textfiles/magazines/ONESHOTS/news0793.txt

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Approved for Public Distribution
Distribution is unlimited
SWaT is a trademark (C) 1993, Deth Ltd.  All rights pissed away.
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INTRODUCTION:

   Welcome to what is probably the most awaited issue in the brief history
of the SWaT newsletter.  This was to be the heralding issue of The Regulators,
but as you will soon find out, something went wrong.  Very wrong.  This is
a rather lengthy newsletter and we will initially give everyone the entire
history of the happenings in the last two weeks that echoed throughout the
pirate world.  Later on in the issue, we have the site updates, courier
updates, HQ updates, and the Game of the Month, as well as some closing 
comments.

IN THE BEGINNING....
   No better place to begin than at the beginning of the entire scenario.
Business was going as usual for us in SWaT.  The sites were coming in, 
new sites were being broken in and receiving good warez, and the general
courier shifting was going on, with guys coming in and out of vacation.  
Around the beginning of the month, when all this began, there wasn't much
new coming out, so life was pretty boring, sans the ocassional util and the
ocassional Jurassic Park fake.  We had just added in White Rose into the
group and she and I were talking one night just about things in general.
Remembering she was in MALiCE before she came over, I asked her the million
dollar question:

"What happened to MALiCE?"

"I don't know, Paul.  I haven't been in the group for months."

"Yeah, it's just that they REALLY seem to be dead... I know I make fun of
them, but even the MALiCE couriers don't know what's going on anymore.."

Later on, White Rose got a chance to speak with Liquid Khaos, who had just
gotten back from an eight-month hiatus from the scene, which included a trip
to Europe where he got a chance to meet and stay with the famous European
RAZOR and super spreaders like HOPPERMANiA, Macro Nit, DEViL, and the rest 
of the bunch.  She got him to call me up (maybe to set me straight about
MALiCE <snicker>) and I asked him the million dollar question as well.

"Where is MALiCE??"

"Oh, I don't know.  Mike (Denizen) is such a dork.."

The conversation went on and Liquid Khaos proceeded to explain to me what an
idiot Denizen was.  He explained to me how he had met all the Euros on a trip
out there and how he had managed to recruit them into MALiCE.  They weren't
going to courier for them, just keep doing what they were doing (upload to
big boards) but put MALiCE somewhere in their user notes.  Denizen had some
deep-seated aversion with Macro Nit, going all the way back to some SKiLLiON
disagreement, so he told Liquid Khaos that Macro Nit was not in.  Liquid Khaos
also wanted to move the WHQ (or rather establish one) and he had gotten
Agents of Fortune to agree to become the new MALiCE WHQ.  Denizen cried about
the idea as well, saying that when he got his board up, he wanted the WHQ.
Keep in mind that at this time, Denizen had no computer, much less a board
set up, much less more than 1 line to use for the board.  He wanted to make
his little nonexistant one-node board the WHQ for MALiCE over a 6-node system
like Agents of Fortune (RAZOR US HQ, btw).  So, when I talked to Liquid Khaos,
he wasn't exactly waving the MALiCE banner too hard.  So, we talked a bit, and
he asked me the million dollar question:

"How is SWaT doing?"

"Damn good, we're raking it in and we're making a great name for ourselves.
We always have room for quality guys, though."

Well, if he hadn't gotten that hint, I would have been disappointed <grin>,
but right there, an idea was hatched.  Taking his resources and SWaT's
resources and combining them to put a courier group so high up that it
would be untouchable was an idea that appealed to us both.  So, we started
thinking of people who would stay and who would come over.  I needed an 
excuse to clean house in some areas of SWaT (coughcoughCANADAcoughcough)
and he wanted to gather up the best from MALiCE.  So I told him to think 
about it, call up Denizen and tell him he was leaving MALiCE, and we would
start working things out.

The next day rolled around.  I called up Liquid Khaos and I asked him if he
had talked to Denizen.  He said he hadn't, but he had talked to Disk Killer,
Potsie, and a couple of other people and they sounded very receptive of the
idea.  So, we basically decided we didn't need to call up Denizen and we could
go on without having to tell him that he was about to be short a group.  At
either rate, the understanding was that Denizen was out and wasn't going to
be a part of the plans of what we were about to form.

