textfiles/magazines/PARTHENOGENESIS/parth-04

<<<EXTRA-SPECIAL NEATO NOTE: Hello to all who are reading this!
This is PARTHENOGENESIS, a regular old solid ink-and-paper zine
based in Fort Collins, Colorado converted to ezine format. Please
keep in mind that this is a REPRINT of the original issue. Also,
apologies if the zine is a bit Fort Collins-inclusive (future
issues won't be). All work by the respective authors is under
copyright. Permission is granted to copy and distribute this
ezine in its entirety, or to give the respective author credit
for his/her work. In the future I hope to have current copies of
PARTHENOGENESIS distributed physically and on the Net
simultaneously. I also hope to be independently wealthy, conquer
the universe, and learn to tango. Of the three, I think the
second is the most likely. If you should wish to contribute to
this zine (all submissions will be considered - but I tend to
stay away from political crap), request a copy of the physical
zine (it looks MUCH better, and has a bit of artwork in it that's
not here), or just have something to say (I welcome ALL
comments), please write me at: Parthenogenesis, 804 S.College
Suite 8363, Ft.Collins, CO, 80524    or you can send email to us:
dherrick@nyx.cs.du.edu. Thanks for listening to me babble, and if
you didn't take the time to read through all this, you're a dork. 
         --- Mohammed X                >>>

************************
PARTHENOGENESIS ISSUE #4
************************
Issue Four, Volume One, November, 1992. Published more or less
monthly. All rights reserved, all lefts under consideration. Any
resemblance to persons, places, or turnips, living, dead, or
retired, is a complete fabrication by the reader and as such is
not admissible evidence in court. Please, no hemorrhaging, and
remember.... oh well, nevermind, I forgot.
Editor: Mohammed X. Contributors for this issue: Mohammed X, Adam
Five, Bill Lee, Ben Hunter. May your sexual members swell to
enormous size.
Also thanks to everyone who reads this zine. Send me your letters
with comments, submissions, or just plain anything!
                    Parthenogenesis
                    804 S.College Suite 8363
                    Ft.Collins, CO  80524
*

                   TIMOTHY LEARY:

           THE PARTHENOGENESIS INTERVIEW


NOTE: This interview was conducted in the near future somewhere
high above Dr. Leary's current home in Southern California. The
good doctor, still notorious for his advocacy of LSD during the
1960's, these days is interested in almost everything. -- Bill
Lee


LEE: What do you think of the recent phenomenon of
PARTHENOGENESIS which has been detected in Fort Collins,
Colorado?

LEARY (a big grin): What I'm actually thinking about is the
sexuality of artificial intelligence, that is, solid-state
entities. By definition of course, parthenogenesis is a global
phenomenon that goes back at least 3-1/2 billion years or more,
in terms of biocomputer wetware and sloppy disks produced by DNA.
In terms of techno frontiers of human reproduction,
parthenogenesis finally allows our sexual pleasure to be
completely separated from reproductive responsibility. Making
babies can be done artificially, or the old-fashioned way, by
choice. That's a great idea, since erotic enjoyment should always
be maximized. Sexual frustration remains the root cause of all
our worst problems.

LEE: I'm thinking specifically of this subversive zine...

LEARY: All right, (long pause) it seems that this rag called
PARTHENOGENESIS embodies an intriguing schism between its content
and actual means of reproduction. THe contents are brilliantly
irrational in a way that most likely inspires revulsion, awe,
hilarity, or complete incomprehension from its readers. In terms
of its actual printing, it does its best to escape the Gutenberg
lock on an artist's singularity, and nearly destroys itself in
the process... the only way it can survive. It violates its own
premise, which is how it succeeds. The printing process is
ejaculatory.

LEE: How do you mean that?

LEARY (giggling): In terms of erotic gratification for the
intelligent machines that are increasingly participating in our
post-symbolic reality-fabrication... the quantum psychological
states we are now capable of. You see, since the invention of the
printing press, people increasingly mistook whatever was printed,
for reality, but it fixed and froze what the writer said. A
classic Catch-22. Only now...

