206 lines
6.2 KiB
Plaintext
206 lines
6.2 KiB
Plaintext
And now it's time for Mike's Madness (Part 1)
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TERM PROJECT:
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Explain the Universe. Give three seperate examples. Due tomorrow. No philo
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sophizing. Worth 50 points.
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MATH ASSIGNMENT, GRADUATE LEVEL.
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Create a new number system. It cannot contain the number 3.
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POLITICAL ASSIGMENT.
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A current unrest in El Salvador has lead to the arisal of two countering
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factions trying to take San Salvador and control of the country. Given 50
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billion US dollars, 500,000 combat ready Marines, the 1st, 6th and 9th Air
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bourne divisions, 200 F-16 and 150 F-14 fighters, 75 F-111 Fighter/bombers
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350 A-10 anti-tank low interception level aircraft, 9 fully loaded B-52s
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(conventional weapons only), the entire South American Intellegence Division
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from both DoD and CIA, plus 2 free-fall 50 megaton hydrogen/cobalt nuclear
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weapons, come up with a solution to this problem.
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+ SCORING +
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Per H-bomb left: 1000 points
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Per aircraft left: 10 points
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Per Marine/Airborne left: 1 point
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Delivering San Salvador into US Hands: Extra man
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Finding the magical egg: 250 points + new ability
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Killing dragon at end: 800 points, plus STAR by name in high score file
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----+++++====== POLITICAL ASSIGNMENT ======+++++----
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High Score Table
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----------------------------------------------------
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NAME : SCORE
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----------------------------------------------------
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: J. Stalin : 12
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: A. Hitler : -3
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: W. Churchill : 8 1/2
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: C. Hi-check : 4
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: A. The Great : 9
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: A. The Hun : 10
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: Good day, A. : 0
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: R. Reagan (*) : -36
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----------------------------------------------------
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Some famous (and not-so-famous) quotes:
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"Shit, higher education will rot your mind."
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-- T. Bundy
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"I NEVER said that!"
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-- M. Antionette
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"No, we haven't got Prince Albert in a can!"
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-- Queen Victoria
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"Alright, who is the wiseguy with the arrow?"
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-- General G. Custer
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"Now THAT'S entertainment!"
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-- Jack the Ripper
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"Look mummy! An areoplane!"
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-- Half the population of Hiroshima
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"What the fuck was that?"
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-- The other half.
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"WHAT?! Who shot at a commercial aircraft?! Oh . . . Was it Russian?"
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-- R. Reagan
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"Look mummy! An areoplane!"
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-- Billy Smith, resident Pearl Harbor.
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"Now THAT'S entertainment!"
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-- A. Hitler
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"At least they got Hiroshima first!"
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-- T. Yakamoto. Mayor of Nagisaki
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"I feel great! I'll live another 80 years!"
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-- Emporer H. Hito
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"Hey, what are these black things that keep biting us?"
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-- Half the population in Europe in 1560
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"Hey! Where did everybody go?"
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-- The other half.
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"Who is there?"
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-- S. Tate, March 17, OqOy1969
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"I dunno, what do you want to do tonight?"
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-- C. Manson, March 17, 1969
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"I think I'm gonna be sick . . ."
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-- J. Hendrix, last words.
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"Dan? Is that you, Dan?"
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-- President G. Bush, last words.
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"And furthermore, we're gonna party like pagan viking barbarians . . ."
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-- President Quaile, Inauguration Speech.
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"All the sudden, I feel like Jimi Hendrix . . ."
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-- J. Joplin, last words.
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"Hey, who is the guy with the moustache?"
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-- Germany, 1936
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"Who is there?"
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-- Czar Peter, October 17, 1917
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"OH YEAH! I wonder what this fucker'll do in fourth gear!"
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-- J. Dean, last words.
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"This is gonna be a pain in the neck . . ."
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-- J. Mansfield, last words.
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"Oh wow, are we having some more champagne?"
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-- V. Rappe, last words.
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"Oh, such a beautyful night for a swim!"
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-- N. Woode, last words.
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"Did you hear something?"
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-- Entire passenger and crew of Flight 201, somewhere over
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Lockerbie, Scottland.
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"Hey! I have an idea!"
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-- Lt. Col. O. North, A. Hitler, A. Hun, G. Khan, L. H. Oswald,
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T. Bundy, C. Manson, J. Hinkley, S. Sirhan, etc.
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"I'll bet you do."
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-- he American people, Europe, Eastern Asia, Rome, Eastern Asia,
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J.F. Kennedy, 13 women acorss the U.S., S. Tate et. al.,
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R. Reagan, Robert Kennedy, etc.
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"Oh shit!"
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-- Challenger crew (last words), every kamakazii who ever completed
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his mission, Japan (1945), Europe (1940), crew and passenger
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list from Hindenburg, Titanic, et. al., San Fransisco (OqOy1906),
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"OH SHIT!"
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-- Germany (1936-1945), Britian (1776), Anastasia (1917), Wall
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Street (1929, 1987), Los Alamos (1945), American Indians (1492),
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The Fry Guys (1988), Karacatowa residents (1898).
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"Damn."
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-- R. Nixon, O. North, J. and T. Bakker, G. G. Liddy, A. Hitler,
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T. Bundy, R. Dewey, C. Manson, U.S. of A. (1972), B. Arnold,
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A. Capone, [D N. Bonapart, G. Powers, J. Tower, D. Peunte,
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"Double damn."
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-- R. Nixon, T. Bundy, C. Manson, B. Arnold, N. Bonapart
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"Triple damn."
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-- R. Nixon, T. Bundy
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"Quadruple damn."
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-- R. Nixon
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"Who axed ya?"
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-- L. Bordon
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"I'm telling!"
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-- J. Hoffa, last words
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"Did you say something?"
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-- J. C. Lilly, walking passed dolphin tank.
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"Hello, what can I do for you, Mr. White?"
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-- San Fransisco mayor G. Moscone, last words
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"I think I'm gonna be sick . . ."
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-- Elvis Presley, last words
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"Do you smell something?"
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-- Oh, lots of Jews in lots of showers.
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"I'm SURE I smell something!"
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-- Bopahl, India.
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"Do YOU smell smoke?"
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-- Guests at MGM Grand, Las Vegas; Triangle Waist Shirt Co.,
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Boston
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"You married WHO?"
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-- E. Braum's mother.
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"You think it'll work, huh?"
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-- E. Teller, Los Alamos (1945)
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"Oh really? So how much you want for a couple of 'em?"
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-- R. Samuals, first man in America to buy a slave, after being
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told they wouldn't cause any problems.
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"The End"
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-- Message written on a 190 megaton hydrogen/plutonium bomb
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kept at S.A.C. Headquarters.
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But don't quote me.
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M. Beebe
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