48 HOURS
  For the next 48 hours, I was either on the phone, running conferences, or
trying to do the little schoolwork that I had to do for my college Pascal
class.  No sleep.  We hammered everything about the group out, starting with
who was in Senior Staff, who the members were, who the couriers were gonna be,
what sites were in, what sites were out, and finally, the courier assignments.
The moment of truth came when we began discussing names.  Liquid Khaos and I
had decided that we would keep SWaT as the name, but the MALiCE guys that we 
had brought in began complaining about it.  After a 6-hour session of 
throwing names around like EMPiRE, LEGiON, and OU›12 (it was getting late),
we settled on The Regulators, named after Billy The Kid's gang.  I thought it
was ok, but the rest of the general populace didn't, but we thought it was
better than nothing.  We began procuring logos and pictures from iCE and 
ACiD people and thus the great campaign was about to start.  Then I began to
hear it:

"Where is Denizen"

"Who cares, he hasn't been around for a couple of months now"

"But we shouldn't go on without him"

"It's not his group, it's his people leaving.."

Denizen this, Denizen that, blah, blah.. it struck me as really stupid that
people would be mentioning this guy now.  He hadn't been around for the group
for a couple of months, and if MALiCE wasn't faltering so bad, I don't think
half the couriers would have been beating down my door to become SWaT 
couriers.  It was at this point that I began to get a little perturbed.  I 
plainly told people that Denizen would be of no use to us and he wouldn't be
an asset to a group that I felt already was getting a little too big.  I 
asked people what he could do for us, and the best response was that we could
keep our SKiLLiON ties good.  Big fucking deal, I thought to myself.  So, I
told people not to think about Denizen anymore.  Liquid Khaos was writing an
article for Lancelot ][ and he said he was gonna rip up Denizen.  I thought
it would be hilarious.  At any rate, after that was done, the group seemed to
get very solidified.  I told the SWaT guys that SWaT was regrettably no more,
but that The Regulators was the who's who of couriers and the HQ boards were
one of the better ever assembled.  So, most of the new couriers, although a
little disgruntled at me, lowered the SWaT banner in exchange for The 
Regulators.  

A GIANT WITH FEET OF CLAY
   All seemed extraordinarily well.  I got along great with just about 
everyone in the new group.  The senior staff was Liquid Khaos, Disk Killer,
Potsie, and myself.  The members included White Rose, Der Schatten, Ben 
Jammin, Lightning Hopkins, and a few more names.  Everyone seemed happy.
Word had travelled all over the world about the new group, although we had
not formally announced it to anyone.  We did the courier assignments and 
everything started rolling.  Then, once again, the D-word came up.

<message on my machine>
"Hey Paul, this is Disk Killer.  I got a message from Mike today (Denizen)
and I think we should talk to him.  Call me."

So I did.  We talked about Denizen and I once again asked him why he thought
he should be in the group and what he thought he could offer.  Disk Killer,
in his defense, didn't seem like he wanted him in the group.  He didn't
really give me a straight answer as to what he could offer, but he did tell
me that Mike had helped MALiCE out before and all that.  In my opinion, I 
think things got very confused as to the nature of the merger.  The MALiCE
guys thought it was MALiCE merging with SWaT, when in fact it was the best
of each group leaving their respective groups and forming something new.
There is a BIG difference.  There would have still been a MALiCE, but only
with Denizen in it.  Once again, I said that I didn't want Denizen in the
group and that was that.  Fine.  So now Denizen turns to Potsie, and Potsie,
Denizen, and I get in a little conference.  It was the first time that I
had talked to Denizen in over three months, mainly due to a lot of arguing
and a lot of lying from his part.  We talked and I was pretty nice with him.
He wanted to know who was in the group.  I read the names of Sr Staff and he
stopped me when I finished that off.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Where's my name in the group?"

"It's not your group and we thought we better go on with out you, Mike."

"But it's my couriers."

"But you're not active anymore"

It kinda escalated and I basically told him he wasn't in the group and that
any decision for him to be in the group was gonna be a decision between Sr
Staff and we'd get back to him on it.  In other words, it was going to have
to be snowing in the lower depths of hell for him to be considered to come
into the group.

