405 lines
19 KiB
Plaintext
405 lines
19 KiB
Plaintext
Pud issue 3:19 I think, but does it really matter? NO because I hate you.
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ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
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ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÂÂÄÄÄÄÂÄÄÂÂÄÄÙ
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³Special Upload Credit Issue!ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ÚÙÀ¿ ÚÁ¿ÚÙÀ¿Ú¿
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ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÙ À¿ÚÙ ÀÅ¿ ÀÅÙ
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ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁÄÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÁÄÄÄÄÁÁÄÄÄÁÁÄÄÁ
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/
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/
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/ ++
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°°°°°°° / +-----------------------------------+
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°°°° °°°° / ++ ++
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\ °°° °°°° / ²²² | |
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\ °°° °°° / ² | ++
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\ °°°° °°°° / ²² | ++
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\°°°° °°° / ²² ++ SUPER SPECIAL! UPLOAD ++
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°°°° °° / ² | CREDIT ISSUE! HAVING EVEN ++
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°°°° °°° / ²² ++ LESS SOCIAL WORTH THAN |
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°°°° °°°°/ ±±± ²² | THE NORMAL ISSUES OF PUD! ++
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°°°°°° °° / ±± ²² ++ BUT IT'S STILL k@WL TO UL +-+
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°°°°°°°°/ ±± ² ++ FOR CREDiT DU0DZ! ++
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°°°°°° / ±± ²² | ++
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°°°°°\/ ±±± ² | ++
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°°°°/\ ± ±± ² | ++
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°° / \ ±± ±± ² | ++
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°°/ \ ±± ±±± ² ++ |
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°° \±±±± ±± ²²² ++ BY: Baph, the f0Nt MasTeR! |
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°° ±±±± ±± ²²²² +-+ |
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/°° ±±±± ±±± ²²² ²² ++ ++
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/ °° ±±±±± ±±± ² ²²² | ++
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/ °° ±±±±± ±± ²² ²² + +----------+
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/ °° ±±±±±±± ²² ²² ++ ++
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/ °° ±±±±\ ² ²²²² ++ +-+
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/ °° \ ²² ²²² | +---------------+
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-1 \ ²²²²² ++--+
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3 9 \ ²²² |
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\
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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NEWZ BUlETTiNZ aND ZTUDFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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NEWZ! Pure Energy is kicked out o' PuD! Why, oh why was he finally
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thrown from our shimmering masses you ask? Well because Zer0 said
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so. That's right Zer0 the H3r0 the sysop, and the new leader of
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PuD, of our WHQ BBS kicked his 'PuNK azz' out. Why? Why you ask?
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Because according to Zer0 'Pre Energy' isn't a k@wl enough handEL
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to use. 0ther sw33ping changes are that Zer0 called fo S0mE NeW
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typ0graphy Styles...and I am so afraid of his masculinity that I
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had no choice but to comply...
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þ eSQUUEZ ME.
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So I was marveling at the ability to get hate mail on internet the
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other day when it suddenly struck me, hey this guy sitting next to
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me sucks. But then I realized that there was no one next to me, it
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was a mirror. So does this mean, I Baph, greatest being to ever
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walk on this rancid shitty-ass planet suck? Of course not. So it is
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obvious that my reflection sucks. So what does that mean? Well it
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simply means that this is whole bunch of utter nonsense that you
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for some unknown reason continue to read. What? Did you not read
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the title I said it had LESS value than the average PuD issue, which
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by the way is pretty pathetic to begin with, so less than pathetic
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would be pretty damn bad...and it is...so enjoy the rest of this
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issue if you can read it all.
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þ Why you should go to bed early.
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Ya know when you log onto boards after being up a really long time
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you can easily make the mistake of saying what is ever on your
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mind and well here is a shining example of one such case...
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Auto-Message written by BAPHOMET THE LIMBO KING on 7/15/93
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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Subject: I heard that...
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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ManDe Is DivIne!
