1160 lines
53 KiB
Plaintext
1160 lines
53 KiB
Plaintext
***** ***** ***** *****
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***** ***** ***** *****
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************* ************* ************* *************
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** *** ** ** *** ** ** *** ** ** *** **
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********* ********* ********* *********
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** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
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***** ***** ***** *****
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SBI-Submarine Pens Proudly Presents:
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####========================================================####
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THE PURPLE THUNDERBOLT OF SPODE VOL 3, 52
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####========================================================####
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"Two years and REPLIES TO: HailOtis@socpsy.sci.fau.edu
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still going strong"
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* PPPPPP U U RRRRRR PPPPPP SSSSSS
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*** P P U U R R P P S
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***** P P U U R R P P S
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******* PPPPPP U U RRRRRR PPPPPP SSSSS
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********* P U U R R P S
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*********** P U U R RR P S
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***** P UUUUU R R P SSSSSS
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*****
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*****
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*****
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*****
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* **** *
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*** *** ***
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**** * *****
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************************************
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****************************************
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************************************
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**** ***** *****
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*** ***** ***
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* ***** *
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*****
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*****
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*****
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*****
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*****
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***********
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*********
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*******
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*****
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***
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*
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WRITE TO: IGHF/955 Massachusetts Ave., Suite 209/Cambridge, Ma 02139
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Pope Jephe: jstevens@world.std.com
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Doc Simpson: scott@plearn.bitnet
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Subscriptions: HailOtis@socpsy.sci.fau.edu
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Back issues ftp from quartz.rutgers.edu in /pub/journals/purps
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####===================================================================####
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INTRO
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####===================================================================####
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Another intro, and I'm all shagged out from answering the Tilton question.
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Still I'll forge ahead I hope.
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This issue of Purps, late as usual, should have some interesting bits of
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Otisian knowledge, sad to say no real concrete answers like issue 50, but
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it should still entertain. We've got the next long awaited installment of
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Papal Ponderings along with a story from the archives of Doc Simpson.
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Progress is slowly being made on hardware here at Purps. We should have two
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nodes on the internet in a month or so. Right now we are toying with the
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idea of setting up a mud. Any suggestions or input on this would strongly
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be appreciated.
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For those of you who have been keeping track, the Otisian Directory should
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be out soon now. It might even be out now. Send the Pope a note and
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I'm sure he can fill you in. It's more than well worth getting.
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Also out is "The Unspeakable Oath" number 8/9 which is perhaps the best one
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to day. If you like H. P. Lovecraft or Call of Cthulhu you should see about
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getting yourself a copy. As a bonus, this issue has OTIS in it. Yes real
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honest to God Otis. It also has a lot of funny and serious stuff. Once I
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picked it up I couldn't put it down. It has one of the best letter's
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sections I've seen in a magazine and the word of Rev John are always
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entertaining and enlightening. Every time I pick up a copy of TUO I'm
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amazing with it. It bloomed out of nowhere and from the first issue, it
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just keeps getting better and better. (Yes this is a HIGHLY RECOMMEDED
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artifact to have.)Send mail to paganpub@aol.com and they give you info on
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obtaining a copy.
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Finally I've been being bombard by information about a Phn0rd list. See
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below for the plug on it.
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Again, thanks for all the submissions I've received. As I've told some of
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you, it may take an issue or two before they appear. Please keep them
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coming along. Without them Purps could up and die, or the reads could get
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1000 lines of Mal babbling to himself instead of quality material.
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####===================================================================####
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Phn0rd List
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1993 14:47:13 -0400
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From: "Phn0rdServer 2.03b" <phn0rd-request@STUDENT.UMASS.EDU>
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Subject: Phn0rdList.Help - Phn0rdWorx
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The Phn0rdServer 2.03b
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----------------------
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How-to-Use... How-to-Abuse... And How-to-Get-Keen-Stuff
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Welcome to the Phn0rdServer v2.03b! The Phn0rdServer can provide both
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you and your family with good, wholesome, bran-muffin knowledge, lore and
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entertainment. Here's how it works:
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You simply send mail to our special address:
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phn0rd-request@student.umass.edu
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Then, as the subject, enter one of our special Phn0rdWords. They're like
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buzzwords, but they actually do things! Following is a list of most currently
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available words... There may even be some secret ones. (Drum roll) But you'll
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have to discover those on your own. When sending commands in the subject,
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case is irrelevant, and you can't have more than one Phn0rdWord in a subject,
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because only one will work per subject line.
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Phn0rdWords:
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------------
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Bob An ASCII Image of J.R. "Bob" Dobb's face
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Bulletin Receive the latest Phn0rd Bulletin and Phn0rdNews Update
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Charter The Constitution of Phn0rd/UMass
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Events The Phn0rd Event Calendar/Update
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FAQ The Phn0rd Question and Answer straightlaced pseudo-FAQ
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Help This Selfsame help file!
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Info The Phn0rd "WordRant" propaganda sheet - Mail it everywhere!
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Memetics Memetics, a paper by J. Peter Vajk
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Penis "Untitled" by Random Tox - Known as "The Penis Story"
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Principia The _Principia Discordia_ by Malaclypse the Younger
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Subgenius The Subgenius Online Pamphlet
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Subscribe Subscribe to our *fine* international Phn0rd Mailing List
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Unsubscribe Unsubscribe from our too-bob-damn-good for you Mailing List
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####===================================================================####
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Hunting Fun
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Thu, 13 May 93 12:49:10 MDT
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From: eiverson@NMSU.Edu
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Date: Tue, 11 May 93 09:38:37 -0400
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From: Eric Haines <erich@eye.com>
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>From: clarinews@clarinet.com (UPI)
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PORTLAND, Ore. (UPI) -- Doctors at Portland's University Hospital
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said Wednesday an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is
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lucky to be alive, and will be released soon from the hospital.
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Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an
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initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous, in Grants
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Pass, Ore.
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A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow
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entered Roberts' right eye. Doctors said had the arrow gone 1 millimeter
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to the left, a major blood vessel would have cut and Roberts would have
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died instantly.
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Neurosurgeon Dr. Johnny Delashaw at the University Hospital in
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Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain, with the
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tip protruding at the rear of his skill, yet somehow managed to miss all
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major blood vessels.
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Delashaw also said had Robert tried to pull the arrow out on his own
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he surely would have killed himself.
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Roberts admitted afterwards he and his friends had been drinking that
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afternoon. Said Roberts, ``I feel so dumb about this.''
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No charges have been filed but the Josephine Coudistrict
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attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under investigation.
