligent. "Yes?", she asked, hoping this would bring something
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intelligible. Night Stalker was not usually like this, and Janine sensed
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something was not entirely hunky dory at the moment.
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"Janine. I'm gay." spurted Night Stalker.
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Janine laughed. She swung her head, focused on the little man next to
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her, and said.. "Get Serious."
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"No, Janine. Its true. I can't hold it back anymore. I can't. I'm
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sorry, Janine. But I can't.". Night Stalker was almost crying now. "You see,
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ever since HIM at the bbs meet, well, I.. I.. ". Night Stalker was stammering.
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It was obviously emotionally upsetting. But I must give him credit, its not
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all the time do you have to play the part of a self-styled stud turning
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homosexual.
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A knock on the door broke the scene like a fire alarm during a saonce.
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Janine, stunned, rose and answered the door. It was Lance Link.
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"Bye, Janine.", blubbered Night Stalker, and he walked out the
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door.Janine glared at Lance, Lance smiled sadistically.
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"Ahh ya poofta!", screamed Janine, and slammed the door on Lance. She
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started to cry as she heard their footsteps walking away, a car door open,
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slam, an engine start, as they roared away.
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Janine fell back into the grey sofa, and stared hopelessly at the
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enormous Swatch watch on the wall.
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Chapter Two : Janine Begins Her Search.
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---------------------------------------
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Several weeks passed. Try as she might, she could not seem to forget
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about Night Stalker but couldn't for the life of her work out why. Afterall he
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was gay...he could-I could have AIDS. These thoughts and more kept crossing
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her mind, nightmares ruled her sleep, unwanted daydreams her spare time. She
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needed something to fill the void left by Night Stalker but she had quickly
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found that a ******** was not the answer.
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One day, as Janine sat infront of the CrossOver, staring at D'Bridge,
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waiting for someone to logon, Lash Clone returned from two weeks imitating
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Rambo. Janine looked up from the monitor, bored without Night Stalker in her
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life, and sighed.. "Oh its you.."
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"Hi!", said the Adonis. Lash stood over six foot, wore just a pair of
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Hawaii shorts, and boasted sun-tanned muscles like balloons under pressure.
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Janine stared. Suddenly she realised there was something attractive about
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muscles. Especially lots of them. Night Stalker never had any, so she really
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hadn't paid attention to them before.
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"How long are you staying for?" enquired Janine.
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"Oh, not long.", grunted Lash, as he easily lifted twelve suit-cases of
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Hawaii shorts into his bedroom.
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"Lash..", began Janine, trying to get his attention.
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Lash Clone looked up. He was now doing push-ups on the floor with one
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hand.
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"Lash, have you got a ... a .you-know...girlfriend at the moment?"
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"Nah.", said Lash. "But I'm dating this chick I met at the gym the
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other day. Wadja ask?". Lash was now flexing muscles infront of a full length
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mirror.
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"Lash...do you find me.. sorta.. attractive in any way?" asked Janine,
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smiling and blinking between poses.
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Lash boxed with the wall, and quickly replied.."Why, yeah. Sure.". He
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bounced into his bedroom, wheeled out his tricycle, and said ..."Hey! I'll be
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back in a few hours. I'm off for my daily ride around the city. Hey! I feel so
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fit, I think I'll do it twice.".
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"You ready Crystal ?", he said as he walked out the door.
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"Ready when you are.", she replied.
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Off sped Lash and Crystal, leaving Janine with the dust and the farm.
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Chapter Three : The Uninvited Visitor.
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--------------------------------------
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Janine was getting desperate. She had now gone four weeks without
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relief. Being alone at the farm gave her little opportunity to meet men. Even
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that odd looking postman that came about once a month began to look marginally
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interesting only the posty didn't come often enough - according to local
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gossip. Unfortunately there were no milkmen anymore either; they had become a
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part of local myth which also said they only came early in the morning - if at
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all. There was knock on the door.
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Janine sprung to her feet, and rushed to open the door. Her heart was
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pounding, who could it be now?
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"Hi Janine. Is Night Stalker home?" asked a tall gangly person wearing
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a sweaty fibre jacket and riding shorts.
