374 lines
19 KiB
Plaintext
374 lines
19 KiB
Plaintext
If the fourth dimension is time, can I define a 4 dimensional array in a
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computer language, display it, fill it, do some odd rotation with it, and have
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the numbers I filled it with after I displayed it show up when I display it?
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(Ie, send numbers into the past?) How would I test that, knowing the numbers
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(having displayed it before I filled it)?
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This seems like an extremely M00sey question...
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Anyway, the idea came to me one night after eating a Subway Club with Extra
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Jalepinos (I'm mildly allergic to Jalepinos, and they make me
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somewhat...Buzzing... Kind of like eating Hash brownies...). I thought, "If the
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fourth dimension is Time, and my computer can define a 4 Dimensional array, can
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I use my computer to send messages back through time". The idea would be to put
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numbers on the visible faces of a 4D array and rotate them in such a way that
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they would go back through time. I've the concept down now, but testing leads to
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a little difficulty -- if I print the array out first, I then know what numbers
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were in there before and, well... paradoxes up the behind....
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Maybe someone out there in M00seland can come up with a good way to test this,
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but I don't want to mess with 4D arrays anyway, as I have enough troubles with 2
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and 3 d arrays. Indexing becomes a bit complex....
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array[x][y][z][WHAT] <- See?
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Still, it is a neat idea...
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-GreyfoxM00se
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Heinously Late Issue - Heinously Late Issue - Heinously Late Issue - Heinously L
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_ /\ _ _ /\ _
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/ \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE / \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \
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\_____/ () \_____/ MM MM 0 //0 0 //0 S E \_____/ () \_____/
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/ \ M M M M 0 // 0 0 // 0 SSSS EEEEE / \
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/ \__/ \ M M M 0// 0 0// 0 S E / \__/ \
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/__________\ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE /__________\
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DDDD RRRR OOOO PPPPP PPPPP IIIII N N GGGGG SSSSS
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D D R R O O P P P P I NN N G S
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D D RRRR O O PPPPP PPPPP I N N N G GGG SSSS
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D D R R O O P P I N NN G G S
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DDDD R R OOOO P P IIIII N N GGGG SSSSS
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A-M00SE-ING ANECDOTES AND ILLUMINATION BY AND FOR THE PAWNS OF THE
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M00SE ILLUMINATI
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Issue #39| Disclaimer: The Editors will place almost anything in |Mar. 21, 1990
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---------- this newsletter out of a frantic desire to fill the --------------
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issue, so don't blame them for the quality or content of the submissions. Except
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-ing those they may have written themselves, the enclosed items do not in any
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way represent the Editors' fnord opinions. In fact, let's be real safe, and say
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that as far as this newsletter is concerned, they have no opinions at all. OK?
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================================================================================
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************************************* STAFF ************************************
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Editor - Patrick Salsbury <V291NHTP@UBVMS.BITNET> (Never gets issues out
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on time.)
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Submissions to: DangerM00se <V291NHTP@UBVMS.BITNET> (What a slug.)
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Back issue requests: Max Handelsman <MHANDELS@DREW.BITNET>
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and Johnathan Clemens <FSJPC@ALASKA.BITNET>
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or <FSJPC@ACAD3.FAI.ALASKA.EDU>
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AND Joanne Rosenshein <JROSENSH@SBCCVM.BITNET>
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M00se List updates and changes: Herschm00se the Beanmeister
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<JMP91@GENESEO.BITNET>
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(This space to let): Contact WarM00se <V291NHTP@UBVMS.BITNET>
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BRANDYM00SE contacted me, now she gets to be mentioned here. Wouldn't
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you like to be a pepper, too? :)
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(Who's paying this guy, anyway?)
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**************************** EDITORIALS AND LETTERS ****************************
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Howdy!
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Yes. I know it's late. Yes. I know it's VERY late. But it's here now,
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ain't it? :)
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Sorry I've been so lax. My life has been a sine wave of late. Just when
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things are going really well, something comes along and screws everything up.
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Why is the header not the first thing in the issue? Well, time for
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something different.....Python does it, why can't we?
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Anyway, Happy Spring! On with the stuff!.....
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-Pat
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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Hey! Check this out, man! U.S. Law say I cannot buy booze, being under 21,
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right? "Eeen Dees Country, I am too young to drink Wodka." or something like
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that.
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Anyway, same U.S. law say nothing about me buying
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1) Grape Juice
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2) Sugar
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3) Yeast
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Hmm, says the Organic chemest. You know what happens when you put that lot
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together under the right conditions? You guessed it. A truly second rate wine
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suitable for a frat party or whatever! And who said eddycation never pays?