LEE: I don't quite understand.

LEARY: The text of PARTHENOGENESIS appears to be mostly produced
on PCs. The writers themselves were most likely conceived via
sexual union in the traditional way. The layouts themselves are
apparently reproduced upon copy-machines, which are semi-
intelligent these days. In the process of such reproduction those
machines are experiencing erotic gratification of a cybersexual
sort, even if it is basically masturbatory. Just watch one of
them at work, rubbing itself back and forth, humming and
groaning, flashing brightly at the end of each stroke! Can you
deny that such machine intelligences enjoy themselves when they
are repeating and repeating whatever it is they are designed to
do over and over again? Cybersex is like picking the Gutenberg
lock.

LEE: I'm not sure. It's a bit mind-boggling.

LEARY: Most things are, if you notice them at all, Bill. But
that's only the beginning. Ten years from now you might
understand what I'm suggesting, and the implications for readers
of this PARTHENOGENESIS zine, well, I'll leave that to you to
figure out. A little brain damage never hurts anyone who is too
smart for their own good! This zine, a I see it, is only a
flexible and amorphous safety device, nothing in itself until it
is being used. It facilitates an interface between perverse
anarchism of the contributors, and their victims in the general
public. It's like a condom that allows uninhibited promiscuity on
both sides, with relative if not absolute safety.

LEE: Do you suggest, ahum, that the PCs and copy-machines
actually get a kind of pleasure from the whole process?

LEARY: Why not? (chuckling) What the readers get out of it is
entirely up to them, unless they choose to get involved in the
rest of it, which is probably a lot more fun.

LEE: Okay, I'll think about all that. Now, how about the matter
of your plans to have your head removed and cryogenically frozen
when you die?

LEARY: A practical measure, Bill. If there's a possibility my
brain can be revived at some later date, why not give it a try?

LEE: Maybe I can interview you again then, and ask you what it
was like.

LEARY: If it's you, (giggling) then we might have to call it the
Talking Heads interview, eh?
*

"Love is two minutes fifty-two seconds of squishing noises. It
shows your mind isn't clicking right." - JOHNNY ROTTEN

*

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
GROUND UNDER'S WRITING CONTEST
------------
Submissions are being accepted for Best Short Story ($30),
Nonfiction ($10), and Poetry ($10). All entries will be
considered for publication. Send submissions on disk [IBM or MAC
ASCII] or hardcopy to :  Shadow Publications, 305 W.Magnolia
Suite 312, Ft.Collins, CO  80521.  Or if you have a modem, upload
the material in ASCII [300-9600 bps]: (data) (303)484-4572.
GROUND UNDER wants all types and all topics. The only requirement
is good writing. Write to the above address or call the above
number for more information.
SUPPORT UNDERGROUND PRESSES AND KEEP FREE SPEECH ALIVE!
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

*

           THE ADVENTURES OF THE DIME AND THE QUARTER

                         by Dan Herrick


                           CHAPTER ONE

                    (Continued from last issue)

