617 lines
31 KiB
Plaintext
617 lines
31 KiB
Plaintext
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°°°°°°°°± °°°°°°± °°°°°°°°± °°± °°°°°°± [MiLK]
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°°°°°°°°± °°°°°°± °°°°°°°°± °°± °°°°°± BiG Issue
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°°°°°°°°± °°°°°°°°± °°°°°°°°± °± °± °°°°°°± Four
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Ä ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä
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Contents of [MiLK] Issue 4:
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"BlowJobs".................................................Winter Solstice
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"The Hand on the Home Shopping Club".......................King Krazy
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"The Best of Obloid1sm"...................................................
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- "Ingestible Dog".................................Oregano
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- "The Prose of The Modern Mariner"................Nyarlathotep
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- "The Appendix to the Field Guide of Lampreys"....Nyarlathotep
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- "Thoughts About Society, Part I".................Itchi-Koo
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- "Behind the Scenes: Nyarlathotep"................Nyarlathotep
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"Ballsack.."...............................................King Krazy
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"Flight of the Cartlifter".................................James Hetfield
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Ä ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä
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BlowJobs by Winter Solstice
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I am very confused as to the meaning of the word "Blowjob". Even
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as a young child the word confused me quite a bit. I ponder for hours and
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hours everynight thinking about the word and I still cannot see how the
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sucking of the penis can be related to blowing. If you actually blew into
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the penis wouldn't some sort of harm be done to the penis since air would
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travel into the hole causing extreme pain or even permenent damage to the
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urethra leading to trouble urinating.
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So one day I decided to really figure out what the blowjob was. I
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traveled to a bad neighborhood about 4-5 miles from my house and wondered a
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bit untill I came across a few hookers and decided to ask them. I walk up
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to one of the hookers and she has sores all about her mouth and looks as if
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she hasn't had a bathing for weeks ( and smells that way as well ), and I ask
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her what she considers a Blowjob to be. She only replies with a, " If you
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have 20 bucks I'll give ya the best one you've ever had".
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I ask louder this time, " WHAT do you consider a Blowjob to be!"
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She replies, "Get the fuck away from me, I don't get paid to answer
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your questions."
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I move on to the next hooker. She is much better looking and much
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better smelling, so I smile and act nice to her. I ask her the same question
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She smiles and replies, " I can show ya hon for 15 bucks, and I am
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a nice clean girl not like little miss herpes over there."
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I diddn't want to displease her because of her prettiness and all so
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I hand her the money and we go into the alley. She begins her work. "NO!"
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I scream, " I WANT A REAL BLOWJOB! I WANT YOU TO BLOW INTO IT UNTILL MY
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BLADDER EXPLODES AND I DIE!!". Suddenly I hear a voice of an angry man
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saying, " Is that guy wasting your time??!!??!". She answers," yea get this
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nut away from me Jocko!". I feel a fist smashing into the back of my head
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and I fall to the ground, pants still around my ankles. I look up and I
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see a big massive hulk of a man with a big panama hat and a four-fingered
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ring that reads,"Jocko" on it. I pull my pants up mumbling,"oh shit". He
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grasps me by the shirt and picks me up off the ground smiling and he punches
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me in the face so hard I think my teeth are breaking through the back off
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my head. Jocko smashes me against the wall a couple of times and and me back
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to the ground. Through blurred vision I see him and the hooker walking away
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laughing counting my money. I regain myself and travel back home to wash
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out my wounds.
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I reach home feeling half dead and still confused. I take a shower
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and lay in bed unable to clear my mind. That whole ordeal was just a waste
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of time. But wait, there was one more hooker there. THERE IS STILL A CHANCE
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! Hopefully by next weekend Jocko will be cooled off and I can go visit his
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other girl and ask her, SHE MAY BE THE ONE WHO KNOWS THE REAL MEANING! I
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finally fall asleep knowing there is a chance in hell that I can figure out
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what a blowjob is.
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Ä ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä
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> The Hand On The Home Shopping Club
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_ |
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| | _ Who the fuck owns that hand.........
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| || | Who the fuck cares about that hand.. |_) (_|
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| || | Who cares about that fucking hand... _. | ._
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I fucking care about that damn hand. \_/
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This text file contains all the info you ever wanted to know
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about the person who owns that damn hand that models rings and other
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accessories. This text file does a deep study into the sub-mind. I
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care about that hand and that is why I bring you this great file about
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it.
