511 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
511 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
Û Û [MiLK] Û Û
|
|
Û Û Û Û
|
|
Û Û Mighty Issue #13 Û Û
|
|
Û²²²²²²²²²Û illicit "MiLK Poetry: Volume 1" Û²²²²²²²²²Û
|
|
Û²²²²²²²²²Û Liquid By James Hetfield Û²²²²²²²²²Û
|
|
Û²²²²²²²²²Û Kollections & Mendeleev Û²²²²²²²²²Û
|
|
Û²²²²²²²²²Û Û²²²²²²²²²Û
|
|
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
|
|
|
|
[MiLK] Poetry, Volume I
|
|
|
|
Yes, Right here we have some of the WORST Poetry, all packed
|
|
into a Single text file for your viewing DISGUST! Warning: Those
|
|
who are weak at heart or Poetry Lovers should NOT read further; MiLK
|
|
poetry has been shown to cause emotional disgust and frustration in
|
|
laboratory Animals.
|
|
|
|
è "Rose Tinted-Glasses" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
Everything is horrible, everything is dead
|
|
There is no pleasure to my life,
|
|
I view the future with utmost dread...
|
|
|
|
I used to lie in the warm sunshine,
|
|
its rays brightening my room,
|
|
But now all I see, all around me, is doom, greatest doom
|
|
|
|
Now I sit here, in the ultraviolet rays
|
|
letting the warm sun fry me, work its most awful work upon me
|
|
Wishing for a magnifying glass to amplify me
|
|
|
|
Scorn on love, BAH to it, Scorn on life itself
|
|
My love has left me, My love has left me,
|
|
and taken my rose-tinted glasses.
|
|
|
|
She was so beautiful, she was very elegant,
|
|
With a wit and mind to match her looks,
|
|
And now I must endure her sight everytime she passes..
|
|
|
|
Lord, what pain and agony there exists for me
|
|
Yet if I had the chance to do it over, I'd do it all again.
|
|
|
|
è "BathTime Fun" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
Splash
|
|
I feel in the bathtub
|
|
Owch, my head
|
|
Blood trickling out all over my newly scrubbed tub
|
|
Damn you, why did you have to push me
|
|
Mother?
|
|
|
|
è "Christian Fundimentalist" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
I like to KILL
|
|
I like to eat flesh and have blood and guts hanging between my teeth!
|
|
I love the stalking of the prey
|
|
The excitement as I pounce, and
|
|
tear apart human skin and bones
|
|
I also like sacrificing small furry animals every full moon
|
|
What am I?
|
|
Muahahahhahahhah!
|
|
|
|
è "Why I Belong To The NRA" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
Beauties are bathing by the beach
|
|
birds of great majesty
|
|
the shot fired from my rife;
|
|
not as pretty a sight, are they?
|
|
|
|
è "Man's Best Friend" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
The beautiful woman was walking down the street
|
|
Her legs the finest I've ever seen,
|
|
her body (and I am sure her mind as well) quite sharp;
|
|
Then I unleashed my doberman on her
|
|
|
|
She doesn't look too hot any more
|
|
|
|
è "Coffee Shop Talk" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
I suck, boo-hoo
|
|
Don'tcha know it
|
|
Evil, black, loathing
|
|
I can't get over it
|
|
Please pity me.
|
|
|
|
è "Repent" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
I ate my pet Cat
|
|
Hairball, Can't get rid of it!
|
|
no matter how much I cough
|
|
I still am sentanced to the itch in my throat
|
|
|
|
è "Consumerism" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
Slurpy
|
|
Remember how we loved you?
|
|
Now you've been attacked.
|
|
|
|
Slush-Puppie
|
|
How DARE you embark on his terrain?
|
|
Prepare for a Duel to the Death!
|
|
You shall not withstand our barrage!
|
|
|
|
Once you think you've got us beat
|
|
you'll see the Spurpy on SALE!
|
|
Your days are numbered, Slush-Puppy
|
|
I hope you're praying, and praying hard...
|
|
For God cannot even Save you Now.