     She then felt a slight tap on her shoulder. She whirled
around three times (once for practice, another for good luck, and
the last for the real thing) and stood face-to-face with a normal
looking man. The man was wearing a plaid shirt, plaid pants,
plaid suit jacket, plaid tie, plaid shoes, plaid socks, and had
plaid hair.
     "Excuse me," the quarter (no, dollar) asked politely, "But
one couldn't help but wonder if you're wearing plaid underwear
also."
     The plaid man coughed discreetly, ignored the question, and
said, "Madam Quar- er, Dollar, I happened to hear your cry for
assistance, and thought I might be of service. I represent the
Internal Revenue Service (that's IRS to you!)."
     "Well," responded the QuarDollar dizzily, "I don't quite see
I have any other choice. Go ahead. Do what needs to be done."     
"No problem!" smiled the plaid man, leading her to a
conveniently located ambulance. "All we need to do is a little
major invasive surgery, and you'll be as good as new!"
     "Does that include a free polish?" asked She-Who-Was-Once-A-
Quarter-But-Is-Now-A-Dollar-But-Is-Soon-To-Have-The-Situation-
Corrected.
     "Absolutely!" the plaid man cried gaily, bludgeoning to
death a small african violet who happened to wander across his
path.
     A measly sixty-nine hours later, the quarter exited the IRS
Clinic, good as new and with a fresh polish to boot.
     "See, I told you!" the plaid IRS man grinned, walloping a
security guard across the forehead, "Mint condition!"
     "Thank you again!" the quarter cried happily, waving and
walking briskly away from the clinic.
     "Think nothing of it!" giggled the plaid man, and machine-
gunned a group of thirty or so people who were waiting in line
for a bus. The bus was late.
     The quarter noticed his strange behavior not at all. She was
busy gleefully walking down the street, happy to be restored to
her natural state. Suddenly, a light bulb appeared in the air
above her head!
     "What the hell is that for?" she wondered, and idly dashed
it against a nearby brick wall. The myriad tiny pieces of what
once was the light bulb tinkled down upon a dirty cloth lying on
top of a garbage can, which, in turn, was leaning against the
wall. When the critical weight was reached (that being x5), the
cloth fell from the trash can, falling onto a shabby bronze lamp
which happened to be sitting beside the trash can. The cloth then
slid off the lamp .347 seconds later, rubbing it slightly as it
fell.
     A genie suddenly appeared before the quarter, who had been
largely unaware of all that had transpired in the last few
seconds. "Damn, you're stupid!" the genie scoffed. "What about
the dime?"
     "Well, I suppose the dime's stupid, too." the quarter
answered, a bit surprised.
     "No, no, NO!" cried the genie. "You moron, I MEANT, what are
you going to do about the dime?!?"
     The quarter pondered. "Um...I dunno. Where'd he go?"
     "Where do you think, you idiotic piece of recycled scrap
metal! Heaven! He went to heaven!!" the genie punctuated this not
only with two exclamation marks, but with a lightning bolt that
destroyed a passing plane high above. "You have to go get him!
Why the hell do I even bother with a dimwit flagstroph
monominomephastat like YOU!!!"
     "Oh."
     "'Oh'? Is that ALL you can say? What a total and complete
imbecile! Well, don't expect any more favors from ME, you
deflated old has-been traftiful currency!!!" the genie blustered,
and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
                                            |
                                           - -
                                            |

AUTHOR: Hold on here! This story is suddenly getting very old
very fast... or is that very fast very old... or very old &
fast... WHATEVER! It's dumb! It's stupid! It's boring, the
language is simple, and the audience is too! Something must be
done... But what?!?

SCRIPTWRITER: A new character?
AUTHOR: No... too many already.
CAMERAMAN #1: A few more camera zooms on the quarter!
AUTHOR: Hmmm...
CAMERAMAN #2: A new Cameraman #1!
AUTHOR: Shut up.
DIRECTOR (With fake French accent): Introduce a French accent to
all the characters!
AUTHOR: No...!
INNOCENT BYSTANDER: Skip the next chapter!
AUTHOR: YES! I like it! We'll DO it!
                                            |
                                           - -
                                            |

                          CHAPTER THREE

     And yea, what came to pass but a miracle, and that miracle
was the Great River rising and consuming all who lived alongside
it; and lo, what did the people do but wail aloud to their god,
who replied:

     "My people, I hear thy pleas; and yea, my heart bleeds with
thine; my arm breaks with thine; my kneecaps shatter with thine;
my skin shrivels and peels off with thine; my eyeballs boil and
melt with thine; my testicles are stretched to four times their
previous length and then bitten off by a rabid hyaena with thine;
and I have one thing to say and this I sayeth:  Holy Shit, that
smarts!"

