93 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
93 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
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°°°°°°°°± °°°°°°± °°°°°°°°± °°± °°°°°°± [MiLK]
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°°°°°°°°± °°°°°°± °°°°°°°°± °°± °°°°°± File #30
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Easy Ways To Shock Your Parents
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===============================
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By Biff Thelmus Bonglemeister III (not responsible)
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Imagine that after a hard day of school your parents tell you to mow
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the lawn, now you are pissed off and tired and want to go to sleep,
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smoke some pot, and go to your girlfriend's/boyfriend's house and get
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laid, well the easiest way is to shock your parents to death.
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(1) Easy Shock Treatment
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You come home from school and proudly announce to your parents that you
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are flunking every class in school. If this does not shock them, or is
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not sufficient to induce cardiac arrest, continue to step (2).
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(2) Easy to Moderate Shock Treatment
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Now inform your parents that due to your bad grades, and the fact that
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your teachers are all bitches/assholes, you have decided to drop out of
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school and go to work. If this is not enough, continue to (3).
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(3) Moderate Shock Treatment
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Now tell your loving mum and pop that you are going to work as a paid
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prostitute on Rush St. and that your pimp is your former history
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teacher. If this is still not enough, continue to (4).
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(4) Moderate to Sharp Shock Treatment
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Your next step is to tell your parents that since male prostitutes make
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no money, you are going to be a transvestite prostitute (if you are
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female, skip to (5)). Continue to (5) unless they drop dead.
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(5) Sharp Shock Treatment
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Tell your parents that (a)(for guys) you got your English teacher
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pregnant, or (b)(for girls) you yourself are pregnant, with your
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English teacher's baby. The sex of the English teacher is irrelevant.
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(6) Extreme Shock Treatment
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Tell your parents that just yesterday, you celebrated your new baby by
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having hot sex with this English teacher, on stage during a school
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assembly.
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(7) Sadistic Shock Treatment
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Inform your catatonic parents that you still have a dildo stuck up your
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ass from this experience. For some parents, you may have to first
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explain just what the heck a dildo is.
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(8) I-Wouldn't-Do-This-To-Rush-Limbaugh Shock Treatment
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For an encore, tell your parents that you are taking the car to go get
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your double operation now (double, one for the sex change, another to
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get that damned dildo out).
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(9) I-Wouldn't-Do-This-To-Rush-Limbaugh's-Dog Shock Treatment
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Now add a part about how you totaled the car by running over a few cops
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and that they will be over in the morning to arrest them, as your
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parents are still responsible for your actions.
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(10) More-Sadomasichistic-Than-Tori-Amos Shock Treatment
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The way to end this all is to then tell your parents that you caught
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AIDS from your English teacher, who was the guy who caught AIDS in the
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first place by porking a monkey. If that one doesn't get them, nothing
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will...
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P.S. Keep in mind none of these will work if you are a bad actor...
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P.P.S. If you have skeptical parents or parents unfamiliar with
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concepts herein, perhaps the foul language will kill them.
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Û Û [MiLK] Information
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Û Û
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Û Û [MiLK] Sites:
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Û Û
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Û Û Barney's Pleasure Palace...(708)965-3098 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û The Acropolis..............(708)557-2826 [14,400]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û The Lunatic Phringe........(708)232-0565 [12 Nodes]
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û
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Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û File Number 30, "Easy Ways To Shock Your Parents" By Yohan Bawk
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ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ This file is Exactly 4456 bytes long
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