151 lines
8.6 KiB
Plaintext
151 lines
8.6 KiB
Plaintext
+= poor old ugly pompous electronic yams #7 =+
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.s$$$$$$s. .s$$$$s. .s$$ $$s. .s$$$$$$s. .s$$$$$$$s. $$$ $$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$s. $$$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
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$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$
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$$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
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$$$$ s$$$$s .$$$$$$$$$. $$$$ .s$$$$$$$s. $$$$
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"Forest" - by Nybar
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Things were movin in the forest that day.
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The male squirrels were puttin the moves on the females.. sayin "Hey..
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yer squirrely.. girly". And they said "Ohh.. how you tease by sayin
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"yer squirrly..... girly". Not let me explain something about the
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quote "Yer squirrly.. girly". Only incredibly stupid yet gorgeous
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humans say "Yer squirrly, girly." But.. squirrels aren't as smart
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as humans. So let em say "Yer squirrly, girly" But that isn't what
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this story is about. This story is about a whale. A land whale.
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And he hated squirrels, ESPICALLY the ones that said "Yer squirrly,
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girly" So he ate all of them. And in his belly.. they were still
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mating.. and saying "Yer squirrly, girly" I bet you wish I would
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stop saying "Yer squirrly, girly" well lemme explain something else
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about the quote "Yer squirrly, girly".. I came into jC's room and said
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"How many times do you think I could fit the quote `Yer squirrly,
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girly' into a `zine story." and he said "17" so I said "Yer
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squirrly.. girly" And he said "Yer squirrly, girly" And I said
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"Yer squirrly, girly" And he said "Yer squirrly, girly" and I said
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" I'm not a girl!" And he said "But you ARE squirrly..............
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GIRLY" and I said "Stop saying `yer squirrly, girly'"
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but anyway all of the squirrels that said "Yer squirrly, girly"
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were now in the land whale. And the forest was a sad sad day.
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No more squirrels sayin "Yer squirrly, girly" poor squirrles.
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by the way.. edi's a dork. and.. if you actually counted all the
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times I used "Yer squirrly, girly" so are you.
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==========================
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"An Average Day in The Life of Edicius"
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(From edi's perspective)
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first I woke up. I had pooped myself in my sleep again.
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Then.. I went to the bathroom, #2. But I was constapated.
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So I took a shower. I pooped myself in the shower. Then I put
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on my nerd-clothes and went to school. There, me and my friends
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geekface, foureyes, and dorkbutt.. decided to have some willldd fun.
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Willdd.. man we were out of control. Heres what happened.... In the
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middle of class.. I said "May I go to the bathroom?" and the
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teacher said "Yes" so I went.. then geekface said "Now IIII
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need to go to the bathroom" but she said "No.. wait until edi comes
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back." Isn't that zany? After school.. I wrote for jonas.. and
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pooped myself. Then I went onto IRC and took out my anger at being
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a pants-poopin dork face on poor, innocent.. elete people like nybar.
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Then.. Geekface came over with dorkbutt and we decided that we would
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do our faviorate thing. Go on AOL. Then.. since we're special.. we
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EVEN went on prodigy!! Then I said "Gosh dern gee wilickers.. but I
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love AOL!" Then.... I laughed so hard I pooped myself. Then dorkbutt
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said "Wow.. you poop alot" and geekface said "Yeah" but then it was
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9:00 so my mom came and I had to go to bed.
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========================== =================== ========================
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Y0lk?! WHAT?!?!!?!? -nybar
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God.. I didn't write that thing of mine that managed to
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get into y0lk 99. no way. Y0lk sux almost as much as poupey.
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woo. We ordered rumble in the bronx today. It was good.. but..
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not as good as super-pig. And they didn't play that kung foo
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fighting song. I mean.. thats why we ordered it. My crap didn't get
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into dto. God.. dto. Frikkin hypocrites. Doomed to obscurity?
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yeah, right. Look at poupey.. now WE'RE dto!#$@ you know..
