471 lines
21 KiB
Plaintext
471 lines
21 KiB
Plaintext
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The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results ("mini-JIR")
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Issue Number 1994-01
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January, 1994
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ISSN 1072-7159
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Key words:science humor,irreproducible results,Ig Nobel
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The Official Electronic mini-Organ of
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The Society for Basic Irreproducible Research
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Produced jointly by
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The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR) and
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The MIT Museum
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-----------------------------
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1994-01-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS
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1994-01-01 Table of Contents
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1994-01-02 Purpose of the mini-Journal (*)
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1994-01-03 Abstracts from JIR, vol. 39, no. 1, Jan/Feb 94
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1994-01-04 Commentary: The Gallo Case: Power Helps
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1994-01-05 JIR Recommends
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1994-01-06 "The Irreproducible Sex Tour": Calling All Instigators
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1994-01-07 Calendar of Upcoming Events
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1994-01-08 Calls for Papers
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1994-01-09 How to Submit Articles to JIR (*)
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1994-01-10 How to Subscribe / How to Get Back Issues (*)
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1994-01-11 A Message From Our Beleaguered Technical Brains
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1994-01-12 Yes, please DO make copies! (*)
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1994-01-13 Irreproducible Section
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1994-01-14 Bobbitt Re-attachment
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Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.
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---------------------------------------
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1994-01-02 Purpose of the mini-Journal (*)
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The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results publishes news about overly
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stimulating research and ideas. Specifically:
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A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts of research
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news and satire from the Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR).
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B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. Ig Nobel Prizes honor
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"achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced." A public
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ceremony is held at MIT, in Cambridge Massachusetts, every autumn. The
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ceremony is sponsored jointly by JIR and by the MIT Museum.
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C) News about other science humor activities conducted by the MIT Museum
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and JIR.
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1994-01-03 Abstracts from JIR, vol. 39, no. 1, Jan/Feb 94
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This section contains abstracts of articles that appear in volume 39,
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number 1 (the January/February 1994 issue) of The Journal of
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Irreproducible Results (JIR).
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[PLEASE NOTE: JIR 39:1 is the annual swimsuit issue.]
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| FOR FULL TEXT (including lurid |
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| photographs) OF THESE ARTICLES |
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| SEE THE CURRENT ISSUE OF JIR. * |
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"The Wrinkle Factor Gene" by Max F. Rothschild
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This paper describes experiments to identify a gene responsible for
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excessive wrinkling in pigs, and subsequently in dogs and humans.
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"Continuous Force Induced Medial Movement of the External Auditory
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Medial Movement of the External Meatus and Auricle" by Laurence I. Barsh
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To help prevent the spread of diseases, most notably AIDS, most dentists
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now routinely wear masks that cover the mouth and are help in place with
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elastic bands around the ears. A 36-month study assesses how much
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"orthodontic" movement of the ear is induced by the continuous tensile
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force which these bands exert.
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"Footnotes to the First Paragraph of Chapter Three" by David Weinberger
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Key literary, philosophical and technological allusions are identified
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and explained for a brief quotation attributed to James Joyce, a senior
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Vice President at a brokerage firm in Albany, New York. The quote was
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discovered in the journal "Information Week," in paragraph 3 of an
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article about high technology restructuring.
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"The Effects of Peanut Butter on the Rotation of the Earth" by George
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August, Anita Balliro et al
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An extensive multidiscipinary study analyzes the effects of peanut
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butter on the rotation of the earth.
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"Untoward Behavior at the Third First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony" by
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Francesca Thurston and Stephen Drew
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The Third First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony is described in detail,
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with a complete list of the winners, highlights from the acceptance
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speeches, complete text of the seven Heisenberg Certainty Lectures
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(presented by: Nobel Laureates William Lipscomb, Sheldon Glashow and
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Dudley Herschbach; economist Paul Krugman; jazz harpist Deborah Henson-
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Conant; "Einstein's Dreams" author Alan Lightman; and Russell Johnson,
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Professor Emeritus from Gilligan's Island), and more than 15 shocking
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photographs.