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Janine's heart sank. "Avalon, would you like to come (in) ?", she
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sighed.
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"Oh.. um..isn't he home?", Avalon asked. "I only came to work on the
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Crossover. It needs some new menus I've decided - perhaps some games - and how
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about a menu that lets you post mail to other users - and and and.." Avalon was
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now sitting infront of the computer, typing away. "And.. then I'll use
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localised machine code to sort the incoming fido mail from the remote
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connection, and transfer it using bit processing to somehow force the user to
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read all mail so that the user statistics board will look a lot better and I'm
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sure that the archives could do with a new menu perhaps also we should run one
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of Doc's great adventure games I've heard that his latest one is all about
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Love, Lust & How To Get Dumped By Kate Kennedy and then we could run tradewars
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along side this and incorporate the two with a low level assembler code which
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would scan all keys and play both games at once while it transfers mail and ...
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maybe I should dump the adventure, not being SYNproof [ not funny Avalon! - Ed]
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and.."
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Janine put a video on.
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Avalon had shut up, and typed away contentedly. The video started off
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simple enough. A few previews of "Fearless Fred's Home Movies", and then the
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credits. "Too much too soon - Brigitte Lambert's Life Story." was the title.
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Strange, Janine had never seen this one before. Perhaps it was one of Night
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Stalker's blue movies [that's a porno you ignoramus! -Ed] he played at bbs
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meets. She slid back into the sofa and waited intently.
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*RING* *RI-*
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Janine picked up the phone so quickly that the two cats sitting in her
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lap landed in the open fire and began to sizzle as their meows echoed through
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the house. [ you are sick Avalon! - Ed]
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"Hello ?", Janine whispered eagerly down the phone.
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"Erh hi, umm, err is Night Stalker there, I need to talk to him about
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my access on.."
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"Fu-- Bee Modem, how are you ?", asked Janine.
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"erh, umm, fine I think, just a tic I'll consult my multimeter.",
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plugging himself into it, pushing a few buttons and turning a few knobs he came
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up with the answer. "umm, err it says that I am not as well as I could be
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sorta thing."
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"What does it say ?", Janine demanded.
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"erh, umm, it says....erh umm that I am...err umm a ...err
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umm...virgin. ooooohhhh..that was great Egghead..err oops...umm"
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"huh?....oh....well goodbye", and with that Janine hung up.
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Returning to the movie, she watched the last of the credits rolled by.
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In typical fashion, the movie was a blue movie. As the movie dragged on, so
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did Janine's mouth fall open as she watched in awe at the things that the
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athletic Brigitte was able to perform.
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"oooohh", Janine uttered as she watched them do the 1069th position.
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Turning round, Avalon took a quick glimpse at the scene which had
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caused the reaction. "Oh that's nothing", he remarked, turning back to the
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Crossover.
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"What'd you mean that's nothing ?", asked the envious Janine.
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"Oh wait, you'll know the good bits when they come. I was her trainer
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for the movie, how else do you think she'd be able to make those moves ?"
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Janine began to think that if she could do some of those moves, Night
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Stalker would give up being gay.
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"Umm, could you show me how to do some of those moves ?"
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"Later...watch the movie first you might learn a few things."
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"But will you show me how to do them ?"
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"If you stop hassling, maybe then yes.", Avalon said with tone of
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annoyance in her voice. [uh oh was that a typo or .... -Ed]
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Disgruntled, Janine sat back in the sofa and watched the rest of the
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movie..
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[I don't believe this is happening! Janine is not stupid. - Ed]
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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"uuuuurrrggghhh", Brigitte moaned as Slash licked the cream from her
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thighs, which trembled with each lick.
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Slash deceided that Brigitte was finally ready, maneuvering into
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position, he found it quite easily.
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.....................[ C E N S O R E D ]....................
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[damn! -Ed]
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"What happened ?", said a voice from nowhere.
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"I think I came too soon.", sobbed Slash, looking at the motionless
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lump of flesh that was once Brigitte Lambert.
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"Oh well, at least she didn't live to be 18."
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"Yeah", replied Slash, "but shit was she good!"
