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421 lines
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PuD v2.02 Volume 2, Issue 02
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ÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎ
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ÎÎÎÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ÎÎÎÎÎ
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ÎÎγ°±²Ûß ßÛ²±°³ÎÎÎÎÎ
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ÎÎγ°±² ²±°³ÅÅÎÎÎ
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ÎÎγ°± ±°³ÅÅÎÎÎ
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ÎÎγ° PuD °³ÅÅÎÎÎ
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ÎÎγ°± ±°³ÅÅÎÎÎ
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ÎÎγ°±² ²±°³ÅÅÎÎÎ
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ÎÎγ°±²ÛÜ ÜÛ²±°³ÅÅÎÎÎ
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ÎÎÎÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙÅÅÎÎÎ
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ÎÎÎÎÎÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÎÎÎ
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ÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎ
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PuD Update PUPDATE.DOC: The stream of thingzzZZzz and the DTR 03/25/93
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DON'T FORGET: ôŒúá<C3BA>ç ‹z /<”•œ!
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þ Forward <March! (The 25th)>
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As much as you lepers hate to admit it, I know you are all just hanging on
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edges of your seats, waiting for the DTR. Well, THIS file is intended for
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mostly local purposes or whatever; it's too much of a waste for even a long
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distance thing. Anyway, it is intended to fill you lamers in on the state of
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things. It is indeed possible that this PuD might do something for you.
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Maybe not. I sometimes forget that Huntsvegas, VBBS capital of the world, is
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the most well-informed city on the planet. Pardon me if I insult your
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intelligence (or lack of).
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þ GR@@TS
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Greets go to me, myself, and I.
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þ So what's up with the DTR?!?
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Nothing's up... we just want to starve you social cripples of something cool.
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As a matter of fact, it has already been uploaded to 1,984¬ WaReZ boardzzZZzz.
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You Huntsvermin will have to call long distance for once to get it. That means
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that you will have to buy a Radio Shak AM radio kit and turn it in to a white
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box.
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Nah... the DTR is STILL in the works as we speak. So far, only EDLiN/PR0 and
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the PSK have been completed. Here's a short listing of what we plan to include,
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if everything works out:
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* EDLiN/PR0 - Commissioned by Bill Gates III himself.
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* The PSK - Makes it E/ZzzZZzz for you idiots to interact with PuD
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* SaDC0MM - The K/RaD terminal with built in LEECH/ZMoDeM! <Iffy>
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* New Virii - Including fReD, SPaM, and more??
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* PuDictionary - More PuDRiFiC PHPHPHPHun
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* LoaderZZzzz - For the sake of K00lNeSS
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* MODs - Because they're swass, and take up space
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* ANSi's - Because it's the R@@L ELyTE thing to do
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* A QuickBasic BBS Program - For popularity among ignorant subhuman slime
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* Confessions of a DisKo Chinchilla - A short story
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* Llamii - One free llama guaranteed to the first 10,000 Downloaders
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* A shocking revelation so K_RaD it won't be mentioned, because it's a secret.
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* All of Volume 1 - SURPRiSE!
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* MORE!, MORE!, MORE!
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You see; cranking out quality, family oriented, moral software applications
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and utilities takes time. We wouldn't want to crank out two versions a day of
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some half-assed bug-infested .GIF viewer like others. We stress quality,
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efficiency, and wholesome software that makes your life easier.
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The DTR (PuD DeskTop Reference) should be released to general public sometime
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soon. We plan to include it with all computer sold by major companies. We
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admire the MicroSoft approach.
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þ Mostly Local NooZ
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Yes, it's time we do the NBC news magazine credibility thing. We're going to
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tell you what's going on in the Huntsville area, and beyond. For those who do
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not live in Huntsville, think of this as more reasons why you should never want
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to move here. I can sympathize completely.
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Ÿ K_RaD new DataFlux loader
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Well, it appears as if the Flux freaks are back. Just released earlier this
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week: A new DataFlux intro. Let us analyse this little annoyance by Intruder.
