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T M M OOOOO RRRRR PPPPP OOOOO RRRRR EEEEE V V IIIII EEEEE W W
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MM MM O O R R P P O O R R E V V I E W W
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H M M M O O RRRR PPPP O O RRRR EEE V V I EEE W W W
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M M O O R R P O O R R E V V I E WW WW
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E M M OOOOO R R P OOOOO R R EEEEE V IIIII EEEEE W W
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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Volume #10 June 1st, 2003 Issue #1
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Est. January, 1994 http://morpo.com/
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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Contents for Volume 10, Issue 1
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Hand . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dean Kostos
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Spoken Under Hypnosis:
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An Earlier Life in Burma as a Woman Named Mi Aye . . Dean Kostos
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Exercises in Memoir or A Tarantula and a Bong
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Elise Bonza Geither
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The Bridal Shower . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kelly Ann Malone
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The Dark . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . jj goss
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Candlelight . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Amanda Auchter
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Mortal Nights . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Durlabh Singh
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To Die at the Springs of El-Hamma . . . . . . . . . Elisha Porat
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What became of us . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . W. Wessels
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Asleep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Keith Felberg
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Thunder on a Clear Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Eric Prochaska
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Tower 147 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . D.G. Harris
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About the Authors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Authors
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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Editor + Fiction Editor
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Robert Fulkerson The Morpo Staff J.D. Rummel
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+
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Poetry Editor Associate Editors
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Kris Fulkerson Lori Abolafia, Skip Ciulla
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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The Morpo Review. Volume 10, Issue 1. The Morpo Review is published
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electronically on a quarterly basis. Reproduction of this magazine is
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permitted as long as the magazine is not sold and the entire text of
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the issue remains intact. Copyright 2003, The Morpo Review. The
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Morpo Review is published in ASCII and World Wide Web formats.
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All literary and artistic works are Copyright 2003 by their respective
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authors and artists.
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ISSN 1532-5784
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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Hand
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Dean Kostos
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In the midst of glass
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he can't quadrate
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a mannequin's hand
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into its polystyrene
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wrist. He can't adjust
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its gesture.
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The square flange
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lodges in the wrist's square
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hole the wrong
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way, so the hand
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won't rest
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at hips
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(poised as if
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the mannequin
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stalked breezes,
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long hair scrawling
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toward a future),
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instead twists forward,
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agitated
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as if it could rip
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a hunk of flesh,
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as if it could
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strangle
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him.
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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Spoken Under Hypnosis:
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An Earlier Life in Burma as a Woman Named Mi Aye
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Dean Kostos
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Imagine stepping through a gate that is exit and entrance:
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Pass from who you are to who you could
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no longer be. What do you see?
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Pretending not to notice men's glances,
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I traipse, soles tasting soil.
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Filaments I embroidered
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into dragons entwine on the longyi skirt
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whispering across my calves.
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Lanterns yaw overhead. Pushed
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by the crowd, a soldier falls into me.
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The way a blade slices an envelope,
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he opens my silence.
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What does he say?
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He calls my eyelids suede seeds,
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my hair black streams. His arms gleam
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like leaves after rain.
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By candle-flicker, my hair scrawls calligraphy
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onto his chest. He leaves, but always returns
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until the moon no longer bleeds persimmon.
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My belly swells like a rice sack.
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While another life ripens, I grow
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thin. Can't eat. Food reeks.
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I'm a door closing, a door against.
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Not wanting to shame Mother,
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I spill air from my veils and sail
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into a ravine. In brief oblivion, my silks and hair
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tint a cut of sky. When spasms
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cease, she holds the baby: bald squab,
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flesh flinching against death. She wraps it
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in banana leaves,
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buries it by the creek.
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What do you see now?
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Mother wakes me with a bowl of rice
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but it looks like maggots.
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My arms go cold, my self coils
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from its core. I lift from flesh: pit from fruit. She
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spreads my cloths across her pillow, entombs
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her face in embroidered leaves. . . .
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What do you see after dying?
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Petals hover in hoof-smoke as a gold
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Buddha riding a gold throne
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sails men's shoulders on a palanquin.
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A basket swells with saffron rice; another spills
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pomegranates and lotus pods the color
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of oxblood. Binding my days to Eternity,
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an altar wears a swag of knotted ropes.
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A man tilts a mirrored disc-plate full of sky,
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a boy breathes into an oliphant,
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an elder thrums a boat-shaped harp; from its strings,
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dead ancestors sing me toward them,
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our words dissolve like gauze.
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Are you at peace?
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I can't say; peace no longer has an opposite.
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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Exercises in Memoir or A Tarantula and a Bong
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Elise Bonza Geither
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I'm not lying when I tell you his name was Ken Wolf. He was a senior
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theater major, had a single with a loft, a bong, and a tarantula. He
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had blue eyes, faded so they looked like reversed mirrors in his head.
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First time: I was sitting under the blue lights of the student-run bar
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smoking clove cigarettes. I was in that uncaring mood; classes hadn't
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even started. I could sit here and get drunk as hell. I could lose
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myself in remembering last year: beer and boys, my soft legs and feet
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tangled up in chairs and beds, one special boy I thought I loved. I
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was still sad over him. I still wondered if I had gotten pregnant if
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he would have married me.
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Ken came into the bar. He recognized me from last year. He'd been a
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friend of my boy. Ken bought me a beer. He bought me two and we just
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kind of looked at each other. The music thumped up and down in my
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belly. Ken leaned forward and said, "he wanted to marry you. But he
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asked us and we told him no. But he wanted to."
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My eyes filled with sugar-water. The tears ran down my face in
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rivulets. I held in a sob until I couldn't any more and it broke out
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of my throat like the cracking of glass on glass. Ken leaned back in
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his chair.
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Other kids came in and one guy started to rub my shoulders and say,
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"C'mon, c'mon. You're just drunk." I tried to say, "No, you don't
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understand. He wanted to." But I couldn't get the words past my
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throat.
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The music slowed down and Ken pulled me up by my arm and dragged me to
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the dance floor. I buried my face in his jean-jacket shoulder and he
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gripped me. Really held on like we were both in trouble, I'd like to
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say "drowning" but that sounds stupid.
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At that moment I didn't know about us, about my dreams of being a
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super hero girl and flying just to show Ken Wolf that he needed me. I
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didn't know he'd leave me for a girl we'd nicknamed "Death" because of
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her black hair and pale, China-plate skin. I didn't know that he'd
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say, "I wish I could tell you I was falling in love with you," and
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then I'd tell my mom, "He is falling in love with me." I didn't know
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how much he loved his room, his pot, his TV.
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At that moment, I was attached to him. We were like two small animals
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or one-celled creatures, like a flower and its petals. I was filled
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with pink lights. I WAS a super hero girl and we were flying up into
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the night sky. I could smell the summer night flowers and a tang of
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stale beer. I felt his fingers grip my waist. I wrapped my arms around
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him and squeezed harder. The tears stopped. I closed my eyes and
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watched the blue sparks from us shatter into the cold air.
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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The Bridal Shower
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Kelly Ann Malone
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As I wrote the name of the gift-giver on the back of a paper plate
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I couldn't help but think what a silly mistake
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No amount of tulle or pink lipstick can make this work
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Desire is an attractive but misleading motivation
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The bride-to-be is savoring her interim glory
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At her peak and never thinner, with an impressive tan
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Envious ladies offer gifts and praise
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A white confection with blush roses graces the table
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Undignified games produced intelligible banter
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How many items on the tray? Don't cross your legs!
