407 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
407 lines
15 KiB
Plaintext
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ÉÍÍÍÍ» ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ÉÍÍÍÍ»
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º º º³ Welcome to the .5 issues of PuD. Americas Favorite ³º º º
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ÌÍÍÍͼ º³ T/File. This Issue Was thrown together mostly by ³ÌÍÍÍͼ º
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º º º º³ Crowe. From Here on out, .5 issues will be done ³º º º º
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º º º º³ bye Myself and Hymie. We will do ever other issue. ³º º º º
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º º º º³ We are the captures of PuD. We are Gods.[one bird, ³º º º º
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º ÈÍÍͼ º³ one Kangaroo]. Welcome to PuD Vol. 3 Issue 7.5 . ³º ÈÍÍͼ º
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º ÉÍÍÍ͹³ "One Learns to itch where one can scratch." ³º ÉÍÍÍ͹
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º º º³ -----Ernest Bramah ³º º º
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ÈÍÍÍͼÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ÈÍÍÍͼ
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Welcome to PuD 3_7.5
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What's with the .5
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Well. Hymie and myself (The Crowe) have traken PuD hostage.
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Why? Why Not, We got bored.
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What do we want?
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We (the captures of PuD) would like, in return for PuD, the following
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four Items. We want them within the next 12 hours, or PuD .5 issues
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will continue. Thats right, bootleg copies of everyones favorite T/File.
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First: we want a locke of Talking girls hair.
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Second: we want Baphs Sign.
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Third: we want NC's Llami
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Fourth: We want Gumby to Deliver Pizza to us for free
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Hymie? Just what is a Hymie?
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Here is what he told me.
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From: Hymie #41 @1 VirtualNET
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Re: That durned user feedback thingy that I hate filling out
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Sigh. So, it's come to this, huh? Well, I'll fill it out. Sure, why
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not? Well, As you know, I'm Hymie. I'm kinda busy with skool right now, so
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I have not been able to fulfill my duties as official PuD taker-over. Wah.
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My hobbies include listening to Pink Floyd, eating stale Oreos, playing
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pinball and collecting dust bunnies. I love posting, but I hate joining subs
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that run an issue into the hground (i.e. abortion, creatoin vs. evolution,
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you know the type).
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Umm, I'll try anything once, well, almost anything. I guess it would
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depend on the person I was with and what I had been drinking at the time.
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Anyways.
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Hmm. I think that life in general sucks, lifted only by the occasional
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sight of some poor soul in a worse spot than you are. TAts all life really
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is. Just trying to find someone who's life sucks worse than yours. i suppose
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that's why I hang around baphomet and digital saint a lot.
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I'm intereested in just about anything, except the l0ser subs.
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Hmm. I can't think of anything bright nd wwty at the moment, so I'll
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just sign off
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With Goofy Grin
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Hymie
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=)
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/es
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Here is the truth.
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A Hymie is actually a 6 foot Invisible Kangaroo. Quit your damn
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Lying, LaMeR!
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PuD
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Well. What is PuD really. Have you Ever Read someones post and
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thought to yourself, what the hell, or read a post and noticed
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that it was full of inside jokes, words, and sayings that only
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the writer and thier friends would know. Well you know what PuD
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is. One big ongoing inside joke. Damn Otter.
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Tennis
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Have you ever just wanted to jump out on the court and stab someone?
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Me too.
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PUD Seinor Editors
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Sorry guys. But I have to do this. If you don't like it. Fuck you.
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If you do, fuck you very much. Hope it doesn't offend your great
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taste and sense of style, but
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Star Trek Rulz!
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Hacking BBS software
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If you want to hack into ANY, that is ANY BBS software, there is a
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simple method. PuD has tried it with EVERY known BBS software publically
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available. All you need do is login as the sysop. When it prompts you
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for a password just hit the arrow keys in this order. Up, down, up, down
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left,right,left, right, then a, then b, then CTL + ALT + DEL. That will
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give you FULL acess to DOS!!!!
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Dough Boy
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Dough Boy runs the most half-assed piece of shit BBS I have ever seen.
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Talk about LaMe, this sap is sad. Some of you know who I mean. Others
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are going HuH? Guess you had to be there, eh?
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User Comments
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Please send in user comments. We would love to put in what you have to
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say. The world would love to here from you. Experience the Achnaad.
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You don't have to beleive in us, we beleive in you.
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Flies
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I hate flies. No really, I hate flies.
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Elite
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If your looking for elite, K_RAD C00l files and BBS's then look
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no further. Call Sanitarium, The Files Demension, And Perfect Anarchy.
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Or if your real into it, Call prodigy.
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Why?
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Why not.
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PuD Senior Editors again
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þ AutoPosts?