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The DFX Intro consists of three files - an overlay, a .MOD, and a frontend.
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Three files - one intro. Is this efficient coding or what?
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Anyway, the ANSi screen features two lines of text which flash with the
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beat of the .MOD. Wow. What is so unnerving about this intro is that the code
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is more than %90 UNoriginal. What wasn't swiped from toolkits in the first
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place was written by Baphomet. The source was then edited and modified to suit
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Satan's Mutts needs once he secured the code. Of course, he added a few lines
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to make the lines flash. It would take 10 or 12 regularly, but about 75 in his
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case.
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Rumor has it that Satan's Mutt is now part of DFX. Hmm. Could it be that
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Necro is simply using him because he is lame enough to jerk off in Pascal all
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day long? No, that wouldn't be the case. Satan's Mutt is really k00l. Really.
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Ÿ Telephone Booth theft
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There has been a rash of telephone booth, telephone booth sign, and telephone
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booth accessory theft in the North Alabama area as of late. PuD has ABSOLUTELY
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NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. We carry crowbars, screwdrivers, hammers, conduit
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cutters, Liquid Wrench, pliers, Vice-Grips, and other such tools in our cars for
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legitamate purposes only.
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Ÿ Lost and Found
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Yesterday, at the Decatur, Alabama General Hospital, 22 newborn infants were
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maimed, brutalized, and murdered by two unknown assailants with clear plastic
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bags over their heads. It is expected that these two felons will return, for
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one left his wallet and keys in the Newborn Supervision Unit.
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The wallet and keys will be returned to their rightful owner, pending accurate
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descriptions of the items.
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Ÿ BlaH is back
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Yhea, we're feelin' all lame 'cuz we didn't even know until recently. BlaH:
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Big Long and Hairy, is back and bigger than ever. BLaH features the
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philosophical, deeply intellectual insight of Guido Sanchez, Constantine,
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Lemuel, Chessman, and other such Teenage Role Models. If you haven't ever heard
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of BLaH, you are probably from Huntsville. Anyway, they're back, and NBA might
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be back one of these days also. You can pick up your copies of the BLaH T/FiLE
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from RipCo or some other such K_RaD WaReZ board. We would list support boards,
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but we're not trying to advertise. We're just trying to put something in your
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empty bloated skulls. Download BLAH-CUM.BAK if you see it anywhere.
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Ÿ Timothy Leary's dead
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I'm Timothy Leary, and no, I'm not dead.
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Ÿ Accidents
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It's time we made it all public. The Biafran Affair. The Assassination of
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JFK. Cambodia. Watergate. The Iran-Contra Affair. The Space Shuttle Disaster.
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Somalia. Sarajevo. The World Trade Center bombing.
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We did it. Sorry.
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Ÿ PCBoard v1.0
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PCBoard v1.0 has been released. With this tool, Huntsville may very well find
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something to use besides VBBS. Maybe not. Copies of PCBoard v1.0 are being
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sold for $32.62 by me, NO COURiER. E/Mail for ordering info.
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Ÿ CyberPunks
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Through intense, objective study, it has been confirmed that CyberPunks suck,
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always have sucked, and will continue to suck in the future.
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Ÿ What R@aLY R@@KS
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I know somebody who acquired the newest revision of VSum when it was less than
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36 hours old. 1« day WaReZ, d00d. Almost instinctively, he rushed to upload it
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to CyberNetic Violence. It was already there. Doesn't that reek?
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-------- end update
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start of pud volume 2 issue 2
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Welcome back to PuD. As you can see, this issue is half-assed and not really
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polished. What do you care? Got a complaint? Write your own damned T/FiLE in
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.COM format, you sad-ass fuck.
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Baphomet and I decided to give the DTR more time, and to include Volume II
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with it. We decided that rather than deprive you idiots of Volume II while
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waiting for the DTR, we would go ahead and write until we are satisfied with
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what we've got. Got a problem with that? Good.
