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425 lines
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ELVIS IS EVERYWHERE ISSUE -- ELVIS IS EVERYTHING ISSUE -- ELVIS IS EVERYBODY ISS
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_ /\ _ _ /\ _
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/ \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE / \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \
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\_____/ () \_____/ MM MM 0 //0 0 //0 S E \_____/ () \_____/
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/ \ M M M M 0 // 0 0 // 0 SSSS EEEEE / \
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/ \__/ \ M M M 0// 0 0// 0 S E / \__/ \
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/__________\ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE /__________\
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DDDD RRRR OOOO PPPPP PPPPP IIIII N N GGGGG SSSSS
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D D R R O O P P P P I NN N G S
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D D RRRR O O PPPPP PPPPP I N N N G GGG SSSS
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D D R R O O P P I N NN G G S
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DDDD R R OOOO P P IIIII N N GGGG SSSSS
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A-M00SE-ING ANECDOTES AND ILLUMINATION BY AND FOR THE PAWNS OF THE
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M00SE ILLUMINATI
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Issue 43 | Disclaimer: The Editor does hereby take responsibility | 08/09/90
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---------- for the full contents of this newsletter. Accountability ----------
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is now the name of the game. A pox on playing it safe. Let's get real. Bl00p.
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**************************** THE ISSUE AT A GLANCE *****************************
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EDITORIALS AND LETTERS
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Standard opening from WRD
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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS
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Files available from Pickle
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Honorary M00se candidate
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EVENTS AND NEWS
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The Water-Logged Thr0ng-a-Th0n
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The US invades the US
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A most m00sey wedding
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INTERESTING ARTICLES
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The Hunting of the M00se
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Elvis Presley -- Pr0t0m00se?
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Thomas Jefferson on the Illuminati
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M00SCELLANEOUS NONSENSE
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Campus Crusade for Cthulhu
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**************************** EDITORIALS AND LETTERS ****************************
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Greetings, and welcome to Issue #43. It's late, I know, and I apologize.
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It took me a while to get material for it, and once I did, I wanted to hold it
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over for a report on an event that happened this past weekend, and I wanted
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more political content (which didn't really show, dammit ). But here it is,
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with some interesting and amusing items, and I hope you enjoy it. Be good, be
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m00sey, and send submissions!
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-Bill
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************************** IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS *****************************
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I have, in my account, copies of HR4079 (the Newt Gingrich idea discussed
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in Issue #41) and "Crime and Puzzlement," the article about Operation Sundevil
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written by John Perry Barlow. Both are far too long to include in M00se
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Droppings, but anybody who wants a copy should contact Pickle at:
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DICKSON@HARTFORD.BITNET
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These files are important, and frightening. Order your copy today.
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In addition, I have the new, revised M00se Illuminati information files.
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There are now three files: M00se.History, M00se.Charter, and M00se.Info. If
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you would like an updated copy, please send me a note.
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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Honorary M00se candidate suggestion from Goblin: Grant Morrison, writer of the
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"Animal Man" comic series.
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****************************** EVENTS AND NEWS *********************************
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[Sounds like a good idea to *me*. From Goblin. -WRD]
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Howdy all, (Bl00p!)
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How about a Summer Water-Logged Thr0ng-A-Th0n?? The M00ses in the general
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area of New England (and those who are willing to trek here from various
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distant-far-off-lands) could gather at a random place near water and bring as
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many floatation devices as they can create or buy and have a grand gathering.
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We could meet in M00sup connecticut if it has any lakes or water. Or any other
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m00sey-sounding place. I think the best bet would be to find a place with a
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great BIG lake and some space...and have a cook-out & a water-logged gathering!
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Anyone like the sugestion? Anyone know of a likely State Forrest? Or does
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anyone have access to a place that fits the discription?
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How about it? August sound likely? I myself prefer having the Water-
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Logged Thr0ng-A-Th0n somewhere in the first two weeks of August. But whatever
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works would be cool with me...