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the whole purpose of poupey is to make fun of people? ....
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um.. because rad didn't accept any of my crap either.. so I was
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real mad. So I said "Hey those jerks.. they're jerks!" So I wrote
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poupey. woo. Fleas are nearly indestructible. I grabbed one from
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my leg.. and.. I squeezed on him.. but he was still alive.. so I
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clapped him.. still alive. So I flushed him down the toilet in
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a piece of shit. I think that killed him.. but you can never be
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sure. I'm not a good rollmodel. Please.. don't.. model.. your..
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rolls after me. I like money. Money is good. Oh.. and I write for
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`zines. My brother fro-boy has a Big ol fro. If you don't know what
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a fro is stop reading this now. If you are still reading it.. just,
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watch that whole regga sun splash thing. j0ltCola told me that rega
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is "In" In japan.. and their gettin dreadlocks. elete. ...bye
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=============================================== ==========================
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"Think of a name at random" - by, Nybar & Fro boy
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fro boy- I was eating soup... CHICKEN soup.. and it.. was.. goooddd.
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Why, the taste.. I loved so much.. I ne'er understood.
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It might have been the chicken, it might have been the spice,
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... but if I had.. a pot of yams.. It really would be nice.
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Nybar- Oh please the slurping dear, drives me nigh insane...
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it splashes in my cortex.. and all around my brain..
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why oh why does chicken soup burn.. this must be my bayne..
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I remember a time in spring.. when I could enjoy the rain,
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and yet chicken soup without the yams.. really tastes quite plain.
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Fro boy- I really am not hungry, I really am not full..
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but even though, I eat my soup, as if I were a bull.
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yes, pass the yams waiter, I need to quench my thirst..
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but if I eat to many, my bladder will surely burst.
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Nybar- What do you think yams have to do with soup.. something about mice,
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I suppose in my deranged mind.. it will surely suffice.
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A GOD must have made the connection, many years ago....
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and that is why my dear brother, feeds them to his fro.
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Fro boy- I think the waiter hates me.. I think he's full of spite
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and if he doesn't bring my yams soon.. I think we'll have to fight
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oh where oh where is the waiter, I think my yams he ate..
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I'll get my axe, and his head, I shall decapitate.
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Nybar- Sounds like fun.. can I join in? I've been looking for someone
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to kill I have a sword.. I have a shield, and I have the will..
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Besides, if we kill him soon, we won't have to pay the bill.
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Fro boy- Nay, taxes collect and debts be payed..
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Even though his neck will meet my blade.
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After this, ye scurvy knave....
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Let us quest for gerbil to shave.
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FIN <you expect me to say something here.. but forget it this time.>
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============================================= ===================
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Im on my way to the doctorz, and.... BEWM we hit a reaLLY bIG dawg?!@
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ouch said my mom as she CUT HER FINGERS on the SMOG. DOnt hog the bog you
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CLOD. So i told my my she was REALLY _dumb_.
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----FUCK A REPUBLICAN----
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my d0kt0r said to me, OR YOUR TEETH WILL FALL OUT.... so eyez saidz YES.
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what else c0uld eye doooo... hes got a Phd, and all i gotz is diz GREEN
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POO!.... THROW??? said the monkey when he say my greeN POO?@!!@? THWACK
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THAT MONKEY, said i, with a twinkle in my thigh!
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I CUNT HEAR YOU, shouted I, POO POO AND other waste products. The
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monkey said BULLOCKS. hey it rymes with PRODUCTS.! So me and the monkey
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in unison SHOUTED, "SUCKLE MY NUB DOCTOR WHO!" the doctor said "EYE PHEAR
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MOGEL, BUT NOT AS MUCH AS EYE PHEAR YEW!@?!@?!".... soe... the story goes
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on for more and more plentiful hours, and ends with ME.. ,masturbating in
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the shower!@#!@ THWACK THWACK i tugged at me WHEE, SPUT SPUT I SHOWERD
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TILL HALF PAST PHREE?!@@?!
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