626 lines
22 KiB
Plaintext
626 lines
22 KiB
Plaintext
[=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=]
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THiZ Iz IT!@#$@#$!@#$!@#$@#!$@#!$ PossItivl3 The LAST IssuE Of GNuPUD++!@#1@
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Ever!@#!@# Trade ON local WaREZ boards!@#!@# WOrTH 3x UploAD kreDIT!@#!##$
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HOT waREZ@!#$!@#$@ DooM k0mPatibLE!@#$!@#$ MOre@!#$@#$ AnsI wAreZ Itz ALL!@
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..
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.. GGGG N N U U PPPPP U U DDDDD
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... G G N N U U P P U U D D
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.... G NN N U U P P U U D D
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..... G N N N U U PPPP U U D D
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.... G GGG N N N U U PPP U U D D
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.... G GG N NN U UU P U UU D DD
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... G GGG N NN U UUU P U UUU D DDD
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... GGGGG N NNN UUUUUU P UUUUUU DDDDD
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..
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.. PuD Volume 4 Issue 1: The Underground Strikes Back.
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..
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...
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..."And damn it we are still better than you can
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....ever hope to be, honkies."
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......
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.......
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[=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=][-][=]
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In the past all puds began with a supra eleet opening. Usually a
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qoute and a diskr33t paragraph about what was on mine or nc's mind
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at the time when we write this dribble out. Bah. I think there is
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only one small thing can some up what PuD is all about ... a slight
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paraphrase of NWA. This iz what we feel about all the fuqin honkiez.
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"Real HOnkiez"
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Smackola like a hostage
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yo! you should have covered your mutherfuqin head like a ostr1ge
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keep it in the dirt cuz u iz a sucker
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put ur ass up high so I kan kick da motherfuqer
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dont try to hang ur little ballz
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cuz I'll put my foot so far up ur ass u'll get hemoroidz
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when you try to fuq with Roast
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I'll put 2 in ur ass and u will be shittin old toast
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Firzt come, firzt serve
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who everz got da nerve step up and get what u deserve
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from da word of a motherfuqin hip hop maniac, braniac
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so what u oughta do iz step da fuq back
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Now how long did u think ur tfile would last
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wit ur ass putting out wack shit that pazz
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Yo, be original ur shit iz sloppy
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get off da dick u motherfuqin carbon copy
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following da wordz, with many a stylez
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iz one of the reasons a honkey went 100 milez
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cheatin, and now beatin da crowd, I kept seein
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and weak motherfuqerz bitin off and dey kept eatin
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stylez, that kept em on da floor cuz da fuqerz
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were on warez boardz not gettin paid in full
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aint got da nerve to cuzz
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only reason honkiez picked up ur tfile, cuz dey thought was uz
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yo killin what I gotta kill, doing what I gotta do
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u dont care for me so who givez a fuq about u?
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u kant harm me, alarm me
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cuz were the generals in dis fuqin tf1le army
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the pizza underground, if u didnt know
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we blow 'Flo' n didnt move slow from da get go
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yo stylez we takin
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yo fuq dis shit mooga kick da breakin
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u kan run but u kant hide, u know were going to find ya
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cuz a group like pud iz onl3 2 stepz behind ya
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dont look bak cuz ur shakin and all skared
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some honkiez in plaid can be ur skariest nightmare
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So sleep wit da lightz on
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forget dat da fight iz on
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dont step on my motherfuqin style when u write somethin
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dont say were psycho, and den u just might go
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mentally fuqed up wit, when I let da writin flow
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All theze honkiez with a jibber-jabber
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but couldnt kill a fly wit a motherfuqin sledge hammer
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honkiez in plaid are out der
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but only becuz, yo, itz da shit we wear
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on my sisterfuqin dik
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but I am gonna luv it when u drop like a motherfuqin brick
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so yo step off go to bed, cuz if ur mislead
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u get a motherfuqin bullet in ur 4head
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White, the good, da bad, da ugly see
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a little streewize honkie u know me
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rollin wit some real honkiez playing for keepz
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but u motherfuqerz gno who run da streetz
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wit dat hard core tfile-ass shit
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Now how much harder kan another honkie git
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Try to be like uz, write like uz, drezz like uz
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ashes to ashes, bust to bust
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so honkie honkie honkie honkie honkie honkie pleaze
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since ur on da dik why dont u drop to ur kneez
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cuz Im a tfile reject datz out to kill
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NC, a honkie datz real
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Real honkiez, straight out da streets of alabama
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quick be gettin ur shit without a second thought
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and if ur ass get smoked
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itz my bullet u caught
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so if ur talkin shit about the honkiez in plaid
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bow down to the ford and da chevy hatz
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[...]