|
|
|
|
è "Calculator" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
I punched in a one, and
|
|
I tried to divide it by zero,
|
|
but my calculator wouldn't give me the answer,
|
|
and I got really mad
|
|
|
|
I told it if it wouldn't give me the answer,
|
|
I would smash it, and I was fair
|
|
Don't say I wasn't
|
|
I gave it another chance,
|
|
|
|
But it still gave me an error message
|
|
So I threw it against the wall
|
|
I threw it at my mommy and my daddy
|
|
Until it was dead
|
|
|
|
No one messes with me.
|
|
|
|
è "Aggressive Driving" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
Splat
|
|
Little mr fly just felt the rush of a lifetime!
|
|
|
|
Ouch
|
|
Look how his ass just went through his head!
|
|
|
|
Yuck
|
|
I'm gonna have to clean that mess up
|
|
|
|
Growl
|
|
Stupid Fly, he should know better than run into my car
|
|
|
|
è "Meditations, Part I" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
Ever/wonder/what/happens/when/you/masterbate/and/you/leave/yourself/all/messy?
|
|
/Well,/the/icky/residue/left/on/your/body/has/been/shown/to/clear/up/Acne!/
|
|
it's/true./A/proven/fact!
|
|
|
|
è "Red Pen" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
My teacher uses a red pen
|
|
She used one to give me an 'F'
|
|
I got so mad, I took that fucking red pen
|
|
And rammed it through her hand
|
|
|
|
The principal yelled at me, and so did my mommy
|
|
and so did the Dean
|
|
they didn't like it,
|
|
So I took my daddy's shotgun and gave them each a third eye
|
|
|
|
There, damn bitch, I told you.
|
|
|
|
è "Growing Up" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
Armpit Hair
|
|
I hate you... you're so smelly
|
|
|
|
I just Want
|
|
to shave you off just for fun
|
|
|
|
Stop Staring
|
|
at me... I just don't like none
|
|
|
|
This Pubic
|
|
Hair stuff... makes me sick. Icky!
|
|
|
|
è "Meditations, Part II" -Mendeleev" è
|
|
|
|
It/must/be/true/that/is/what/jh/just/said/because/i've/never/had/a/pimple/on/my
|
|
dick/so/oh/well/I/don't/know/it/may/just/be/a/coincidence.
|
|
|
|
è "Summer of '93" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
The breeze blew in from lake Michigan
|
|
And the sun shone upon this land
|
|
When I revved up my Dodge
|
|
And ran down an evil witch masquerading as a squirrel,
|
|
who just happened to be crossing the road
|
|
|
|
|
|
è "Ralphie" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
Ralphie
|
|
Be a Good Boy, eat your supper!
|
|
|
|
Ralphie
|
|
Be a good boy, take out the garbage!
|
|
|
|
Ralphie
|
|
Be a good boy, help your mother with those dishes!
|
|
|
|
Ralphie
|
|
Be a good boy, go play in traffic
|
|
|
|
Ralphie
|
|
Be a good boy, do your homework
|
|
|
|
Ralphie
|
|
Be a good boy, shoot that Commie
|
|
|
|
Ralphie
|
|
Be a good boy, stay away from those Foreign people
|
|
|
|
Ralphie
|
|
Be a good boy, help mommy with that dress
|
|
|
|
Ralphie
|
|
Be a good boy, mommy wants a spanking
|
|
|
|
Ralphie
|
|
Be a good boy, scrub mommy where she can't reach
|
|
|
|
Ralphie
|
|
Be a good boy, Don't tell those Policement the truth
|
|
|
|
Ralphie
|
|
Be a good boy, this won't hurt a bit... you'll actually like it
|
|
|
|
Ralphie
|
|
Be a good boy, stab your father.
|
|
|
|
Ralphie
|
|
Be a good boy, come right home after prison.
|
|
|
|
è "Spooge on Me" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
Spooge on me
|
|
I like it that way
|
|
Spooge on me
|
|
This isn't a song
|
|
Spooge on me
|
|
Poodie Killing snoopy doggy
|
|
Spooge on me
|
|
splat smooch sniff cry
|
|
Spooge on me
|
|
Out the door in the house
|
|
Spooge on me
|
|
a;lsdfjkas;jkldfasdl;kfj
|
|
Spooge on me.