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####===================================================================####
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God Tested
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####===================================================================####
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From: Scott Dorsey <kludge@grissom.larc.nasa.gov>
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Subject: (n@Nd0) Re: TO ALL WHO KNOW HOW TO PRAY!!!!
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Date: 11 May 1993 13:46:27 GMT
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>>"Don't test the Lord your God"
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>> Holy Bible
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>>
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>Why not? Not to be a smartass, but what happens if you test God?
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>Does s/he refuse to comply? What?
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I tested God and I got:
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parameter symbol min max unit condition
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------------------------ ------ --- --- ---- -----------
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Transconductance gfs 500 uMHO Vds=20V
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Gate-Drain Breakdown Volt. BVgds 30 V Ig=1uA
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Saturation Drain Current Idss 0.2 1 mA Vds=20V
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Gate reverse current Igss 0.5 nA Vgs=20V
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Pinch off voltage Vp 0.3 1.5 V Id=10nA,Vds=20V
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Common source input Cap. Ciss 8 pF Vds=20V
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Common source reverse
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transfer capacitance Crss 3 pF Vds=20V
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Equivalent input noise Volt en 50 nV/sqrt(Hz) Vds=10V
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Vgs=0;F=10Hz
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Equiv. input noise current in 0.1 pA/sqrt(Hz) Vds=10V;
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Vgs=0;F=10Hz
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A little bit too much noise, but still fairly low leakage even by
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modern standards.
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--scott
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####===================================================================####
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A Letter
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Wed, 26 May 93 2:24:32 EST
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From: hiscdcj@lux.latrobe.edu.au
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To: jstevens@world.std.com
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Subject: from sysadmin: account overload, cpu shutdown tomorrow
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nahh, it's just me.
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>
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> > Can I have a copy of PURPS please? Pretty please? Pretty please with all
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> > that goes with it etc etc etc.
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>
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> OK. But only 'cause you said pretty please.
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Good. Grovelling has to get me somewhere....although it has worked
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pretty well with lecturers so far <hehehehe>
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> 1. Send a "Send me a back issue NOW, Damnit" message (or a message with those
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> words in it to:
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>
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> HailOtis@scopsy.sci.fau.edu
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Woo! Right, here it goes...........
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aww, have to quit the mailer. Bummer.
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Anyway, it'll be done Real Soon Now <pshaw!>
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> An organic list server named Mal3 will respond.
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cor!
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> I sent him a request,too. We should, together, be able to get a response.
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So we should send him a joint post? Is that possible? Ooohh, it's all
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too c-o-n-f-u-s-i-n-g....
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<Well, you DID say together. And I hardly know you! I want half of your
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furniture!>
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> MAL3 is Purp's current Editor in Chief.
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Gee!
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> 2. Of course Purps is only part of the VAST SHOW known as the OTISian
|
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> Faith, the true, correct religion and the only one for you run by yers
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> truly. Since you seem to be a follower of a wayward although related
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Well, the only TRUE follower here in Melbourne, if you ask me...
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> faith (Erisianism), better than the Subweenies and the best of the
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> alternatives but DON'T LET IT GO TO YR HEAD, you should BUY YOUR SALVATION
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Oh, I won't, there's not enough room.
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> NOW by sending most of yer money to:
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>
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> THE InterGalactic House of Fruitcakes (IGHF)
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> 955 Massachusetts Ave., Suite 209
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> Cambridge, MA 02139-9183
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Easily done: I'm a student! I'm broke! I'll send ALL of my cash to them.
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hehehe.
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> 3. Enclose a note with the above sum demanding to be enlightened. Claim
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> to have met me here, on the n'et, but BE EVASIVE IF CORNERED.
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Right, you'll be s-o-r-r-y- though.....
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> 4. Then HOLD ON TO YOUR HEAD. OTISianism can be a ROUGH RIDE for the
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> uninitiated. (We guarantee it, in fact, or DOUBLE NO MONEY BACK!)
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Yeah, I sent a copy of the issue you mailed me to a friend, and she said
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it was fun, but couldn't read it too often or she'd go mad.
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"That's the whole point" says I.
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> "Pope" Jephe I
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Wah! (getting sick of this)
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You too, hey?
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Pope Dwayne the, um, erm, am I the first? Couldn't be....
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hiscdcj@lux.latrobe.edu.au
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####===================================================================####
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Repent -- just in case
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####===================================================================####
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From: titan@sys6626.bison.mb.ca (Titanium Knight)
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Subject: ARTICLE: Repent -- just in case
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Date: Sat, 29 May 93 01:14:45 CST
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Friday, May 28, 1993
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Repent -- just in case
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From FP news services
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NEW YORK -- the next time you encounter a lone prophet with a sign
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saying, Repent -- The End Is Near, you might take it a little more
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seriously.
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Princetown University astrophysicist Richard Gott has calculated that
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there is a 95 per cent chance the human race could perish between 5,100 and
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7.8 million years from now. And in the worst-case scenario, the human race
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could vanish in as little as 12 years.
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"The people that have been warning that there might be some ecological
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disaster in the future that could cause a crash -- you should take these
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warnings quite seriously," he said. "We're not likely to be guaranteed a
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future that is vast compared with our past."
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The purely mathematical calculations, published today in the British
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scientific journal Nature, are bad news for trekkies, too. Gott calculated
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that if humans were ever going to roam the galaxy, the odds are they'd be
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doing it already.
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One implication of the findings is that we might want to encourage
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colonization of space, "not just explore and come back," Gott said. "If you
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establish a successful colony on another planet, you might enlarge our
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chances (of long-term survival) by a factor of two."
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Gott's findings are based on the assumption that most human beings live
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somewhere in the middle of the period of human existence. Only a very
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small minority of people live near the beginning of human existence. So
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the odds are we aren't among them.
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This kind of reasoning was first used by the Renaissance astronomer
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Nicolaus Copernicus in 1543, when he showed that Earth was not the centure
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of the universe. He was vilified by the Roman Catholic Church for doing
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so.
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"People like to think they're special. People are very upset when
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they find out otherwise," Gott said.
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####===================================================================####
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Human Cork
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####===================================================================####
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From: "P.Harris" <P.Harris@southampton.ac.uk>
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Date: Wed, 9 Jun 93 15:16:21 BST
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I first read about this guy in Viv Stanshall's "Sir Henry at Rawlinson End"
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and I thought he was fiction, but no ! He existed. One of Earth's unsung
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heroes. From The Daily Sport, tuesday june 8th.
