213 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
213 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
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ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ùúù-ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
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³ ÜÜÜÜ ³
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³ ÞÝ ßÜ Ý ³
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³ ÞÝ ÞÝ Þ ³
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³ ÞÝ Üß Þ ³
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| ÞÝ ÜßÜß Ü ÜßßßÜ Û |
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: ÞÝ Ý Ý Ý Û ßÝ :
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ù ÞÝÞ Þ Ý Û Ý ù
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ú ÝÝ Ý Ý Ý Ý ú
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Þ ßÜÜÜÜÝ ÞÜÜÜÜßÜ
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ß
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ISSuE 8, VOLuME 1
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- BRiLLIANCE IS NEiTHER -
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- LOST NOR GAINeD; -
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- I ALREaDY HAVE IT ALL -
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[PUD_1_8.TXT]
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ùúù-ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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> EDiTED BY NO COURiER ú WWiVNET 2506@36 <
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ùúù-ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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D¡SCL’¡MäR
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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The opinions, views, ideals, and tasty canned soup recipes expressed in this
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T/FiLE are expressed without intention of execution. The authors, editors, and
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contributers to this file, as well as all of the K-RAD/[PuD], áçá, PGA, and œrš
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members, assume absolutely ¯N0® liability for you personal stupidity.
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Thank you.
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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þ WELC0ME BaCK
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Welcome back to the "Computer Underground's" FiNEST T/FiLE creation yet:
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K-RaD/[PuD]'s PiZZA UNDERGRoUND DiGEST!
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*** INTERRuPTIoN - NO COURiER's PATeNTED "Quote of Today's Line #38" ***********
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"Drop your flounder, the chocalate bar boiled my winds."
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***************************** RESUMiNG:
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We certainly hope you all enjoy, and submit whaever you want. The future of
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PuD looks good. We are looking for members, LaME DiST SiTES, and anybody who
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has the gall to contribute to the Underground's finest.
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SeND US SHiT. I don't care WHaT it is, as long as it is in ASCii! E/MAiL
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PuD's SENiOR EDiTORS, NO COURiER & Baphomet the Limbo King, at the following
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WWiVNeT addresses:
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Baphomet the Limbo King: WWiVNeT 2506@14 - NO COURiER: WWiVNeT 2506@36
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MAiL US.
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þ RESPoNSE
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Hell, there hasn't been any response as of yet- PuD just got BuSY releasing
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the K-RaD/[PuD] series a few days ago.
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Any response is looked over, and will probably be mentioned. We want to make
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fun of you. Please write.
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þ CORReCTIONS / EDiTOR's STaTEMeNTS
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All that appears to be a mistake to the untrained eye is actually intentional.
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Pud is perfect in every way. We don't fuck up.
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Ÿ In PuD Issue 1:6, fReD's article `IF SHE IS AS G00D AS SHE SaYS, WHY DOES SHE
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WaNT ME?' seemed to of caused slight confusion and misunderstanding.
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fReD will not take over and destory the world - just your mind.
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Apologies for any alarm caused.
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Ÿ Any disgruntling remarks about VBBS and it's outstanding SysOps should of been
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ignored. Such stressful topics can anger a VBBS SysOp while he's still learning
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to read an all..... PiSS 0FF.
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- NO COURiER
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ùú FEATuRED IN THiS ACTiON-PaCKED ISSuE OF PuD úù-ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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þ VIRTuALNeT HATEMAiL > I received 42 messages today... by NO COURiER (Line 74)
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þ ANoTHER FiNE POeM BY NO COURiER: "THE HEaT 0F THE WaReZ" (Line 138)
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þ KNITTiNG - MoRE FUN THAN YOU THiNK by JUNior (Line 151)
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þ MY FRiEND THE DANCiNG ARTiCHOKE > A short story by NO COURiER (Line 165)
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ùú AND N0W, 0n WiTH THE PHPHPHPHPHun! úù-ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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þ ViRTUaLNeT R00000lz, d00d. DaMMit, I EaT YOU FAGG0TS FOR LuNCH.
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The following documents the bullshit that hear most every day on VirtualNet.
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Beside from being the most poorly constructed Net/Echo of today, it caters to
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all rejects of other nets. Felony, Celerity, even Fido.
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It is here that we see just what type of people these VBBS freaks are. Lame
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as shit. Sometimes, I wish I had a sawed-pff shotgun.
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Enjoy. I hear this every day. ONLY on VirtualNet do you hear of ACTUAL VBBS
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SYSoPS who have NEVeR even HEaRD of Celerity. I hope mommy & daddy stop paying
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your phone bills, you fuckin' idiots.
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- NO COURiER
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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71/1 Email
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Title: Piracy
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Date: Sat Feb 20, 1993 00:24:53 (3 days old)
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Origin: Unknown System (Unknown) [?]
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From: The Gingham Dog #1 @1215059 VirtualSUX
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To: NO COURiER #22 @xxxxxxx VirtualSUX
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_______________________________________________________________________________
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-BEGiN QUOTE-
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Regarding: Piracy
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> something VBBS, because they are programmed in real languages. They also
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> support real, ORGANIZED nets that run solid. They also support the
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> capability of keeping people like you OFF of them EASILY.