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###
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### Mail
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###
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Again in the once proud PuD tradition mail from a faithfull
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PuD favorite. The one, the only:
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From: John McAffee
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To: Baphomet my once proud love
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Dear Mister King:
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Baphomet where have you gone? It has been months since I have heard
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from you. Or for that matter your strong group of followers who used to bury
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things in my yard. Alas it has also been long since you have made a pass at
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my wife or even a lude remark about my busty young daughter who is maturing
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rather nicely. Mister King what happened? We used to be in constant contact.
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While I admit at first your mail bothered me, hell it made me want to rape,
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maim then kill you. The dead animals in my yard? Yes, yes they bothered me
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greatly but you should have seen my grass the next year. Man I was the envy
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of all my neighbors and if it hadn't been for the smell I would surely have
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been the toast of the whole block! But I digress...Mister King as much as I
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hate to admit it I sorta miss your mail...hell why lie know? Mister King I
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love you damn it. I refuse to lie any longer. I kept all those damn naked
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pictures you sent my wife and the videos too. I cherish them. I masturbate
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quite frequently to them. Why hide it any more. I JOHN MCAFFEE AM GAY. And I
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am not in the least bit afraid to admit it. Screw my wife [not litterly]. I
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want you. And ONLY you [well maybe my daughter too]. Baph come back to me
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together we can experience a love like no two men have ever felt before. We
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can get a little log cabin high up in the mountains and sit and write
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pathetic virus scanners on a tandy full multi-media system...ahh life would
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be oh so very wonderful...Baph please reply my life is so, so, so pointless
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without your hot ramming love. Come back...
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Waiting forever,
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John McAffee
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###
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### SnAcKMaZTeR TheIvIng by the BLT.
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###
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Lesson 16.
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In the past I the most incredible thief in the world have told
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you how to steal various household appliances. Such as toasters
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and, yes, even toaster ovens. But what if you want to remain a
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thief who is up on the times, a thief that is full, one who is
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in vogue? Well the times are a changing but so is the modern
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toaster thief. I am sure you have all seen the wonderous god
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inspiring snackmaster commercials that have been coming on tv
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in the past few months. The snackmaster. It makes pies, snacks,
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and even meals. Take some bread slap it in and put some crap in
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between it then just let it cook. Ahhh nourishment. Now take
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your hands out of your crotch we got thievary to think about now.
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Now how, how, how, you ask does one steal one of these things?
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It is now common knowledge that the snackmaster can be bought at
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your local wal-mart or k-mart but lets be honest. They suck.
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Obviously inferior and it is often rumoured that they cause male
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impotence; something a modern toaster thief can do without. So
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how do you steal one from tv? Well it involves an old technique
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called 'carding'. 'Carding' is where one 'borrows' someone's
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credit card number and uses it to purchase items. A popular use of
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these numbers especially among 14 year old phreakers who try hard
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to impress all their friends is 1900 numbers but that in itself
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is a whole other lesson. So how does one get these credit card
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numbers? There are two methods of which I prefer the second. The
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first method is called social engineering. It is where you try
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to weazle the information out of someone usually over the telephone.
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This method simple invloves calling someone from your home phone
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and trying to get them to divulge a little information. Now I have
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heard rumours that say it is not good to call from your home phone.
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THOSE ARE COMPLETE LIES. As long as you hit the flash button 3times
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before you make a call the phone company can not trace your call! It
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is really good to use this technique to prank call the police and
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fire stations. Anyways back to the phone social enigineering. Below
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are a few examples:
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[click, click, click, dial]
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"Uhh hello..??"
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"Mr Goggins?"
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"Uhh yeah ... what do you want ... it is 3 am?"
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"Mr Goggins we have your daughter if you dont give us your credit
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card number we will kill her and return her to you in small boxes."
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"... I dont have a daughter"
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"Uhhh I meant your son."
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"... I am single ..."
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"Your cat?"
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"nope"
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"Dog?"
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"Nada"
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"Mr Goggins we know where you live, we will come and rape you."
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"Are you male?"
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"Uhhh yes."
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"Cool. I will be waiting."
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[click]
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As you can see the above exmaple failed. Why? Because you were not
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direct enough. Be direct it works.
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[click, click, click, dial]
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"....mmm hello..."
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"Mr Goggins?"
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"Look what the hell do you want this time?!?!"
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[click]
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Never call the same number again. Redial is your enemy.
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[click, click, click, dial]
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"hello?"