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Now, I know and you know that there are things to be said in the way of
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T/FiLES. There are so many to choose from. Let us narrow down to some of the
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better-known E/Zines / Newsletters / T/FiLES and conclude why you should read
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PuD instead of these cheesy imitations.
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CUD - The name says it all. An obvious plagiarism of the one and only PuD.
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Who wants to read 300 lines of InterNet mail anyway? If you want to
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do that, why don't you just use InterNet?
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PHRACK - Wow. Swell. This sin't what you lamers want. This is too involved,
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Too technical for the simple-minded fool like yourself. Besides, this
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is too undergroundish. Let it be known that no Self-Proclaimed
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CyberPunk like yourself ever has anything to do with the computer
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underground. Too clich‚. Stick to Hubba Bubba commercials.
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CAU - Just another three-letter acronym. Obvious rip-off.
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LOD - Legion of WHO? These files are H0T NeW INFo in Huntsville. Sad.
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Scream N *me *me - Too big. 320k of HyperText is just way too much crap.
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When you need to draw a map for a document, that's a little excessive.
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CDC - Cult of the Dead WHAT? This is new to Huntsville, too.
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Legal Bytes - Too conservative. You can't be ELyTE and stildhgkhg,f
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<This article has been cut short to allow for something interesting>
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============= Hatemail from Stan's Mutt
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Reference: Steve Brady
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Aliases: Intruder, Sniper, Jamaican Bob-Sledder, Satan's Mutt
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Phone: v205/880.9566 BBS: 205/650.0302 (Damn, I hope this hits InterNet)
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Please call Steve at any time (preferrably 2-3 am Central time) voice and ask
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him about anything you want. Try to order a Pizza from him. Perhaps he will
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catch on. Steve's a great guy. He's the only person I know of who is so
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talented in Pascal that he can't clear the screen without a toolkit. Of course,
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I wouldn't want to make fun of him or anything. HE is, by the way, the most
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ELyTE guy to ever grace the Ft. Wroth scene. He said so himself. Maybe that's
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why nobody has ever heard of him in Ft. Worth. Too ELyTE, right?
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These message were logged from a local BBS, Civic Forum, which is also known
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(not-so affectionately) by a select few as "Wish I was Project/X."
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His response to an E/Mail I (NO COURiER aka Beanie) sent him:
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--
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Well, I don't procounce warez war-ez, the first time we were on the fone,
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I said that I have heard people say it like that...i know what the fuck
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warez are, and how to say it you inbred piece of shit. Also, that typematic
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rate was a joke you idiot, what kind of typematic rate do you think I wan get
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out of this sorry 286/10....geeezz man...you need to figure out what the hell
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you are saying b4 you say it idiot.
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==============
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Need I say more? Nah... That almost sums it up right there. The lamer tried
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to have a typematic rate race with me one day online. Perhaps this will give
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you even more insight in to what type of person he is.
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"b4" ...K00l. I like that.
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Mail {?} :
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___
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Yet another sad-ass message from the freak:
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---
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(3/3): hehehe
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Name: The Jamaican Bob-Sledder #76 @2501
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Date: Mon Mar 15 09:51:39 1993
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RE: Why WWiV?
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BY: Beanie #39 @2501
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> The new Remote Access is bad as hell... if you are proficient with QBBS/RBBS
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hehehe....you Remote Access lover...you suck
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___
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A response of substance:
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---
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Mail {?} : A
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E-mailing The Jamaican Bob-Sledder #76
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Title: ViSiON/X Boy
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Enter message now, max lines are 60
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Enter '/HELP' for help.
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[---=----=----=----=----=----=----=----]----=----=----=----=----=----=----=----]
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Who the fuck are you to tell me what I like and dislike about BBS ware?
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Hell, I'm not the lame, sad-ass fuck who was running ViSiON .83 and Frontdoor
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v2.01 unreg'ed. Hell, once your inbred dicksucking self got a copy of the new
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ViSiON, it didn't take you a week to fuck it up and lose it.