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Cold-cuts and veggie platters along with a spinach dip
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The round thin mints in pastel colors tease the weight conscious
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guests
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"John and Jill forever" printed out on delicate white napkins
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She assumes if it's in writing, it will work
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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The Dark
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jj goss
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last night I ran out of white
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the kind in dark bottles
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and too soon I was dreaming
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of the glass stem cool and smooth
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as words overheard in the hallway yesterday afternoon
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dreaming of wine
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and a lazy slipping off
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of my skin and words that slide out without stumbling
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over clenched teeth
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over other people's voices droning through movies
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I've watched a hundred times before
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dreaming of the woman in the upstairs bedroom
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screaming at night until my ceiling cracks
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in a strangely familiar pattern her words
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creep in between my sheets in between the dreams
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I have of dreaming her face reflected in my mirror
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in the mirror and in the mirror again
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my face kept in clear uncolored glass so I can keep an eye on
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the level of emptiness
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so I can tell how much is left inside
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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Candlelight
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Amanda Auchter
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A match strikes. The white flame
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dips into an open mouth . clean,
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blank, sleeping. The black tongue
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curls upward in repose, rough edges
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cracking with soot, then flicker,
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spark, and rise. It is a quiet voyeur
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in a room, dancing upon walls,
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twirling shadows down curtains,
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across the floor, dark, light,
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passing over a face, a book,
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breaking into a half moon
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of yellow glare. The jagged
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fire bobs above the pool of wax,
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the sweat carving rings of age
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around and around, down, down,
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melting and then out, silent, gray
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ghost trails into the night, cough,
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sputter, spent.
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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Mortal Nights
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Durlabh Singh
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Mortal nights
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The wind with serpents
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The trees with stones
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And stars with dust bowls.
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The original nakedness of
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Being
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Cornered now with
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Vacuity of gaze
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Empty eyelids feebly abound
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With nettles of teared streams
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Mortal nights
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Full of secrets
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Full of arrows
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Freshly calcined
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In dust bowls the undertones
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Amid heartaches begin anew
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In seasons of whispered tones.
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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To Die at the Springs of El-Hamma
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Elisha Porat
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Down into the fichus boulevards at the springs of El-Hamma
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come the starlings, trembling then landing.
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The water is hot at the springs of El-Hamma,
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Yet night is more hostile than day.
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Layers of sand on those who landed before:
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Layers of sand cover their faces,
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The water is dead at the springs of El-Hamma.
|
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From great distances come the starlings
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Beating to these death-ponds: always they come.
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Who sends these birds to end
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In the booby-trapped springs of El-Hamma?
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They fly so urgently, with no chance or time,
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No time for life and no chance to learn
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If someone expects their return.
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The starlings are flying in to die in the seducer
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Springs of El-Hamma, poisoned by the salt.
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Fowl can't stop the soldiers, for their faces
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Are pointed into the earth. Oh, how easy it is
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To finish as a starling, and not as a soldier.
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translated from the Hebrew by the author and Ward Kelley
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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What became of us
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W. Wessels
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We walked the luckless streets through a strange city
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desperately searching for work in old ugly buildings
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blankfaced offices stared back at us
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scared secretaries tuned sharply to the comfort of smooth featureless
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phones
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wished us away
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static voices promised distant money when we left.
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By noon John's feet were killing him
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his cheap shoes surrendered to smaller steps
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we slowed down and ceased to joke about the borrowed suits
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our tired reflections scattered across countless blind shop windows
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I judged the few Stuyvesants in a crumpled pack
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weighed the change in my pocket
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traffic lights blinked nervously moments before rush hour descended
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we couldn't cross when the demon dark angel man cornered us
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in a
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brilliant move
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cars pushing home
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blocked our escape
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left us with
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no excuse
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when he held out his hand
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I stepped back said fuck off
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sensing heavy wings under a black coat
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two coarse growths beneath peroxided hair
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but he liked the jinglejangle of my coins too much
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and still persists those streets
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a ghostly reminder
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of luckless ones like us
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+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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Asleep
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Keith Felberg
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Light slid along thin strands of cobweb, and the morning sun poured
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through the green vineyards in the valley. He brushed the sticky
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invisible threads from his face, and walked the steep path towards the
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top of the hill. He breathed hard of the air that was stale and humid
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and had the pungent smell of earth. Plants flourished everywhere, and
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there were groves of small white flowers covered in dew. He could feel
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them brush damply against his bare arms as he began to sweat. Tall
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green hills rose on all sides and above them the air was bright and
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drowsy. There was no breeze and the odor hung thick in the stillness,
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strong and sickly sweet.
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He looked down the way he came, the path vanishing in the green, and
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then to a farm down in the distance where he heard a rooster crowing.
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She was sleeping down in the car. There was a monument there where a
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battle was fought in the Spanish American War. A tall stone stuck from
|
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the earth, and the ground glimmered with broken glass all around it.
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They had driven in the night, and parked when the sun was still cool
|
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and rosy on the horizon, and the air was crisp and fresh and smelled
|
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of eucalyptus. They watched the mist that settled in the valley, and
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the rolling green mountains that rose out of it. There was that potent
|
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beauty that comes when the eyes are tired of looking, or when the sun
|
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comes after watching the ghosts of places in the night, and the
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hypnotic rush of asphalt. They dozed in the car while tall palms
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swayed and swam in the gentle morning breeze.
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They rolled down the windows and the breeze came cool and lovely
|
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through the car. She leaned back in the driver's seat and closed her
|
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eyes. He stared out into the sway of the palms, and the deep sun
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lightened green of the hedges. It really was a fine morning. He leaned
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over and kissed her neck. She started at first: opened her eyes, then
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leaned her head back smiling.
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"That tickles," she said, and shut her eyes again.
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He pulled the strap of her gray tank top over her shoulder
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"Quit it," she said playfully and sat up.
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"I'm glad we came," she said.
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"Me too," he said, still feeling the dampness of her skin.
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"Do you remember when it used to flood by your house, and we'd race
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paper boats in the street."
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"I remember," he said, sitting up.
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"I miss it there," she said.
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He stared out at the flowers that shivered in the light wind, with the
|
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birds singing in the stale humid air, and the long shadows falling
|
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across the parking lot.
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"I miss how we used to just stay in bed in the winter because it was
|
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always cold and the wind seemed to go right through it," she said. "I
|
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remember being all warm and tucked in, and just listening to it howl
|
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outside."
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He still wasn't looking at her, but knew she was smiling, could hear
|
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it in her voice.
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"What's wrong?" she said.
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He blinked, then looked at her.
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"Nothing."
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"Do you want some water?"
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"No, that's ok," he said.
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"This one's still cold. I froze it before we left see," she said, and
|
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put the cold bottle of water against his cheek.
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"Stop that."
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"No."
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"Don't make me tickle you."
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"You wouldn't dare, we're in public."
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"You never though of this car as public before," he said.
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"What do you mean?"
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"You know what I mean."
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"That's it mister," she said opening the water bottle.
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The water was very cold and his shirt was halfway soaked, but it felt
|
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kind of good in the heat.
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"You win," he said.
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"I know," she said. "I always win." He leaned over to tickle her and
|
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she backed against the door.