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At 3:00 in the morin' I was sitting watching the Home Shopping
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Club and I say to myself this would make a good text file.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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That lamer that shows off thier hand must be retarted or they are
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the smartest people to walk the planet. I look at it boths ways. See either
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that person has to be the most retarded person and mot ugly or they are
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some stupid jackass getting paid $18.89 an hour and is sitting back thinking
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<wow all I gotta do is show off my hand and the world will love me> but we
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don't. We fucking hate that hand and all its properties. So those people
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should buy half a monkey brain and get off thier high horse and start to see
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the world in its entirity.
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Do you know what those people think while they have thier hand
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advertised over the fucking televison. They are saying to themselves <What
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kind of stupid people are watching this stupid idea to rip off the public.
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All those people out thier thinking, wow I should but this, should be shot
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,killed, buried, dug up, and shot again in the face.>
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I think they should show more of the person than just thier hand.
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so what I did for all you readers is I went to the Home Shopping Club and
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am going to tell you the most grusome thing anyone could learn. What those
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assholes look like.
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I walk in and the first person I see is that fucking dumb asshole
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security gaurd telling me that <this is a closed set not subjectible to the
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public> Fine I will fing ANTOHER way to get in. I go back 2 days later after
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ripping off a liquor store I pay the gaurd off. He lets me in. What I saw was
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the most hidious thing anyone could ever see. That damn lamer polishing her
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finger nails getting ready for a ring that she is going to show offin a few
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minutes. I walk up to the person gracfully but casually and say, "who the Fuck
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do you think YOU are?" I could tell she was greatly offended by my remark.
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She slaps me and says, "Who the fuck are you?" I say, "I am man on a quest
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for the most shitty woman and I think I have found her." I am escorted out
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and told never to return for I may be prosocuted by a grand jury for
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trespassing.
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Anyway I have just told you about what those people over their are
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doing to small children, wait no, I am just telling you what they do to
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people who are just trying to get a story.
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Well the moral of the story is. Don't stay up late at night and
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watch Home Shopping Club or it will fry your brain.
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please forgive me for my fucking vulgarity,
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King Krazy
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Hope you like my testicles.
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Ä ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä
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Obloid1sm Files
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The Text file group I used to run before this one (I don't know WHY
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I am admitting this...) was called Obloid1sm. Of the little amount of crap
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that was put out during this time, there were a few (a very FEW) good tfiles
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that are worth showing again, considering I don't want ANYONE to ever view
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a Obloid1sm file ever again... notice how none of these are mine? Kinda
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tells you who made that Tfile group crap... yes, me. :)
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Here are 5 of the Best files from Obloid1sm. I included these
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because these are the ones that the most people probably would want to read.
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OoOoOo. . .
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o
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. Ingestible Dog {by Oregano}
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First of all relax. There is nothing to fear, the
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Ingestible dog is 100% safe and comes strongly recommended by the
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American Medical Association. Please read through the entire
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instructions before using this product.
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Before you sits the Ingestible Dog, safely sealed in his 3
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inch high plastic container. Take the cover off the package
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carefully, you don't want your ingestible dog to run off. Might
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we suggest putting the container in a large empty pot before
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opening to give the dog room to run before ingestion.
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Once you're ready, pick up the dog by the back side, just
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above the back legs, you should be able to do this with one hand,
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and steady the dog with your other hand. Gently ease the dog
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into your mouth, be sure the dog goes head first else he might
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strut right back out. Tilt your head back, let go and the dog
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will run inside and down your throat.
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You may feel a gagging reflex, if this happens, simply
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relax and it will soon pass as the Ingestible Dog runs gleefully
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down your esophagus and towards your stomach.
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That's all you have to do, and the dog takes over from there.
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Once in your stomach the Ingestible Dog will lick away at any
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troublesome spots, curing those ulcers before they have a chance
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to form. From there the dog will enter your colon and intestines
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pushing out any matter that has lodged itself in there, plus the
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Ingestible Dog will lick the walls of your colon and intestines
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leaving them as clean as the day you were born.
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Finally the dog will emerge from your rectum during a normal
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stool. All you have to do is fish the swimming dog out of your
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toilet, wash him off, and then put him back in his container
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ready to use again.
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OoOoOo. . .
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o The Prose of the Modern Mariner
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. {By Nyarlathotep}
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The sun rises over the horizon, a golden disk in the lightening sky.
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The fisherman is prepared for his greatest catch of all time. Everything is
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perfect- the weather, the time of day, the month, and even the position of
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the stars. It all boils down to this- today the one that got away, won't
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escape. Either that or the the fisherman will hang up his rod and reel and
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put away his tacklebox forever.