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[Not sure if this is a fact or rumor but based on personal experience I
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would most likely qualify this as a rumor. Ya know the word colour is
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pretty-swell. What's even more swell is you are wasting your time
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reading this. Why? Because you don't know any better. In fact you might
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as well stop since there is nothing of any value anywhere in here. Not
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one single thing. Ok 1! I have found another mandy. She's dumb as hell
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and NC thinks she has vd but she has the kind of ass that if you were
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to wake up with your face in it in the morning you wouldn't mind. No
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sexism intended it's just that nice. If her middle initial is an M, I
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think I may be in love. AMF it is meant to be...So I think that this is
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by far the best auto-post ever and it gives all of you a chance to get
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an inner vision into my most tormentious soul. I think I made that word
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up. It seemed good at the time, but then again even life's most stupid
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plans seem very good at the time. I remeber a time when I went to call
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this girl and sing Lionell Richie's _Hello_, ya know the one that goes:
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Hello I just called to say I love you...Wellll I mis-dialed and ended up
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dialing my neighbors number and singing to thier daughter, who was quite
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attractive by the way. Nevertheless it was something that took me long
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to live down. Well seing how I have given you such a vision into my
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inner self I think I shall go now, just remember, love is great. But hey
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so is ice cream on a hot day, and it's a hell of a lot cheaper and
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doesn't leave nasty emotional scars... Sea ya, Baph...]
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þ <burp>
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Uhhh excuse me.
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þ Uhhh stuff about PuD.
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SO ya know PuD is dead. Yhea, yuh I know you are whining, again? Well
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yes it is. You see PuD dies for a good twenty days of every month. In
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fact it's a damn miracle that we still write any issues at all. What
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with NC counting change now and me becoming the head editor for Phrack.
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Sometimes the work load just gets to be a little to extreme...it's those
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time that I do it the deed. The most evil one know to man...
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þ [THE DEED!]
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Killing cats! Cats fucking suck! There is nothing better than a dead
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cat to look at first thing in the morning. And I should know because
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my cat is very dead. Cats as a specious SUCK. What are they good for?
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You skin them and stuff and barely get enough hide to make socks out
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of. Thier teeth admittitly are good for scrubbing but what other worth
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do they have? NONE. You kick the hell out of them and what do they do?
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They just go lay down somewhere else. You set them on fire and all
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they do is run around for a minute or two and die. Boring. Now if you
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cut off thier tails and tape it to thier forehead you can have some
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real fun as the cat in agony still tries to play with it's tail. Fun,
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fun, FUN for the whole entire family.
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þ [MaF] ASCii
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This one requires 50 line mode to really enjoy!
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°°°°°
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°°°
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ÜÜÜÜ°ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ ÜßÜ
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Û±±±±ß±±±±±±±ßßÜ Üß±±ÞÝ
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ÞݱO±±±±±±±±±±±±±ßßß±±±±±Û
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Û±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±Û
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Û±±±±Â±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±ÞÝ
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Û±±±±³±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±Û
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ÞÝÄÄÄÙ±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±ÞÝ
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Û±±±±±±±±±±±±±±ÜÜßßßßܱÛ
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ßßßßßßßßßßßßßß °°°° ß
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°°°
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°°
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°°
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°°°°°
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°°
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°
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°°°
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°° °°°°°
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°°°° °°
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°°
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°°
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°°
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°
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°
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°°
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°°
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°°°
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°°°
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°°
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°°
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°°
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°
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°°
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°
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Ú ³ ³ °
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ÚÙ À¿ ³ °
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ÚÙ ³ ³ °°°°
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ÚÙ ³ ÚÙ
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³ [Mooga: Taking a dump.] ³
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ÚÙ ³ ÚÄÙ °°°
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³ ³ ³ °°°
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³ ³ ³ °°
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þ MuSiC.
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Imagine if you will a place of ultimate pain and sorrow. What would it
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look like? Just like MTV? Well you are completely right. MTV has to be
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the most self-rightious group on the face of this planet. So what do you
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do about it? Nothing. Why? Because the alternatives are far worse. The
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alternatives? YES! Have you ever forced yourself to watch any CMT or
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VH1 for exteneded periods of time. If you have you wouldn't be reading
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this. You'd be dead. MTV fucking sucks, but hey so does life.
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þ L0D.
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[Below is a private chat with me and eRikBl00dAxe on #hack it's all true.]
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Edited into a much more readable form by me and by god every last damn
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word of it is true.
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Y = Me as the infamous and well loved Y-WINDoZE.
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B = Erik Bloodaxe the lumbering fag.
