78 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
78 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
Û Û [MiLK] Û Û
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Û Û Û Û
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Û Û Mighty Issue # 3 Û Û
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Û²²²²²²²²²Û Liquid "MiLK's Guide To Being An Asshole" Û²²²²²²²²²Û
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Û²²²²²²²²²Û illicit By James Hetfield Û²²²²²²²²²Û
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Û²²²²²²²²²Û Kollections Û²²²²²²²²²Û
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Û²²²²²²²²²Û Û²²²²²²²²²Û
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ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ
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Are you like me, the kind of person that gets easily depressed? Do you
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have a low self esteem? Do you feel like you don't have a real friend in the
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whole world? Well, we here at MiLK know what it's like to be friend-less. To
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have absolutely no social life. To live a pitiful life. We here at MiLK were
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once like you, we used to have no lives also! But then we discovered the secret
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to social control! Now we're the talk of the town! we're the people you look
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forward to seeing at every party you go to! We are the Mr. And Ms. Popular of
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the town! What did we find out, you ask? what really IS the big secret to
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popularity?
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Totally Ridicule anyone in your path to the top of the social ladder!
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How do you go about doing this? It's all very simple and chronicled
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in the official MiLK Guide To Being An Asshole! Yes, that's right, the assholes
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of society are the popular ones leading the best lives! In 5 easy installments,
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we can teach YOU how to be an asshole! The MiLK Guide To Being An Asshole is
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Detailing out the 5 easy steps on how to totally metamorph into an asshole..
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1. Make fun of those that are less fortunate than you! That's right! Those
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Elderly don't stand a chance when you apply the witty remarks within The
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MiLK Guide To Being An Asshole! Those Paraplegics will be running home
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to mommy when YOU throw the insults at them! Those Epileptics will be
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shaking in their boots from the knowledge of how to throw the best put
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downs in The MiLK Guide To Being An Asshole!
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2. Make fun of those that are more fortunate than you! The Best way to make
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those friends you've always wanted is to bitch about a common bond; Hating
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people that have all the power in society! You'll learn how to make a
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preppy boy get so frustrated they'll go grunge!
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3. Forget about the people that got you where you are! Leave your old good
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friends one you've learned how to become an asshole, and a popular one
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at that, from MiLK!
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4. Run for Public office! Yes, one of the best ways to make friends is act
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like you Care about the government! Look what MiLK did for Once-Stoner
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with no friends, Bill Clinton! Now he has people waiting on him left
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and right. And Yes, You too just Like Bill Clinton can be an Asshole
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with the help of MiLK!
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5. Finally, the Last Step in becoming an asshole is to constantly drive
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during rush hour! Driving during rush hour automatically makes you
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an asshole, but with MiLK we can teach you how to annoy the maximum
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possible people!
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It's all made to look like Child's Play with the MiLK guide to
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Being an Asshole! You can pick up your copy at any MiLK Courier, or
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send 5 easy installments of $19.99 to:
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MiLK's Guide To Being An Asshole
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P.O. Box 5049
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Kennelworth, IL
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25125
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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯[MiLK] Information®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®
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[MiLK] Sights - The Obloid Sphere (708)965-3098
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[MiLK] Member Listing - James Hetfield
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Nyarlathotep
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[MiLK] Issue Number - 3
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[MiLK] Issue Size - 4022 Bytes
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[MiLK] Date of Production: 12/27/93
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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ Happy people are Ignorant People ®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®®
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