Lemme pause here for a second and explain the deep aversion with Denizen.  I
was in MALiCE for quite some time, ever since the beginning in fact.  I 
couldn't complain about the couriers that I got.  I got people like
Steelheart uploading tons to me.  I was happy.  I got involved in the stupid
gay war between DESTiNY and MALiCE and finally went to MALiCE.  I talked to
Denizen a lot and I thought he was pretty cool.  Then I come to find out that
MALiCE money was all going to him, no one else was getting a penny but him,
and he was using the money to pay for his phone bills, ansi requests for his
nonexistent board (which I helped to set up 80% of it) and various other
"expenses".  Kinda ridiculous, I thought.  I suggested dispersing the money
throughout the couriers, but he laughed at the idea.  Then I started helping
him to spread stuff a little.  I grabbed some files off of a few big boards
and uploaded them for him to Dark Palace.  I thought, "hey, this courier
business isn't so bad," so I thought of forming SWaT.  I bid Denizen goodbye,
he called me a fool for leaving, and the rest was history as far as SWaT is
concerned.  Denizen and I talked and we had an agreement that I was not to
approach MALiCE guys.  It did not mean that they couldn't approach SWaT, which
they did.  So we took in some MALiCE guys and sites.  They wanted service, 
which wasn't being provided by MALiCE and which we were too eager to provide.
What pissed me off about Denizen is that he began to portray us as a bunch
of backstabbers to him (like Denizen is an extremely likable guy or something)
and that we were taking everyone's money and blowing it (we were dispersing
it to the couriers like I had suggested).  MALiCE was on the ropes, Denizen
was pissed, and we took over very quickly as #1.  But the badmouthing from
him continued until he moved out and dropped out of the scene for awhile.
Denizen totally destroyed MALiCE and I still can't believe these guys wanted
the idiot in the group.

ANYWAY, he stayed in the conference and people either blew him off, ignored
him, or said hello.  When he hung up, he wanted us to call him back, but I
didn't see a point since he wasn't in, so he calls up Potsie and whines to
him.  We all kinda laughed about it and I thought he was gone for good this
time.

The weekend rolls around and I basically wanted to go do other things (like
sleep a little).  I went to DragonCon here for awhile and didn't think much
about the group until Sunday night.  Everything seemed pretty good (again)
and the couriering finally had seemed to have gotten started.  I didn't
feel like babysitting the group.  I didn't really think much of anything
until Der Schatten calls me up.

"The D-word came up again."

"<groan>.. now what??"

"People still think that he should be in the group."

"<longer groan>.. I've fucking had with this shit."

So I call up Liquid Khaos, but he wasn't home.  So, I waited till Monday to
make some more calls and see what the fuck was up now.  But someone called me
first.  

The D-word

"Hey Paul.."

"Hey Mike..."

"Well dude, listen, since we are now Sr Staff in the same group I th--"

"What are you talking about Mike?"

"I'm talking about The Regulators.  I wanted to talk to you and see what was
going on with the group, with the money ((AHA!  The truth comes out..)) and--"

"You're not in the group."

"Yes I am.  Potsie, Disk Killer, and Liquid Khaos all said I was."

"I wasn't consulted."

"I don't think you matter."

"IS THAT A FACT?  Well Mike, I don't think it's snowing in Hell, so you're
not in the group.  We can always use couriers though."

The rest of the conversation was basically me yelling at him and reminding 
him that MALiCE went belly-up in everyone's eyes because of him, that he was
sorry, that he was a thief, and that he was pretty damn incompetent.  He 
hung up, which was my main objective <g>.  