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"Mrs. Bunny?"
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"Yes this is Mrs. Bunny."
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"Mrs Bunny I am from the [insert local credit place]. We are calling
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to confirm some information we have on you, is your chest size in
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fact 33d?"
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"Uhhh...no it is not."
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"It isn't? Gosh is your social security number xxx-xx-xxxx?"
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"No."
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"Wow, it looks like our records are really bad so your mastercard
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number is not xxxxxxxxxxxx is it?"
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"No it is xxxxxxxxxxxxx."
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"Thank you very much Mrs. Bunny"
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[click]
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The above example workz every time!@#@ I have used it to get 5787685
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credit card numbers. It is divinity itself. Now on to the second way
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of getting credit card numbers. It is the way I prefer because it is
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simply much more direct and it even gets you a drop off site for all
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the neeto snackmasters you order. This plan can be considered much
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more difficult than the first one.
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Method 2. First stake out a well to do house. Make sure there are
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people home, as matter of fact make sure ALL family members are
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home. I find that affluent white streets are best for this. Why?
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Because you also get the personal satisfaction of gaking some damn
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whiteyz. Now you need to gather a large assortment of weapons, I
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prefer akia'z and glock-9's. Simply go into the house late at night
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and begin to blow the hell out of sleeping whiteyz. When they are
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all dead comb the house for credit cards. When you find them go
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downstairs and order your snackmasters with the address of the
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house you are at. Now all you have to do is wate for them to be
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brought to the house. Simple as pie. And since you ordered from
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thier phone it is almost untracable. Hell eat some food while you
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are there I doubt the homeowners will mind. Enjoy your stay. But
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most of all enjoy your new snackmaster. Life is good.
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###
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### Poetry. Oh My.
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###
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* BaPh Th3 UnDaUnTeD P03T
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A lot of people think of me as nothing more than a flat hate-monger
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who joys in the ruder and more crass things in life. While mostly
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true there is also a much deeper side to me. One that very few get
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to experience and what is that side? My poetic genius. Not to
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deprave your morons any more here is a sampler of what will be in my
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new book coming soon, _Poets_Are_Not_All_Fagz_.
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-----
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87/200: 3 minute poemz
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Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2
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I wrote this on the bus while some old guy felt up me.
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"Love"
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Oh my oh man
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My how masculan
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When u touch me there
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Oh so near my pubic hair
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I wonder if I can cantrol
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These feelings in my asshole
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Oh gee oh may
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will u eat my chocalate "wizway"
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Oh gee my plight
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hey wait a second your white
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Get the fuck away from me!
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-----
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91/200: crap
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Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2
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crap
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krap
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crappity
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krappity
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crap
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krap
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krap
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-----
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98/200: Counting.
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Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2
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Counting - a product endorsement.
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One
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Two
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Three
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Four
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Five
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Six
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Drink Pepsi
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Seven
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Eight
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Ten
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Nine
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It makes you stupid.
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-----
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102/200: Money.
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Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2
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Bob had a dollar
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Bob was rich
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in his own way
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-----
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113/200: Velcro.
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Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2
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John was a tragic man.
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His wife died when he was 37.
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Who knows if she went to heaven?
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Bob had a dollar.
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Bab was rich
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in his own way
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John had no velcro
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they got together
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now both are happy
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velcro
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-----
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115/200: Death.
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Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2
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Joy
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Laughter
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Smiles
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Sun
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Opposite
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-----
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122/200: Mouse.
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Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2
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Mouse
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Squeek
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Eeek
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Squash
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Death
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-----
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135/200: Bob's story.
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Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2
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Bob was born an only child.
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Bob died some 67 years later.
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There is nothing important to tell.
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For Bob was like most people, wasted
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opportunities and a wasted life.
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-----
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147/200: Death of a Used Tile Salesman.
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Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2
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*BANG*
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-----
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[ Here is a contribution that was deemed worthy of PuD]
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157/200: an elite poem.
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Name: Necrocixelsyd #26 @2
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d00d.
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it was c00l when I haked that sistem
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it won't be l@me agin.
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Necrocixelsyd
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-----
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171/200: CreATiVE WriTInG
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Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2
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Blam bloom blamp
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The old man busted the hell out of the tramp
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She cried, like a good tramp should
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He pried at her soul just because he could.
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She was morally bankrupt, he was rich being despair
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Every so slowly they became a pair
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He payed her money
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she did him
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it was all quite funny
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they made a move about him
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"pretty" llama walkin down the street
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"pretty" llama the kind I would to eat
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your mu bonita, and pretty too
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Nobody stir fries like you do...
