92 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
92 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
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°°°°°°°°± °°°°°°± °°°°°°°°± °°± °°°°°°± [MiLK]
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°°°°°°°°± °°°°°°± °°°°°°°°± °°± °°°°°± File #32
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ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
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Let's Talk About ³ SùEùX ³
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ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
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By Somebody Who Knows Absolutely Nothing
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Whatsoever About the Entire Matter
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(e.g. Biff Thelmus Bonglemeister III)
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The next time somebody asks you what the meaning of life is, there is a
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great easy answer. No, it's not a pansy answer like the standard
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Christian fundamentalist answer of "we all have the God-given holy
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blah blah responsibility blah blah purpose blah blah evangelize the
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world blah blah" bullshit. It's not a retarded liberal "we have to
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clean the environment" crap, it's not any sissy "fulfilling our divine
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purpose" shit or even crazy drugged-out "following the decrees of the
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stars" stuff.
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Instead, the answer is simple: Human beings exist to reproduce. Boy,
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that doesn't sound very exciting, does it? Of course, there are other
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compensations like computer games, eating steak, drinking and driving,
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reading moronic text files, killing lampreys, etc. etc. but let's face
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it, the sole purpose of human existence is to put another generation of
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human beans on earth to suffer through the same experience. Of course,
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as you have probably learned in fifth grade, or from some dirty
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magazine your parents showed you a long time ago, there is always sex.
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Now, sex is a weird thing. Everyone thinks sex is great, and everyone
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wants to have it, but what's the thing about sex everyone wants? Well,
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the orgasm. And so we go through life playing the demented moves of
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the dating game, the courtship game, and finally, foreplay and all that
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stuff (I hope you know what that entails, unless you are under 10 years
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old, in which case, what the heck are you doing reading this text
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file?), and all for a few seconds worth of pleasure.
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Frederic Pohl had an interesting comparison. In one of his books, a
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character relates how difficult it is to explain sex to alien races.
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They think it's like sneezing. You don't want to do it all the time,
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and you don't talk about that kind of thing in pleasant company, but
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sometimes, your body tells you you have to do it, and if you don't do
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it you're really uncomfortable, and finally it happens and afterwards
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you feel a lot better.
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Good comparison, eh? But hey, nobody WANTS to sneeze unless they're
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sick. So if sex is like sneezing, does that mean the entire human race
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is sick? Can we be cured? Maybe when people get older, they become
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less susceptible to the sex sickness. That's my personal theory,
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because geez, even thinking about trying to imagine thinking about
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coming close to visualizing the thought of the attempt to imagine old
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geezers going at it makes me retch. In fact, as I write this smut, I'm
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retching onto my keyboard. <retch retch>. Yeech.
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I mean hey, try it next time you're stuck with a big group of old
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geezers, or even people who are just barely over the hill (e.g. from 25
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and up). Good places to do this are at PTA meetings or at church. See
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the couples sitting together with their kids, they must have had sex a
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few times at least. Can you imagine it, though? Ewwwwww. I bet you
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can't. Isn't that disgusting? But I bet they didn't think so at the
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time.
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Yup, that's right, sex is disgusting and immoral. Tune in next time
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for the next issue of PTL weekly, right here, same MiLK-time, same
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MiLK-channel. BLa--I mean, MiLK. Oh fuck it, whatever.
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Û Û [MiLK] Information
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Û Û
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Û Û [MiLK] Sites:
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Û Û
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Û Û Barney's Pleasure Palace...(708)965-3098 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û The Acropolis..............(708)557-2826 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û The Lunatic Phringe........(708)232-0565 [12 Nodes]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û File Number 32 By Yohan Bawk
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ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ This file is Exactly 4960 bytes long
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