I think it was around that time that I basically decided to end the charade.
If they wanted Denizen so bad, they could have him.  It's hard for me to
comprehend why people want to hang on to washed-up cheating relics which are
no good to anyone, like Denizen.  He cheated MALiCE, caused the group to go
down the tubes, got involved in a useless rag war with CETiS that just got 
him kicked off of FelonyNET and MALiCE couriers were begging to come over to
SWaT.  What these people thought they owed him is beyond me.  So, I called up
Disk Killer, asked him what the hell was going on, he told me he was trying
to avoid Denizen's messages.  In all defense to DK, I thought he was caught
between a rock and a hard place.  He obviously knew it was time to go on, 
but he also didn't want to burn the bridges between him and Denizen,
especially considering that Denizen was his CoSysop.  Potsie, I didn't get
to talk to him, but I get the feeling that Denizen was hounding him.  
Liquid Khaos didn't give a shit either way, but he wasn't exactly in the
Denizen fan club (remember WAY UP there he wanted to leave MALiCE anyhow).
Then I talked to a couple of the old SWaT guys, who had caught wind of the
D-word still coming up and they told me that SWaT needs to come back.  "Don't
fix it if it's not broken" was the extent of their words.  Looking back at
all the bullshit that had happened, 48 straight hours of conferencing and
phone calls, setting up sites, getting ansis done, and this Denizen bullshit
was frankly a slap in the face.  They didn't want a new group, they wanted
a better MALiCE.  They didn't want to tell Denizen to fuck off, which I do
understand, but I didn't agree with.  The SWaT guys were small in The 
Regulators, but we held all the cards, so to speak, so if we walked away,
we would have all the euros follow us.  And we'd have a little better grip
of the situation.  I finally decided to quit The Regulators and reform SWaT
early Wednesday morning on July 21.  The group lasted about a week and a
half and while it was around, it was probably the best one ever assembled.
But too many differences about Denizen made me feel like an idiot for going
through the whole thing.  A lot of The Regulators are coming to SWaT, so
it's going to be something run like the way The Regulators should have been
run, except with no bullshit.

ICARUS FALLING
   I saw SWaT almost like the Flight of Icarus for awhile.  We dared to
fly a little closer to the sun, to achieve the level of couriers that was
never seen before, one with the best couriers with the fastest warez to all
our sites.  The merger with MALiCE to form The Regulators nearly melted the
wings of our success to nothing.  Unlike Icarus, we're daring, but we're no
fools.  Denizen in the group would have caused discord, battle lines drawn
for an idiotic ego war where Denizen would have tried to establish himself
as some kind of overlord, just like he has done in the past.  It would have
caused a struggle no one wanted nor needed.  He is like a moth that flies
too close to a person.  He gets annoying and eventually it gets SWaTTed, 
pardon the pun..:)..
  I've learned from this, met people that I hope I'll continue dealing with,
because despite the seemingly deadness of MALiCE, there were good people in
it.  Liquid Khaos will be Sr staff in SWaT and we will set up SWaT the way 
The Regulators should be:  no bullshit, no triple-tier hierarchy of couriers
with big egos, just good boards with good couriers and the fastest warez we
can deliver.  That was the cornerstone of SWaT and it will continue that way.

HQ UPDATES
   Well, with everything that has happenned, it'd be a shame to lose some
of the stuff we have worked towards so hard.  Liquid Khaos and I will work
to keep The Regulator HQ boards.  So, tentivaly, these are the new SWaT HQ
boards:

WHQ:  Agents of Fortune--  This board has grown a lot over the last year and
it now serves as the WHQ for SWaT.  It is also the USHQ for RAZOR and WHQ
for those lovable Kiwis <g>.  If you haven't called in awhile, you're
missing out..

Canadian HQ: The Hood--  The board still rocks and we will be focusing all
our Canadian interests there... 

Courier HQ #1:  Alpha 2010-- The second fastest board in the US, soon 
expading to 10 nodes.  The staff is great, the people there are quality, 
and there is no bullshit.  One of the best ever.

Courier HQ #2: Dark Palace-- The soap opera between Escape Key and Torgall
reaches a fever pitch as Torgall gets deleted!!  :)  Stay tuned for further
details in "As the Palace turns...".. :).. really, though, 10 nodes, cool
warez, and cool SWaT people make this the ideal 2nd Courier HQ.  Get the
NUP from any quality board and get on!

Eastern HQ: The Elusive Dream-- The fastest overall board in the world.
'nuff said.

Western HQ: <looking, get back to me on it>

SITE UPDATES
   Man, with all the shit that went on this month, it's time for an apology
to all the SWaT boards.  I asked people to bear with me, and the warez went
dry for a few people.  Sorry dudes, we'll roll again in a few hours.  Stay
tuned, I might give you guys a discount next month...;)

   I should address The Regulator sites that were in MALiCE.  Sorry guys,
you're all out.  We're just carrying the SWaT sites that were in The 
Regulators.  Maybe Denizen will help you, but then again, did he ever?
If you guys wanna be SWaT sites, I'll consider a discount and we'll talk.