     And verily, the people replieth thusly:  "But, dear master,
god, and otherwise big boss; but, what must we do?"

     To which their god replieth:  "Truly, I say unto thee:  I
suggest a hot bath."

     And so, without further ado,

                                            |
                                           - -
                                            |
AUTHOR: What the hell...?
SCRIPTWRITER: Um...oops. Wrong script.
AUTHOR: Geez.
                                            |
                                           - - 
                                            |

                          CHAPTER FOUR

     Suddenly, the quarter found herself at the gates of Heaven.
There was nobody around, so she tried to open the gates. They
were securely closed and locked. Humming a gospel song to
herself, she picked the lock, opened the gates, and walked in.
And found herself staring at... nothing. Just a few clouds.

     "Stupid!" a miniscule voice sounded inside her head.  "You
already WERE inside Heaven! This is outside!"

     "Oh." she said, and turned around to open the gates. It was
then (not 23 years earlier, on a beach in Norway, as some people
like to think) that she noticed the sign on the door. It read,
"CLOSED FOR REPAIRS". "Damn," she said, and was instantly cast
back down to earth for her blasphemy.

     And so, the dime was conveniently written out of the story.

     But soon, the quarter had an encounter with New York City.
This left both the quarter and NYC very much confused and
distraught, and while the quarter could simply take a vacation to
"get away from it all", New York WAS it all. The only thing that
poor NYC could do was raise its crime rate by 14%.
     But sooner than a por old blind crippled schoolteacher
thought, the quarter found herself on I-25, just north of Denver.
She panicked, and waved to a passing motorist going the other
way. THe motorist waved back and continued on his merry way. The
quarter found a discarded pizza box, and felt obligated to
dispose of it properly, because, as everyone knows, every day is
Earth Day. Since the nearest pizza box recycling center was in
Denver, she was forced to enter the dreaded city. She did not
know why she dreaded the Mile High City so much, except that it
may have had something to do with the fact that she wsa once
brutally assaulted, robbed, mugged, kidnapped, and eventually
murdered in Denver in a past life.

     So the quarter, being not a dirty copper, walked boldly
through the streets of Denver carrying the pizza box. And soon
got herself lost. She asked a man in a yellow and red polka-
dotted tie which way to the nearest pizza box recycling center,
but he simply urinated on the pizza box and walked away. The
quarter approached a horse which was tap dancing for the
amusement of a few closely-clustered paper bags.

     "Excuse me," the quarter called to the horse, "but do you
know where the nearest pizza box recycling center is?"

     The horse suddenly stopped his dancing and walked over to
the quarter. The paper bags, realizing that the show had ended,
drifted off in pairs, rustling quietly amongst themselves. The
horse eyed the quarter appraisingly, then spoke.

     "Let me tell you a story," he said quietly, yet firmly.

     "Okay." the quarter agreed.

     "Good." the horse hummed tunelessly to itself for a moment. 
"It doesn't have a title, though."

     "Um..." the quarter said, "That's okay."

     "All right then." the horse nodded, pulled out a cigar, lit
it, puffed it twice, farted, stamped his foot three times, and
began the story.

     "Once there was a whale. The whale had a name, the being
Yakkkka Yippa. Now Yakkkka was not a typical whale in many
respects. First of all, he was purple. Many other whales resented
this, and went to great lengths to taunt Yakkkka about it. Also,
Yakkkka had a last name. None of the other whales had a last
name, and all were fantastically jealous of Yakkkka. The last and
final difference, perhaps the most important (then again, perhaps
not) was the simple fact that Yakkkka owned a walkman.

     "The walkman was Yakkkka's pride and joy, and he even named
it. He called it Walkman. He listened to it always, whether he
was swimming, eating, swimming, or eating (whales have a very
mundane existence, as you can see). Well, one day the author
decided to introduce a new character, and thus Dorc the Dolphin
was born.