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"No no I'm kidding I'm kidding," she said, and he sat up.
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"Are you happy now?" she said softly and almost scared.
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|
They were early at the park, and the sun was hot after the hike above
|
|
the monument, and there was that over-ripe taste still in the air.
|
|
Inside she wanted to see the birds, and pointed and smiled with the
|
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sun on her face. He told her they should ride the tram first, it would
|
|
be crowded soon. So they stood in the shadows of the trees and against
|
|
the rising leaves of the brush until the tram came. The sun was higher
|
|
now, and white, and their car was full of children. Some cried and
|
|
were unhappy, and stared sometimes out at the animals that roamed free
|
|
on the rolling green savannah. Sometimes their eyes were wells and
|
|
other times fixed, out past the shadows in the heat of the morning
|
|
sun. The little girl that sat next to him looked at him for a long
|
|
time, and he looked back at her. She had blond hair and blue eyes and
|
|
was about four. When he imagined having children, it was always a
|
|
little girl with blond hair and blue eyes. He didn't know why. They
|
|
rolled across the bottom of the long green valley, and tigers moved
|
|
lazily and catlike in the shade. They passed the last of the white
|
|
rhinos that laid like giant pale stones beneath a broad shaded tree.
|
|
The guide said there was nothing to be done for them. There were only
|
|
five left in captivity, and two in the wild. She said all the females
|
|
were past their breeding age, and they would be extinct inside three
|
|
years. He looked out at them a long time. They did not move, but laid
|
|
perfectly still and hot in the shade. He thought for a moment about
|
|
the last time he was in San Diego, and how they found a whale washed
|
|
up on the beach. It was long and grey like the sky above the water,
|
|
and they climbed over the rocks that were wet with rain to get near
|
|
it. Seagulls pecked at it, and they could see where they'd broken
|
|
through the thick dark skin to the pink inside. It was sad to watch:
|
|
those tiny scavengers picking apart that great animal that just laid
|
|
on its back with dead black eyes. The rhinos were like that, not on
|
|
their backs, but like stones, like they were already dead.
|
|
|
|
People gazed into the hard white sun with fading sour smiles, cameras
|
|
cocked, no wind. There was a woman in front of him: horse toothed,
|
|
wrinkled eyes, and just staring. They were just staring out at them.
|
|
None of them would ever see another alive again. Would they live on
|
|
vacation film? One last generation brought down from time immemorable,
|
|
to be gawked at by tourists in khaki shorts with sun burnt noses. How
|
|
could that be destiny. Their lives, such startling and beautiful
|
|
things, fierce and wild, but now just like stones, porous, unmoving,
|
|
flies swarming. The rhinos were colorless in the shade, and the harsh
|
|
whiteness of the sun. They were alive, but not alive. There in that
|
|
car full of people he felt unspeakably lonely for a moment, but just
|
|
for a moment and then it was gone.
|
|
|
|
He looked away from the horse toothed woman.
|
|
|
|
"Hi." Said the girl.
|
|
|
|
"Hi," he said.
|
|
|
|
His wife squeezed his hand, her eyes the color of corn flowers.
|
|
|
|
"Why do you miss my old house?" he said. "Don't you like the house we
|
|
have now?"
|
|
|
|
"No I do. It's just, I don't know, good memories."
|
|
|
|
There was water down in the gully and he could see the insects alive
|
|
in the sun. They walked over the boardwalks, and she gazed into the
|
|
water that was green muck, and at the birds that swam heavily through
|
|
it. It was very hot now, and too bright. He could see the giraffes
|
|
nibbling on the long slender limbs of the trees, and the children
|
|
pointing though the wire mesh of the fence.
|
|
|
|
They left the park and were very tired. It was early in the afternoon,
|
|
and he slept in the car and did not dream. He was almost awake when
|
|
they pulled into the hotel, on that pleasant edge of sleep, but he
|
|
kept his eyes closed so she could whisper to him to wake up, they were
|
|
there.
|
|
|
|
The air came cold and damp off the water even before the sun had set,
|
|
and now he stared out past the end of the pier to the darkening
|
|
Pacific. The ocean was always strange at night, a dark vacuum, with
|
|
the lights of the city pushing at its edge, and the sound of the waves
|
|
coming in. He looked up for the stars, but they were distant and weary
|
|
with the lights of the restaurant, and San Diego glowing not so far
|
|
away. They ate fried clams that were fresh and greasy and looked out
|
|
at where the ocean should be. He took a drink of the cold wine,
|
|
smelling the salt air, and the fish death smell of bait from where the
|
|
old men sat with their poles at the end of the pier. He looked up at
|
|
her, and she was just watching the darkness. She looked back at him
|
|
and smiled. People always smile when you catch them staring.
|
|
|
|
"How's your food?" she asked.
|
|
|
|
"Not bad," he said, watching her sip her wine.
|
|
|
|
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" she said, watching him with her full
|
|
beautiful eyes.
|
|
|
|
"The Rhinos," he said.
|
|
|
|
"The Rhinos at the park?"
|
|
|
|
"No."
|
|
|
|
"Oh you must mean the rhinos back at our hotel," she said smirking.
|
|
|
|
"The two left in the wild." He said, turning to the darkness where the
|
|
tide was coming in.
|
|
|
|
She did not speak for a long time, but it wasn't bad with the clams
|
|
and the crab in drawn butter, and the old men fishing in the night.
|
|
|
|
"I remember when you went to San Diego when we were in college, and
|
|
you brought me back that seashell nightlight you said you bought at
|
|
the airport because you didn't have time to shop."
|
|
|
|
He didn't speak, but just looked at her.
|
|
|
|
"You always used to bring me back little things when you'd go away,"
|
|
she said, and she was still smiling, but her eyes were sad. He'd
|
|
watched that look on her face before, the way a smile could ebb, find
|
|
its peak and then pull back just slightly.
|
|
|
|
"I couldn't afford big things then," he said.
|
|
|
|
"No, I didn't mean that," she said. "I loved it. I loved that you did
|
|
that. I loved all those things. Didn't you ever notice how I kept all
|
|
of them?"
|
|
|
|
He smiled sheepishly and squeezed her hand, and stared back out at
|
|
nothing. He felt sad now, but didn't know why. Gifts always made him
|
|
feel sad after they'd been given.
|
|
|
|
"I miss my seashell nightlight," she said.
|
|
|
|
"What ever happened to it?
|
|
|
|
"It broke when we were moving," she said. "I put it in a box, and then
|
|
when I opened it up again there were just the white shards of it."
|
|
|
|
"I could buy you another one," he said.
|
|
|
|
"It wouldn't be the same."
|
|
|
|
They walked up the beach in the dark ocean breath of the night. He
|
|
listened to the sand shift in their footsteps, the tide washing up the
|
|
shore. His eyes glided over an infinity of footprints dimpling the
|
|
sand, and the strange dark shapes of seaweed washed in by the tide.
|
|
|
|
He stopped though he wasn't really sure why. He felt his hand against
|
|
hers, closing on it, stopping her, moving it to the small of her back,
|
|
her feet turning in the sand. She opened her mouth in surprise, but
|
|
she was already against him, and he kissed her long and soft beneath
|
|
the starlight. It was funny too because he was thinking about the
|
|
winter in Korea, about waking from the cold in the dead of night with
|
|
a month's worth of pneumonia. He remembered about how the heat was
|
|
out, and he shivered and huddled over the blue light of a stove burner
|
|
for warmth, listened to Miles Davis, watched the light dance over the
|
|
empty liquor bottles strewn though the kitchen two days before
|
|
Christmas. She was warm and close against him. It isn't the loneliest
|
|
I've ever been he thought, and ran his hand through her hair, pulling
|
|
it towards him, down against her cheek, fingertips tracing her throat,
|
|
down against the edge of her breast.