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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Y> Damn LOD is a piece of shit.
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B> You don't know what your talking about.
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Y> Oh shut up you pansy ass little fag.
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B> I am going to kick you.
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Y> Ohhh please don't shithead.
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* You have been kicked off #hack *
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* Y-WINDoZE joins #hack *
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Y> Damn your k@wl for a L0D gimp.
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B> hehehe
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Y> NO YOU FUCKING REJECT I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!11!!
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B> Your just jealous.
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Y> Yhea cuz I only get to do your mom once a week.
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Y> Me and U iz LuVrS
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B> Look your nobody and I am elite.
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Y> Your a pathetic shit-covered ass kissing piece of slime...
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B> I'm telling my mommy.
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Y> Yhea and tell her she still owes my 5 bucks, damn whores never pay.
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B> Look you are mean.
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ACK!$KK$$# Ok sorry I quit that! I was just going to sit and make fun
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of Ebl00daxe and NeWLOD for a really long time but after thinking about it
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they are so damn pathetic they do a good enough job of making themselves
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look like complete and utter asses without my help.
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þ PuD_3_18 n stuff.
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So ya know I have been working on this PuD also for like a month. So ya
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know writing shit like this crap isn't that easy. You see being such
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incredible artistic moguls like mE anD nC isn't an easy task. Especially
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when neither one of us wants to work on this trash anymore. Why? Because
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it's stupid. It's moronic and damn it I don't see enough rejects around
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any more to crack on. I don't call VBBS's. I don't hang on FIDONET all I
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do is nothing...ok something...so I have now turned into the biggest
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loser on the face of this planet, YES bigger than NO COURiER, I am now
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a, *gasp*, IRC Lamah...please forgive me...
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þ LYrICS.
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Here are some lyrics to a really cool song, just sing it at LARGE public
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gatherings at the top of your lungs.
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1st:
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Theres a little chicken by the barn yard gate.
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That little chicken is my playmate.
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That little chicken goes cockadoodle, cockadoodle, cockadoodOOOO.
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2nd:
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There a little cat by the barn yard gate.
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That little cat is my playmate.
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That little cat goes Meow, meow, meow.
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[Repeat First]
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3rd: And all further.
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There a little *animal* by the barn yard gate.
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That little *animal* is my playmate.
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That little *animal* goes, *animal sound*, *as*, *as*.
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[Repeat all previous back to number 1.]
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[Really good to sing at 2600meetings and WaReZ du0D GatHeriNS]
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þ AwA.
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Anti_waReZ-Association. I'm like a member and stuff. They like rag WaRez
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Du0dZ n StuFf. It's like 3Lit@ee!!!1!!!!.
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þ IRC Lameness.
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Along with me being a total fucking reject and hanging on internet a lot
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I have actually found that there are a lot of hilarious people there. So
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like I would just like to mention some of them here. And ya know some of
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you are mentioned more than once.
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[*** Long long list of people deleted because I really hated them. ***]
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þ Uhhh like NEW PUD MEMBERS.
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[Not to be confused with NEW LOD members.]
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So here is the offical PUD membership list with like Uhh comments N
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stuff for you to enjoy.
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o- Baphomet the Limbo King .
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Original Member. Lame as shit. Loves MaNdE.
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o- NO COURiER.
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Orginal Member. Dead.
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o- Hymie.
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Uhhh member because he has a large penis.
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o- Squinky.
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Given membership because of his wonderfull congeniality.
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o- Crowe.
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cUz He WaS a VbBS SiGHs0p.
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o- fReD tHe HitMan.
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He's in jail, again.
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o- Mooga the Whale.
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Still searching for her one man.
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o- ZER0 THE HER0.
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tHe 3Lit@sT gUY zU wIll 3v3r M3@T!!!!!!!!1!!!
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o- JizMAk.
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He's a pud member for no particular reason.
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o- Megad00d.
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Because he is so fucKiN 3Lit@!@!@@!#!11!!@!
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o- ErIC Blo0dAxe.
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Cuz he is in NEWl0D.
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o- Muffin.
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Some lame-ass punk, I think called Runaway-do-me-up-the-ass's cat.
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o- G-Bunny.
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Some stupid ass idiotic primate type thing.
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o- Other people.
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I really dont feel like listing anyone else. Oh well. Who cares.
