89 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
89 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
Ü Ü Ü Mighty Issue #55
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Ü Ü Û Û Ü illicit "Silly Pathetic Adventures (of) Malakai"
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Û ß Û Û Û ÛÛ Liquid -By Malakai
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ß ß ß ß ß ß Kollections
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Ä Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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The sky was a bright blue on this great Wednesday morning. The sun
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was shinning, the sky was clear of clouds, and I was ready to wake up and go
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outside for, well, to go outside anyway. I decided it'd be a really nifty
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idea to take a walk over to my friends' house in Round Lake Beach, about 2
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miles away. Afterall, after my bike was melted in the sun last week, I
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couldn't very well RIDE there.
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I was going down a small hill and everything and was by the big ditch
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by the bank, when all of a sudden, the ground became all pink and smooshy. I
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was really freaked out by this, so I jumped, and slipped on the pink stuff,
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which, when I fell down and tasted it, realized was Spam. I pulled myself up
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and tried to stabalize myself on this new terrain and I saw this humanoid who
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was made out of spam walking towards me. "Hello there, you look like you have
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a problem," the walking spam said. "Yeah, I'm in a world of spam... now, how
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am I going to get to my friends house?" I said, I was pretty mad, I mean,
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things like this just screw up days, but that wasn't the worst of it. I think
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I got spam juice on my magic cards. But the spaminoid spent a minute in
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contemplation and said, "Maybe this is a paralell universe? You should go to
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your friends' house and see," he smiled at his observation and I kicked him
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in the head. "Fuck off, Spamhead." I said, and he fell to the ground.
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This was the 1st time I ever got to kick a piece of spam, so I HAD to
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try it. Don't worry, it's not habit forming, otherwise the Lord of the Spam
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would have done something about it. So anyway, I continued walking, putting
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deep marks in the spam, until I got to my friends house. On my way I noticed
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that EVERYTHING was made out of spam, and I was REALLY starting to become
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afraid, I mean, what do they eat? If they eat Spam I was surrounded by
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Spamibals, and they may even eat ME. But I knocked on the house door, and my
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hand flew right through the spam, and I realized, I am SUPER-strong to these
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spam people, and super tough. I could do a lot of nifty things. But I ignored
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this and walked inside the house, which looked JUST the same as it did in
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reality, which was prehaps what this was.
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The only problem was the people here were made of spam, though they
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spoke in my friends' voices. So I became pissed off, don't ask me why, and I
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picked up the TV made of spam and threw it at them, and it exploded in a
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mess of spam. "Ha ha ha ha ha! You stupid PATHETIC LOAVES OF SPAM!" I yelled
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at the smeared puddles of spam and spam juice which were once spaminoids.
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I decided to make a phone call, maybe my Spaminoid self had a BBS up and
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stuff too, maybe THAT was my key back? Maybe aardavarks AREN'T just for
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Christmas?! But whatever it was I dialed ATDT 5464605 on my friends spam
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computer, and attempted to logon as myself. I used the SAME password as I
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did in reality, how convienent. I guess great minds think alike, but so did
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ours at this moment. Everything was the same, so I decided to crash my own
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system, so I shelled to dos, and typed FORMAT C: and hung up.
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This did NOT work, and by now I was growing insane, so I decided to
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do one thing before I gave up on getting back. I would go back to the field
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and search for things that may have caused my transportance. I walked back,
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and this time, around Burger King (which I was forced to wonder, do they use
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Spam Cows for it?) a cop car drove up and two fat pieces of spam got out with
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little things that looked like Spam guns. "Freeze, non-spam bag!" said one,
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pointing his spam gun at me. Looks like I was in big trouble, so I started to
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walk over there, but he shot. The spam splatted on my shirt, which was my
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cool Beavis and Butthead shirt, and it would STAIN. So I was REALLY pissed.
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I ran over there and punched them both, watching my hand come out the back.
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Then I yanked up and my hand flew through the spam. I had to go to confess
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at Spamfession DOUBLE time, I had committed some MAJOR sins here. But I then
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tossed the dead Copspams into the Copspam car.
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I then proceeded to go into the little valley between the roads and
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then, like magic, I was whipped back into the real world. I proceeded to my
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friends' house, where they graciously invited me in and told me the story
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about a walking spam man who tried to pick up the TV and throw it at them
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but couldn't, so he ran out and etc.. like I would believe that, sheah. But
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later, when we were going to play magic, there was ONE problem. All my magic
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cards were SPAM. <sigh> What a day, what a day.
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Û Û [MiLK] Information
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Û Û
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Û Û [MiLK] Sites:
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Û Û
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Û Û The Obloid Sphere..........(708)965-3098 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û The Asylum.................(908)914-9318 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û (NUP) I LOVE FEDS
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û Violent Playground.........(908)920-2575 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û Black Dragon BBS...........(703)885-3072 [14,400]
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ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÄÄ> MiLK File #55: "S.P.A.M." <ÄÄÄ
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(This File Just wasted 5488 bytes of your hard drive)
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