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He takes special care to stop the boat's engine three miles away from his
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chosen sight. He stops rowing one mile away, and relies on the current,
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which he had precisely calculated, to move him that last mile. Half an hour
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later he reaches his chosen spot. He has spent months studying the
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topography of the lake in order to chose this spot. It is by far the best
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spot for fishing in the lake.
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After he arrives he sits back and relaxes. He has fifteen minutes; it is
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not yet time to cast.
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While waiting he double checks his gear. The rod is of graphite,
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incredibly strong, but also light. His reel is the best on the market,
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guaranteed to neither jam nor break for 30 years. His line is the strongest
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of its diameter available. It is colored to seem invisible to the fish, a
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bluish green. And his lure. His lure is his own design. He delved into
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many books from many ages in order to come upon this perfect design. This
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lure is so tempting that a fish cannot pass it up, and once but, the
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placement of the hooks ensures a snag. The size of the lure ensures a giant
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catch. No normal fish would even dream of biting this lure, although it
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would wish it could. A fish will bite, and it will be a great one.
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The time has come to cast. The fisherman, in his study of the lake, had
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come across a small fault line. He knows that it will slightly shift in 15
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seconds, and will mask the sound of the line moving through the water. He
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casts. Now he must wait.
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While he waits he contemplates his preparation for this event. For 30
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years he hasn't fished, for he was not ready to. He spent that time
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preparing. His colleagues at work, who never see him elsewhere, know there
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is some great force driving his life, but they have never figured out its
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nature. The fisherman spends all his free time advancing his cause. His
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paycheck goes to researchin new equipment, and travels to exotic places to
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witness master fishermen performing their art. He hopes he has prepared
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enough, for there is no turning back now.
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He sees his bobber move. It has bitten, and hence been snagged! He
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works the reel smoothly and carefully, as he has nothing but time. The fish
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fights, but he has prepared for that. At night, before sleeping, he would
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exercise vigorously, in preparation for the encounter. He is lean, but he
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is strong. The importance of this catch does nothing but add to his
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strength. The fish cannot win, eventually it will be brought up.
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The struggle lasts for forty-four minutes, and finally he gets sight of
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the catch. It is bigger then he ever imagined. He has succeeded today. He
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locks down the rod and get the net to pull the fish in the boat. He nets
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the fish, and it is heavier then he thought, the nets pole all but breaking
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as he strains to haul it in the boat. He plops it down, and as the fish
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flops and struggles, he removes the net. Only now does he realize it. A
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lamprey has attacked his fish! It is still attached, and bloated from all
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the blood. His catch is ruined! He has failed!
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In rage he rips the lamprey free of the fish, and with all his might
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twists off its head. He then hurls the still twitching carcass into the
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water. He inspects the monstrous fish and sees that it is completely drained.
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It is worthless, as he suspected. All his work is for naught. He
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is ruined, his fishing days are done, and the only joy in his life is gone.
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In all of his calculations and studies he never figured on an infernal
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lamprey attacking his catch. Maybe he should have planned for them he
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thinks. But, alas, he knows it is too late, and he shall never fish again.
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Suddenly he hears a sound hes has never heard before. A sound such as
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water being sucked into a vacuum, but very loud and very high pitched. He
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turns and sees a whirlpool forming beside the boat. He fears he shall be
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sucked into the maelstrom and be pulled down to a watery demise. As his
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boat is pulled in, the swirling suddenly stops. Everything is as calm as it
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could possibly be.
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With a humongous splash a giant head erupts from the water. The mouth of
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the head is a round hole, with teeth around it in circular rows. It is a
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lamprey, a fifty foot long one, at least. The lamprey turns to regard the
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fisherman. Only then does the fisherman realize his mistake.
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He had read an ancient legend of the Guardian of the Lake, a giant worm
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that sucks the life out of its victims. The Guardian's children live a
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protected life in the lake, prosperous from the fact that any harm to them
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will be avenged by their father. The fisherman dismissed this as foolish
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myth. Unfortunately for him it turns out to be fact.
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The lamprey let out a hiss, and from its giant mouth emerges it's rasping
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tongue, pointed like a spear. The tongue lances out and spears the
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fisherman. His last though is regret for killing the lamprey. His pierced
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body is drawn to the mouth of the Guardian, and he is quickly sucked dry.
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The giant lamprey submerges and returns to his den beneath the bottom of the
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lake.