|
|
|
|
"Not here," she said, gently pulling back. "There are people." All he
|
|
could think was she used to close her eyes, she used to tremble.
|
|
|
|
His eyes drifted, watching the facades of the houses along the
|
|
waterfront. Light came thin and latticed through the shut blinds, or
|
|
the windows were dark and uncovered as if no one was home. He imagined
|
|
people behind those dark open windows, sitting back against the
|
|
furthest wall, watching the night.
|
|
|
|
There was the veil, the silence: the almost purging drift of it.
|
|
|
|
"I don't know what to tell you," he said, and her not looking up, but
|
|
straight ahead and towards the sand, and him listening to it shift in
|
|
their footsteps.
|
|
|
|
"It's alright," she said evenly, and not hurt, and him not knowing
|
|
what to do or say ever when she started to lie.
|
|
|
|
"I'll be back before you miss me," he said, listening to the movement
|
|
of the sand again.
|
|
|
|
"When I was a girl I used to want to live on this beach," she said.
|
|
|
|
"But not anymore," he asked.
|
|
|
|
"No." she said. "Not anymore."
|
|
|
|
"That's alright we couldn't afford it anyway."
|
|
|
|
"It doesn't look the same as it used to," she said, and never lifted
|
|
her eyes from the sand.
|
|
|
|
In the morning they drove east, with the sun bright against the
|
|
horizon. They traced their way back along the same roads: all
|
|
different somehow, the desert flatness, the upturned boulders against
|
|
the road, and the white crests of dunes gleaming in the sun. All of it
|
|
seen before but from another angle, and the backward motion making it
|
|
seem new and eerily familiar at the same time. He did not speak, but
|
|
watched as they fell back through those landmarks with dry mouths, and
|
|
felt the hum and shiver of the road run in reverse till they came
|
|
through the glaring heat to places they knew. Farmhouse with the
|
|
rotted fence and green hills against the pines, the world he knew
|
|
materializing suddenly, snapping into focus the way it can when you
|
|
know where you are.
|
|
|
|
They turned the corner of the drive, the house seeming small, the sun
|
|
sloping through a break in the clouds. The engine sputtered to a stop,
|
|
and when the car door creaked open she stretched in the shade of the
|
|
pines. The air was clean and cool and tasted damp like it would rain
|
|
in the afternoon. He felt his lungs empty. There is never anything
|
|
like coming home.
|
|
|
|
He drank a glass of water, and put his tackle in the car.
|
|
|
|
"Be home tonight," he said, feeling the dust of Sonora as he pushed
|
|
his fingers through his hair. Her face still as he kissed it, and
|
|
still again as she waved from the drive, and he thought of the rhinos
|
|
sleeping far to the west in the hot shade of the afternoon.
|
|
|
|
Flowers tremble beneath the starlight. You remember how it was; dark
|
|
against dark, the still, shallow curves finding each other in the
|
|
night, the petals black and damp. You felt it then, in the turning of
|
|
limbs, in the quickening pulp of the heart. Don't feel love or the
|
|
slipping burning purity of any true thing. Do you still taste that
|
|
air, that fertile decay, bleeding its strange musk through the tram.
|
|
The heat of it gone like milky bowls of rice wine, or the skin taste
|
|
of salt, blossoms of apricot in moonlight. He watched the twin yellow
|
|
curves vanish beyond the headlamps and lose their color, the red of
|
|
the stones faded to nothing. The steep mountain roads darkened and
|
|
cool.
|
|
|
|
A haze of moon glowed through the thinning clouds, and he felt the
|
|
crisp fragrant darkness wrapped around him. It was comforting somehow,
|
|
the blackness, and the dreary silent rain that fell like sparks past
|
|
the streetlamps. He walked up the street in the cold gentle wind, and
|
|
the trees whispering with wet branches, and he could see the lights in
|
|
his house. He remembered he left his pole and tackle in the car, but
|
|
felt too tired to turn back. He opened the door, and felt a stirring
|
|
queasiness in his stomach. The lights were dim inside, but it was
|
|
pleasant and warm. He saw her, and felt suddenly weak, and hollow. Her
|
|
eyes had become heavy with sleep, and she stretched lazily on the
|
|
couch. He came closer, towards the fire, and felt its warm crackling
|
|
breath. She shifted silently on the fat white cushions, and curled
|
|
like a cat in the fire's flickering glow. The rain had stopped, and
|
|
droplets slid off the roof and past the window to the damp and curving
|
|
ground. He smelled the rain through the cracked window, and saw the
|
|
luminescent beads of dew that collected on the screen. He slid his
|
|
cold white hands underneath her, and lifted her gently into his arms.
|
|
She grumbled, half awake, but was soon relaxed and soft. She breathed
|
|
slowly as he carried her back towards the dark of their bedroom.
|
|
|
|
He couldn't see the clock, but it seemed he'd been lying awake for
|
|
hours. He wasn't particularly comfortable anymore, but didn't dare to
|
|
disturb her. He just kept looking at her, and secretly apologizing. He
|
|
told her silently I love you, I love you, again and again. He meant it
|
|
too. He stroked her hair, and in his heart thought of all the things
|
|
he could say to make things right. This was the only time when
|
|
everything seemed right, when she was sleeping against him. They
|
|
didn't fight or speak, they only loved each other silently. He closed
|
|
his eyes, and ran his fingers through her hair, and she kept her eyes
|
|
closed and pretended to be asleep.
|
|
|
|
+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
|
|
Thunder on a Clear Day
|
|
Eric Prochaska
|
|
|
|
|
|
For a moment, the sky showers thunder and I can't hear him breathing.
|
|
No heartbeat. Only the slight swelling of his chest, which lifts the
|
|
weight of my reposing head, lets me know he is still here, alive, with
|
|
me. The sky above is clear. Mechanical thunder from a jet, which I see
|
|
miles distant from its sound, lows through these skies often.
|
|
Supersonic: like a teenage summer love affair. Then the beating
|
|
resumes. Distant, but not like the jet. More muffled, as if hidden
|
|
beneath avalanches of barriers, trying to let someone know it is
|
|
there. The beating is quick, almost frantic. It's always like that,
|
|
even when he sleeps -- especially when he sleeps. Becoming desperate
|
|
in dreams, anxious in nightmares, I don't know. Maybe when he sleeps
|
|
his heart senses that somewhere in that inconceivable pile of
|
|
barricades there is a weakness, a path, and it clamors all the more
|
|
vigorously for freedom.
|
|
|
|
Do I only imagine that his hair, his skin, still exude that faint odor
|
|
of burnt motor oil, even on his day off? Waiting for him to wake, I
|
|
reach over lazily and put the Tupperware lid back on the container of
|
|
potato salad. So odd, that salad. Though I've always detested celery
|
|
in my otherwise smooth potato salad -- the way my mother always made
|
|
it -- as I made that batch I found myself slicing up the celery. Even
|
|
as I was slicing it I thought that I didn't really want it in my
|
|
salad, but I tipped the cutting board over the mixing bowl and pushed
|
|
it in with the flat side of the knife, all the same.