     "Dorc was swimming happily along one day (Dolphins lead a
very fun and interesting life. They swim happily all the time. In
fact, they get so caught up in this that they occassionally
forget to eat or read the newspaper.) when suddenly he ran into
Yakkkka. Literally.

     "'Hey, watch it, dork!' snapped Yakkkka irritatedly. He had
just come from an intense taunting session from the other whales,
and was in no mood to have dolphins running into him.

     "Dorc was shocked. 'How'd you know my name?'

     "But Yakkkka simply ignored Dorc, which made the dolphin
very distressed indeed, as he was not used to being ignored. 
'Hey!' he blurbled. Yakkkka did not notice. Dorc then stood on
his head, trying to attract Yakkkka's attention. This feat is
quite simple in water, and so Yakkkka paid no attention to the
dolphin's antics. Dorc then began to swim backwards while
whistling 'Happy Birthday', 'Joy To the World', and 'Taps' at the
same time, backwards. Yakkkka failed to notice.

     "At this Dorc became angry, not saddened as a lesser
character might. He dashed after Yakkkka and grabbed the Walkman
away from him. Unfortunately, Dorc had no hands, and could
therefore not hold onto the Walkman. It slipped out of his grasp
and tumbled lazily to the deep, deep water that no whale (or
dolphin) can ever go. 'Oops,' said Dorc.

     "After calmly skinning Dorc alive, Yakkkka swam off in
search of something, anything to get his mind off his lost
Walkman. He found nothing, and died a sad and lonely, yet purple,
whale."

     The horse finished his story and his cigar at once. He
looked the quarter in the eye.

     "Where the hell's your eye?" he demanded.

     "Right here." the quarter gestured.

     "Okay," said the horse, and proceeded to REALLY look the
quarter in the eye. "Do you know what the moral of the story is?"

     "Well................. No," the quarter confessed.

     "Neither do I." the horse grinned.  "Here, have a walkman."

     "Thanks!" Surprised, the quarter took the proferred walkman,
and watched as the horse trotted away.
*
"Journalism is the ability to meet the challenge of filling
space." - REBECCA WEST

*

HEY! Tired of digging through the mess of newspapers on coffee-
shop counters only to discover there are no more copies of
Parthenogenesis left? Well, here's a way to make sure you always
have a copy! That's right, a subscription to Parthenogenesis! $5
for a six-month subscription. Take it or leave it. Send check
payable to "Dan Herrick" to : Parthenogenesis, 804 S.College
Suite 8363, Ft. Collins, CO, 80524. Wheeeeeee!!

*

"Woe to him inside a nonconformist clique who does not conform
with nonconformity." - ERIC HOFFER

*

                 APATHY INTERNATIONAL presents:

                  the State of Our Country...!

CONSIDER: Corruption runs rampant anywhere we look:  government,
schools, business, religion. It is now commonly accepted that our
politicians do lie, cheat, and steal. Our government is
ineffective, buried beneath an avalanche of obsolete checks and
balances that succeed only in warping the original intent into a
stifling set of "laws" that inhibit instead of freeing us. Our
school system is rated among the worst in the world. Instead of
expanding our awareness and teaching us to learn, it inhibits
creativity and free thought and seeks to make us slaves to form.
What it teaches us is not to think for ourselves. Businesses in
this nation are generally more effective, humane, and powerful
than the government, and still they keep secrets from us that we
can never learn. The individual's welfare takes a backseat to the
company's profits, to the point of killing its own workers to
protect trade secrets. And still, foreign businesses are superior
to ours in everything but ego. The dominant religion in this
nation is closely tied with the government, no matter what they
say, no matter that this government is ideally a separation of
church and state. It is not. The religious zealots do all that
they can to force other "unbelievers" to their way of thinking,
even to the extent of limiting personal freedoms through their
connections with the government. Their purpose and process are so
far removed from the original intent in their religion that it
can not even be considered to be the same religion. Hypocrisy
reigns, the "love" that they preach no more than a facade to
better themselves at the expense of us.
And what can we do about all this? Nothing. There is nothing that
we can do to change the problems we can see. We are helpless and
insignificant. We can do nothing but watch it happen and hope
that it might get better. If you feel the same way, you belong
with us. APATHY INTERNATIONAL. Dedicated to the needs of our
members. Join us, and we MIGHT make a difference.