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"Law and the Chicken" (first of three parts) by Roger I. Abrams
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The author conducts the first extensive examination of the concept and
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role of the chicken in western jurisprudence.
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"Politically Bulletproof Testimony" by Shelby Miller
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New details emerge concerning SBIR's new service of providing experts to
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assist scientists in testifying to congress. Most notably: a surcharge
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applies to testimony before certain committees (Dingel), and/or in
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connection with the Department of Energy, with AIDS-related drug
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therapies, and/or with regard to the atmospheric ozone layer.
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"My Favorite Microbe: The Impossible Life of Eschericihia coli" by X.
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Perry Mental
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E. coli is the most examined and exploited of microbes. In many ways it
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has contributed more to science than have most scientists. A senior
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statesman of science gives E. coli an elegant, informed appreciation.
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"Candidate for a Pullet Surprise" by Jerrold H. Zar
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"I have a spelling checker.
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It came with my PC.
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It plane lee marks four my review
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Miss steaks aye can knot see."
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The author elaborates on this theme.
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"Technology Update: The Brain Tachometer" by Stephen Drew.
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A new device measures how fast the mind is racing. For commercial
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reasons, no details are presented as to what exactly is measured, what
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the units represent, or how different values are to be interpreted.
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Interview with Nobel Physics Laureate Nicolaas Bloembergen, by Marc
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Abrahams
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The 1981 Nobel Physics Laureate declines to answer an impersonal
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question.
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"Elegant Results" (regular column) by Alice Shirell Kaswell
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Styles, trends, and tidbits, culled from leading research journals.
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In this issue: findings from the research journal "Vogue."
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"Scientific Gossip" (regular column) by Stephen Drew
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Contains 100% gossip from concentrate. In this issue: Three Minute Gold;
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Compelling Research; Sight versus Rights; Experiments in Alcoholism; No
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Middle Down Under; Singapore Science; Flask Flap; One-Night Standoffs;
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Help for Shy Talkers.
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| FOR FULL TEXT (including lurid |
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| photographs) OF THESE ARTICLES |
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| SEE THE CURRENT ISSUE OF JIR. * |
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* In case you don't have access to a
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current issue, for subscription details
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please see the end of this document.
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----------------------------------------------
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1994-01-04 Commentary: The Gallo Case
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Commentary by X. Perry Mental, Honorary Chairman, The Society for Basic
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Irreproducible Research (SBIR)
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"Misconduct charges against Gallo withdrawn..."
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---Nature, 366, 191, 1993
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"US clears top AIDS scientist"
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---International Herald Tribune, Nov 13, 1993, p. 5
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These are the surprising[1] headlines. After nine years of suspicion
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and 5 years of investigation, Dr Robert C. Gallo was cleared of all
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charges of misconduct by the US dept of Health and Human Services
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(USDHHS), after the office "abandoned hope of winning the final
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adjudicatory hearing on Dr. Gallo..." because "the evidence produced by
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ORI (Office of Research Integrity) did not stand up top legal scrutiny"
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(Nature 366, 99, 1993). The charges against Gallo were that "he
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misstated in a scientific article how important French research was to
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his work and failed to give credit to another scientist (Gazdar) who had
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invented the cell culture crucial to his work".
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Actually the scapegoat[2] of the whole affair was Gallo's collaborator,
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Mikulas Popovic, who originally was found by ORI guilty on 4 counts of
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scientific misconduct (and as a result was unemployed for 4 years).
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Popovic has now been exonorated by the USDHHS Appeals Board.
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As a result of this whole affair, ORI is preparing revised guidelines on
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the basis of which a scientist can be convicted of fraud only if he
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(she) knew that "a sentence in his/her manuscript might be misleading."
