211 lines
9.6 KiB
Plaintext
211 lines
9.6 KiB
Plaintext
MONEY INCORPORATED DIGEST #46
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RELEASED 8 MAY 1995
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WRITTEN BY SLEEPY
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MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY
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SONIC FURY
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CCRIDER
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THE BIG CHEESE
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JULIO
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ORGASMIC ANOMALY
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SEXECUTIONER
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TODAY'S TOPIC: LIKE STEALING CRACK FROM YOUR SISTER, OR THE ABC'S OF FRAUD
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PART ONE OF TWO:
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So you say, "I suck and I wanna be like those K-Rad 3133+ d00ds in Money Inc."
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Well, I can understand that. If I were as lame as you I'd want to be like
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me too. Well, this is your lucky day. This file has 26 different cons, one
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for each letter. How cute, huh? Well there is a point to this. First is
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to make you aware of these so that some asshole doesn't take your hard earned
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cash. Second is to let you know how to make money off dumb assholes like you
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were before you read this article.
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The scams here are mostly telemarketing, which is THE LARGEST scam in the
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world. Believe me, NEVER buy from someone on the fone. And if you wanna get
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rich quick, and almost legally...this is the way to do it. Now, without
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further ado.....THE MYC GUIDE TO THE ABC'S OF FRAUD!
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$ A - The Alzheimer's Scam $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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This is the one of the coolest of these scams, cuz it preys on the weakest
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segment of old people, Alzheimers' patients. Basically you call up the
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person, talking about his life. Write down everything he says, then call
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back a few days later, and ask about these items. If he forgets stuff,
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then hit him hard....
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"Joe, this is Sleepy...where is the $25,000 check you agreed to send me?
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You know, the oil well investment?"
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Out of embarassment, the mark will send the money 9 times out of 10. Easy
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cash!
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$ B - Bank examiner hoax $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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Basically you call the person and act like you are examining fraud in the
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bank. Tell the person that since they're such a good customer, you want
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them to go withdraw money from a certain teller and hand it over to you
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outside. "This will help us catch the teller who's handing out counterfeit
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bills to customers...." Kinda lame, but you wouldn't believe how stupid
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some people are.
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$ C - Curse Pitch $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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This one preys on stupid old women. You act like a fortune teller and
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approach an old woman, possibly at bingo. Make friends with her and
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tell her that there's some sort of curse on her. To destroy the curse, she
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must bring you a certain amount of money, arranged in a certain order. Say
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50 twenty dollar bills, or some shit like that. Then you instruct her to
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take a handkercheif from you and tie the money up. Meanwhile you have
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another handkerchief filled with cut paper. Using slight of hand, switch
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the two and burn the fake money. Then claim the curse is lifted, and she
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can go free. Refuse any payment, since you were SUPPOSED to be doing a
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favor....besides, money's evil right? >:>
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$ D - Defective Medigap Insurance $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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This will give you a chance to work with selling skills. First, call some
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old person up and start talking about some new law that is gonna lower
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medicare benifits. Never mention selling anything, and deny any questions
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about selling something. Somehow get an appointment to go to the person's
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house and sell them a Medi-Gap insurance policy. What this is supposed to do
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is cover any gap in the medical bills that medicare doesn't pay. Make up
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some long form and make it as official as possible. Use high pressure
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tactics if necessary, they work on old folks.
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$ E - Equity Skimming Scam $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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This one takes advantage of people who are about to lose their homes due to
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forclosure or some such misfortune. All you have to do is offer to take the
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mortgage over and offer to pay back payments and shit. Then rent out the
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house and never pay anything. By the time the house is forclosed on, you
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will have made a pretty penny!
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$ F - Free Car Bamboozle $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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Ok, this one works. Since people like to win things, you call up some old
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fuck and say, "Hey you just won a 1995 Cadillac Seville!" Then you talk to
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him for a while and say "My secretary will call back tomorrow with all the
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details..." Let the idea of a new car soak in, and call back the next day
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asking for $1000 or so for "gift tax." If they won't pay, accuse them of
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trying to cheat the government or something. Then send an overnight courier
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the next day for your cash....it'll be there!