*

"I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake,
which I also keep handy." - W.C.FIELDS

*

You wouldn't believe how many people ask me, "Mohammed, how can I
possibly be a NINJA like you?" Well, due to increasing demand,
myself and my fellow NINJAS (whom I cannot name) have devised a
set of "steps" to becoming NINJA. Yes, you too can learn to be a
true NINJA!    - Mohammed X


THE 69 STEPS TO BECOMING NINJA 
 
1:  Buy a black leotard jumpsuit with matching black socks and
black cowl that covers all of your head but for your eyes. This
is known as 'Ninja garb'. This will prove to all who gaze upon
you that you are truly Ninja.  (BE SURE TO REMOVE PRICE TAGS!)   
2: Memorize this phrase: "He who laughs last, swallow fish; but
he who laugh first, IS fish."  Quote this to opponents after
combat.
3: At random times walking down the street in a busy metropolitan
area, do this: fling what you're carrying at the nearest person,
dive and/or roll through the door of the nearest business, and
WITHOUT TOUCHING THE FLOOR, make your way to the back door and
exit. 
4: Become proficient at needlepoint. (A true Ninja will know
why.) 
5: If you ever see another ninja with SWEAT STAINS, kill him/her
immediately. If you ever find yourself having sweat stains where
someone can see you, slay yourself instantly. Having visible
sweat stains is the most dishonorable thing a ninja can do.    6:
I can't tell you this one. You must find it our for yourself. 7:
Fully comprehend the mechanics of operating and programming a VCR
that doesn't have on-screen programming. (The uses are too
numerous to mention.) 
8: Practice walking barefoot on the following terrain: hot coals,
crushed glass, hot springs, volcano, coral reef, bamboo spikes.
9: Always speak with an accent, no matter where you are or where
you're from. 
10: Never remove your ninja garb, not even to urinate or
defecate. A true ninja never needs to urinate or defecate. 11:
Learn lethal card tricks to impress your fellows.
12: Whenever someone visits your home, make sure they see the
'bed of nails' in your bedroom. You need not sleep on it,
however. It is acceptable to have a SECRET bedroom with a
waterbed or featherbed in it.
13: Practice 'blood-curdling' screams. Scream several times each
day, in public and private, at appropriate times. 
14: Adopt at least one nickname. Make sure at least a few people
know you only by this name. When meeting new people, ALWAYS
introduce yourself by saying, "I am known as..." or "They call
me...".
15: Keep an odd pet, preferably something carnivorous and not
native to the area. 
16: Learn to be able to brush your hand once through someone
else's hair and estimate how many hairs they have. A margin of
error of eight is acceptable. 
17: Learn to write in your sleep. Combine these writings into a
book and publish it under another name. DO NOT READ THIS BOOK
YOURSELF. Deny knowledge of the book, and refuse to acknowledge
its existence even when confronted with it. 
18: Learn to sleep with your eyes open. This way, others will
think you never relax your vigilance. Or, alternately, paint fake
eyeballs on your eyelids. 
19: Never answer a question directly. Useful alternatives are to
answer with another question, answer with a riddle, laugh
maniacally, or to simply stare quietly at the person until he/she
goes away.
20: Drooling IS acceptable behavior, if you are in a battle
frenzy or world-dominating planning session. 
21: Try to avoid showing facial expressions unless it is showing
'satisfaction' at defeating a worthy opponent. 

               TO BE CONTINUED...!
*
<<<ANOTHER XTRA SPECIAL NOTE: This poll HAS been modified for
distribution on the Nets. Just thought you should know.>>>


               THE YES/NO/PENIS POLL!