|
|
|
|
The residue of the watermelon like Velcro between my fingers annoys me
|
|
steadily, but I can't reach the cooler to dip my fingers in the
|
|
melt-water. So I just close my eyes against the steady sun and wrap my
|
|
arm toward his head, toward the hair I would run my fingers through,
|
|
if they were not so sticky -- if I didn't fear waking him.
|
|
__________
|
|
|
|
Shuddering abruptly, he awakes, forcing me sit up suddenly. It's
|
|
nearly three in the afternoon on another Sunday, and although I am not
|
|
working, I do not feel relaxed. I love his company, I guess, but
|
|
sometimes I resent not being able to just be alone with me. He sits
|
|
up, stretches a little, cracks his neck (I hate that sound), then
|
|
reaches into the cooler for a beer. The can makes that crisp breaking
|
|
sound when he opens it. He puts the can to his lips for a second, then
|
|
pulls it away with a look of disgust and spits yellow liquid onto the
|
|
grass, hitting the blanket we're on, too. "Warm!" he says, not yet to
|
|
me, but to the surrounding animals, people, and trees which certainly
|
|
have been awaiting his report. He tilts the can and impatiently pours
|
|
the beer into the grass, watching with a scourging glare, as if he
|
|
were punishing peasants for insolence. "Let's go get something cold to
|
|
drink," he says, for the first time acknowledging my presence, though
|
|
his eyes still haven't met mine. He gets up and heads to the car.
|
|
Shaking off the grass and bugs and crumbs with a few quick snaps, I
|
|
haphazardly bundle up the blanket, grab the cooler, and catch up with
|
|
him. He's always like this when he wakes up.
|
|
__________
|
|
|
|
He has more than one "something cold to drink." It is around seven and
|
|
he's not himself again. Or maybe this is his true self, and the sober
|
|
guy is an alias. Anyway, the beer has gotten to him, so we end up at
|
|
my place. With the curtains drawn, it's somewhat dark inside, so the
|
|
blinking red eye on the answering machine is prominent. As he heads
|
|
through the bedroom toward the bathroom I set the cooler just inside
|
|
the kitchen doorway, with the blanket on top, then kneel beside the
|
|
telephone table and press the "Play" button on the machine. The first
|
|
is just a wrong number, so I fast forward through the annoying tone.
|
|
As soon as the second starts, even before I hear the voice, I hear the
|
|
same wetting of lips that I always hear at the beginning of her
|
|
messages. So my finger skims across to the "Stop" button. Mother. I
|
|
don't need this now.
|
|
|
|
He's got sleep on his mind, but the last time his mind made a decision
|
|
for him was before puberty. He seems to think he has to give me the
|
|
lay-of-my-life every time we're alone. His front of super-confidence
|
|
is just a coating to waterproof his weaknesses, I know. There I go
|
|
again, pretending I can guess his psyche. Might as well guess people's
|
|
weight and age while I'm at it, and at least I could charge a buck for
|
|
the novelty.
|
|
|
|
So in his stupor he gets his pants off, but leaves his shirt and socks
|
|
on, and fucks me with his eyes open only enough to know it's still
|
|
light out. I can't say it's my favorite part of spending time with
|
|
him, but there's no sense in trying to stop him. That'd only spark an
|
|
argument about whether or not I like having sex with him, which I
|
|
usually do. Men are so fragile.
|
|
|
|
Before he passes out in sweaty exhaustion and relief, he moans
|
|
something about a perfect weekend. Maybe for him. Personally, I could
|
|
still use that dose of peace that's been on back-order. I swing my
|
|
legs over and get out of bed, covering him to the waist with the
|
|
sheet. How is it that he can't get himself undressed, but all of my
|
|
clothes are flung to the remote corners of the room? I take a white
|
|
button-down from its hanger in the open closet and I fasten the bottom
|
|
two buttons as I pick up my panties with the toe of one foot.
|
|
|
|
His mysteries seem so near the surface when he sleeps. His eyes become
|
|
gentle, forsaking the piercing glare always found there when he's
|
|
awake. His brow relaxes, and everything seems calm, inviting, tender.
|
|
. . vulnerable. I feel I could reach in and encounter that beating
|
|
something that so desperately wants out. Or extract one by one those
|
|
blockades, barriers, and battlements that permeate him. But I know
|
|
better. I only suppose I know what I'd find, but can't be certain.
|
|
It's only my fantasy. He's not mine to manipulate, anyway. Just a man.
|
|
Just a good time. Just someone who will leave, not because of me,
|
|
he'll say (although I know better), but "because of his job." Someone
|
|
who wants to be a lover, but not in love. Who wants to know my
|
|
everything, but does not know the meaning of "share." Who wants to
|
|
know my everything not because he cares, but because he supposes that
|
|
I want to tell him, and he wishes to humor my desires as long as
|
|
possible. Without remembering my favorite flavor of ice cream, or my
|
|
hometown, or why exactly I dropped out of college. Without caring who
|
|
the last man was, or when I plan to settle down, or why I cry when
|
|
that certain song is played. But asks me all the same, as if I had
|
|
some need to expose my soul to him before sleeping with him. As if I
|
|
needed to feel pain before pleasure, which, if it ever is pleasure, is
|
|
only fleeting, soon to be replaced by the longing that it truly is: no
|
|
more than a contribution to the scar tissue on my heart. Confusing me
|
|
me into thinking that he's sincere, that he's the first one who won't
|
|
leave. But leaving me with a lump in my throat some morning until he's
|
|
driven out of sight and I can cry like I need to. That's what I really
|
|
need to do: cry. Cry for all the bridges I've burned, always on
|
|
accident, so young in my life, and the mistakes I feel can never be
|
|
erased. Cry because he's just a man, but he seems so childlike, and I
|
|
want to help him, hold him more than anything else, and comfort him
|
|
and tell him it's all right, but I know I can't. Because he's just a
|
|
man.
|
|
|
|
I pull the door until it starts to get tight in the jam, then leave it
|
|
ajar that much so the noise of shutting it completely doesn't bother
|
|
him. If I wake him, there goes my quiet time alone. Stiff,
|
|
once-upon-a-time shag carpet now resists my bare feet more like a
|
|
cross-stitch piece which weathered a hurricane. Flat, matted patches
|
|
here and there among the overgrowth of wild yarn. Could it ever have
|
|
been plush, or anything less than abrasive? Rentals. Layers of other
|
|
people's paint; cheap carpet the landlord found at a garage sale
|
|
fifteen years ago; windows that don't open right or close securely
|
|
because of those generations of paint; smudges on the plastic frames
|
|
around the light switches and outlet plates -- some of which are white
|
|
and some beige; dust along the top of the baseboards, which are
|
|
typically the same color as the walls -- often white -- like they were
|
|
being weather-proofed or preserved together, and which further
|
|
foreground the dust because it's the only seam along the smooth scar
|
|
of accumulated paint from floor to rain-leak-stained ceiling.