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So what do you so with that fine feature of VBBS? Well you use them
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to tell people how much you enjoy thier company. Here's an example from
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one of the 400 hundred local VBBS's...
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ AutoPost ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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By: Baphomet the limbo king #12
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Damn you ALL SUCK. SOMEONE ON ANY BOARD can talk shit. You correct them and
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all the little fags start crying. Damn your all sad. Besides 4Dos, not dos 4.0
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you idiots, is the only way to go. Ohhh go the fuck back to your Qbasic.Exe
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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By: Suicidal #113
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There is nothing wrong with correcting people, just don't be an asshole about
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it! Asshole, you suck! As for fag, well, I don't think so. You're the one
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who's always hanging on Beanie's right hand side...Hmmmm as for QBasic, C rulz
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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By: NO COURiER #148
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Talk a little more mess there, C boy. Programs tend to compile better
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under C when the computer is turned ON. This can depend on whether or not
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you have electricity....
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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By: Vixen #150
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hi... I missed you guys....
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ[4]
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Ok. Good point. But I should point out that this has been edited.
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Appreantly not to make PuD look god (frankly thats impossible) but
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so that NO COURiER shows up instead of NC, which is his handle on Midian.
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Other than that it is correct, and takes up some space. Thanx PuD!
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Wang Dang Doodle
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Need I say more?
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Dr. Pepper
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Just how fucking stupid does those damn commercials have to get before
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they'll stop? Damn LaMe, I must say.
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Pepsi
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Clear Pepsi? Why? Was 7UP not bad enough for you? Do you need another
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blan soft drink. You could just dring perier water and eat your tofu
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and bean sprouts.
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T.V.
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While we are on the subject. Jay Leno Sux. Paul Schafer is an Idiot.
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31 is very mis-informed. MTV, well, no words can say how HIP they are,
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with their K_RAD BKTV jockey. Garth, Billy, and the rest of CMT, Fuck
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off, the world needs country like it needs more nuclear waste dumps.
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Nick, green slime is as good as you get. Fox, well, 50/50. Get rid of
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shows like Mamma's Fam and the other LaMe shows of that kind and we'll
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be ok. Channel 17, good god how desperate are we for another channel.
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Heini's BBQ on Jordan lane used to have one of the singers on that show
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play for 30 bucks a night on the weekend. Sad. No Really Sad. He got
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fired and is now begging for his job back, damn, get a job. Fishing and
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golf, what's the point. Tennis, stab them all. Oh, lets not forget bowl-
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ing. Home Shopping Club, damn, could not get any LaMeR. The weather
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channel, look outside every hour or so and you'll get a better idea of
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what the weather will be. And paid programs, well I don't think we need
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spray on hair, topsy tail, freeze dried trail mix, auri, Nordic Track
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gold, or any more fast money and weitht loss crap. And last but not least
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T.V. evangalists. I don't even have to explain this one, do I.
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Kicking a Dead Horse
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Elvis is dead people. Leave it alone. He took Marylyn, James, and bigfoot
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with him.
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LaMe
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Well, Beanie and Baphomet, LaMe is contagous. Star Trek Rulz.
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VBBS is GREAAAAAAAAAAAAAT. Lammi (plural) stink, hence the
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phraze Lami Dung. .COM files are K_Rad and FReD is C00L.
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Matrix Logins are K_Swass. Mr. Browndrawers Sux. Quick Basic
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Reaks, Pascal is GODS language, VBBS gets SUCK CPS rates.
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Cyberpunks are E.Z. targeqqqts. Brett is 15. Jose is 15.
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Steve is 15. If you disagree with Bap or NC, your LaMe.
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If you LIke VBBS your LaMe. If you are steve your LaMe. If
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You don't have a theme fruit your LaMe. If you have to ask
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Your LaMe. If you use elipsi (plural) your LaMe.....d00d.
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If your a VBBS SysOp with 0-3 Day WaReZ your Lame. If you
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trade WaReZ your Lame. If you don't know mooga and Roast,
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your LaMe. IF you have taken the time to read PuD, your
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LaMe. If you have more than one Handle, Your LaMe. Well?
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Are you LaMe. Geuss so, you had to ask. Maybe I'll write
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a LaMe QuIz....Nah...I am LaMe so I don't qualify...I am
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a VBBS SysOp. Bap or Beanman could do it....they're the
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experts on this Rare Desease, not doubt from experience.
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And for GOD's sake they're draggin DIG down with them. Lord
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help us all...free us from this plague of LaMeRs. Rid the
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world of all those FReD's and Brownies(who use High Bit
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characters for a handle,k00l d00d reqqqally). I guess I
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am done now.
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LaMeRs
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Ok. So I lied. Here's the Damn Quiz.
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Speaking of LaMe. Let us all take a deep breath. There now,
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We can procede. Relax, Clear your mind. Now get your thinking
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caps on and see how well your score stacks up agianst other
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LaMeRs. Remember no Talking during the test.
