184 lines
9.3 KiB
Plaintext
184 lines
9.3 KiB
Plaintext
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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| just another mag + just another mag + just another mag + just another mag |
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+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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- jam 1 -
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- one week long -
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- by pip the angry youth -
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+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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| just another mag + just another mag + just another mag + just another mag |
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+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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thursday, july 25th
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i thought that starting up a journal would be a good way for me to get
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my thoughts out of my head, so here it is...
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i woke up late for work today (again), but they changed my schedule so i
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was actually an hour early... i sat around and waited to clock in... i
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went into the bathroom and took out my box cutter and began to finish
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the picture of the sun that i started on my leg... i pushed too hard in
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one spot and started to bleed a bit, but i put some toilet paper on it
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to stop it... i think someone was watching me... someone's always
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watching me...
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i think there's cameras hidden in my house watching me all the time... i
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don't know who put them there, or why... but i think that they're
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there...
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nothing much happened today at work, some guy at the deli that i go to
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cut his finger on the meat slicer... looked pretty bad, it wouldn't stop
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bleeding...
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on the ride home tonight i saw this asshole giving the hi-beams to a little
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old lady in a tiny mazda hatchback... i thought about how much of an
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asshole he was being... i got behind him and put on my beams for about 2
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miles... he switched lanes like 10 times, but he couldn't get me off his
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tail... i got off at my exit at the very last second so he couldn't
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follow me...
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i saw a dead cat on the side of the road about a block from my house...
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i pulled over to inspect it, played with its severed head for a bit...
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kicked it around... i thought it may come in handy so i threw it into my
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trunk... (i put my arm & hammer deoderizer stuff next to it to keep it
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from stinking up my trunk)... then i got into my house, took a leak, and
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started to write this...
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friday, july 26th
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got my eyebrow pierced today... it didn't hurt as much as i thought it
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would... it's kinda cool... i like to stare at it in the mirror when i'm
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bored... i'm bored most of the time... so i look at it most of the
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time... it has a weird color to it... like one of those metallic rocks
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you see in the mall for like a dollar...
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i also met a girl today... her name is summer... she's pretty cool, she
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rung me up at the supermarket... the kinda smiled at me when i pulled
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out my money to pay... i had a bunch of papers and stuff that i had
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collected from work, so i had to put it on the counter to get at my
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money... she thought that the godzilla traders card i had was cute...
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maybe she'll give me her number if i ask for it... i should get up the
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guts... she has such a pretty name, summer...
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i took a look at the cat this morning... it looked alright, but by the
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end of the day it was stinking pretty badly so i had to take it out of
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my car... i threw it into a ziploc bag and tossed it into the freezer...
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it's a catsicle by now i bet... i wonder if it still has thoughts going
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through its body... i now that there are no neurons firing right now,
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but i wonder if the soul is still around and experiencing what the body
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feels... i wonder if it knows that the body is cold... i wonder if it
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knows that it's even dead yet... that's freaky... imagine not knowing if
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you're dead or not?...
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i finished my sun carving today... it didn't turn out exactly how i
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planed it would, but it turned out pretty good... i wonder if summer
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would like it...
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saturday, july 27th
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i hate my boss... i got into two fights with him today... both over
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stupid things... he thinks that my eyebrow piercing is a little too
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extreme for the store... fuck him... it's my body, right?... i wonder
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what he'd say if i showed him my sun... he's freak... hahaha...
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he also got on my case because i came to work a little drunk... not
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really drunk... i had like 4 beers on my way to work (still have the
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cans in the car)... he said i smelled like a brewery...
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summer didn't work today... that kinda pissed me off... it's the only
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good reason for me to even go to the market anymore... why did she have
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to take today off? i was going to at least TRY to get her number...
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maybe see what she's doing after work... i'm so spineless i bet i
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wouldn't have been able to do anything...
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i want to quit my job... i hate my job and my life... i need a change...