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$ G - Get rich quick pyramid scheme $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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This is a simple chain letter scheme. All you have to do is send a letter
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saying: "All you have to do is pay $200 into the plan, recruit five others,
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and within weeks you will be getting checks from people all over the
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country. Hard to believe? I am the biggest sceptic around, and I
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didn't belive it at first either. But within two weeks I made $4,400 in
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cash." Pretty lame scam, but if you send it to enough people it WILL work.
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Make sure you have an alternate ID for this one, the cops hate it and will
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get ya if you're not careful.
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$ H - Home Repair Swindle $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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This one is for people who like to do a little work for their money. Just a
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little. Basically, you go to an old person's house and say: "I have been
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working down the street the last few days, and I could help but notice that
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your roof/driveway/lawn/whatever needed some work. Since I have some
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leftover materials I can do such and such for 1/2 price. How about $500?
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Ok, I'll get right to work" You then work for about an hour and then leave
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for "more supplies." Never go back.
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$ I - I'll fix your rusty bumper scam $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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This one's too easy. Find an old person in a parking lot, and offer to fix
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their old rusty bumper on that old car. Claim it will help make the car
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safer, and we all want a safe ride, don't we? Offer to even come to their
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house (better for you that way anyways!) and fix the bumper. You then spray
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your special "rust fighting" (plain) paint on the bumper. Charge em $200 up
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front and leave when you're done. In two weeks when the rust is back, they
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won't even remember you.
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$ J - Just let me trim your trees $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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This is the same as the home repair scam, except you offer to trim the trees
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while you're in the neighborhood, and trim a couple limbs and run. You can
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get upwards of $500 for trimming a few limbs. Claim to be from the city
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or something, and say the trees are too close to power lines or some shit.
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$ K - Keep the peace charity scam $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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This telemarketing scam, you claim to be from the police department, and ask
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for donations to the policemans' ball or something. Make sure you make the
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person feel they are helping to fight crime by mentioning some local crimes
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that happened recently. That will make them think they are doing something
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good. Besides, nobody questions the police.
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$ L - Living Legacy scam $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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This telemarketing scam aims at old people's desire to leave something for
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grandchildren. Offer to sell one share in an oil well/diamond mine/wireless
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cable or some other risky investment to them. This will "assure that the
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grandkids are provided for after they die." All old people want to help,
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so they will gladly dish out $10,000 for each share. This one can make BIG
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bucks if it's done right. If you do it yourself, make sure you are a good
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salesman, and if you're organized enough to have employees, make sure they
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are well trained.
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$ M - Miracle Anti Aging Formula Fraud $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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Medical scams are popluar. Just place an ad in some old persons' magazine,
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like the Enquirer, and claim to have the "Fountain of youth...for only
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$499.00" Then you send some cheesy $50 vitamins, and make it look like a
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good deal by claiming something like, these were originally $1200 vitaimins,
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but now they're only $499." Everybody likes a good deal and if that don't
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work say: "That's only $1.50 a day....isn't worth $1.50 a day to live 10
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years longer?" Breaking the price down into days will do wonders for sales.
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That's the oldest trick in the book for overcoming an objection over the
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price.
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Well, that's it for the first part of the file...letters N through Z will
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be out sometime this week, I hope. But I'd like to leave you with the
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cruelest scam I ever seen. In this scam, you prey on people who have alrady
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paid you once, and been ripped off. You call claiming to be a lawyer and
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say for $500 you will get back everything they lost to "those nasty con
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artists..." Fax them some official looking document and have them Western
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union the money right to you.
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Ok, thats enough scams for this issue....look out for Part II l8r this week!
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COPYWRONG 1995, MONEY INC HOLDINGS LTD.
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All rights drawn and quartered.
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MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY
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SONIC FURY
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CCRIDER
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THE BIG CHEESE
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JULIO
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ORGASMIC ANOMALY
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SEXECUTIONER
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