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SECRET OF THE HUMAN CORK
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"Human Cork" Angelo Faticoni baffled doctors and swimmers alike by floating
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in water for up to 15 hours - with heavy iron, steel and lead weights strapped
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to his body.
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On one occasion, Faticoni amazed onlookers by swimming across New York City's
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Hudson River while strapped to a heavy metal chair.
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In another stunt, he swam through icy waters while sewn INSIDE a bag with a
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20lb cannonball tied to his legs.
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Wires
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Sceptics said Faticoni was a phoney who used hidden wires. But he was happy
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to co-operate fully with anyone who wanted to test his powers.
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A team of medical experts from Harvard University examined him as he floated
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for 15 hours with 20lbs of lead fixed to his body and they had to admit the
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feat was genuine.
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Church ministers declared that the Italian immigrant must be possessed by the
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Devil.
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Faticoni promised to reveal his secret after he retired.
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But when he died in 1931 at the age of 72, he was still performing - so his
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secret sank without trace.
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####===================================================================####
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Verb Names
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Fri, 11 Jun 93 15:58:04 EDT
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From: Telkner <R3JMT@VM1.CC.UAKRON.EDU>
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Subject: Purps Submission
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It is time once again to harvest the fruits of the intellectual and
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creative efforts of my immediate circle of friends. The gem this time,
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a list of verb names. Here are some of the more amusing ones:
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Paige Stu Sue Wade Blanche Rose Brook Pat Bud Ty Mark Marshal Carol
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Matt Bob Mike Carrie Di Don Chuck Dawn Tip DeForrest Doug Flo Ford
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Bea Wilt Barry Bill Russell Jimmy Sally Frank Harold Peg Phil Ralph
|
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Mary Skip Lance Buck Jack Neil Rob Wayne Will Barb Nick
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|
|
####===================================================================####
|
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Do lemurs like chocolate?
|
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####===================================================================####
|
|
From: "The Usenet Oracle" <oracle@cs.indiana.edu>
|
|
Subject: Re: Do lemurs like chocolate?
|
|
Date: Wed, 16 Jun 1993 13:47:35 GMT
|
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|
|
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
|
|
Your question was:
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|
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> Check this out: I drove my girlfriend home 2 nights ago, and as I was
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> leaving her place, something bolted across the street. It was far too late
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> at night for it to be a squirrel, too small to be a cat or dog, and the way
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> it ran eliminated the possibility of it being an opossum. Plus, two HUGE
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> red orbs reflected my headlights back at me.
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>
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> I thought, "Wait, did I just see...Nah."
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>
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> I slowed down to get a glimpse of where it went. It disappeared. It was
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> either in a bush right next to the street, or it went down into a sewer
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> drain at the curb. I thought, "Ahh, that explains it. It was just a raccoon".
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>
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> But I'm telling you, it was far too small to be a raccoon, and it held its
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> tail up above its head. And the thing was _fast_.
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>
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> I drove home thinking, "Man, that's a little too weird, even for me. Wait
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> until I tell the Oracle. Now I'm seeing them all over the place, I need
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> help."
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And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
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} "...Man, I need help," he finished typing, and pressed return just as one
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} scurried across the keyboard and stung him in the index finger. It was only a
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} small sting, but he screamed as if he were in excruciating pain, and shook his
|
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} hand violently and uncontrollably to try and alleviate it. He could see the
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} wound now glowing, pulsating in neon orange, and a network of thin, blue
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} diamond patterns was beginning to spread from the wound, first covering his
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} hand, then climbing slowly up his arm.
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}
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} He heard a low moan echo behind him, followed by the maniacal laugh of a fat
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} Southern man. He spun around in his chair to find a shadowy figure dancing the
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} Achy Breaky dance in his living room. His face was well-defined, but
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} inconstant, changing first to the likeness of Jimmy Carter, then Diana Ross,
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} then Walter Cronkite, then Montel Williams. "Wow," he said in amazement.
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} "Mushmelon. Frizzlefry."
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}
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} He looked down at his naked body to find himself covered in blue diamonds. He
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} started to cry, realizing how terrifying it would be if Lucky the Leprechaun
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} were to come by with an exact-O knife, seeking to cut him up and stick his
|
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} pieces into boxes of Lucky Charms. It so frightened his skin that it jumped off
|
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} his body, and danced in the living room with the shadowy figure (who was now
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} Kim Fields (Tootie from "The Facts of Life")). It was freaky: he was his skin
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} and his skeleton at the same time, seperate entities, and yet, unified and
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} singularly aware. His skeleton stood and took his skin by the hands, and they
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} chanted together, "Skin and Bones, Bones and Skin, within's without, without's
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} within!" Then, his skin jumped through his skeleton's ribcage, and began
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} poking about in his inner organs.
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}
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} The little creatures joined in the country line dancing, forming seventeen
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} perfect ranks of Tush-Pushing Red-Eyed Beasties. They danced together for
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} hours, until the music stopped. And then, in an angry rage, the beasties
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} swarmed him and crawled through his eye sockets and rib cage, devouring his
|
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} insides. This saddened him. He wished they could be friends. Moreover, he
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} wished the Oracle was here, so he could ask him why the beasties had such an
|
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} unnatural taste for human intestines. "He'd know," he tried to say out loud,
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} only to find they'd devoured his tongue.
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}
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} As if cued to do so, a blaze of green fire ripped through his living room,
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} the force of which threw him against the wall. A huge, hideous black-winged
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} creature stood before him, holding a flaming, strangely-runed book in his right
|
|
} hand. The man cringed in the corner in fear of this horrible visage, as it took
|
|
} a deep breath and began to speak.
|
|
}
|
|
} "TAKE...OFF...THE...NICOTINE...PATCH!!!"
|
|
}
|
|
} The sheer volume of his voice practically split his eardrums. He tightened in
|
|
} his fetal position.
|
|
}
|
|
} "I...SAID...TAKE...OFF...THE...OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE, HERE!"
|
|
}
|
|
} Suddenly, the beasties were gone, as was the shadowy dancing figure, leaving
|
|
} only the Usenet Oracle in his living room, holding a large brown patch in his
|
|
} left hand.
|
|
}
|
|
} "Sheesh, don't you read the papers, man? These things are downright dangerous!"
|
|
} he said.
|
|
}
|
|
} "Huh? Where am I? What?"
|
|
}
|
|
} "Look, if you want to quit smoking, the best way to do it is just quit, and
|
|
} endure the 5 days of hell-on-earth. Although I don't see why you should even
|
|
} bother. I'm not supposed to use my omnipotence to affect the mundane world, but
|
|
} just between you and me, you're going to get hit by a bus in 7 years. If I was
|
|
} you, I'd puff to my heart's content."
|
|
}
|
|
} "Are you...hey, what's going on, here?"
|
|
}
|
|
} "Tell you what. Go to bed, sleep off the confusion, and if you have any
|
|
} questions, write me in the morning. In the meantime, you owe the Oracle....this
|
|
} object d'art!" he said, picking up a glass egg from the nearby mantlepiece. He
|
|
} opened the door to the apartment, and left.
|
|
}
|
|
} The man stood up, and scratched his head. "Man, what a weird night!" he said.
|
|
} He reached to click the lamp off, and the lampshade, which had grown teeth
|
|
} when he wasn't looking, ate him.