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sunday, july 28th
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i could have sworn that some guy was tailing me all the way to work, he
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was wearing a pair of bluejean shorts and a black t-shirt... every time
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that i turned around i saw him... or at least i thought i saw him dart
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around a corner to avoid my seeing him... is he the one who's been
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spying on me?... is he the one who put the cameras in that i know are
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there?... you can't trust anyone anymore...
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since i got out of work early today i decided to go shopping for
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supplies... i did the typical food stuff shopping, picked up a
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cameoflaged shirt, black shoe polish, and a really cool knife from the
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cutlery store while walking around in the mall... i started to think
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about the man in the black t-shirt and started thinking about having to
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protect myself... i went to this guy i know who sells used guns and
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ammunition for them on the next block down from me... he had a .22
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pistol and about 40 rounds for it... he let me take it for 50 bucks...
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i thought it was an excillent investment... i wondered why it was so
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cheap, but with a guy like him it's best not to ask questions i guess...
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the gun holds 6 rounds at a time... five in the handle and one in the
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chamber... i keep it inside of my boot all the time now... you never
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know when you'll need to put a slug into someone...
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monday, july 29th
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i didn't see the person with a black shirt today... maybe he's calling
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it off for a bit because i saw him... HA!... i knew it...
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today was my first day off from work in a long time... i took advantage
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of this and pretty much did nothing all day... i played with the shoe
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polish a bit, smeared it all over my face just so i could get the
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contours right in case the need for it arised... it was alot easier than
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i thought it was, took me about 2 minutes to get it to completely cover
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my face... i think i look pretty cool with it on... probably pretty hard
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to see when i'm in the dark...
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i did alot of thinking today about work... i can't stand being treated
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like a piece of shit on some guy's shoe just becaue i make 5.05 an
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hour... fuck that... (i should watch my language)... i should stand up
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for myself once in a while i guess... but what can i do?... i'm almost
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the most meek person that i've ever seen... i've got to stop being so
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weak, i've got to be strong otherwise i'll be trampled... i don't want
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to be the underdog that everyone hits when they get angry... from now on
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i'm going to make myself tough...
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tuesday, july 30th
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i shaved all my hair off for the hell of it... i think it's more
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functional this way... i don't have to comb it, i don't have to use much
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shampoo or conditioner in it anymore... it feels like a puppy... i also
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tried something new... i take a fork and stick it into the flame on my
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stove... when it starts to get really hot i take it off and lay it down
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on my chest... the hair gets singed a bit, and the skin makes a cool
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crackling sound... but the pain is so beautiful... i want to try it on
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other parts of my body, but i'm scared... i can feel the pain making me
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stronger, more resilient to the blows that society tosses my way... i
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also made a second sun on my other leg, but this one was all in one
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shot... it hurt really bad, but barely bled... maybe one day i won't be
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able to feel anything... what could i do then?...
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i've decided to kill my boss today... he started to yell at me about my
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hair so i turned around and walked out the front door... he said
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something about writing me up... i guess we'll find out if the pen is
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truely mightier than the sword soon enough... i wonder if he realizes
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how little power he truely has over me... i guess my walking out
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constitutes quitting the job... oh well, i'll give myself one day to
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train myself so i'm ready to do what needs to be done... i'm really
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looking forward to thursday now... i had nothing to look forward to
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anymore... i asked summer for her number... she refused to give it to
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me... what a fucking bitch... can't she see that i'm a nice guy? can't
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she see that i'm really pure inside, that i want to do the right thing?
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why is she so BLIND... i want to care for her... i want to provide for
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her... i want to love her... but she won't give it to me... why?
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wendsday, july 31st
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i'm very tired... i did so much work today, making myself into steel...
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i can barely type this out... i'm going to bed...
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friday, august 2nd
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+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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| just another mag + just another mag + just another mag + just another mag |
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+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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email: duncan@digital.csionline.com
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duncan@alfheim.csionline.com
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