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'Course, it's not legal for you to put them together under the right
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conditions... But what are they gonna do? Bust into your house, see this shit in
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your closet, card you, and haul you off to the state penn? I somehow doubt it.
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Anyway, if you does it right, and bottles it right, and let it sit for a few
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months, it actually gets better! I have a half-bottle of 4-month old homemade
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wine (Was a whole bottle yesterday ;-) that is actually quite tasty if a bit
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sweet (I put too much sugar in, I think). It was AWEFUL three months ago. Really
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aweful. Cloudy, grody, y'know... But most of the crud settled out sometime
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during the 4 months. Neat trick that.
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Anyway, I have the recipe about, if anyone wants it. It takes a couple of weeks
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to ferment, and it (the recipe) is mainly a template from which you can deviate
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quite severely if you wish (to go blind :-) Seriously, though, I've deviated
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from in so severly as to use Bicarrdi Strawberry Daiquery stuff (It comes in a
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can as frozen concentrate) to make a strawberry wine. That was pretty good too,
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but it was too active to keep around (It somehow carbonated itself, and would
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shoot out like the bottle had been shaken... strawberry wine all over the place.
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No fun).
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-GreyF0xM00se
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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From: The Twiglit Zone <FSDEM2@ALASKA.BITNET>
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Attention all M00se:
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The white zone is for loading and unloading only. If you have to load or
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unload, please go to the white zone. Attention all M00se: The white zone is
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for loading and unloading only. If you have to load or unload, please go to the
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white zone. That's the white zone. The red zone is not for loading and
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unloading only. If you have to load or unload do not go to the red zone. The
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plaid zone is not for loading. If you have to load, please don't go to the
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plaid zone. Please do not go to the green zone, and do not even think about
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loading or unloading in the yellow zone if you know what is good for you.
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Loading and unloading is permissible in the pink zone on alternate days provided
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the name of the month does not end in Q, P or R. If the name of the month does,
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in fact, end in Q, P or R, loading and unloading is not permissible in the pink
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zone; neither is it permissible in the blue, orange or red zones. The beige
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zone may be for loading or unloading, however, not on the first date. All in
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all, the white zone is your safest bet. The white zone is for loading and
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unloading only. If you have to load or unload, please go to the white zone.
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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With snail mail rates going up, someone will probably eventually think that
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maybe a computer net could be used to send a large amount of text mail...
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Hmmm... Nah! It'll never happen ;-)
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-GreyF0xM00se
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******************************* EVENTS AND NEWS ********************************
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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According to Purdue's newspaper, "The Exponent," this week has been officially
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declared National Orgasm Week by Rodger Libby, a sociologist and social
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psychologist.
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Libby says we need Orgasm Week "because we need positive news about sex. Over
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the past few years the media has given sex a bad name, and I want to present
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good news about sex."
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This week, Libby will be delivering humorous lectures on the subject as well as
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passing out condoms, lubricants, and pins which read "I Came for National Orgasm
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Week."
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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I seem to recall in a not so distant issue of M00se Dr0ppings, that someone
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mentioned the pandemonium of getting a rubber stamp together that said something
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to the effect of:
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THIS BILL HAS BEEN RECLAIMED BY THE U.S.
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TREASURY DEPT. FOR DESTRUCTION. DO NOT
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HONOR. IT IS NO LONGER LEGAL TENDER.
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And then going around stamping all the $$$ we could lay our hands on. Feeding $1
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bills into change machines, and then getting more bills for the change, stamping
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them, and feeding them in, ad infinitum. Well, one of the questions raised was
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"Where can we get them?" My fellow m00ses, that question has been answered. I
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now work for the Cole Key Company, in the Maine Mall, in South Portland. One of
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my jobs is key carving, and another is the fashioning of rubber stamps. Right
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there in the store. I've already made my first prototype. I will gladly make
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copies for any and all m00ses interested in this wonderfully heinous mischief.
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The total cost for the stamp is $5.00. Tax here is 5%, adding another
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$.25. Postage is close enough to $1 to make no nevermind, so the total cost for
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an official unofficial m00se illuminati havoc stamp is $6.25, payable either
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cash or check, whichever is most convenient. Please send to the following
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address ASAP:
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pay to the order of: Jeff Cavanaugh
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University of Southern Maine
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Room 253 Hastings Hall
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Gorham, ME 04038
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Please send payment soonest, and I'll send stamp soonest as well.
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Happy government toppling to everyone, and bl00pski!!!!