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þ SuBMiSSioNS.
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Ya know I said I wouldn't alter any PuD submissions in any way. Oh well
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I wish I dadn't after this fine piece of litary work submitted by the
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one and only squinky. Alas we all say stupid things sometimes. But I did
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in fact say it so I will stick to it.
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PuD Exclusive: The Bust of Baphomet the Mighty Kitten Slayer(as I remember it)
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So, Baphomet gives me a phone call saying "D0UD!@ I AM AT PAYFONE!@ it IS
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1:00am
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, It iS a Dark Outside! There is a tree on the left, and a building behind me!
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I am in the m00d, let's call Molly!@#"
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<For those of you not K-ElYte enough to know, Molly is a machoistic IRC model
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for fat people's clothes, she also has a big ol' crush on Baphomet>
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I replied, "Ok! What is her number?"
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And he said "3144348902, ask for Tom(iT's her c0de name, D0uD1@@@@)".
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So, I called it, paying for it like I usually do.
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Then the phone RanG, and Molly answered. "Hello@!#?@!?#!@? Iz Tom TherE?"
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"Yeha, this is M0lly, d0ud!@#!@!@#!@"
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So, the conversation went on for a little while, with the occasional red box
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beep, and I decided to go to the bathroom. As this happened, I am not to sure
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as to what actually took place, but when I came back, Baph and Molly were goin
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at it pretty Heavy.
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"Oh!@!!@# BAby1@#!@ Let me here your RED Box!@!@#!@"
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"Oh!@!@#!@#!@ Interface with my warez PorT1@!@#!@"
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Then, all of a sudden, Baph screams, "D0ud!@#!@#@! I GOT BUSTEDq2WE!@#!@#@!@#"
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Then I say, "D0ud1@#!@#!@ HAng Up!P@#!@!@@!#!@#!@#!@@!"
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<This is where my memory gets kinda fuzzy, but I'll try to make it as accurate
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as possible>
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This is how I was told as it went:
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Baph hung up, and decided the best way to get out of this was to the offensive.
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So, when the first cop got out, he promptly recieved a red box to the forehead.
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This was not to effective. The cop got angry, and decided to fist Baphomet, for
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elicit toll fraud devices.
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Baphomet agreed to the deep cavity search, as it is one of his favorite past
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times. The cop also seemed to enjoy seaching his innermost facits.
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The other cop sat around and watched. He was probably enjoying the red box,
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because he seemed to be pressing the buttons a whole lot.
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When the search was over, the cop was not very pleased. Baphomet had nothing
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stuck in his anal cavity, and his asshole was already pretty loose, so the cop
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had nothing to break, and was not happy about not getting to live out his male
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adolescent fantasies.
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Baphomet promptly undid the cops pants, and dropped to his knees. He began to
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suck, like he's never sucked before. The cop was almost immediately on the
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brink of orgasm. Before long, the cop was jerking hard, and his cum spewed
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into Baph's mouth, like a Jew blowing his nose on the sidewalk.
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Next, Baphomet decided he was being raped, and pulled the cops gun away from
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him and shot him dead. The other cop was to pre-occupied with the red box to
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notice Baphomet boarding the incoming cow. Baphomet sterred the cow right over the cop
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and ran his sorry punk ass over. The Red Box was not damaged, because baph
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grabbed it up in the chaos.
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Soon, Baph was in the mood again, and found a wayward teen hanging out on the
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street. He ran him over with the cow, and began to ravish his hoff-imprinted
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body.
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Then he went home.
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The End.
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-sQuinky '78- COZ I M JEWBOY N STUFF.
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So uhh I didn't edit it in any way...gee and who says we here at PuD are
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not open minded? Huh?
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þ Support Sites.
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Uhhhh there are none.
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We narced and got all the little punks busted.
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þ Mail Stuff.
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Uhh dont send any of us mail we have gone into hiding until the whole
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problem with us and the former member of [VALiANT] ANSI blows over. They
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like said they were going to kill us, and I don't know about you but
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nothing striked fear in my heart more than the net threats off a 12 year
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old ANSI artist. Especially one with a copy of thedraw, registered.
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Released on the Date: Mon 08-23-1993
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"I was talking about the song hand job. Gee what do you take me for?" -Laura
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