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OoOoOo. . .
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o The Fieldguide To Lampreys
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. Appendix I {By Nyarlathotep}
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Since the first edition of the Fieldguide was type up, several
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more variants of Lamprey have come to my knowledge. Also I
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have learned additional facts about the abhorrent creatutes,
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that might interest the hunter, scientiest, or hater.
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Additionaly I am gonna talk a bit about the taxinomy of lampreys
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Well to start out with I think I will describe my
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methods of discovering my information on the creatures. My
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main source is fellow BBS'ers whose leads cause me to
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investigate and discover more about the fiends. For instance
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Oregano lead me on to the Crystal Pepsi thing. After getting
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this lead, then either I myself, or one of the highly
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skillled, handpicked researchers at the Institute of
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Cultural Diffusion, Cosmetics and Lampreyology personally research the
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new information. I assure you that all information presented
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is true, accurate, and important to the survival of us all.
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One of the most interesting facts to surface since the
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original guide was the discoverance of the origin of crystal
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pepsi. It is lamprey urine... and You all though spam was bad
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stuff!
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NEW DISCOVERIS AND VARIATIONS
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Flying Pink Lamprey- I have yet to witness one of these, but
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someone on some chatboard (I forgot who it was!) swears she
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has seen them (but she mentioned that certain substances may
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have influenced it). They are basically pink colored lampreys,
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similiar to the normal variety, that fly. There method of
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levitation is unknown, but may be akin to that used by Chinese
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Dragons.
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The Guardian of the Lake- Also known as The Grand Lamprey,
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this is simply the biggest creature of the family confirmed to
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exist. The guardian inhabits mainly lakes, but it can travel
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all over the world. The main thing to watch for on it is its
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tongue, which is well over 20 feet long and as sharp as a
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spear. It can use its tongue to spear a victim and draw it to
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its mouth, to be sucked dry. Granted a human is nothing but a
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little slurp to a beast as great as this. Under no
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circumstances should one try to destroy it, unless you have
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access to an M1A1 Abrams Tank Plattoon. Additionally if you
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know The Guardian is in the vicinity, be careful about what
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lamperys you kill.. for it senses the death of its kindred,
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and is quick to avenge. If you are fast, you may be able flee
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from this great monstrosity, but you best hope you never meet
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it.
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Electric Lampreys- These are varieties of common lampreys,
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ususally the aquatic type, but there are reports of electric
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lampreys. As far as known there are no known species of
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electric giant lampreys, or mental lampreys. The main
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peculiarity is these lampreys ability to generate an electric
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surge on the magnitude of 100,000 volts, enuff to stun a man.
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They use their powers of electricity to stun their prey before
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the feed. It is best to wear a rubber suit when hunting
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electric lampreys.
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Animator Lampreys- These lampreys are praticularly
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frightening. They are relatively small, around 8 inches long.
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They are amphibious. They feed like normal lampreys, however
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after their prey is sucked dry, they can crawl in their
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victims' skill and actually animate the corpse. In this manner
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they can control any sort of body, from a weasel to a Great
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Blue Whale. Beware of animator lampreys... who knows who you
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friends really are?
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A NOTE ON THE TAXONOMY OF LAMPREYS
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In general lampreys belong to:
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Kingdom: Animalia
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Phylum: Chordata
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Class: Agnatha
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Order: Petromyzontiformes
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Family: Petromyzontidae
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Here are the specific Nomenclatures of all previously
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described lamprey species, using the Genus, specific epithet
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method.
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Sea Lamprey- Petromyzon marinus
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Lesser Land Lamprey- Petromyzon terrestrius _normalis_
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Greater Land Lamprey- Petromyzon terrestrius _gigantus_
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Two-headed-glow-in-the-dark-lamprey- Lampetra lux (?)
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Mental Lamprey- Petromyzon psyche
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Giant Desert Lamprey- Lampetrix mortis (?)
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Aboleth- no acceptable taxonomy
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Flying Pink Lamprey- Petromyzon pinkus _avius_ (?)
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Electric Lamprey- Petromyzon electricus
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Guardian of the Lake- Lampetrix destruxi (?) (one of a kind
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presumably)
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Animator Lamprey- Lampetra animatoris
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OoOoOo. . .
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o
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. Itchi-Koo now (regretfully) presents........
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Thoughts about society.