Hello everybody! How would you like to take a poll?
 
(Just press Ctrl-Alt-Del if you don't want to take this poll.)  
The purpose of this annoying little piece is to generate more
poll responses than I have received from the latest issue of my
modest zine, Parthenogenesis. If you DO wish to take it, please
email me (RANDOM) with your responses or send them to :
Parthenogenesis, 804 S.College Suite 8363, Ft.Collins,CO. 80524.
For email, please use the following format:
1 - Y
2 - N
3 - P          etc...
Where 'Y' is for 'YES', 'N' is for 'NO', and 'P' is for 'PENIS'.
(Except for question #23.)
 
Yes, this is the eagerly awaited YES/NO/PENIS POLL.
 
The questions follow. Remember, answer YES, NO, or PENIS!
 
[1] Do you consider yourself "well endowed"?
[2] Would you say that the movie "3 Ninjas" is PUNK?
[3] Is it possible to run... AND hide?
[4] Are you Dan Quayle?
[5] Have you ever seen Elvis?
[6] Are you DOWN with Mohammed X?
[7] Do you think it's fair that Topher and Honika got fired from
the Two Bits club?
[8] Do you know Les Green?
[9] Have you ever had sex until you passed out?
[10]Do you prefer 'Kickboxer' over 'Kickboxer II'?
[11]Can you read?
[12]Consider this phrase: 'Mouthful of Biscuit'. Take at least 30
seconds to reflect on this. NOW, do you feel nauseous at all?
[13]Are these Authentic Mexican Tacos?
[14]Do you avoid Paris on the Poudre on the nights when you know
they're going to have live music?
[15]Spamlett...?
[16]Do you ever have nightmares involving any combination of the
following:    TEETH, CORN, and DAVID HASSLEHOFF?
[17]Is Parthenogenesis really some sort of Alien Mind Control?!??
[18]Do you firmly believe that Tactical Penile Implants are the
"wave of the future"?
[19]When you sharpen a pencil with a hand sharpener, does your
butt wiggle in little circles?
[20]Are you a regular reader of Parthenogenesis?
[21]Did you answer 'yes' to the previous question?
[22]Is Contradiction 23 YOUR Short Term Personal Savior?
[23]Finally... What does the PENIS vote mean to you?
_________________
 
Well, that's that. Once again, Email me (RANDOM) or write to the
above address with your responses. If you want an issue of
Parthenogenesis mailed to you, give me your name and address and
I'll do it, unless I run out of Elvis stamps, in which case the
world will end. Thank you very much for taking the time to do
this! Pass this poll on to anyone you think will fill it out...
and remember, the penIs, mightier than the sword! 

*

                    ANOTHER DAMN POLL

Yes, that's right! Tell us what you like/don't like about
Parthenogenesis, simply by filling out this survey and mailing it
in. For each story or feature given, please rank it on a scale of
1-10, with 1 being "It sucks! I HATE it!" and 10 being "Godlike!
The basis of a new religion! More, please!". (The issue # for
each is in parantheses.)
"Arithmetic" (1)                        ___________
Rumors column (1)                       ___________
"Dear Mom" (1)                          ___________
conversation (1)                        ___________
Guapa (1,2)                             ___________
Casaguapa (2,3)                         ___________
"The Chronicles of Rit Som T'ng" (2,3,4)___________
"The New Story" (2)                     ___________
"The Book of Mohammed X" (2,3)          ___________
"Aliens Visited Me..." (3)              ___________
Parthenogenesis Polls (3,4)             ___________
"Adventures Of Dime And Quarter"(3,4)   ___________
"What You Don't Seem To Understand"(3)  ___________
"Timothy Leary Interview" (4)           ___________
"69 Steps to Ninja" (4)                 ___________

*******************************
END OF PARTHENOGENESIS ISSUE #4
*******************************