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I'm not about to hear bullshit about what is and what isn't about BBS ware.
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There are those who KNOW, and those who hack WWiV. Go home, lamer.
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...back to Ft. Worth, if you can get on a real BBS there again.
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---
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Explanation
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---
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Well, I have always been fond to the QBBS phylum of ware. Springing from this
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dawning is an entirely different class... SuperBBS. SuperBBS is by far the
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most powertful, most configurable BBS software in the world. It is the best,
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and damned if the name doesn't say it all.
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It's not K_RaD ELyTE software... no NUV, no lame shit. Just hardcore
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configurability and outstanding expandibility. Damn, I love Scandinavian Ware.
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---
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Soundtrack Boy
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There is this one local indignity to humankind who we shall know here as
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Acoustic Deacon. He loves soundtracks. No; he really, really, loves
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soundtracks. I think he is going to be featured on Geraldo next week. Perhaps
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it is a genetic thing.
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I have (and am quite proud of, I might add) the original soundtrack, on
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8/Track, to the _Hair_ broadway play. It is still in the box. I am willing to
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sell this item to any person with such a mental affliction as Deacon's for the
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low, low price of $320.06
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==========================
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A poem: Suburban Streets
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The children play
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in the street
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And watch the ball roll down
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Watch them frolic
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in the street
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Of a quaint suburban town
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And one by one
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they disappear
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Like some force retreating
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Three and then four
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they disappear
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The Sacred Llama is feeding
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At the altar
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in the temple
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The parents scour for reasons
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See all the rage
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in the temple
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Butter and garlic seasoned
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Like Hansel and Gretel
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in the oven
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Father Still Knows The Best
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Inhaling gas
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in the oven
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And marinating the rest
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At headquarters
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in rural Lima
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The FBI searches for clues
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See the detectives
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in rural Lima
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With seemingly nothing to lose
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What did they do
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At PuD Chapel
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Finding the evil beast
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Falling down
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At PuD Chapel
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Course Seven of the feast
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=============
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The art of Cynicism
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Many a time in my life, I have been confronted with questions asking my
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cynicism and how I managed to obtain such a redeeming trait. What these people
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don't realize is that cynicism is not a born trait, it is not by choice either.
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I, personally, am not cynical by choice. I am cynical because I have to be.
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Why do I have to be cynical? You suck. I have to be cynical to knock this
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ounce of information through your birth-defected face and in to your polyhedran
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shaped cardboard skull.
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They key to cynicism is rudeness. What is the rudest thing you have done
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today? Me? I spoke lustily and pervertedly to an innocent senior citizen. The
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reaction was amusing. Mildly.
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The key to being rude is knowing what other people care about. When somebody
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is trying to gain your attention for something important, change the subject by
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speaking of how you sexually assaulted a Brownie selling cookies. Don't ever
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let them tell you something meaningful. When they start to get the words out,
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interrupt and say something like, "I am just way to busy to speak to a low-life
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like yourself. I have much more important things to do, such as count the spots
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on the ceiling."
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Of course, this does not always work on some people. Another tactic is to
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answer questions before they are finished, sarcastically and totally
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off-subject. A good example would be something like this:
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"Hey COURiER, I was wondering if you could-"
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"Yhea, you lamer. The sky is still blue. Almost as blue as your mom after I
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beat her with a shoehorn. Y'know, I almost let her get away when I was
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performing illegal sex acts with your sister, but I managed to hit her over the
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head with a broom before she got out the door."
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I rest my case. WIth patented, graceful technique such as mine, you will
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have no problem losing all of your friends. Good luck.
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- NC
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======
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Let's go ahead and end this thing now.
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<*** End of PuD v2.02 ***>
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Mail:
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NO COURiER the Niceguy ------------- WWiV 2506@36
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Baphomet the Mighty Kitten Slayer -- WWiV 2506@14
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Y'know, an attitude like that doesn't get you anywhere.
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Huh? I've been to the courthouse several times!
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