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1. Is your handle written in high bit ascii characters?
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2. Do you live to read K_RAD T/Files?
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3. Do you live to write K_RAD T/Files?
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4. Do you love 0-3 day WaReZ?
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5. Do you program in QuickBasic?
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6. Are you fluent in LS?
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7. Is your handle Satan's Mutt, Mr. Brownstone, or Brett?
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8. Do you read PUD?
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9. Do you like VBBS over WWiV. (I do)
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10. Are you A VBBS SysOp. (I am)
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If you answered yes to any of the above questions, your LaMe. Each
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question counts 10 points each. 0 being the best, 100 being LaMe as
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Hell.
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Baphomet and VBBS
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Well, the world knows Baph hates VBBS. But I have found, by accident
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mind you, that he loves Autoposts. He has use them to proclaim his
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feelings to all. He Loves to make sure that the world knows of his
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anger towards QB and his love of everone. On other BBS's[1] he has
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a usual set of posts.[2] As of late I have noticed, a great suprise
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to me, that he does not just post hate mail. He actually has friends.
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I know this will dissapoint you. But it is true. Here is some of his
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most recent autoposts.[3][4]
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By: Baphomet the limbo king #11
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I am so great that people hate me.
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-Real qoute d0udz!
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By: Baphomet the limbo king #11
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GEE I WISH A CERTAIN SYSOP WOULD FIX HIS HIGH SPEED MODEM.
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By: Baphomet the limbo king #11
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Sleep?!?!? Who needs it?
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Jesus I am so damn depraved.
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DAMN I NEED A WOMAN!@!#$@#$!@#$%#$^%#@%^$%^@$%^$%$%#$%@!!! <-Discomfort.
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From: Hymie #41 @1 VirtualNET
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Re: Couldn't get any worse, huh?
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In response to the Modem. FUCK YOU.
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No really.
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Hymie's Humor
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Well, how about this:
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I was walking down the street the other day when I saw this girl, right?
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Only she was blind. But I didn't know that until I told her that those
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sunglasses lloked stupid. But after I told her that, she took them off and
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showed me that she had no eyes. So, this kinda bummed me out, but other than
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the eye thing, she was pretty hot, so i asked her out and she said she wasn't
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doing anything, so she agreed. Then later that week, she called me upt to
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tell me that she couldn't go out cause she had gotten engaged and this pissed
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me off and I told her that the lst time I heard something that sucked so bad
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was when I talked to her momma on Governor's Drive, and then she atrated
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crying and she said that her momma worked as a prostitute so she could have
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an eye operation, but her mother died when this one guy (who was rumoured to
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have fathered a child at the age of two) shoved this red box down her throat
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and geez, this girl just went plain nuts.
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SOOOOOO, I went oer to her house and tried to cheer her up and I asked
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her if she wanted to play charades, not really meaning it, of course, but I
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guess it kind of pissed her off cause she sicked her eye dog on me and now my
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friends call me one nut.
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I guess this wouldn't be so bad, but when I got home, my favourite show,
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the kids in the hall, was just going off.
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Now, I ask you, could it get any worse than that?
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I thought not.
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WGG
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Hymie
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P6=)
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Response:
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Hymie is funny. No Really. Thats why he exists. That and PuD.
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Logoffs
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So. You don't like Matrix logoffs. You don't like being asked 1
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billion questions. You don't like version Numbers. So. Bite me.
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Sorry
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I had to get him back.
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The End.
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Thats all people. Get a life.
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Source of Qoutes
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[1] Lazy 8 BBS
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[2] Constant Ragging People and VBBS.
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[3] Posts on Stone Temple
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[4] Had to do it, so I could make phun of Baph's PuD's.
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Mail.
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Send Mail to the Captures of PuD and Beg for their Release.
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It won't help.
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Crowe 240@2506 WWIVNET or Call Stone Temple at 205-881-2554
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The New User PW is Docile.
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Hymie 84@2506 WWIVNET
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Senior Editors
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Baphomet the *.* 14@2506 WWIVNET
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NO COURiER 25@2506 WWIVNET
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ÉÍÍÍÍ» ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ÉÍÍÍÍ»
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º º º³ ³º º º
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ÌÍÍÍͼ º³"It Must Suck To be you." ³ÌÍÍÍͼ º
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º º º º³ ³º º º º
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º º º º³ ---Baphomet ³º º º º
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º º º º³ ³º º º º
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º ÈÍÍͼ º³ ³º ÈÍÍͼ º
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º ÉÍÍÍ͹³ ³º ÉÍÍÍ͹
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º º º³ ³º º º
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ÈÍÍÍͼÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ÈÍÍÍͼ
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End of the Damn File.
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