|
|
|
|
I don't risk turning on the TV and waking him, but just put in a CD
|
|
and play it low. The answering machine's red numeral and blinking eye
|
|
plead for my attention as I pass, panties still in-hand, to the
|
|
kitchen. Sorry, but you just want to ruin my peace. No matter how
|
|
harmoniously I strive to accompany Annie Lennox, anyone within earshot
|
|
can only hear a timid woman with bare feet flat against the
|
|
non-acoustic grit of Linoleum in a kitchen with cupboard hardware too
|
|
rickety to pose as a sound booth. As the water heats up in the
|
|
microwave, I put on my panties and sit at the table, legs drawn up
|
|
from the cool floor. Tilting my head back, I capture the proper angle
|
|
and see in the rain-stain over my table the scene of a horse galloping
|
|
up a cloud of dust. When the microwave bell rings, I wish I'd stopped
|
|
it prematurely, just so as not to risk waking him. He'll be asleep
|
|
most of the evening, and then won't able to sleep tonight, but that'll
|
|
be his own fault. He'll whine about being too tired for work in the
|
|
morning, but I'll have slept right through the old war movie he'll
|
|
find on some cable channel, and I'll go to work fifteen minutes early
|
|
and won't have to hear about it.
|
|
|
|
Walking tenderly on the brown and gold pine needle carpet's worn path
|
|
back into the living room, I smoothly stir the spinning island of
|
|
cocoa under the water's surface. I could drink hot cocoa on an
|
|
Indonesian beach in August. It's relaxation in a mug, for me. But a
|
|
hot mug. So I set it on the glass-topped table between the rocker and
|
|
the rattan catalog-ordered couch that I hate. It looked so cozy -- and
|
|
was an affordable way to help fill up the living room -- but when you
|
|
sit in it, you're cast back so you can hardly get out of its
|
|
cup-shaped cushion. You have to really be planning on staying there
|
|
awhile to make it worth the effort of getting back up. The
|
|
dully-dust-coated magazine covers glance at me from their plastic
|
|
cubicles -- those milk-crate style, stackable ones -- but fail to grab
|
|
my attention.
|
|
|
|
Pulling the curtains open I see the breeze has picked up and is
|
|
buffeting the high wildflowers across the road. The walls pale to a
|
|
shadow of white as the sun falls behind a cloud. Even when the sun
|
|
reappears, the room stays somewhat dim because the sun is over the
|
|
trees now. The day is winding down. Through the sheers I watch the
|
|
neighbor's cat hop up on my car's hood to sunbathe. If I had clothes
|
|
on, I might open the door and scare it away. Then a couple walks by on
|
|
the sidewalk, looks toward the house, and I wonder if the man, whose
|
|
glance lingers, can see my breasts from there. Still, I don't button
|
|
up the shirt. Let them look. What would you say to that, Mother?
|
|
That's why you called, right? To remind me to straighten out my life?
|
|
Well maybe someone should remind you that it's my life.
|
|
|
|
Without purpose, I ease into the rocker. The sheepskin cover is matted
|
|
on the seat, but still softer than the carpet, and warmer than the
|
|
sleeping air around me. The kitchen clock's tapping both defines and
|
|
overpowers the taciturn ambience between songs. Lackluster. That
|
|
framed print has got to go the next time I move. I'm sure I thought it
|
|
looked fine before, but now its drabness (in fact, it's even cornily
|
|
drab, like a parody of dullness) dominates the wall, which would be
|
|
more interesting with only the nail's own shadow hanging in lieu of
|
|
the picture.
|
|
|
|
Jesus, it's exhausting trying not to look at that damned little red
|
|
light. Come, come, come, come, come, come, come, its patient mantra
|
|
repeats like blown kisses. No, no, no, no, no, I think, picking up the
|
|
cocoa, giving it a last swirl and hugging it near my neck to feel its
|
|
warmth.
|
|
|
|
On top of the stacked milk-crate shelves lies a letter, collecting
|
|
dust since Thursday. If I don't read it another will come, and when I
|
|
don't read that one either Mom will call to see if I received them.
|
|
She'll give me the same lecture over the phone as in the letter. So I
|
|
know that reading it and writing back would be the easiest way, but
|
|
maybe if I ignore it long enough the words will become bored and
|
|
entertain themselves by re-arranging into sentiments that wouldn't
|
|
offend or agitate me. They'd talk about the weather, and the Senate
|
|
race, and the new sit-com on Tuesdays. But nothing about me. No
|
|
pointed, wiggling fingers, cataloging whatever might be wrong with my
|
|
life and the way I live it. Let's face it: such neutral words will not
|
|
likely come from her pen. Not until I've been canonized will the words
|
|
be benign. In the meantime, all is malicious.
|
|
|
|
She doesn't even know about him. But she's seen them come and go and
|
|
can guess. But I'm twenty-six years old, damn it, and I have a right
|
|
to have sex. What would you say to that, Mother? Would you lecture me
|
|
on the benefits of chastity?
|
|
|
|
No. I suppose not. That's not your style.
|
|
|
|
So what? Should I write you back? That'd be easier than calling you.
|
|
But calling would get it over with sooner. I could just pick up the
|
|
phone right now, dial you up and say, "Hey, Mom, what's your problem?
|
|
Why do you think there's something wrong with my life? Because I don't
|
|
go to church anymore? Because I dropped out of college? Because I'm
|
|
having sex? Come on. What disappoints you the most about my life?"
|
|
|
|
And what would she say? Would she critique every mistake I've made
|
|
over the last few years? No, she'd be reserved. "Honey," she might
|
|
say, "we all make decisions we regret."
|
|
|
|
"But they were my decisions," I'd say. "It's none of your business.
|
|
Why do you think I'm not happy? I have a nice place here." She'd never
|
|
know it's only half true: she's never been to visit. "I have a good
|
|
job at the trucking company. Not every college drop-out -- or
|
|
graduate, for that matter -- becomes the assistant director of public
|
|
relations for a national trucking company in only two and a half
|
|
years."
|
|
|
|
And she'd say . . . well, she wouldn't cut me down. She never tried to
|
|
cut me down. She'd say something like, "I know that, Dear. I've been
|
|
hoping for the opportunity to tell you how well you've done."
|
|
|
|
Then I'd want to tell her she could have just called anytime, but she
|
|
knows as well as I do that it's me who won't return her calls. So I'll
|
|
drop that one.
|
|
|
|
"Is it college, then? Are you disappointed that I dropped out? Is that
|
|
it? Well it wasn't a total waste, you know. I can go back anytime I
|
|
want to and finish. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I
|
|
might take some night classes," I'd say.
|
|
|
|
Still, she'd be understanding. "That sounds like a good opportunity
|
|
for you, Dear," she might say.
|
|
|
|
"So," I'd say, "are you upset about my personal life? I know you wish
|
|
I'd get married, but I'm just not ready. So maybe the guys I date
|
|
aren't husband material, but someday I'll change and the right kind of
|
|
guy will come along. But why can't you accept that? Is it the church?
|
|
Is it all that chastity bull that the Bible goes on about? Well,
|
|
that's your god talking, Mother."
|
|
|
|
"My god?" she'd clarify, and I'd know I had her. "Honey, God is the
|
|
same. For all eternity. He doesn't just go through phases like us."
|
|
|
|
And I'd be ready for her. "That's not true," I'd say, calmly. I'd want
|
|
to frustrate and flabbergast her with this one. "God's changing all
|
|
the time. A few hundred years ago, women couldn't be ministers, but
|
|
now they can be."