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THE END
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Chapter Five : From Out Of Nowhere
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-------------------------------------
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"Rotten fucking male-chauvenist-sexist-pigs!", Janine exclaimed,
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throwing a shoe into the TV, blowing it and the multi-megabuck stero equipment
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up. "Try listening to Boy-George or Divine now Night Stalker!".
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Whirling around, she expected Avalon to be sitting at the Crossover.
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"oops", she whimpered as her other shoe blew up the monitor for the Crossover.
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"Where's the car keys ? I think its a bout time I..", she said to herself.
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"About time you what ?", demanded Doc, standing in the doorway to the
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kitchen, sharpening a few knives.
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"Err..never mind slave, get back to work NOW, I told you I wanted a
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full 6 course meal, with roast and salads for tonite!".
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"Yes mam, please forgive my insolence.", and with that Doc returned to
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the kitchen, still sharpening his knives.
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"Damn Avalon, walked out on me again! I swear next time I see him I
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will slit his throat! Too bad if he's an arsehole."
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[Later that night....]
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"Hi darling, I'm home", yelled a not too unfamiliar voice.
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"Night Stalker ?", Janine said from the bath.
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"yeah...where are you ?"
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"Taking a bath. Be careful not to trip--"
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*BANG!* *CRASH!*
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"trip on the power cord for the....oh never mind. What are you back
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for?", asked Janine.
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"What am I back for ?", repeated Night Stalker, "oh just this and that,
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you know, all the things I forgot to take the last time I left."
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"Get out you bastard!", said Janine, followed by half the water in th
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bath tub.
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"Only kidding", complained Night Stalker, as he started to take off his
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wet clothes. "The real reason I came back was for you."
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Blushing, Janine was lost for words for a moment. "But I thought you
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were gay and....what's going on Night Stalker?", asked a confused Janine.
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"Oh all that, ", stepping into the tub, "..was just to see how much you
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really liked me."
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- DA ENDTH -
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A few weeks later the happy couple were married in the Church Of FellowShip For
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Craig Bowen And Other Divine Gods, vows read by her holiness Cardinal Syn, and
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they lived happily ever after...
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[Don't you love happy endings too? - Ed]
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[If you are wondering where Chapter Four was then you were right for wondering.
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It is there but I couldn't decide where to put the heading so I left it
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out.-Ed.]
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Ye Olde Awards..
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----------------
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Lazy Bum Sysop Award.........................................Night Stalker
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(2 months down!!)
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Pet Care Award......................................................Janine
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Skeg Award.....................................................Slash Aggro
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Tri-athlete Award...............................................Lash Clone
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Snail Squasher's Award.......................................Fearless Fred
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Loozers Of The Month..............................................Keneniah
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(go ahead, lick my lollies!) The Stranger
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Movie Conousieur Award....................................Brigitte Lambert
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Editor Award........................................................Avalon
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(I told you not to release the bloody thing yet.)
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Gullible Award...................................................Eugene IP
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(Acid Man, are you really 37, married to Cool Charm, have a son called
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Masked Avenger and run Zen BBS with 15 lines? Wow!)
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YOURMOTHERNOTONLYSUCKSCOCKSINHELLANDBRAGSABOUTITATTHEBRIDGECLUBTHENEXTDATAND
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NOTONLYWALKSTHROUGHSHOPPINGCENTRESTRYINGOUTALLTHEKNOBSONTHEELECTRICALAPPLIANCES
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BUTALSOHASBEENSEENATTENDINGMASKEDAVENGERFUNDEDSATANWORSHIPRITUALSSOTHERE!
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A free Netcomm to the first person to decifer the above.
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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RAT3! - Rebel Anarchistic Tendencies. (Part III)
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NB: There was never a RAT2. It was never released and I don't know how the hell
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it got into the TZ file area.
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RAT! is the alternative to Anarchistic Tendencies for those who call The
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CrossOver BBS, and used to call The Bug Factory.
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Next issue..
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--------------
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There won't be another one.
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You might have a few rights, especially if you are carrying a sawn-off shot gun
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aimed at my head.
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cya
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