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Inviso-Crypt(r) (fwd)
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
From: poier@sfu.ca (Skye Merlin Poier)
|
|
Subject: Inviso-Crypt(r) (fwd)
|
|
Date: Sat, 19 Jun 93 13:37:29 PDT
|
|
|
|
Date: 18 Jun 93 11:43:18 U
|
|
From: "Kent Hastings" <kent_hastings@qmail2.aero.org>
|
|
Subject: Inviso-Crypt(r)
|
|
|
|
Inviso-Crypt(r)
|
|
|
|
I'm proud to announce a new fuzzy-logic application that can access
|
|
sub-digital biticles. These vitalistic fractional bits were never
|
|
discovered before now because computer scientists are still clinging to a
|
|
rigid notion of Aristotelian "A or not-A" on-off binary logic.
|
|
|
|
It took a Fate magazine advertisement to inspire this scam, er-
|
|
breakthrough. One of my beta testers was delighted to find his bank account
|
|
dramatically compressed and his computer network rendered userless.
|
|
|
|
Here is a sample of the program's output:
|
|
!!! BEGIN INVISO-CRYPT(R) DATA BLOCK !!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
!!! END INVISO-CRYPT DATA BLOCK !!!
|
|
|
|
The preceding message may look like all spaces, but those 10 lines contain
|
|
over 100 megabytes of encrypted biticles. Inviso-Crypt(r) works on graphic
|
|
files, too. "+". That single character holds a 4-megabyte GIF image.
|
|
|
|
Nothing works like, well, uh - nothing ... to the naked eye, of course.
|
|
You've heard of Beethoven's "Emperor Concerto," this is nicknamed "The
|
|
Emperor's New Code" around our data center. Our recent advance in applied
|
|
cryptology works as described here or my name isn't Mr. Burns, oops, uh -
|
|
Mr. Snrub, a dedicated computer scientist working at, uh - a lab very far
|
|
away, on a chain of islands with affordable liability immunity and
|
|
anonymous trust business structures. That'll do. This software not only
|
|
does real time bit-slicing, it rolls virtual dice to generate random keys.
|
|
Yes, it slices, it dices, and it will decrypt your DNA and cure cancer,
|
|
colds, baldness, and all other ailments.
|
|
|
|
This program is so important that my lobbyists are "passing bills" through
|
|
Congress as you read this. (Ok Senator, I'm putting these bills on the
|
|
trash dumpster, and when I get back, I expect them to be hauled away. Don't
|
|
forget the free bar of soap to wash your hands of this whole affair. See, I
|
|
DO support clean government.)
|
|
|
|
Soon, Inviso-Crypt(r) will be the exclusive national standard. Why, my
|
|
payroll expenses have been amazingly smaller since I printed paychecks
|
|
using the Inviso-Cash(r) standard.
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Papal Ponderings
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Papal Ponderings # 7
|
|
Pope Jephe I, IGHF, 955 Massachusetts Ave. #209,
|
|
Cambridge, MA 02139-9183 USA
|
|
|
|
Bring Back the Brachiosaurus! This week, the Pope Ponders Openly on
|
|
Childhood, Dinosaurs, and Jurassic Park (since all of you will have
|
|
seen it by now)
|
|
|
|
Those of you who know me well knew this piece was inevitable. I have,
|
|
after all, an inordinate love of dinosaurs. Anyone who lived with me can
|
|
attest to the fact that I own a three foot high inflatable Tyrannosaurus
|
|
Rex, several models of dinosaur skeletons and other parts of their
|
|
anatomy[1], and (my personal favorite) a wall poster of a peaceful
|
|
Brachiosaurus grazing from a truck on a modern highway in Germany while
|
|
startled motorists look up in horror. Back when I was in high school, I
|
|
launched an unsuccessful attempt to legitimize (at least in the eyes of the
|
|
faculty) the Williamstonian Society for the Revival of Long Dead Species,
|
|
whose primary goal was the revival of extinct (or presumed extinct) and
|
|
fictitious animals. The Principal denied us the use of school equipment or
|
|
property for this purpose, but the group lived on regardless, ingenuity and
|
|
skill with a lock pick more than compensating for our banned status.[2]
|
|
|
|
Most people outgrow this stage of course, but I have always been one to put
|
|
a literal spin on the Carpenter's [4] proclamation that unless we "turn and
|
|
become like children" the kingdom will be denied us. Rev. Rhobb has said
|
|
on numerous occasions that youth is the only "guaranteed method escaping
|
|
mortality" [4] and Pope Cool's assertion (borrowed as it was) that he
|
|
"hoped to die before [he] got old", still strikes a chord in me.
|
|
|
|
After all, age is really an attitude, and aging is not at all the same
|
|
thing as getting old. I suspect, deeply, that it may be possible to age
|
|
several hundred years without getting a day older. The trick lies in
|
|
remaining always a child, keeping our eyes wide with wonder at the world
|
|
around us, and our senses overwhelmed each day with the glory of first
|
|
discovery. Truly I say to you, if the world is as fresh to you as it is to
|
|
a child, time will have no claim on you. I myself am now on my fifth
|
|
childhood.[5] Hail OTIS!
|
|
|
|
Anyway, whatever the reason, my obsession with dinosaurs remains. And, I
|
|
gather, by the success of "Jurassic Park", I am not alone in it. What is
|
|
it, anyway, that fascinates us so much about these long vanished creatures?
|
|
Not everyone can be as defiantly un-grownup as me, after all (if so there
|
|
would be no public accountants, lawyers, stockbrokers and other such
|
|
members of dubious value in our society-- Hail Soap!), so there must be
|
|
another explanation. The condition, after all, spreads beyond mere
|
|
mortals. Many OTISian texts reveal that OTIS and Spode both counted the
|
|
dinosaurs among their favorite creatures[6] (although the later also has a
|
|
fondness for that minuscule South American toad which lives on isolated
|
|
plateaus and curls itself into a ball to roll out of harm's way[7]).