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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[Some political content that you all may not have heard about. Pilfered from
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the Anarchism list, via the Politics list. -WRD]
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Is the rest of the country aware that the U.S. army has attacked U.S. soil
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for the first time since the Civil War in the Operation Greensweep raid in
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Humboldt County, California? We're talking about 200 troops in camouflage with
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M-16s, helicopters etc. searching for deadly marijuana plants in the Kings
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Ridge national forest. At least three Civil Rights violations were reported in
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the first day of the raid, and a law suit is expected to follow. People have
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had M-16s waved in their faces with no explanation on private land, chased off
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hiking trails, etc., all in the name of "giving the forest back to the people."
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In fact, according to govt statistics, no one has been hurt by marijuana
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growers while visiting the national forests of Humboldt Co. (or elsewhere in
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N. Cal.) for years (the only incidents that have ever occurred involved
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disputes between growers, cops, and thieves).
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The fruits of this operation are laughable. After 4 days of operations,
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200 men have succeeded in finding only 600 plants; in comparison, a single
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helicopter eradication team averages nearly 300 plants per day. In short, a
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total boondoggle.
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Meanwhile, the army is trampling over some of the most beautiful backwoods
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wilderness land in the state, chasing hikers and hunters away and barring local
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people from access to their land. The excuse for this abomination is that
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President Bush promised the Latin Americans that he would adopt the same
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tactics against our drug producers as he was urging them to adopt against
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theirs. In short, he promised to treat America like a banana Republic! So
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much for all those narco-trafficante hippies in Humboldt Co. Your recreation
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area may be next! Protest now to the Bureau of Land MisManagement.
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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[An unauthorized account by Pickle. -WRD]
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Marriage is an institution. But there are occasions that make it seem
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like a good one. Oddly enough, caught up in an optimistic mood even after a
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long, dark, 245-mile trek to Syracuse, I had the opportunity to attend just
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such an occasion.
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On August 4, 1990, on a bluff overlooking Lake Ontario, a medium-sized
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group of people gathered together to bear witness to the marriage of Christy
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Russell, AKA GypsyLynx, to Steve Phillips. Nearly half the group, including
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yours truly, was dressed in renaissance garb, to suit the ceremony that had
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been chosen for the wedding. The sun shone more than adequately, and the lake
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lent a unique atmosphere to the event.
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The bride looked perfect in her outfit, and the groom looked worthy of
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her. The ceremony was brief and elegant, lasting not quite as long as the kiss
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that completed it. All the single women in the area got the opportunity to
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pluck a bow from the bride's skirt for luck in love and marriage, and we set
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off for the festivities planned to follow at a nearby Renaissance faire.
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It was a long day, and a lovely day. The faire was large and shady, with
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many friendly, interactive personalities wandering around keeping us all
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entertained. I taught the tax collector the secrets of the ancient martial
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art, KenKausch, and enjoyed a pleasant, icy neck-rub from a friendly young
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peasant woman who was helping me cool down. The bride and groom were honored
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with an announcement of their marriage at the joust, in the queen's presence,
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and their favored knight, Sir Micheal, put on a fine show until he was defeated
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by the cowardly, cheating Sir Geoffrey (who may not spell his name that way) in
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a treacherous, clearly illegal move.
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When the wedding mead ran out, this writer was able to satisfy his thirst
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at the many pubs at the faire, drinking a splendid quantity of ale. After a
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joyful and friendly pubsing to end the faire, we all went home, wishing the
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newlyweds a fine honeymoon.
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Naturally, no superb day can go unblemished. Par for the course, yours
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truly stumbled into the company of the bride's sister, a remarkable and
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beautiful woman who helped make the afternoon still more enjoyable. Sadly, she
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lives in Arizona. But such developments are to be expected.
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All in all, an experience to make one most glad for the couple and for
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being there to enjoy it. I now have a much higher opinion of faires in
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general, and, Leviam00se willing, will see some of you at another one in the
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not-too-distant future.