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[Parts sorta stolen from pud_1_14]
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-----
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185/200: A ditch
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Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2
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Dont dig a dictch
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Your brother is my bitch.
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This may be offensive.
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So go kill your self.
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-----
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189/200: krap
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Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2
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I love you
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you love me
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lets make one big happy family
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I get the young daughters
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you get the sons
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together well have sex with the young-uns
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-----
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194/200: Death is a many colored whore.
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Name: Baphomet The Limbo King #86 @2
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Blue
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Green
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Violet
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Whore
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Red
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Velvet
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Death
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Black
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Gray
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Purity is evil
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DIE YOU WHITE HONKEY SKUM
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-----
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###
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### Another, yes quit whining, history of PuD.
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###
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[ This is the real and honest truth behind all of PuD as best as I can
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remember it. -baph ]
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It was a rainy stormy night. The wind was high. And the stench of sweaty
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llamas was high in the air. Kerry looked over his proud llama lover and
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thought how wonderful the world was; what bliss he was in; life was good.
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Kerry was happy. He tipped his straw hat and set off to make him and his
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queen llama some pizze. Kerry didn't know. The llama was pregnant. Kerry
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worked hard on his pizze, "It was good and cheap!" all the while not hearing
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the pitter patter of little feds coming to take him away. The windows burst
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open and the walls came tumbling down. The feds had him. He time was up.
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The pizza layed there...unfinished...uncooked...waiting. And so it was for 4
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years. Until kerry's own son, mc-llamashoniquea found the pizza in it's
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pathetic state. He ate it. He got gas and died. At that same time I was
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born. In a small hospital in Finland. Fuck, everyone knew I was elite from
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the second I was out of the womb. Maybe it was my constant uttering of
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"du0d@$!@#$" or the way I slapped the hell out of the doctor when he touched
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me in that special place. I lived a happy peacefull live in Finland hiding
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away with my new found llama love, Teka. Pure llamarian divinity. God she
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ruled. Somewhere along here NC was born...I think in the back of a chevy
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although it may have been a buick, but he dies later on so who really cares
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right? Anyways after being deported from Finland I found myself stuck in the
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ultra layme state of Alabama where I cried and sighed about losing my love
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Teka. They shot her and ate her. I would later kill those damn honkies but
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that is another story in itself. So here I was in the ultra layme capital of
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the south when I thought "Jesus I rewl; I am just so much better than
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everyone else here." So I set out about proving it. I thought maybe I could
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accomplish this at first by showing love and attention on young tennis
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girls...err.uhhhh..yhea that almost worked. Then I met NC. He was like
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slapping this old lady around one day outside the mall. I, being the most
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noble gentleman intervened. NC quickly explained "ThE BItCH OweZ My monEY".
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So of course I had to jump in and help my fellow capitalist. We beat that
|
|
old lady down hard. She cried and even had the nerve to bleed on my damn
|
|
shoes. That alone cost her four teeth. Me and NC hooked up later on when we
|
|
were taking shots at school kids on a playground. NC was a damn good shot.
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|
He could nail a kid out of a slam-dunk everytime. I found it was much easier
|
|
to shoot them after they fell on the ground covering their heads. About this
|
|
time we met fred. We were robbing a local "Lee's chicken" and kidnapping
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|
HigHHAirED h0'z went this rather fat greasy nasty guy came up to us. With
|
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his first phrase, "Du0dZ I gOT some Y for SaLE" We knew he was elite. Fred
|
|
got in the car with us dragging his "daughter" along. We were living life
|
|
high and fast. Then the unthinkable happened. Nc got gakked. In the back
|
|
.... but hey he was like holding out on 5 dollars he owed me. So I shot
|
|
the damn bastard. Err uhhh yhea that's the story of PuD.
|
|
|
|
###
|
|
### Tis the season to kill white ass fat men...err no that was last season.
|
|
###
|
|
|
|
* Santa Loves Me.