|
|
|
|
OTIS him/herself is blunt as to why (s)he likes the dinosaurs so
|
|
much, (s)he finds them "a hell of a lot more interesting than human
|
|
beings". Human beings, OTIS notes, have never been known to grow to the
|
|
length of several city blocks, have brains in their buts, or do battle
|
|
with Moth Ra while the frightened populace of Tokyo looks on in horror.
|
|
|
|
"Frankly", one of OTIS' early letters to Barnard Hastaba reads, "the
|
|
dinosaurs were more peaceable, relaxed, in tune with the world than people
|
|
are. Until Spode fumbled and dropped the ball in that game of Anti-Matter
|
|
Hot Potato (bringing the reign of the dinosaurs to an abrupt and startling
|
|
end), they had managed to endure several hundred of thousands of years
|
|
without inventing a single form of pollutive technology, even one weapon of
|
|
mass destruction, or disco music; in short the things that most plague and,
|
|
in My eyes most condemn, the human race".
|
|
|
|
In short, the dinosaurs were children, willing to live the world without
|
|
exploiting it, uninterested in fanning hatred's fame to the point where
|
|
their race was in daily peril of disappearing utterly from the world. In
|
|
comparison human beings have screwed things up massively. Maybe it's
|
|
time to give the dinosaurs another chance. That, after all, was the
|
|
motto of our club way back in high school, "Bring back the Brachiosaurus!",
|
|
we shouted "Fight Evolution! Give the reptiles another
|
|
chance!" Amen, and Hail OTIS.
|
|
----------
|
|
Notes by "Bill" a House Scribe:
|
|
|
|
[1] You don't want to know.
|
|
|
|
[2] The Pope would never admit it, but the group was caught once having
|
|
broken onto school property. They had managed to "borrow" a three year old
|
|
elephant from a traveling circus, and were using school equipment to
|
|
compare its genetic structure with that found in freeze-dried Mastodon
|
|
meat (a sample of which they had also "borrowed" from a local college (the
|
|
Pope dodges questions about this research to this day, swearing up and
|
|
down that the idea was NOT to create a hybrid animal, and the legendary
|
|
"Williamstown Hairy Elephant", the subject of so much Fortean research
|
|
and discussion, whose remains were found behind the high school during
|
|
the Pope's senior year, had nothing to do with the group's activities).
|
|
|
|
When caught red handed, the Pope placed himself in front of the pachyderm,
|
|
arms outstretched and feet apart. "Elephant?", he is reported to have said
|
|
,feigning innocence "What elephant?"
|
|
|
|
[3] Jesus Christ.
|
|
|
|
[4] The Pope is being polite here since he was saying this long before
|
|
Rhobb (aka "Rev. Rhobb-- Screaming Prophet of OTIS Triumphant, one-time
|
|
heretic, but more recently one of the Pope's most ardent supporters)
|
|
picked up on it, although the idea, borrowed directly from the age-old belief
|
|
hat "the young are immortal" should probably be in the public domain anyway.
|
|
|
|
[5] Fourth, actually. HAIL OTIS!
|
|
|
|
|
|
[6] See OTIS 5:23, The Complete Writings of Adolph Jordan, and Pope Enzio
|
|
I's extended tract ion this very subject.
|
|
|
|
[7] Some people think to avoid enormous (compared to the toad at least)
|
|
hairy spiders which have been reported on the plateaus, although no spider
|
|
sighting has ever been confirmed. It's interesting to note that Sir
|
|
Author Colan Doyle wrote a very good book about these plateaus. He
|
|
claimed dinosaurs survived there well into the 19th century. No evidence
|
|
has been found to substantiate the claim.
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
The Tilton Question
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
From: poier@sfu.ca (Skye Merlin Poier)
|
|
Subject: Late night ponderings....
|
|
Date: Mon, 21 Jun 93 5:26:23 PDT
|
|
|
|
> Hmmm...
|
|
>
|
|
> Is there any relationship between OTIS (hail OTIS!) and the Rev. Robert
|
|
> Tilton? His "Success in Life" tele-preaching is _laden_ with, er, slack. (
|
|
> Is slack ok in OTISianism? If not, what is the appropriate substitute?
|
|
> Spackle perhaps? )
|
|
>
|
|
> hey, wait a minute! Robert can be shortened to... gasp... BoB !!!
|
|
>
|
|
> nah...
|
|
>
|
|
|
|
Ah yes, well these connections are often very hard to pin down really. As
|
|
the world becomes older and technology becomes more prevalent it's hard
|
|
to say if Rev. Tilton got hold of one of those out dated Otisian
|
|
operation manuals or if he's actually working for the powers that be. They
|
|
are always selling those at House of Blue Light White Elephant Sales. I know
|
|
at one time an enterprising do-it-yourselfer was buying them by the gross
|
|
to use as land fill.
|
|
|
|
Anyway, what this means is the this Tilton fellow could have obtained
|
|
one of these manuals, (which due to an oversight do contain some
|
|
really helpful money making schemes) and using a Xerox machine made enough
|
|
copies for his studio staff to use. Using this operations manual could give
|
|
Tilton the ability to make his Religion-o-rama broadcast seem to appear to
|
|
be Otisian inspired.
|
|
|
|
Also if Tilton was one of these so called "hip" preaches he no doubt caught
|
|
sight of the frophead media bombardment that took place on MTV (you know
|
|
that channel all cable companies include as filler so they don't have to
|
|
use that space for something important like CSPAN or the Sci-Fi channel.)
|
|
Doing a little research he could easily have begun to insert massive
|
|
amounts of so called slack into his show. Anyone who's not had their head
|
|
buried under a stone fez for a few thousand years knows how easy it is to
|
|
make something seem like slack. Scads of pink boys do it every day armed
|
|
with the trusty Xerox machine and now their computers (see this is where
|
|
the technology comes in.)
|
|
|
|
Okay so that's one possibility. Tilton is stealing ideas and using them on
|
|
his show to make money.
|
|
|
|
Second. Tilton works for Otis. This probably is not the case. For those of
|
|
you out there with satellite dishes, observe closely his satellite feeds.