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M00ses present (off the top of my head): Christy, Steve, Pickle,
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Alacrity, Lord Trelf, Sabre, Guardian Angel, Half-Elf, the Innkeeper, Warm00se
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(who I finally met), Scamp, Ice, Niniane, Kamikaze. I apologize most profusely
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if I have forgotten anyone!
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**************************** INTERESTING ARTICLES ******************************
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[Submitted by Goblin, a m00sitarian issue close to our hearts. -WRD]
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Greetings fellow Bl00pers and Bl00p-ets,
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There is a grave matter that I would like to bring to your attention, a
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threat to our cousins in wilderness, the m00se (m00ses, Meese?) and Deer. They
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are being hunted and killed at an alarming rate in our country. In New
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Hampshire, people are trying to make a difference and march against this
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injustice. (What do you expect from a state whose motto is "Live Free or
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Die?") What about the rest of us? We could make a difference as M00ses. The
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only way to stop the senseless waste of animal life before it is too late is to
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write to your senators and speak out! There are animal rights groups all over
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the world that are always looking for volunteers, maybe the M00se Illuminati
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could leave their H00fprint on the world for endangered animals?
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I will have an address of a New Hampshire resident sometime soon who is
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a wealth of knowledge on the M00se and Deer issue. She would be happy to talk
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to any interested folk.
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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[Submitted by Pickle. -WRD]
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ELVIS PRESLEY -- PR0T0M00SE?
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There have been many myths and speculations hanging around Elvis like a
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shroud for the past fifteen years (more or less). Claims that he is not dead,
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that he was murdered, that his ghost has appeared in mold spots on kitchen
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appliances, have all abounded in this great country. The fine documentary film
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"Mystery Train" records an appearance by Elvis in a woman's hotel room. And,
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of course, the National Enquirer has listed more instances of Elvis-related
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supernatural phenomenon than one can comfortably count.
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Is it all a sham? A hoax? Have millions of people been deluded? Or is
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it science that has betrayed us, attempting to deny the truth about one of
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history's most important and powerful social icons?
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Well -- yes and no, on all counts.
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We must acknowledge that the body of Elvis Presley lies in its final
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resting place. The coffin is full, the headstone in place.
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But is that all there is to a human being? Can that possibly be all there
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is to Elvis, who may have been something more than a human being?
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Let us consider the facts. Elvis has survived, without pause, in the
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collective subconscious of the world, since his "death" on August 16 of 1977.
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But he has not survived in the form he died in -- he is not remembered as a
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tremendously overweight glutton, he is not canonized as a pathetic drug addict.
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Nay, he exists in the collective subconscious as the young, healthy, heroic
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Elvis, the Elvis who rescued the helpless and sang his heart out in the films
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that were made. Indeed, he is remembered not as he *was*, but as *what he
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would like to be remembered as*.
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In short, the Elvis that is being kept alive in the minds of countless
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people around the globe is an *ideal* Elvis; a Jungian Elvis, if you will.
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This is the Elvis that is painted on velvet, this is the Elvis that Mojo Nixon
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sings about.
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But how could the Jungian Elvis differ so from the Elvis we saw in his
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last years?
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My theory is that Elvis was in possession of extraordinary power -- the
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power, not only to immortalize himself with the energy of others' minds, but
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the power to remake himself into the perfect being that he must be to provide
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the spiritual guidance that is his responsibility. Any illuminated being, such
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as a Bavarian, could achieve the first -- but the second? That would require
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the power of illuminated *confusion*, a power that we of the M00se Illuminati
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have refined beyond the abilities of other, lesser conspiracies.
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The evidence points very clearly, I think, toward Elvis as an early,
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secret disciple of Leviam00se. He helped pave the way for our great
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organization, and even today, the Jungian Elvis furthers our goals world-wide.
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Let us now recognize Elvis Presley as the higher being he is, and always has
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been.