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By: BApHoM3T ThE MiGHtY SaNTA SLaY3R
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|
|
|
It was a cold december night when I found out that santa loved me.
|
|
The supra eleet local PuD du0dz and I were out commiting our usual allotment
|
|
of k-spiffy ultra clean felonies when we happened to come across an
|
|
incredible amount of Christmas displays. To be perfectly honest like the
|
|
holiday all the displays sucked. But off in the far corner of this one porch
|
|
stood an object that made up for this morbid world. A 4 foot tall santa. But
|
|
not just any santa, a santa who stood proudly lighted with the warmth of
|
|
human love and tenderness. At once we realized that this abomination must be
|
|
destroyed.
|
|
"Du0D EyE Th1Nk W3 ShOuLd FuCKiN RaP3 SaNta," fred quickly said.
|
|
"Bah," I said as I began to beat the hell out of him. We were
|
|
quickly yanked apart by No Courier [well his ghost anywayz]. Kolbert Kid sat
|
|
in the front dazed and confused as usual obviously thinking about the pink
|
|
sweltery skin of his younger sister.
|
|
"0K Du0D DoEz SaNTa RuN A WaREz BoARD? CuZ..." fred began but was
|
|
promptly cut off as me and NC started to beat him. I wondered to myself how
|
|
fReD kept getting out of jail but what the hell it wasn't our fault. After a
|
|
few minutes we tired of beating on FrEd as he had passed out. We sat and
|
|
pondered a way to liberate this most noble santa from the evil dungeon in
|
|
which it was trapped.
|
|
"MosQueZ must be white," NC stated.
|
|
"Damn FuCKiN HonkEyZ," I added.
|
|
"uhhh NO COMMENT uhhh," suggested Kolbert Kid. Sizeing up the porch
|
|
we figured no more than 3 people would have to loose thier lifes for our
|
|
liberation of the santa. NC broke out his 9 while fReD checked the AK. fReD
|
|
began to chant his usual phrase as he licked his ak47 up and down...
|
|
"A to the K to the 4 to the 7 little honkeyz don't go to HeaV3n."
|
|
Fuck fReD was sick, how we ever got hooked up with him. KoLBeRT KiD drove the
|
|
car up into the yard as the cv joints on his car screeched. The doors flung
|
|
open as we launched out of the car ready in our hour of liberation. They cry
|
|
of "PuD" echoed out from all of us. FrEd launched his fat ass through the
|
|
the front window and NC starting shooting into the dining room at the
|
|
unsuspecting home owners. I lept over a fence and stumbled onto the porch.
|
|
The sounds of returned gunfire echoed high in the air as a little kid in the
|
|
house pulled out a colt and started shooting at NC. Stupid kid. FrED rounded
|
|
the corner from the living room into the dining room and with a quick
|
|
"ratta-tat-tat" all those damn honkeyz were on their backs. I unplugged the
|
|
santa as NC grabbed him by the neck. We were off. And santa was free. Santa
|
|
rode in the back with me and fReD as NC emptied his few remaining shots into
|
|
some old people who were out walking. The night was young but santa's hours
|
|
were numberd.
|
|
[To Be continued or Not]
|
|
|
|
###
|
|
### Submitted Stuph.
|
|
###
|
|
|
|
Has been cut out because I didn't feel like including it. Woop
|
|
woop playing god n stuph. Like damn I fuqin rewl.
|
|
|
|
###
|
|
### /usr/bin/more ~/poetry
|
|
###
|
|
|
|
* Mooga VI [Mooga gets a pimp]
|
|
|
|
Slap, whap went the sound of the pimps hand
|
|
Mooga pondered her stupidty
|
|
As the pimp smacked her again
|
|
If she hadnt been so upset at her own infertility
|
|
|
|
She remembered the days of old
|
|
swimming in the sea
|
|
She remembered being bold
|
|
and her once wonderous divinity
|
|
|
|
But now she was fat
|
|
Like a whale should be
|
|
About herself? she didnt give a crap
|
|
To make money? "A pimp is the only way for me"
|
|
|
|
Being a whore and a whale
|
|
mooga found out was rather tough
|
|
no longer was she free to sail
|
|
the seas and the waves which were rough
|
|
|
|
Her life was bleak
|
|
Her only thoughts meak
|
|
Jesus this really sucks
|
|
god damn do I need to fuck
|
|
|
|
A cow.
|
|
|
|
###
|
|
### Closing of all.
|
|
###
|
|
|
|
This pud is over. Suprise! If you would like to get in touch with
|
|
any of the once great pud people then all you have to do is get a
|
|
fuqin life. We don't want to talk to you; hear from you; even know
|
|
that pathetic vermin like you exist.
|
|
|
|
[q] Where can I ftp pud?
|
|
|
|
Unfortunatly there are still places that choose to waste disk space
|
|
with this dribble. If you would like a list of them then send mail
|
|
to root@prodigy.com Subject: XXX-GIRLS-under-11-pud-list. They will
|
|
thank you for it.
|
|
|
|
---
|
|
PuD is now over.
|
|
We are still the best.
|
|
You still suck.
|
|
And you guess it?
|
|
I fuqin rewl.
|
|
--
|
|
Unless you are born in finland you can't be finnish.
|