|
|
|
|
"Honey," she'd say, too patiently for me to believe she was just
|
|
trying to keep her temper -- so much it would make me want to chew the
|
|
phone cord in half, "that's not God changing. That's people's minds.
|
|
Yes, women can be ordained now, but skirt lengths have also changed in
|
|
my lifetime. And even though our society has, for the most part,
|
|
evolved into acceptance of these new ideas, that doesn't mean anything
|
|
in relation to the immutability of God. Next year skirt lengths will
|
|
probably change again. And the death sentence and abortion and drugs
|
|
and the purpose of education will be hotly debated until after I die,
|
|
too. But even if everyone suddenly agrees and the debate ends, it
|
|
doesn't mean the solution was right or wrong -- not on any universal
|
|
level. It just means we've reached consensus. And consensus is not
|
|
Truth: it's merely justification."
|
|
|
|
And then I'd hang up. In my mind, at least. She always has to be
|
|
right. And using words like "immutable." She'd change this into a
|
|
religious discussion when it's really just about me living my life.
|
|
__________
|
|
|
|
Drinking the cooling, last thick bit of cocoa, I take the mug to the
|
|
kitchen and place it gingerly in the sink. As I return to the rocker,
|
|
I pick up the phone and pull the slack cord from around behind the
|
|
table, resting the phone in my lap, then closing my eyes to the music.
|
|
One of those planes goes over and until the jet is ten miles away the
|
|
only sound is the bombardment of waves of nothing against the ground
|
|
-- like intentions tumbling and smashing from hopeless heights. I've
|
|
missed part of my favorite song, but it doesn't matter: I have the
|
|
feeling I'll be sitting here long enough to hear it come around again.
|
|
I don't want to be in there, with him, not now. I don't want to go
|
|
anywhere, do anything. Just sit and think about nothing, not even
|
|
memories, and let things fall into place invisibly while I'm totally
|
|
unawares. It takes doing that every now and then to keep going.
|
|
|
|
The sounds of him getting up, then a groan as he goes to the bathroom
|
|
without shutting the door because he never shuts the door. I crane my
|
|
neck and see him emerge from the bathroom in only his t-shirt now,
|
|
pausing long enough to put some underwear on and open the window for
|
|
the cool breeze before going back to bed. He'll be out all night.
|
|
|
|
Of course she'll call back. Leaving a message on a machine wouldn't
|
|
satisfy her, and it doesn't tell her what I'm thinking. So go ahead
|
|
and ring. I have some wisdom for you, too, Mom. You see, no one has
|
|
what they want now. You have to be patient, because good things come
|
|
to those who wait.
|
|
|
|
+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
|
|
Tower 147
|
|
D.G. Harris
|
|
|
|
|
|
Murray picked up a bottle of Knob Creek. He sat it back down on the
|
|
dusty wooden table. He had on a heavy fur lined down jacket, and still
|
|
the cold got in. Rob unscrewed the cap and took down a healthy glug.
|
|
|
|
"Damn, that's good."
|
|
|
|
"There's another, and a case of beer," said Murray. "Been saving the
|
|
whiskey for something special, but I figure that ain't no more special
|
|
occasion than tonight."
|
|
|
|
Rob winced slightly on the words. He had another hit. He stared out
|
|
through the tower screen, out over the endless vista of cold green
|
|
sunset Oregon forest way out to the distant cascades.
|
|
|
|
"How long you been a smoke spotter?" asked Rob.
|
|
|
|
Murray kicked his feet up on the edge of the table. He scratched at
|
|
his beard. "Oh, let's see now, this is my 9th season working for the
|
|
park service. Worked for the BLM in Idaho a few years before that.
|
|
Only job I ever heard of where you can sit around and get stoned. If
|
|
you can handle not seeing hardly another human being outside of the
|
|
general store over in Ashland for months on end. It's a pretty fair
|
|
deal."
|
|
|
|
"I done this for 3 seasons myself and I don't mind them putting 2
|
|
people to a tower now one bit. Gets boring staring out at that sea uh
|
|
wood all day long. Nice to be able to share the load with someone
|
|
else."
|
|
|
|
"Seems stupid to me," said Murray. " I done called in about 30 fires
|
|
in my 9 seasons. The way I figure it, you don't have to be looking out
|
|
hardly at all. Seems to me once you been doing it a while that you
|
|
just get the feeling. You could be taking a piss over the tower edge
|
|
facing the wrong way and you'd just know there was something sneaking
|
|
up from the other direction. You'd feel it. You could be asleep. You
|
|
could be stoned into a coma and you'd know."
|
|
|
|
"Maybe I just ain't done it long enough," said Rob.
|
|
|
|
"Yeah, maybe so."
|
|
|
|
Rob checked his watch. "It's a quarter to 7. Sun will be heading down
|
|
soon. You think we'll see it when it happens?"
|
|
|
|
Murray sighed. "We'll see it." He stood and stepped to the downstairs
|
|
ladder. When he returned he had more beer. "Let's see how many of
|
|
these we can kill before it happens."
|
|
|
|
Rob didn't say anything. He popped a beer and took it all down. Murray
|
|
did the same. Dozens of moments passed in silence.
|
|
|
|
"You think it'll hurt?" asked Rob quiet.
|
|
|
|
"Too quick. Don't think it will a bit."
|
|
|
|
"You gotten hold of anybody on the Ham?"
|
|
|
|
"Not since yesterday morning," said Murray. "But the last regular a.m.
|
|
broadcast said it be up our way about 7 tonight. A few minutes till.
|
|
That was yesterday morning too. Ain't been nothing but static over the
|
|
ham or the radio since then."
|
|
|
|
Rob closed his eyes but aimed them at the ceiling. "They're all gone,
|
|
ain't they?"
|
|
|
|
"Yep," replied Murray. Like a sigh. Like a leaf fallen down slow from
|
|
somewhere way high.
|
|
|
|
"Who woulda thought," began Rob. "Who woulda thought."
|
|
|
|
Murray lit up 2 smokes. Handed one to Rob. "Man fucks around," said
|
|
Murray. "Makes things that even nature can't. Man's always fucking
|
|
around."
|
|
|
|
Rob picked up a pair and poured both into him. Murray drank the beer
|
|
slow, but finished off the good stuff quicker.
|
|
|
|
Robs head began to float. "I ain't gonna look."
|
|
|
|
"You wont have to. You'll know anyway."
|
|
|
|
"It's coming up on 7."
|
|
|
|
"Yep."
|
|
|
|
Rob picked up and quickly drank down half the 2nd bottle of the Creek.
|
|
He immediately puked all over the floor.
|
|
|
|
"Man, you got to slow down."
|
|
|
|
"Ain't no time to slow down."
|
|
|
|
Murray watched smoke rings blur up and around the lone bulb hung from
|
|
the ceiling. A rush of wind breathed through the far off forest. He
|
|
sat up."It's here."
|
|
|
|
Rob stiffened. His eyes burst wide. "What? How do you know?"
|
|
|
|
"It's like a clear fire. Like invisible smoke. And it's moving in
|
|
fast. Real fast."
|
|
|
|
Rob looked out. He looked at his hands. He looked at his boots. "I
|
|
can't see it. Don't want to see it."
|
|
|
|
Murray finished off the 2nd bottle of sweet brown. "I like drinking,"
|
|
he said. "Always liked being alone. Don't dig people all that much.
|
|
But Rob, I'm glad you're here."