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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[This remarkable item submitted by JiMb00se. -WRD]
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It will make all m00ses a bit gald to know that at least one founding
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father thought rather highly of the whole deal.
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I was preparing a long list of Jefferson quotes for a project I am working
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on, when I came across a reference to the Illuminati by *Thomas Jefferson*!
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I quote:
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"I have lately by accident got a sight of a single volume
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(the 3rd) of the Abbe Barruel's _Antisocial Conspiracy_,
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which gives me the first Idea I have ever had of what is
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meant by the Illuminatism against which 'Illuminate Morse',
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as he is now called, and his ecclesiastical and monarchical
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associates have been making such a hue and cry."
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He goes on to explain that "Barruel's own parts of the book are prefectly
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the ravings of a Bedlamite."
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He notes though, that he deciphered from the direct quotes of Wishaupt
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(founder of the Illuminati) a good deal about what the Illuminati are about.
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It seems that Wishaupt thought that the Masons had turned away from the
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true teachings of Christ (which, to Jefferson, meant a bunch of stuff about
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True Liberty). So he founded his secret society to spread, according to
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Jefferson "information, reason, and natural morality among men."
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I finish with another long quote:
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"This subject being new to me, I imagine that if it be so
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to you also, you may receive the same satisfaction in
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seeing, which I have had in forming the analysis of it;
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and I beleive you will think with me that if Wishaupt had
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written here, where no secrecy is necessary in our endeavors
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to render men wise and virtuous, he would not have thought
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of any secret machinery for that purpose..."
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How about that?
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Honest to m00se, I ain't makin' it up...
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*************************** M00SCELLANEOUS NONSENSE ****************************
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[Every once in a while, we like to advertise for the competition. It helps
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keep their guard down. This submitted by b0liver shagnastY iv, author
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unknown. -WRD]
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CAMPUS CRUSADE FOR CTHULU
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"It found ME!"
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"The obscene idol grotesquely squats on top of a rough hewn granite
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pillar. The fire around it crackles and roars high. We are joyously dancing
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around it all; hands linked, half naked, we are whole, laughing with joy and
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desire."
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Searching for excitement, power? Seeking a higher cause, one worthy of
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your very life? The Campus Crusade for Cthulhu offers all this, AND MORE! How
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does Tall, Green, and Slimy sound to you? Pretty scary. But you can handle
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it. You will have to learn how to. You will learn to yearn for the soft
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squeezing caress of undulating tentacles. Or you will be eternally sorry that
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you did not. Think that you are searching for meaning still? Well, search no
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more! We have found you. Soon, when you expect it least, our agents will
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contact you. Soon you will not have to worry about anything. Ever. Again. We
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know more about you than you can ever learn about us. And who are we?
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We are both the oldest and the newest college organization in existence.
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We are sponsored by the ancient Cthulhu Cult, which predates all history.
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Before the United States of America, before ancient Greece, before Atlantis.
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Before the first Illuminati attempts at world conquest our tentacles had an
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unbreakable grip upon the entire Earth. We have never let go. Ever since we
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were pre-men, the Cthulhu Cult has served the Great Old Ones, the unspeakable
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horrors of legend. It is they who lived eons before they brought life upon
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this Earth. They came from distant unknown space, falling out of the sky upon
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our virgin Earth. Through covert means, their lurking shapes held sway over
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our young planet, guiding it's course to serve their own needs. They destroyed
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the dinosaurs when they were done with them, and so made way for the first men.
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The Old Ones died three million years past, gone into the Earth, under the sea.
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Dead they were, yet undead; their dreaming still bodies reached out, and so
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molded the minds of our distant ancestors. The greatest of their High Priests,
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whom we know as Cthulhu, lay deep within his sunken R'lyeh Temple and guided
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all of history through the Cult. Ever we have prepared the world for the day
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they shall return. Then the world shall fall under the clinging grip of the
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Great Old Ones reborn. And only those who serve them in this life shall
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survive. For a time. That is why we worship Cthulhu, why you cannot afford not
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to. Ever we await his return from his tomb at R'lyeh. For we know that the
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words ever hold true.