|
|
Sometimes they are rather sloppy about editing during the breaks. At one
|
|
occasion it was witnessed that Tilton was wiping his sweating brow with
|
|
none other than a Papal yacht towel. How he came by this is a very good
|
|
question which no one seems to be able to answer. Looking in the official
|
|
guest book of the yacht, one sees that his name never appears. This
|
|
could mean nothing since we've had Chuck Wagon and Ben Dover as guest
|
|
several dozen times. Also it seems that several pages of the register were
|
|
obliterated by a divine thunder bolt. Oh course there is no room in this
|
|
answer to explain how this happened.
|
|
|
|
Okay, so we have Tilton here with a yacht towel. It's too confusing to
|
|
mean anything. Looking in the Otisian Temple employee register, we see no
|
|
mention of his name. We do seem to employ 500 people who's last name is
|
|
smith curiously enough.
|
|
|
|
A quick ask around of the church elders also reveals that no one will own
|
|
up to Tilton.
|
|
|
|
So what this boils down to is: If Tilton is working for Otis we don't know
|
|
about it. Still Otis as a divine being is more than allowed, by cosmic
|
|
custom, to "move in mysterious ways" like socks in a dryer.
|
|
|
|
Of course evidence against Tilton is all this Slack which in some Otisian
|
|
circles in not approved of.
|
|
|
|
So maybe Tilton is working for the B-B fellow. It's happened before. We
|
|
all know how vulnerable any human being is to B-B if they watch t.v. A
|
|
quick check to see if Tilton recently purchases aluminum siding or Amway
|
|
products would be a dead give away. Remember the T.V.is a tool of the
|
|
fropheads. The first divine messages were carried across the glowing
|
|
cathode ray tube.
|
|
|
|
Of course there is still on other possibility. He could be working for the
|
|
Zakinthians. They are great at pulling in the gullible and knocking the
|
|
props out from under those without a firm foundation in Otis. If you look
|
|
at the above text and note the confusion of clues and counter clues clearly
|
|
you can see a pattern forming. The Zakinthians tend to work this way,
|
|
especially when they have trouble focusing their mind control beams. This
|
|
could result from Tilton's use of an "invisible" hair piece, containing a
|
|
small quantity of aluminum.
|
|
|
|
Then there's always the big E. but we'll not bring here into the discussion
|
|
seeing as you did not mention her.
|
|
|
|
Still there's other things to look at here. Tilton is very close to
|
|
Piltdown. This brings to mind the Piltdown man of song and story. That
|
|
amazing stone man dug up from the body of mother earth which all claim to
|
|
be a fake. Or should I say they prefer to claim it a fake because it does
|
|
not scare them as much as admitting that the Bible was right when claiming
|
|
that giants lived on the earth.
|
|
|
|
Tilton also bring to mind the idea of Tilt in a pinball machine. Another
|
|
10,000 lines could be written here about the symbolism in the movie "Tommy"
|
|
or how the conversation to Otis is like a pin ball game.
|
|
|
|
Confused?
|
|
|
|
Good! Basically Tilton is a loose cannon. Watch him at your own risk. When
|
|
they pull the plug on the reality projector then you'll know the truth.
|
|
Life, besides being a way to collect donations for the gods, is a test. Often
|
|
times it resembles those tests they gave you in school which were designed
|
|
to keep you busy so you'd not carve your name in the desk.
|
|
|
|
Mal
|
|
|
|
> Skye
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Lost and Found
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Date: Thu, 24 Jun 93 12:01:42 MDT
|
|
From: iverson@NMSU.Edu
|
|
|
|
|
|
Virginia Woman Removes Man's Penis
|
|
|
|
Washington Post June 24, 1993
|
|
|
|
A 26-year-old Prince William County man whose wife cut off his penis
|
|
with a kitchen knife while he slept yesterday morning was reported in
|
|
satisfactory condition last night after 9 1/2 hours of surgery to
|
|
reattach the organ, officials said.
|
|
|
|
Authorities learned of the incident when the man showed up at the
|
|
Prince William Hospital about 5 a.m.. Police officers were dispatched
|
|
to his nearby apartment to search for the missing penis, but couldn't
|
|
find it. About the same time, the man's wife called the authorities
|
|
from a pay to say she had been raped, had fled the apartment "in a
|
|
panic," unknowingly taking the penis with her, and had thrown the
|
|
penis out the window of her car at Old Centreville Road and Maplewood
|
|
Drive, near the Manassas Park city line.
|
|
|
|
The penis was recovered at the intersection, packed in ice and
|
|
transported by fire and rescue personnel to the hospital, where the
|
|
surgical reattachment procedure began shortly after 6 a.m., said James
|
|
T. Sehn, a urologist who was called to the hospital and was one of the
|
|
two doctors who participated in the delicate operation.
|
|
|
|
Commonwealth's Attorney Paul B. Ebert said last night that the couple,
|
|
who were not identified, "had been experiencing considerable domestic
|
|
difficulty."
|
|
|
|
"Her bags were packed," Ebert said of the 24-year-old wife.
|
|
|
|
The woman told police that her husband had raped her shortly before
|
|
she cut off two-thirds of his penis. "After he went to sleep, she got
|
|
a kitchen knife," Ebert said.
|
|
|
|
A police spokesman said the woman was released after being treated as
|
|
a rape victim at the same hospital where husband was undergoing
|
|
surgery.
|
|
|
|
Police charged the woman last night with aggravated malicious
|
|
wounding, a felony that carries a maximum penalty of 40 years in jail.
|
|
Ebert said that police had been unable to interview the man, and that
|
|
no charges had been brought in connection with the woman's rape
|
|
allegation.
|
|
|
|
Former neighbors of the couple said the woman had often complained of
|
|
being beaten by her husband.
|
|
|
|
"He was just a kid, and she was caught in a terrible, terrible
|
|
situation," said a man who asked not to be identified. "She obviously
|
|
needed help," said another neighbor.
|
|
|
|
Penile reattachments, although not medically difficult, are rare.
|
|
"It's safe to say that fewer than 100 have ever been done," said
|
|
Charles B. Cuono, a professor of surgery at Yale School Of Medicine,
|
|
who would recall only three such surgeries there in 12 years.
|
|
|
|
The first penile reattachment was performed in Japan in the mid-1970s.
|
|
"In those days, we defined success as survival of the part," Cuono
|
|
said. "You put the penis back on and if it didn't turn black, it was a
|
|
success."
|
|
|
|
Doctors now examine urinary function, erectile ability and fertility
|
|
in determining success.
|
|
|
|
Reattaching a penis is technically easier than operating on a severed
|
|
fingertip, said Michael F. Angel, director of microsurgery at the
|
|
John's Hopkins School of Medicine. "The real challenge is to get it to
|
|
function."
|
|
|
|
In that regard, the "mechanism of amputation," in Cuono's words, is an
|
|
important factor. "In cases where it's a guillotine-type cut, the
|
|
success rate approaches 85 to 90 percent."