|
|
|
|
Now, Rob could hear it. Now he could know it. He tried to light a
|
|
smoke trembling fiercely.
|
|
|
|
"Here, let me," offered Murray.
|
|
|
|
The forest began to bend. The trees began to be skeletons. They began
|
|
to be dust. They were dust.
|
|
|
|
Ferns in the understory withered and blew apart. A slight fog came in,
|
|
between the trees and everything.
|
|
|
|
"Here it comes," said Murray. "Just like a fire.
|
|
|
|
Rob stood and stood at the opposite tower screen, facing away.
|
|
|
|
Murray was watching. "Look at that baby come. Saw a fire move once
|
|
like this. Only once. Had this storm of summer wind to push it.."
|
|
|
|
The moss hanging on the eaves began to wither and break up. Rob heard
|
|
a gurgling sound behind him. A bottle crashed to the floor. He winced.
|
|
He just didn't want it to hurt.
|
|
|
|
|
|
+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
|
|
About the Authors
|
|
|
|
Amanda Auchter currently works as an editorial assistant at the Gulf
|
|
Coast literary magazine. She is completing a degree in creative
|
|
writing from the University of Houston.
|
|
|
|
Her writing credits include poetry and short stories in Benchmark,
|
|
Carillon Magazine, Coffee Press Journal, The Moriarty Papers, Rearview
|
|
Quarterly, Red Booth Review, Shadow Voices, Southern Ocean Review, The
|
|
Wolf Head Quarterly, Wilmington Blues, Write On!!, and others. She has
|
|
also published with Sun Poetic Times, who selected lines from her poem
|
|
.Omniscience. to appear in the 2003 Poets Market. She has published a
|
|
novel, Burning Sins to Ashes (2000, Writer's Club Press) and has won
|
|
several awards for journalism and personal writing, and was a 2001
|
|
Helios featured poet. At present, she is at work on a second novel.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Keith Felberg was born in Kodiak, Alaska in 1976. His father was a
|
|
Bush-Pilot and a Game Warden, his mother a teacher. More recently he
|
|
has spent time in the South-West, Europe, and Asia. Currently writes
|
|
music for his band projectmajestic.com, and teaches English.
|
|
Enjoys Travel, Music, and Binge Drinking.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Elise Geither has had poems published in The Mill, Slant, The Artful
|
|
Dodge, Whiskey Island, and The Blue Review, among others. Her short
|
|
plays, "Zephyr House" and "The Poet's Box" were produced in 2001.
|
|
"Zephyr House" was a finalist and placed at Lamia Ink! in NYC. Her
|
|
experimental play "The Angel - A Poetic Interview" received a staged
|
|
reading at Cabaret Dada's Black Box Theatre in Cleveland. In November
|
|
2002, Elise traveled to Fuling, China, to complete the adoption of her
|
|
daughter, Chloe. Elise continues to write and teaches at
|
|
Baldwin-Wallace College. "Inspiration is in the poets around us."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
jj goss resides with her husband in central Massachusetts. Her work
|
|
has appeared or is forthcoming in publications such as Happy, The New
|
|
England Writers Journal, Net Authors E2K, Babel, Branches Quarterly,
|
|
Amarillo Bay, Lummox, 52%, Copious Lightening Bell, Writer's Monthly,
|
|
Poetry Superhighway, Entropic Desires, Red Booth Review, Sometimes
|
|
City, Seeker, Kimera, Eclectica, Blindman.s Rainbow, Unlikely Stories
|
|
and Slow Trains. Her short story, "Missing a Beat," was nominated for
|
|
a 2001 Pushcart Prize.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
D.G. Harris writes in bars and has been doing it for the last couple
|
|
of years. He's gotten a few hundred works knocked out in late night,
|
|
smoke laden rooms. In his words, "It really is the only way." He was
|
|
born and raised in So. Cal., and he's just hoping to stay alive or at
|
|
least keep off the streets long enough to make a little cash. "It's a
|
|
tough profession in a tough world. But it's the only one to be in. In
|
|
the mean time I'll light up a smoke, have another beer, and see if I
|
|
can get this damn pen to put out one more."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dean Kostos is the author of the collection The Sentence that Ends
|
|
with a Comma and the chapbook Celestial Rust. He co-edited the
|
|
anthology Mama's Boy: Gay Men Write about Their Mothers, a Lambda Book
|
|
Award finalist. His poems have appeared in Boulevard, Chelsea,
|
|
Rattapallax, Southwest Review, Barrow Street, Poetry New York, Oprah
|
|
Winfrey's Web site Oxygen, Blood and Tears (anthology) and elsewhere.
|
|
His translations from the Modern Greek have appeared in Talisman and
|
|
Barrow Street, his reviews in American Book Review, Bay Windows and
|
|
elsewhere. "Box-Triptych," his choreo-poem, was staged at La Mama. He
|
|
has taught poetry writing at Pratt University, Gotham Writers'
|
|
Workshop, Teachers & Writers Collaborative and The Great Lakes
|
|
Colleges Association.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Kelly Ann Malone is the mother of three active boys. She also has a
|
|
wonderful husband and a full time job as a Project Analyst in a Cancer
|
|
Research Department in the health care industry. She has been writing
|
|
since she was around twelve years old. Her poetic influences are Ogden
|
|
Nash, Dorothy Parker and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Some of her
|
|
published credits include York University's School of Women's Studies
|
|
Journal, Cappers Magazine, The Rearview Quarterly, The Penwood Review,
|
|
The Wesleyan Advocate Magazine, Free-Verse Magazine, The Street Corner
|
|
magazine, Promise Magazine, Poems Niederngasse.com and Pulsar Ligden
|
|
Poetry Society.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Elisha Porat, the 1996 winner of Israel's Prime Minister's Prize for
|
|
Literature, has published 17 volumes of fiction and poetry in Hebrew
|
|
since 1973. His works have appeared in translation in Israel, the
|
|
United States, Canada and England. The English translation of his
|
|
short story collection The Messiah of LaGuardia, was released in 1997.
|
|
His latest work, a book of Hebrew poetry, The Dinosaurs of the
|
|
Language, was recently published in Israel.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Eric Prochaska teaches English in South Korea. "Thunder on a Clear
|
|
Day" (Volume 10, Issue 1) is part of a collection started several
|
|
years ago and recently completed. Aside from The Morpo Review, Eric's
|
|
short stories have appeared in such places as InterText, Eclectica,
|
|
Wilmington Blues, Fictive, Comrades, ReadTheWest, The Sidewalk's End,
|
|
Palimpsest, Dakota House Journal, The Tumbleweed Review, The Woolly
|
|
Mammoth, Split Shot, and Moondance.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Durlabh Singh is a poet based in London, England and has been
|
|
published widely in anthologies, magazines and in e/media.
|
|
|
|
He has four books of verse published, the latest being CHROME RED
|
|
(ISBN 1898030464) His aim is to revitalize English poetry with new
|
|
expressions.
|
|
|
|
+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
+------------------------------------------------------------------------+
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Addresses for The Morpo Review
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submissions@morpo.com . . . . . . . . . Submissions to The Morpo Review
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editors@morpo.com . . . . . . . . . . . . Reach all the editors at once
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To receive the current submission guidelines for The Morpo Review, send
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a message to guidelines@morpo.com and you will receive our guidelines
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shortly thereafter.
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Our next issue will be published September 1st, 2003.
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