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Perhaps you would find it more to your liking to join one of those criminal
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net a get off this one. Your type as well as not being useful to society are
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not welcome here. If I see another one of your low I.Q. posts your sysop will
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be instructed to remove you from his callers list. Go play in another sandbox
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kid.
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Bill Snell
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Region 2 RC
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_______________________________________________________________________________
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-END QUOTE-
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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IS THIS A RUDE ATTEMPT AT VIRTUALNET MODERATION?
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I hope not. I belong to several of your so-called "Criminal Nets." Too
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bad you couldn't get access and are still pissed off about it. I still won't
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vouch for you.
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Anyway, it is on these big bad criminal nets that you have a chance to
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keep up with what is going on, to discuss and read about new ideas and such
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via a BBS written in something other than QuickBasic. That means you don't
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have time to count to ten while wating for the BBS to find the date of the
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file. We wouldn't now about any such slow BBS wares, would we?
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Nope. Not at all. I'm glad you found a goal in life, to try and clean
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up VNet. It will take you a while to sort through all of those messages...
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replies of one line with the entire previous quoted. I hate to tell you, but
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VNet is about as close to a Net/Echo as your ranting and raving is to a
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message of substance.
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Find a life. I'll stay in my sandbox... you need to get out of the catpan.
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VirtualNet: _Virtually_ a REAL net.
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Damn, you suck.
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- NO COURiER
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===============================================================================
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þ HERE WE G0 AGAiN! PRAiSE THE POeT WHo KNoZe iT, and DoESN'T SHoZe iT!
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The Heat of The Warez
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Thou who layest before me shall see what is too be thrown upon our board,
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the choicest of the best vulnerable to our horde.
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In these blurs of PCR's and file points the first to get the new
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Will forego this torment and return the same to you.
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I had to call long distance, to get what I could acquire.
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I give to you, with no returns, the game of your desire.
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I ask for not, and you shall see the purpose.
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Return the same to me.
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þ KNiTTING - MORE FUN THaN YOU THiNK by JUNior
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Knitting much more than what the commoner's eye views. Knitting has proved
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itself to be the portal to the negative dimension. A reality so perversely
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entangled with the textile arts that one shall be overjoyed by his own presence.
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Knitting is more fun than you think. Just the other day, I saw a paranoic
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who, while nervously biting the flesh where his fingernails had once been, told
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of his accidental fumble in to the realm of the mighty god of crosstitch. He
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told of how he felt as he descended down the woven steps, and cowered at the
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god's feet. He told of his fear, and his grotesque sudden personal paradise
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which he had found within this world. Enter this. You may find the way to
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dimension -1, the dimension where division by zero is defined, with your ball of
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yarn as the guide. This is how it is done; this is the end of the positive.
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þ MY FRiEND, THE DANCiNG ARTiCHOKE by NO COURiER
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Ahh, t'was not long ago I met him. He danced in my head for a year at a time,
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for every hour I dreamt. His name was Francis. Francis the Dancing Artichoke.
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Francis and I became friends shortly after I found him once more at a local
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grocery store. I brought him home with me. Francis and I danced the night away,
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festively forgetting of our independant tortuous lives. The next morning, we
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joyfully cast off our souls, foolishly thinking we could remain this way
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forever. We could not of been more happy, nor wrong.
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Utopia. We lived there, the place Sir Thomas More had only dreamed about. We
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had found this within our hearts. We danced away the minutes. The hours. Days.
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Soon, I found this Utopia growing tiresome. I could not find a more powerful
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feeling within my heart alone, even if the feeling were shared. I worried.
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I soon decided that we would both be happy if only one of us was. I ripped
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out the artichoke's heart and ate it, howling like a savage vegetarian returning
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from the hunt. Without utensil's, I dug in to Francis' heart. He was still
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holding on. The expression of writhing pain on his sad face showed how much he
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agreed to the idea. He kept dancing as he screamed in horror. As I ate
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hungrily and viciously, his stalk soon grew weak, his moans of agony fading.
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Francis died as I applied the Hidden Valley Ranch. I laughed.
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- NO COURiER
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þ > C00l, MaN, it's the ENd of PuD #8, D0000000000d! < þ
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þ 3... 2... 1... CONTaCT!
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To contact the senior editing staff of the Pizza Underground Digest, E/Mail via
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WWiVNet at the following addresses:
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NO COURiER þ WWiVNet 2506@36 þ
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Baphomet The Limbo King þ WWiVNet 2506@14 þ
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þ DiSTRiBUTION
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So far, there is only ONE place to get the NEWeST PuD ISSuES.
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>> Your LaME-ASS BBS COuLD BE LISTeD BELOW! E/MAiL US FOR iNFO! <<
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Sys/NaME Head Cheese comes after ATDT ápS sW ADDReSSeSSssSS
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--------- ------------- -------------- ------ ---- --------------
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PROJeCT/X ³ Digital Saint ³ 1.205/883ù0894 ³ 12/144 ³ WWiV ³ WWiVNet 2506 ³
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þ THaNX
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...go to Digital Saint, for almost acting as if he would take us seriously!
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Woooooooooooooooooo hooooooooooo hooooooooooo!! Yip yip!
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<*** End of FUCKiN File ***>
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