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Part I
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Have you ever realized that society really sucks? Society will label
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you, embarrass you, and piss you off. People want you to be exactly like
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them, and when you're not, blam-o, you're automatically labeled different,
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wierd and strange. Dress odd? Whap, another bunch of remarks. Are you
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free? Do you think you're free? Could you walk into a Jewel or Pathmark
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wearinng a toga and Mickey Mouse ears? I don't think so. It makes you think,
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"God, doesn't anybody care?"
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Last week I saw a little girl out side of a 7-11. She was eating an ice
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cream cone and she had a deck of cards in her other hand. While eating, she
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almost lost the ice cream cone on the ground, but she dropped all of the
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playing cards. I sat there and watched 5 people walk in the 7-11 and then
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walk out. Did they see her? You're damn right they did. Did anyone help her?
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No. Not one person. Why? Because she had a physical disability, and no one
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would even stop to pick up one card for her. No one.
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That's a perfect example of what's happening all over the country, right
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now. Peope are becoming more and more arrogant everyday. They belive that
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they are supreme to everyone. All races, all colors, all religions.
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I'm not asking you to go blow up a car, but that's not a bad idea. What
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I'm sking you to do is to think. Just think. That's it. Think about
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why people act they way they do to you if you're different. If you're
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different, flaunt yourself in their face. Show them that you're here to
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stay, so they can take their rotten ass home to piss off. If you feel like
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singing Mr. Rogers in a crowded mall, do it, dammit! Dance, sing, jump, be
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yourself. Just don't sit there and say, " Boy, look at that freak. Ha ha!"
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---------------------
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The story of Oompry, the bat.
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One day, Oompry lived in a tropical rain forest. Some piss heads cut his
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home down. He got mad, and bit all of the little bastards. They all got
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rabies and died.
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---------------------
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OoOoOo. . .
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o
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. Behind The Scenes: Nyarlathotep
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Ok, I am sitting here at 1:30 A.M. I should really be sleeping...
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I have class tomorrow at 8:00, but I was never one for a full night
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sleep. Anyways on to the point of this little essay. I am Nyarlathotep,
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the Crawling Chaos. I am the co-sysop on the Obloid Sphere. I hate
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Lampreys. But this is all elementary stuff... who am I really?
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I am the person that controls which shows stay on the air and
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which shows don't. It never fails, but anytime I neglect a show that I
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use to watch fanatically it goes off the air.
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It all started around 7th or 8th grade. There was this awesome
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cartoon, _Robotech_, that I had watched since 3rd or 4th grade. During
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one of these years I neglected watching it regularly, and watched only
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once or twice a week. It went off the air, never to return.
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Remember that show _The_Wizard_? It starred Randall from the
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movie _Time_Bandits_ as a guy who made toys and fought crime. I watched
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that show fanatically for a season, but the next I had something to do
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that night (I don't remember what though) and it went off the air.
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_Family_Ties_ was another one of the carnage (good thing too... it
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sucked). _Cosby_Show_, _St._Elsewhere_, and even _Quantum_Leap_, they all
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have fallen prey to my busy schedule and general boredom with TV.
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I fear now, since I watch so little TV, that _Northern_Exposure_
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and _The_Simpsons_ shall also fall prey to this effect. I hope that
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_L.A._Law_ does become affected, for all our sakes. So the next time
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your favorite show goes of the air... I'm sorry that I didn't Watch it!
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Ä ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä
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Why Does Your Ballsack Hang Right After You Get Out Of The Shower?
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Does your ballsack feel like it has a 40 foot drop on it when you
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first get out of the shower? Mine does. Well if you have this problem, like
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most Americans do, you should continue reading this file to the end.
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When most people first get out of the shower they either:
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A. Have a huge erection the size of Antarctica.
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B. Have a ballsack that hangs like a droopy dog tounge.
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C. Have no dick.
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D. all of the above.?|!
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Whatever you pick I don't wanna know. But it is probally one of
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those choices. |={hopefully}=|
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Lets go into detail about those chocies.
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A. Have a huge erection the size of Antarctica =
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You have to be jacking off in order to reach this stage.
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B. Have a ballsack that hangs like a droopy dog tounge =
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You have been just washing and not playing at all with yourself in
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anyway. Unless you are impitant.
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C. Have no dick =
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I feel sorry for you. Dicks are a lot of fun.
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D. All of the above =
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That means that you were jacking off and washing off and stroking
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your emptyness near where your crotch should be.
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Overall this is a basic example of a short documentry on ballsacks
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and I hope you learned a lot about ballsacks in general.
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WARNING...........