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Let us hope that this will be so. Anyway, Power helps.
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NOTES:
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[1] to be accurate about it, let us say: "headlines surprising to many"
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[2] one can rephrase this: "unfortunate victim"
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--------------------------
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1994-01-05 JIR Recommends
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Research reports that merit a trip to the library:
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"Colonic Removal of a 'Pop-Up Meat Thermometer' from the Sigmoid Colon,"
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by R. G. Norfleet, G. Skerven, and H. T. Chatterton, "Journal of
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Clinical Gastroenterology," vol. 6, no. 5, pp. 477-478. (Thanks to the
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science reference staff at the Boston Public Library for bringing this
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to our attention.)
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"Groucho Running," by T. A. McMahon, G. Valiant, and E. C. Frederick,
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"Journal of Applied Physiology," vol. 62, 1987, pp. 2326-2337.
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1994-01-06 "The Irreproducible Sex Tour": Calling All Instigators
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In honor (?) of the new JIR book, "Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning
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Rubble," (see section 1994-01-10 below) we are organizing a 20 city
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"Irreproducible Sex Tour" of North America. The tour will feature JIR
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readings/seminars/slide shows. It will take place approximately during
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March and April. Stops already scheduled include:
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Library of Congress (Washington, DC)
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National Institutes of Health (Bethesda, MD)
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MENSA (New York City)
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The Franklin Institute (Philadelphia)
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We are scheduling the tour right now. If you would like to be a
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host/instigator for an Irreproducible Science Event at your city,
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university, hospital, research center, high school, book store, etc.,
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ASAP please contact:
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Lisa Bernstein (dubno@nysernet.ORG)
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Workman Publishing, 708 Broadway, New York, NY 10013
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(212) 614-7505 FAX:(212) 254-8098
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If you are a JIR author and/or if you want to read, shout, or otherwise
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present your irreproducible research results in public, please contact
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Marc Abrahams (jir@mit.edu) as soon as possible.
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1994-01-07 Calendar of Upcoming Events
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::::: Irreproducible Science Night at the Bookcellar Cafe
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Wednesday, Feb. 9, 1994, 7:30-9 pm., Cambridge, MA
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JIR Readings and slide show, featuring the author of "Cakus Chocolatus
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and the Treatment of Disease," and other classic works. This is the
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second of what will now become a regular series of Irreproducible
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Science Nights at The Bookcellar Cafe, 1971 Massachusetts Avenue,
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Cambridge, (617) 864-9625.
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::::: "Crazy After Calculus" :::::
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An ongoing exhibition of extraordinary humor at MIT from prehistoric
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times through the present day.
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The MIT Museum
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265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
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(617) 253-4422 (ktl@mitvma.mit.edu)
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::::: 1994 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony :::::
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Thursday evening, October 6, 1994 at MIT in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
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You are cordially invited to attend. You are also invited to submit
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nominations for this year s Ig Nobel Prizewinners.
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------------------------------------------
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1994-01-08 Calls for Papers
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CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic: "Odd Numbers." Please enclose
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photomicrographs.
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CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic: "The Effects of Punctuated Evolution on
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the Eardrum." Please submit research results only, not speculative
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essays.
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CALL FOR ESSAYS for JIR's "Worst Science Teacher Competition." Essays
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must be 300 words or less, explaining how and why, despite the
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competition, your nominee is the world's worst science teacher. Please
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enclose any photographs, diagrams, or other evidence that might bolster
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your case. All entries become the property of JIR. The winning essayist
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and the worst teacher will both be invited to attend the 1994 Ig Nobel
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Prize Ceremony at their own expense. [A stilted note for incurably
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serious readers: the underlying purpose of this competition is to
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publicize the importance of GOOD science teachers!]