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Otis In Chicago
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
Date: Tue, 6 Jul 93 13:30:42 CDT
|
|
From: <hcresnic@midway.uchicago.edu>
|
|
To: jstevens@world.std.com
|
|
|
|
[ Stuff deleted for reasons of House Security]
|
|
|
|
The OTISian Directory is truly both enoyable and informative.
|
|
In that vein -- I have a story that I must relate.
|
|
|
|
On that secular holiday that falls on the fourth day of the
|
|
seventh month in this country, myself and some fellow-seekers made a
|
|
pilgrimage to that annual celebration and recreation of wartime
|
|
activities known as the "fireworks display" at Monroe Harbor (named
|
|
after the great statesman) in Grant Park (named after the great
|
|
general) in downtown Chicago (the name comes from a indian word
|
|
meaning "where the wild onions grow" or "the smelly place"). We camped
|
|
out at 6:30 just east of Buckingham Fountain (named after both the
|
|
guitarist for Fleetwod Mac and the inventor of the pen). Yea, verily,
|
|
we did eat of the fried chicken and drink of the Pepper of the Doctor.
|
|
And we did thus pass the time while watching many scantily clad women
|
|
and their metal-pumping boyfriends cruise the lake front. There then
|
|
were also boats trolling in the harbor (but no trolls harboring in the
|
|
boats) with names such as "Wise Guyz", full of the flower of this
|
|
generation drunk on firewater and mooning the people on shore. Quite a
|
|
site (and sight) for this novice Otisian.
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And after many hours had passed, and the sun had set behind
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the Prudential Building and the John Hancock Building (both named
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after Fred Building), the sky was set ablaze with the most wondrous
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display of burning fragments. And I thought to myself, "This would be
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the perfect place to shoot up a firework of both the Otisian symbol
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and the Great Fez." And so I made a plea for this to pass. But I was
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rejected by the bigwigs at the Chicago Park District, who dismissed me
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with such reckless abandon that I set a curse on the proceedings,
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which caused the scheduled taped accompaniment to the display to go
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seriously awry. Anyone who was there will tell you that in good faith
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this did come to pass. Next year they will pay more heed to me and the
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great Otisian symbol will become a permanent part of Chicago's main
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fireworks display.
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Pass this on to whomever you believe will benefit from it.
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hugh
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####===================================================================####
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Speech Recognition Mishaps
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Wed, 7 Jul 93 22:22:14 MDT
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From: iverson@NMSU.Edu
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Subject: Wacky Speech Recognition Mishaps
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Al Sicherman
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Minneapolis Star Tribune
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Sunday, June 13, 1993
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I am writing this down for you Gentle Reader, even as I speak
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As it tends to do, technology marches on. And it seems to be marching over
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me. I am dictating today's column into a device that changes my spoken
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words into typing on my computer.
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Yes, that's right, I am sitting in my chair, with my hands folded in front
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of me; I am speaking into a little headset microphone and words are
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appearing on a screen. Ain't science grand?
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At this point in today's column, I am correcting the frequent
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misunderstandings that arise between me and the machine so that what you
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are reading looks just fine.
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In fact, however, the rather darling computer program that is interpreting
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my deathless words is even now making a zillion incorrect guesses about
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what I am saying, most of which aren't even close. I should acknowledge
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that its second guess is quite often correct, but we aren't playing
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horseshoes here.
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The only reason you can make anything out of this is that I am correcting
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the machine as we go. To be fair, it is still in the process of learning
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my voice. It has only been listening to me for a solid month. Presumably
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after a lengthy exposure to my dulcet tones - say, 10 or 15 years - it
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would unerringly transcribe my every utterance. In the meantime, it's a
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little dicey.
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I should be gracious enough to say that the reason I am pulling up a
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microphone - instead of a keyboard or a typewriter or a linotype - is that
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my hands (not unlike my feet, my back, my knees, my esophagus and my head)
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are failing to perform up to minimal expectations, and my doctor has
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recommended that I wear strange-looking wrist bands and do what I can to
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minimize wrist strain from typing.
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All right, my choices are: Abandon what I laughingly call my profession in
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favor of something that doesn't use the hands, such as bubble-blowing or
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grape-stomping; ignore the doctor and go through the day with my wrists on
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fire, or spend my time dictating to a computer that thinks that when I say
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"require" I mean "retire."
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It's an easy decision. The company has brought in this dictation computer
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on a trial basis; five of us are trying it. (The worst of it is that
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chewing sounds confuse it, so I can no longer eat while I type.)
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OK, enough Mr. Nice Guy. Here, unedited, is how this device heard me
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recite a few familiar passages. I will correct the titles, but that's all:
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The Raven
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Once upon a midnight jury, well I powder, week and very,
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Over many a right and serious volume of forthcoming more -
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While I not, clearly next, suddenly their game a having,
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As of some one gently wrapping, rapid at my chamber your.
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"Kiss some Mr.," I mother, "having at my chamber or:
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Only this and nothing more."
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Coast the Reagan: "Everywhere."
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Lincoln's Gettysburg Address
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For store and 7 years ago our fathers wrote fourth on this content a
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new nation, embassy in liberty and education to the protozoan that all
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them are created people.
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Annabel Lee
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It was many and many the year uncle,
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In a keynote by the see,
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That a maiden there lived when you may no
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By the name of animal Lee.
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Preamble to the Constitution
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We, the people of the united space, In order to form a more perfect
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union, establish justice, injuring most family, provide for the ,
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defense, problem the general Walter, and severe the lessons of liberty
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to ourselves and or', to morning and establish this consideration for
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the united states of America.
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Eleanor Rigby
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Eleanor really picks up the race in the church
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Where a wedding as in
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Lives in a tree
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With at the window
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Wearing the face that she teeth in a jar by the your
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Who is it for?
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All the only people, where to they all, from?
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All a only people, where to they all, from?
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The Arrow and the Song
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I shot an bureau into the hair,
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It tell to earth, I new not where.
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Paul Revere's Ride
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Listen, by children, and you shall here
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Of the midnight by of call radiator.
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..
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Want, if by land, and to, if by see;
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And I on the opposite shore will be,
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Ready to wind and sound the along
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Through every Nelson says village and from.
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The Star Spangled Banner
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Old say can you see by the tongs early late,
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What so probably we pale at the college last cleaning,
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Whose broad strikes and great stores, through the parallels five
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Or the reference we watch were so talented string?