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This text file was not meant to be truthful in anyway remeber
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Please don't jackoff and wash off and rub your nothingness all
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at the same time or you will strain you Verbatim.
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Hope you like my ballsack,
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King Krazy
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Please don't take my balls in your hands and squezee really hard. Thanks.
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Ä ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä
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Flight of the Cartlifer (Revised)
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This job will be a snap, Johnny thought to himself as he tossed the
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toilet paper into his Suitcase. He grinned as he grabbed all the soap and
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shampoo and towels and hairnets and shower caps and the Giddeon Bible and
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the phonebook and the pencils and the notepads and the pens and the Ice bucket
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and the vase full of flowers and the remote control to the TV. He pillaged
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the room until there was nothing smaller than a breadbox lying around in sight.
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He even bothered to take all the wire hangers, that is how obessed this man
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was.
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A knock at the door made Johnny nearly jump right out of his pants.
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He quickly shut his suitcase and went to the door. The maid enters, cheery
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as a dog in a big open field.
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"May I come in and Tidy up the room?" She questions.
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"Go right ahead. I'm just about packed and ready to leave." Johnny
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remarks, holding the facade of a smile upon his face.
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The maid brings her cart into the room and moves into the bathroom,
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proceeding to shine the mirror and dust. Johnny's eyes bulged out at the
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sight of the HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of little bottles of shampoo, the soaps,
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the little mints, the shower caps! ... Johnny almost came in his pants when
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he saw the little tubes of toothpaste!
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Johnny carefully made sure the maid wasn't paying attention and
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quickly thrust as many little items in his jacket coat pockets as he could.
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As soon as he had those filled, he tossed them all in his front jean pockets.
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The maid suddenly came in, almost making Johnny soil himself.
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"Everything okay? Do you need anything?" The maid asked.
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"No, I'm Fine." Johnny quickly replied, sighing in relief that the
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maid hadn't noticed his bulging pockets. She probably wouldn't think the
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bulging pockets were from little bottles, considering how attractive she was.
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The maid looks away, and once again Johnny started pocketing as many
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little bottles he could. He had almost filled both his back pockets when
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the maid turned around quickly and looked him directly in the eye.
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"You... You're stealing from my cart, aren't you?" she questioned
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harshly.
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"...No!" Johnny quickly came up with, nothing better coming to mind.
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"How DARE you steal from MY cart!" The maid screams at a very loud
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and angered tone.
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"Well... They are free items for the guests, aren't they?" Johnny
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asked, trying to pass the blame away from him.
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"I'm... I'm going to call the management!" The maid declaired.
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"You Just do that!" Johnny demanded, now pretending to be
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infuriated.
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Johnny moved to pick up his suitcase and leave to the downstairs, but
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as he attempted this feat, he made a tragic flaw in his mechanics as he
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picked up the suitcase without snapping it closed. All of the items he had
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pillaged from the room came tumbling out onto the carpeting.
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"You stole ALL those things from this room!" The maid screamed.
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Johnny tried to grab all his belonging and quickly make a run for
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it. Unfortunate for him, the maid was expecting an action like this, and
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asserted one of her moves that she learned in her maid self-defense classes.
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"Freeze! One more move and you'll be sucking on a pine forest!"
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The maid exclaims, Pine Sol ready and willing in hand.
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Johnny stared down the spray nozzle, and stood motionless. The maid,
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never taking her eyes off of Jonny, moved over to the phone and called the
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front desk. Within a moment the Security would be up to arrest Johnny.
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Johnny had very little time left to try to make his escape. He
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bolted at the maid, trying to knock the can of Pine Sol away from her while
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she was distracted on the phone. Johnny's timing was a second too late as
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the maid sprayed the fresh smell of a evergreen forest directly into Johnny's
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eyes, temporarily blinding him and making him flop around on the floor in
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pain.
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Johnny was arrested, charged with attempted cartlifting. The police
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took away all of Johnny's items that he had taken from the hotel, even the
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plastic shoehorns, because plastic shoehorns are worth something too. The
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maid smiled as she watched Johnny being dragged out, knowing she had taken
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another Cartlifter off the streets.
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[ This story was taken from a Script written by Julie Burt for the Stage ]
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Ä ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Ä
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Û Û [MiLK] Information
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Û Û
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Û Û [MiLK] Sites:
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Û Û
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Û Û Barney's Pleasure Palace...(708)965-3098 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û CUM........................(708)961-1220 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û The Acropolis..............(708)557-2826 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û BIG Issue #4
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ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ This file is Exactly 31876 bytes long
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