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----------------------------------------
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1994-01-09 How to Submit Articles to JIR (*)
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Since 1955, The Journal of Irreproducible Results has been the
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publication of record for overly stimulating research and ideas. JIR
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publishes original articles, news of particularly egregious scientific
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results, and short notices of satiric and humorous intent. The editors
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look forward to receiving your manuscripts, photographs, X-rays,
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drawings, etc. Please do not send biological samples.
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Articles are typically 500-2000 words in length. The entire manuscript
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should be typed double-spaced on standard white bond paper, with
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generous margins all around, and submitted with a photocopy.
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Alternatively, you may submit via e-mail, in ASCII format.
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Because of the volume of submissions, we are unable to acknowledge
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receipt of manuscripts unless they are accompanied by a SELF-ADDRESSED,
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ADEQUATELY STAMPED ENVELOPE.
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Before you submit an article to The Journal of Irreproducible Results,
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PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE skim through a recent issue to see the typical
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length and format of JIR articles. At the same time, please read the
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"Information for Contributors" notice in any issue of JIR. Articles may
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be submitted to:
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Marc Abrahams, editor
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The Journal of Irreproducible Results
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c/o Wisdom Simulators
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P.O. Box 380853
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Cambridge, MA 02238 USA
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Telephone number for editorial matters: (617) 491-4437
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A list of arbitrary suggestions for authors can be obtained by sending a
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SELF-ADDRESSED, ADEQUATELY STAMPED ENVELOPE to the same address.
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E-mail address for editorial questions: jir@mit.edu
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---------------------------
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1994-01-10 How to Subscribe / How to Get Back Issues (*)
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mini-JIR
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The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results is an electronic publication,
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available over the Internet, free of charge. It is distributed as a
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LISTSERV application. We expect to publish 6-12 issues per year.
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To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to either of these addresses:
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LISTSERV@MITVMA.MIT.EDU or LISTSERV@MITVMA
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The body of your message should contain ONLY the words "SUBSCRIBE MINI-
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JIR" followed by your name.
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Here are two examples:
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SUBSCRIBE MINI-JIR Irene Curie Joliet
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SUBSCRIBE MINI-JIR Nicholas Lobachevsky
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To stop subscribing,
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send the following message to the same address:
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SIGNOFF MINI-JIR
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To obtain a list of back issues,
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send this message:
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INDEX MINI-JIR
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To retrieve a particular back issue,
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send a message specifying which issue you want.
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For example, to retrieve issue 93-00002, send this message:
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GET MINI-JIR 93-00002
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If you have questions about how to subscribe, or if you would like to
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re-distribute mini-JIR, please send e-mail to: mgeller@mit.edu
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[PLEASE NOTE: if you are regularly posting mini-JIR on your gopher, WWW,
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news group or mailing list, please drop an e-mail note to
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mgeller@mit.edu so that we can compile a complete resource list --
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thanks!]
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| FOR FULL TEXT (including lurid photographs) |
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| OF THE ARTICLES ABSTRACTED IN MINI-JIR |
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| SEE THE CURRENT ISSUE OF JIR. |
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JIR
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The Journal of Irreproducible Results is a print publication published
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six times per year. JIR is written by scientists from around the world,
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and read by subscribers in 41 countries.
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To subscribe, send payment to:
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By phone: (800) 759-6102 or (617) 876-7000
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By FAX: (617) 876-7022 (include credit card info)
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By mail: The Journal of Irreproducible Results
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c/o Wisdom Simulators, P.O. Box 380853
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Cambridge, MA 02238 USA
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Rates for a year's subscription:
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U.S. individuals $21 libraries $40
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Canada, Mexico individuals $27.50 libraries $46
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Elsewhere individuals $43 libraries $62
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Please call for multiple gift rates
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New Book
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A new book of outstanding JIR research has just been published:
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A) "Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and further
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improbabilities): More of the Best of The Journal of Irreproducible
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Results," Marc Abrahams, editor, Workman Publishing, New York, 1993.