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And the rockets read letter, the follows bursting in air,
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A group through the night that our flight was still their;
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Go say does that star scheduled manner yet wave,
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Or the land of the free, and the call of the great?
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Though there are many more works of Enemy Lobster Although (whom you
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many know as Henry Wadsworth Longfellow), including The Religious
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Watchman (the Village Blacksmith), I think we should stop.
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Maybe another time I'll read aloud some complete garbage (passages
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from the Congressional Record; the lyrics of "Louie Louie," or the
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fine print on my credit-card bill) and see whether the computer turns
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it into Shakespeare.
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####===================================================================####
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Brow
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####===================================================================####
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Date: Wed, 30 Jun 93 20:17:03 CET
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From: SCOTT%VM.plearn.edu.pl@plearn.edu.pl
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The Secret of the Soup,
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or
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How Brow Became the God of Mindless Violence
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Long, long ago, when the earth was young and the Gods
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Themselves were but happy carefree teenagers, Brow was the God of
|
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Mindless Stupidity. He was so stupid that, although He was often
|
|
invited to parties so that He could be the butt end of jokes, no-
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one would live with him. Thus Brow had to mend His clothes,
|
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clean His house, and cook His food all alone.
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Brow's fly-sized brain was hardly up to these tasks. He
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held His clothes together with sticky tape and white glue. He
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cleaned His house with urine and feces. He boiled rocks and
|
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grass for His soup.
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But Spode, the God of Confusion, was an excellent cook and
|
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had a soft spot in His heart for Brow because He was such an
|
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excellent fall guy for His jokes. So Spode often had Brow over
|
|
for dinner.
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Now Spode made a special mushroom soup that He had learnt
|
|
from Reaf, the God of Mind-Altering Plants, which Brow was
|
|
extremely fond of. Brow always begged Spode to teach Him the
|
|
recipe of the delicious soup. However, Spode always told Brow
|
|
that there was no point in doing so as Brow would surely muck
|
|
things up.
|
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Finally, Spode appeared to relent and told Brow to come over
|
|
to His house that night where He would teach Brow the Secret of
|
|
the Soup. Before Brow arrived, Spode prepared two identical pots
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- one filled with the delicious mushroom soup and the other
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containing warm water and a few chopped up vegetables.
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When Brow knocked on the door Spode quickly put the warm
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water on the fire and led Brow into the kitchen. He explained
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that He had already added all the main ingredients to the water
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and that it had been boiling on the fire for two hours. However,
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the final Secret Ingredient that changed an ordinary soup into a
|
|
culinary masterpiece had yet to be added.
|
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To Brow's shock, Spode then dropped His trousers and
|
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swizzled His genitalia around in the warm water. Spode explained
|
|
that the sexual organs of Gods have an incomparable flavour that
|
|
not only made excellent soup but also, and here He gave a lewd
|
|
wink, was superb for convincing cute mortal chicks to give one
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|
head.
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Then, when Brow wasn't looking, Spode brought the other pot
|
|
of excellent mushroom soup into the dining room and They sat down
|
|
to an excellent meal. Brow, of course, couldn't wait to try this
|
|
Himself. The very next day He invited all the Gods to His home
|
|
for a meal of the best soup They had ever tasted.
|
|
That night all the Gods (who had been promised a fine show
|
|
by Spode) turned out for the party. With a great flourish, Brow
|
|
withdrew into the kitchen to add the Secret Ingredient. He
|
|
unfastened the sticky tape that held up his trousers and plopped
|
|
His genitalia right down into the boiling water.
|
|
When Brow burst out the kitchen clutching His crimson penis
|
|
and howling in pain the entire company of Gods were so shaken by
|
|
laughter that they lay on the floor panting for breath. For the
|
|
very first time anger crept into the minuscule brain of Brow and,
|
|
seeing as there wasn't much room in there in the first place,
|
|
shoved nearly everything else out. Brow went on a spree of
|
|
mindless violence and mayhem that has lasted to this day even
|
|
though Brow has long since forgotten why.
|
|
####===================================================================####
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Money Lenders
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|
####===================================================================####
|
|
>Date: Wed, 7 Jul 1993 21:23:09 -0400 (EDT)
|
|
>From: Jeffrey Stevens <jstevens@world.std.com>
|
|
>Subject: Re: "Man's Best Friend"
|
|
>To: "Rodney E. Griffith" <dm745@cleveland.Freenet.Edu>
|
|
>Cc: HailOtis <HailOtis@socpsy.sci.fau.edu>
|
|
>In-Reply-To: <9307070217.AA27323@pooh.INS.CWRU.Edu>
|
|
>Message-Id: <Pine.3.07.9307072106.A14914-a100000@world.std.com>
|
|
>Mime-Version: 1.0
|
|
>Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
|
|
>
|
|
>On Tue, 6 Jul 1993, Rodney E. Griffith wrote:
|
|
>
|
|
>> Evening. Are you there? Illuminet Press says there's a
|
|
>> conspiracy 'twixt aliens and the government (or like weasels)
|
|
>> to not only oppress this planet, but others.
|
|
>>
|
|
>> We're all headed for the big sleep. And I think I'm starting to
|
|
>> hear yawns.
|
|
>>
|
|
>> What is the Otisian word on thieves, money-changers and other
|
|
>> bothersome/dangerous haters in the temple? It's hard to make fun
|
|
>> of Nazis when they're in season.
|
|
>>
|
|
>I have been told I'm "not all there", but I think I am.
|
|
>
|
|
>Money lenders are "ok", AS LONG AS WE GET OUR CUT!
|
|
>
|
|
|
|
Ah yes, once again Otis does save us from the sin of usuary (but not from
|
|
bad spelling). The way the system works, as I understand it is Otis takes
|
|
all the interest while the loaner just collects the principle. This way us
|
|
poor mortals avoid the dreaded sin of usuary.
|
|
|
|
You will notice that interest rates have dropped a might since Otis really
|
|
began to flourish in this modern times. Because Otis has more eager beaver
|
|
donators she does not have to rely on his age old method of collecting
|
|
money.
|
|
|
|
Mal
|
|
|
|
>HAIL OTIS!
|
|
>
|
|
>PJI
|
|
>
|
|
>
|
|
>P.S.-=- I'll forward this to Mal3, since I'm sure many people will want to
|
|
>know our position on money lenders, including, but not limited to, the
|
|
>money lenders themselves.
|
|
>
|
|
>
|
|
####===================================================================####
|
|
THEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHE
|
|
####===================================================================####
|