|
|
|
|
è "Unsolved Mysteries!" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
The following is a real life story, not a dramatization or fictional event
|
|
So what, asshole? I am going to stalk your ass,
|
|
and you won't fucking care whether your syndicated TV series
|
|
does well according to that blowjob Nielsen
|
|
|
|
You're gonna' fucking burn in yer own house, bastard.
|
|
Now tell me more about the alien sightings.
|
|
|
|
è "Artistic License" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
I came down to the main channel, and
|
|
some guy practicing to be Tipper Gore's censorship advisor
|
|
Told me what I thought was poetry,
|
|
wasn't really poetry, get a load of that
|
|
|
|
Artistic license, motherfucker.
|
|
|
|
è "ChildHood Revisited" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
I sit here in the night,
|
|
haunted by a being
|
|
Blackness all around me,
|
|
|
|
I sit here in the day,
|
|
haunted by a being
|
|
Light all around me,
|
|
|
|
Nothing can make it go away,
|
|
Not my friends or my parents, not even me
|
|
I am haunted by that being, the being I call
|
|
|
|
Snuffy, the teddy bear.
|
|
The root of all evil in the universe exists in my bedroom.
|
|
|
|
è "PowerWalkers" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
A mild annoyance to me, you see
|
|
Is powerwalkers, they clutter the damn street
|
|
What, you expect me to steer around them, AND
|
|
those damn parked cars?
|
|
|
|
I can't do it, its IMPOSSIBLE, thats why
|
|
I bought myself a truck, and NOW
|
|
I run those darn powerwalkers over
|
|
Damn bitch, toldya'!
|
|
|
|
|
|
è "Snoop Doggy Dog 3l1t3" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
Woof, Woof
|
|
I collect WaReZ
|
|
Good warez, all warez
|
|
|
|
Woof, Woof
|
|
I never play my WaReZ
|
|
I just collect them,
|
|
|
|
Woof, Woof
|
|
I distribute my WaReZ
|
|
anf get lots of file points
|
|
|
|
Woof, Woof
|
|
I am a WaReZ maniac,
|
|
cantcha tell? I have no life
|
|
|
|
è "GaNSTaWiTHaBuRGeR" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
I will have 16 burgers to go
|
|
cheeseburgers, with bacon, lettuce, and tomato
|
|
On a sticky, flat, seseame-seed bun
|
|
|
|
I'll pay you $1.99, cuz that's the deal
|
|
You give me da' burgers, and
|
|
No harm comes to your kids.
|
|
|
|
See? I am the modern gangster,
|
|
my money is cholesterol, thats how
|
|
I strike fear in your hearts and minds.
|
|
|
|
è "Orgy" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
Wait, is this your arm? Whose leg is this?
|
|
I'd kinda like to know who I am having carnal knowledge of
|
|
If its that fat ugly chick that jumped onto the bed at the last
|
|
minute, man, I'm outta here.
|
|
|
|
è "Calculus" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
Lots of numbers, and cool squiggly lines,
|
|
all over my paper! that used to be a living tree.
|
|
|
|
è "Mortal Kombat - 2001" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
Stanley the Faggot-Warrior throws some acid onto
|
|
Belch the Andromeda-monsters face, and then fatalities him
|
|
by turning into a hooker, and suffocating the poor beast
|
|
between his breasts.
|
|
|
|
è "Cold Toilet" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
I walk to the bathroom in the still of the night
|
|
prithee! a creaking step, I step over it
|
|
And enter the linoleum-tiled washroom, with
|
|
its king the Toilet presiding
|
|
|
|
I walk over to the toilet, and challenge it, and begin
|
|
And after I am done, exhausted
|
|
I feel a shiver begin
|
|
deep within me, and run through all my being
|
|
|
|
Behold, that mysterious effect, piss-shiver. Beware, and
|
|
Be afraid, be very afraid.
|
|
|
|
è "yA kNoW iM sTrAPPeD" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
Shoot the sherrif..
|
|
Cop-killer
|
|
Makes no difference to me
|
|
I just like throwing rocks from high bridges onto passers-by down below.
|
|
|
|
è "The Romantic Urban Child" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
lets be sensitive
|
|
lets be kind to each other
|
|
lets love, and
|
|
share our toys, because,
|
|
after all, aren't we
|
|
all people?
|
|
|
|
Thats right, can I borrow your UZI?