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The history of our club is a strange and wondrous one; early on in this
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century the ever growing Cthulhu Cult founded the Campus Crusade at Miskatonic
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University, the hallowed center of learning located among the misty hills of
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Arkham, MA. Our first moves were carefully planned: information tables in the
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University Union, arcane bake sales, ceremonies in the remote regions of
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campus, and the like. After a year we had become a campus fixture.
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The next year we reached out for other campuses. Yale, New York
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University, SUNY-Binghamton, they were but a few. Now we have over 666 schools
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in our rule. And that is only counting the United States!
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Remember the uprisings of the sixties, REMEMBER Kent State? They were
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small experiments on our part, to demonstrate our power.
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By the end of the second year we had possession of the entire University!
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Classes were cancelled so that all could take part in our ceremonies and ritual
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Virgins of both sexes begged to be sacrificed on our behalf. Our political
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control of Arkham was absolute.
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Remember, we have been watching you for a very long time. We will
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continue to do so for the rest of your life. However long that shall be is up
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to you. So, join the fastest growing conspiracy on the planet! Be ready for
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the time of the re-awakening.
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* Intimate contact with those of like interests.
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* Eternal companionship in this life and the next.
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* The safety of numbers.
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* Spiritual support in case of legal prosecution.
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* Enhanced lifespan: chances of surviving the return of the
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Great Old Ones double when you are with us.
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* POWER -- Come the New Time, you will be given absolute control
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over the city of your choice, if all turns out as planned. The
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festering remnants of humanity will be yours to do with what you
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wish.
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* Never again shall you be bored!
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* Never again shall you be cold!
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* AND you get your very own membership card, which entitles you
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to a ten percent discount on all items stocked at our numerous
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occult shops!
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* Greatly reduced life expectancy.
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* Justified paranoia.
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* Constant fear.
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* Great chance to become a Cthulhu breakfast snack.
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* A death guaranteed NOT to be quick and painless.
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* For your own safety... Write for more information: CAMPUS
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CRUSADE FOR CTHULHU Box 544 SUNY-Binghamton New York 19301
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Or stop by our Offices in Phoenix, Denver, Salt Lake City, Philadelphia,
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Los Angeles, San Francisco, Dallas, Macon and Nashville.
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*************** AND, OF COURSE, THE UBIQUITOUS M00SE LIST UPDATE ***************
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All right, folks, please remove the following m00ses from your list:
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BETH1@KSUVM
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BENDZINS_THV@CTSTATEU (Salmonm00se)
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JDOTY@WESLEYAN (The Keeper)
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JBLUESTEIN@WESLEYAN (WabeWalker)
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Total Lost M00ses: 4
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Also, please change KG5927@BROCK1P to KARL@BROCK1P.
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Lastly, there is another change. But I'll let him tell you about it in his own
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words:
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This server is dedicated to a single function: correcting the spelling of my
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name. It cannot be accessed by listserv command, and is in fact, an entirely
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theoretical construct. It has come into being because I have detected
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misspellings in the following: Bill Dickson's M00se Illuminati distribution
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list, Jimbo Wales' Jimboserver, and the pardon that was just given to me
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by the governor for hacking up 37 innocent bystanders with a herring. All
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three spelled it as "Olsen" which is not only 20% incorrect, it violates
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the new FCC obscenity standards. Please correct this or I'll tell Tipper
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Gore where you live.
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Gary W. Olson
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34EPWQL@CMUVM
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(In case you didn't notice, Gary's name was spelled "Olsen" in the last version
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of the m00se list.)
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================================================================================
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UE -- ELVIS IS STILL THE KING ISSUE -- ELVIS EATS BOATS ISSUE -- ELVIS EATS BOAT
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================================================================================
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