COURIER UPDATES
   All the Euros from The Regulators are coming to SWaT, since like I said,
we're holding the cards, if you catch my drift.  All remaining couriers 
carried over from The Regulators that were part of SWaT, please begin
uploading to your sites ASAP!   
   To all prospective SWaT couriers:  if you are considering SWaT as a 
courier group, please be serious about it.  We need people that are 
interested in getting and delivering fast warez.  Positions will be limited
and preference will be given to those with Dual Standards.  Download 
SWATAPP.ZIP from any SWaT HQ board, fill out the proper form, and leave it
in mail to me somewhere...I'll get back to you within a couple of days..
   While I'm at it, unless you're a huge courier, you don't get a member 
board, courier board, or anything affiliated with SWaT if you are a courier
and run a board.  If you want a site, you must talk to me about it and I'll
see what I can do.

MEMBERS
   We have a few members that are willing to work hard.  So far, it is
Der Schatten, White Rose, and Vapor.  If you were a member of The Regulators
(MEMBER, not courier) and you think you can actively contribute to SWaT,
get in touch with me or Liquid Khaos and we will see what we can do.  We need
people that are serious with helping with recruitment and zone management.
It is hard and involved work, but it pays off.

PICK OF THE MONTH
Warlords ][ has got to be the game so far.  I know Pinball Dreams just came
out but this game has me hooked.  It is a classic sequel to the great little
PC game that was out a couple of years ago.  You pick between around 8-10
knights and fight against the computer or up to 8 human adversaries to 
conquer lands and become the Warlord.  You can set difficulty levels so that
your computer opponents start out stronger in the beginning.

The greatest feature is the choice of lands to conquer.  You can play on
different fields, with unique races and warring knights.  You control a house,
which has heroes in it.  Your hero can go to different buildings, find allies,
receive blessings, or find magic items that aid in his/her quest to dethrone
the opponent.

Bored of the lands?  Conquered them all?  Just use the random realm generator
and create yourself a different land.  Dictate how many hills, town, forests
and mountains you want and the computer will generate it for you.  

This game is not to be passed up.  It is small (2 disks), but very enjoyable.
If you like strategy games, you'll be hooked on this game for hours.

CONCLUSION: A REGULAR RIOT

   This is the end of this month's SWaT newsletter.  For a change, this one
came out mighty early, but I felt it was necessary to put it out now rather
than wait until the end of the month and keep everyone in the dark about what
has happened in the past couple of weeks.  Next month's newsletter will cover
the sites and HQs more fully, and we hope to have a couple of little 
follow-ups on the aftermath of all this.  For now, SWaT rolls on bigger than
ever and now will gain steam move forward to bigger and better things.  It 
has been a memorable month and I hope that this newsletter has shed some light
on what exactly happened this month.  Until next month, keep looking for us
on quality boards near you.

                                                CyberChrist
                                                [SWaT Forever]
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Greets and Grunts, Heighs and Hos:

Der Schatten:  don't play poker with them cards..:)
Liquid Khaos:  how long was YOUR article?? <g>
White Rose:  Peace at last...:)..yeah, I kinda liked SWaT better too..
Disk Killer:  I wish things could've worked out... maybe Mike can help now..
Potsie:  I'm still gonna come and see you...:)
Snake:  If we have less couriers, you still wanna come over? :)
Spaceman Spiff, The Cardinal, and Mega:  Keep on rocking dudes, we're still
at the top..
Shadow Master: Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk... HEY MOE! :)
IceMan:  get some codes comma bitch!!


All The Regulator guys:  it's not too late!!  You can still join SWaT!
Denizen: Now you can run MALiCE again...
AT&T:  Thanks for that conference service!! m0wahahahaha

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
This has been a SWaT presentation.  If you wish to join SWaT and take part
in the best courier group ever, please contact download SWATAPP.ZIP and 
fill out the proper forms.  Then leave us a message on any quality boards
and we will get back in touch with you.

SWaT-- The final word in fastest warez

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