|
|
|
|
è "PC Cola" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
President's Choice Cola
|
|
How you slide down my throat
|
|
when I take a big gulp of you
|
|
... But are you Really Bill's Choice?
|
|
|
|
è "Rhyme Scheme" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
I lied.
|
|
This isn't a poem.
|
|
I lied.
|
|
This is a poem.
|
|
|
|
è "True Love" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
|
|
I love you from the botton of my heart
|
|
I love you from the top of my head to the tips of my toes
|
|
I love you so much I can't describe how much I love you
|
|
I love you more than Bill loves Hillary
|
|
I love you more than Oxygen loves Fire
|
|
I love you so much Love is just flowing out of me
|
|
|
|
Can we fuck now, bitch?
|
|
|
|
è "XXX Text File Revisited" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
I was out driving,
|
|
when I saw a hooker by the side of the road,
|
|
so of course,
|
|
I stopped, and
|
|
|
|
Being a courteous, mannerly boy
|
|
invited her in, and quite raucously,
|
|
|
|
Wouldn't you like to know the rest?
|
|
|
|
è "Jerry" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
oh do I like the little ladies
|
|
too bad they can only be loved once
|
|
Gee, just their smell lights me on fire
|
|
... Tastes Just like Chicken!
|
|
|
|
|
|
è "Newt Hunting is Illegal in November" -Mendeleev è
|
|
|
|
'twas early morning when the sun sent its first ray
|
|
over the hill, exploring what it may,
|
|
in the dusk diminishing, the grasses dim
|
|
|
|
We held hands and stared over the horizon, where
|
|
the future seemed so hopeful, and a thrill seared
|
|
my limbs with a cold shiver, made me feel alive
|
|
|
|
The love between us, what a tangible thing it seemed,
|
|
its ties strong and ever-bonding
|
|
But that was before the
|
|
|
|
errant bullet fired by a sight-impaired hunter entered the back of
|
|
your skull, pressuring your brains out your ears, and finding its
|
|
exit hole right over the eye where I kissed you the night before,
|
|
blood flying everywhere..
|
|
|
|
Well, don't matter now, I have a new girlfriend.
|
|
|
|
è "Happy Thoughts" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
Damn Bitch, Told you
|
|
Eat me now you whore of whores
|
|
Dude, Like What 'Da
|
|
Fuck... Damn Bitch, Told You Off Ho!!!
|
|
|
|
è "Metallica" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
Metallica Sux
|
|
They can go suck my cock
|
|
James Hetfield...Eat me
|
|
Lars Ulrich... Suck me RAW
|
|
|
|
Kirk Hammett... Learn Guitar
|
|
Jason Newsted... Fuck off
|
|
Cliff Burton... You're Dead
|
|
This Band Can Rot in Hell.
|
|
|
|
è "Ruthless" -Jamesy è
|
|
|
|
I feel no pain
|
|
It's stopped, the rain
|
|
I can't think strait anymore
|
|
My Mother spread on the floor.
|
|
|
|
A Sloppy job, I have done
|
|
Should have shot her with a gun
|
|
but No, I had to use the knife
|
|
Noiselessly I ended her life
|
|
|
|
Daddy isn't happy with me
|
|
Seeing Mom Lying next to me
|
|
|
|
Fuck him
|
|
|
|
è
|
|
|
|
Thank you for Reading this installment of MiLK Poetry..
|
|
If you'd like to Submit to MiLK Poetry, or ANY text files of your
|
|
own, Please U/l them to the [MiLK] HQ, Barney's Pleasure Palace!
|
|
|
|
|
|
è è è è è è è è è è è è è è [MiLK] Information è è è è è è è è è è è è è è è
|
|
|
|
[MiLK] Sights - Barney's Pleasure Palace! (708)965-3098
|
|
The Lunatic Phringe (708)232-0565
|
|
|
|
[MiLK] Member Listing - James Hetfield
|
|
Nyarlathotep
|
|
Epic
|
|
Plaid Wilderbeast
|
|
Mendeleev
|
|
|
|
[MiLK] Issue Number - 13
|
|
[MiLK] Issue Size - 14263 Bytes
|
|
[MiLK] Date of Production: 2/20/93
|
|
|
|
è è è è è è The World is Meltin', So is My Jello Puddin' Pop! è è è è è è è è
|