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85 lines
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[ Mind Warp - Volume #1, Issue #9, File #020 ]
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[ "Phun With Snot" by Mustaine ]
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Phun with Snot
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[Mustaine/Influenza]
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Yeah, snot. You know, that icky stuff that comes out of your nose
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when you hit allergy season. At any rate, I found that snot can be pretty
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darn kewl if you know what to do with it. So, in a obvious spout of delirium
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caused by my medication to get rid of...yes folks you guessed it..SNOT...I
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have decided to write up a short infophile on some kewl things to do with
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your snot.
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First, before you can have fun with snot, you need snot. Now, I
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personally live by that motto, "Use what you have..." so that's what I
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recommend. Now at first this might be a problem for some of you folks. Not
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everybody has oodles of snot to play with. SO, what I did, and this really
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wasn't my fault...but.. My ex-girlfriend was sick around the time of my
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senior prom. Boo! But thanks to medication, she got to go. And believe me
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we had fun. So, after prom we hit my humble abode...and had fun for
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about 5 hours. (Please don't kill me Casper :)
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Now you can imagine after all that, Mr. Allergic to Everything here
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manages to catch some really nasty germs..and well...basically in a week I
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had my own personal supply of snot to play with. It was kinda neat actually,
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I had both yellow and green. Sir Mixalot couldn't have asked for better!
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Really blessed people will get sinus infections...that is the best.
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Before you even begin picking your nose wondering what to do with your
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newfound Nickelodeon gak shit...find a flashlight and turn off the lights in
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a dark room. Stick the flashlight in your mouth (make sure it's a small
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flashlight, cause the big one's get stuck unless you're into heavy duty oral
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stuff with your partner...<g>.) At any rate, you should be able to see where
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the snot is in your head. Up around the eyeballs, under your forehead, IN
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your forehead...in your nasal passages..it's really kewl. Ok, that's one
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neato thing to do with snot. Next.
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Like blow a little out. It's like crazy glue super duper elastic gunk.
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You can like do the yo-yo thing off your fingers if you pick the right
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amount. Or you can snap it off with a cute wrist flip. Watch those weirdos
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that give people the bird on the metro and stuff...they could fling snot for
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feet. Also, little animals HATE snot. Like find some ants and fling the
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gunk on em. The little buggers never know what hits em.
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Snotbombs are kewl too. But you have to be really sick to be able to
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perform this next one. Find a can of coke and empty it. I don't care how.
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You could like dump it on the mailman for all I care. Anyways, then stop
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taking your medication (can't get rid of the green shit without medication)
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and fill the can up. Yeah..with SNOT. It's neato. Then go down to DC, or
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somewhere where you can get fireworks and get one of those little M-80's or
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cherry bombs. Kewl huh? Stick the explosive in the can so that the fuse
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sticks out. Don't worry, it'll float in snot. Just don't get it wet. Wrap
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the bottom in like tinfoil or something. I don't care. Then find an un-
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suspecting person...like your vice president or something, or hell your
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landlord will do...and light the fuse. M-80's and cherry bombs usually have
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about a 3 second fuse....so THROW the damn thing. Then you can watch the
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person get spattered with your lovely nose discharge.
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Mind you I usually don't write sicko stuff like this...it's just that
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ever since prom...THANKS Casper...I've had this really nasty sinus infection
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and I have had a LOT of spare time on my hands...more like spare SNOT on my
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hands..and well...everyone needs a little grossness now and then. Besides,
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this is more of a funny grossness. So kids, if you're underage, can't buy
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fireworks, have no clue what I'm talking about...well...JUST DON'T TRY THIS
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AT HOME. As for adults...use good taste please. If word of the ever top
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secret snotbomb got out...well...Suddam just might be able to repel us next
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time we have to go over and kick his ass. Until next time...
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use a tissue???
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Mustaine / iNFLueNZa iNC. / Mind Warp / 1994
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==============================================================================
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Call Arsonist's Arsenal BBS the Mind Warp WHQ - (301) 208-0847
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==============================================================================
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