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ISBN 1-56305-312-8
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Previous Books:
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B) "The Best of the Journal of Irreproducible Results," George H.
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Scherr, editor,Workman Publishing, New York, 1983. ISBN 0-89480-595-9
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C) "Journal der Unwiederholbaren Experimente," George H. Scherr, editor,
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Kruger Verlag, Frankfurt, 1986
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D) "Journal der Unwiederholbaren Experimente II," George H. Scherr,
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editor, Kruger Verlag, Frankfurt, 1989 ISBN 3-8105-1714-3
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Items (A) and (B) are available in most libraries and bookstores,
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and from the MIT Museum (617) 253-4462.
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---------------------------
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1994-01-11 A Message From Our Beleaguered Technical Brains
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We are currently experiencing some unfortunately non-irreproducible
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difficulties. One problem is that many subscribers are receiving
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multiple copies of each issue. With a list as large as MINI-JIR has
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become, even behemoth computers seeem to have trouble getting everything
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sent out in one try. So, they start over and keep trying. There is a
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way around this problem -- maybe -- but we haven't been able to get it
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implemented just yet. In the mean time, as I suggested to one
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subscriber who gave me information on his multiple copies, we suggest
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that you use the extra copies to line the bottom of your virtual
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birdcage for your ethereal parakeet.
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A second significant problem is mail bounces we've received for users
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whose nodes are not accepting mail. Sometimes, nodes are not properly
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registered; sometimes systems are down; sometimes the byte-sized Gods
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just aren't smiling on us. Subscribers in the United Kingdom seem to be
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hardest hit. As luck would have it, we haven't got a satisfactory
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solution for this problem yet either. If some kind colleague passes
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this issue on to you because you didn't get your own copy, you can check
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to see if you are properly subscribed by sending a one line message to:
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LISTSERV@MITVMA or LISTSERV@MITVMA.MIT.EDU
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that reads:
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QUERY MINI-JIR
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By return mail, you should receive information about your mail setting
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for this list or a message stating that you are not subscribed. If you
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don't get anything at all, there's something wrong! Check with your
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local postmaster to see if the node is properly registered or what the
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correct form of node name is.
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--Marilyn Geller, Technical Brains (mgeller@mit.edu)
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---------------------------
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1994-01-12 Yes, please DO make copies! (*)
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Please DO send copies of mini-JIR to anyone who might be interested.
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The only limitations are:
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A) You must copy the whole document, without making any changes to it.
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B) You do NOT have permission to copy this document for commercial
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purposes.
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The contents of this document are copyright (c) 1994, Marc Abrahams.
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results ("mini-JIR")
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Editor: Marc Abrahams (jir@mit.edu)
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Technical Brains: Marilyn Geller (mgeller@mit.edu)
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--------------------------------------------------------------------
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---------------------------
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1994-01-14 Bobbitt Re-attachment
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By request from scholars who are studying the Bobbitt trials, and in
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recognition of our position as the official mini-organ of the Society
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for Basic Irreproducible Research, we are reprinting the following
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citation from the medical literature. The information is presented in
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the form of a re-attachment to this document:
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"Surgical Management of an Epidemic of Penile Amputations in Siam," by
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Kasian Bhanganada, Tu Chayavatana, Chumporn Pongnumkul, Anunt
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Tonmukayakul, Piyasakol Sakolsatayadorn, Krit Komaratal, and Henry
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Wilde, "The American Journal of Surgery," 1983, no. 146, pp. 376-382.
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The report reads in part: "It became fashionable in the decade after
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1970 for the humiliated Thai wife to wait until her [philandering]
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husband fell asleep so that she could quickly sever his penis with a
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kitchen knife. A traditional Thai home is elevated on pilings and the
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windows are open to allow for ventilation. The area under the house is
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the home of the family pigs, chickens, and ducks. Thus, it is quite
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usual that an amputated penis is tossed out of an open window, where it
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may be captured by a duck."
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