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Mitya the Red M00se
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p.s. Pat and I have decided that t'would be best to use black ink for our stamps
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as opposed to red, since WE don't want to be caught at this, knowhuttamean,
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Vern..? Enjoy, and bl00p away!
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MtRM
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***************************** FICTION AND POETRY *******************************
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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The time:Some time in the twenty third century
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The Place:The USS Enterprize
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Spock has just found out that pizza with anchovies makes him trip.
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Kirk: Bones! What's wrong with Spock?
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Spock: 'sssh nodhing wrong, capt'n, baby.
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McCoy: It sounds like he's on drugs...
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McCoy holds up his tricorder and scanner.
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Tricorder: WHIRRRRRRRR WHIRRRRRR WHIRRRRRR <PING>
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McCoy(Examining the tricorder): I'm not getting anything, though.
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Spock: Oh, wow, man, the walls are breathing...
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McCoy: Damnit, Jim! I think he's tripping. We'd better get him to
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sick bay.
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Kirk: What caused it?
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McCoy: What has he eaten recently?
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Spock: pizzah with anchovies and a side order of tribble juice.
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McCoy: He's drunk tribble juce before, so it must be the Pizza.
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Spock: Oh wow man, where's my shades?
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McCoy: Damnit, Jim! He's getting worse...
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Will the Enterprize ever be the same? Will Spock become a habitual
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Pizza and (Ugh!) anchovies user? Will all the tribble juice suddenly
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dissappear? Will I ever be able to turn out a FUNNY bar trek?
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-GreyfoxM00se
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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From: GR4302@SIUCVMB.BITNET
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Subject: Randomly Generated Poetry (Wyrd oft nereth unfaegne...)
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I programmed a small fast spinning database for glosses (easy to do on the
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right machine), then gave it the 200+ most common words in the Anglo-Saxon
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corpus (with MdnE glosses), indulged the machine in a variety of artsy
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software, then went back to the database and spun it like slot machine or
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randomly thrown Tarot, and received the following poetry:
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Warrior, take thy journey creation long;
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An Artifice falls, bloodies all heaven;
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Measure much, choose when to
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Ask, sit, thy bow let rest.
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Allow worthy wrath against grasping rule.
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Do thy wood work. Do not fail or lose the way.
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Someone must protect the earth there--
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Blood comes when some choose so much.
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I wonder what R.A. Wilson would think?
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Jeff T.
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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From: Jonathan Held <HELD61@SNYPOTBA.BITNET>
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There was this keyboard. On this keyboard there was lots of
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little keys. Each of the keys would sit and sit all day long. It was
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quite a boring place to live. Then one day, U heard from Y who
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heard from T who heard from R who heard from E about S. S was an
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amazing key. She had curves that U would kill for. U knew that
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he could never really get close to S because all of the other keys
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were so crowded in that he couldn`t squeeze through to meet her.
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U was very discouraged for a really really really long long long
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time. He thought about S more and more, though he had never even
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met her. He decided that he had to see her, he just had to. So he
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began his planning.
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A week later, he began his long trek over to S. First, he leaned
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over and beat Y right into the keyboard. Now, he was getting
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somewhere. U crawled over next to T, who was looking more and more
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scared every second. U grabbed T by his shoulders, and flung him
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right off the keyboard. The next obstacle was R.
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R was a mean, rough tough bully. He kicked and punched at U,
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trying not to let him through. However, U had his emotions
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backing him up. He swung back at R, bouncing him up over the number
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row. Finally at E, U lashed out as hard as he could knocking E
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right into W and killing them both.
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The rest of the keys were quite appalled at such behavior, all
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except for S. S was really impressed by U`s strength and perseverence,
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and was very flattered by the whole situation.
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Finally, U and S were together.
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The only problem is, certain words were totally out of the
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question: you can`t spell TRY, RETRY, WET, WETTER, TREE, or WERE
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anymore.
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But we`ve still got US.
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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*************************** M00SCELLANEOUS NONSENSE ****************************
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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(this text is taken from Kathy Glomski on talk.religion.newage in News)
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THE LESSON
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Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and gathering them
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around him, he taught them saying,
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Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
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Blessed are the meek
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Blessed are they that mourn
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Blessed are the merciful
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Blessed are they that thirst for justice
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Blessed are you when persecuted
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Blessed are you when you suffer
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Be glad and rejoice for your reward is great in heaven....
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Then Simon Peter said, 'Do we have to write this down?'
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And Andrew said, 'Are we supposed to know this?'
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and Phillips said, 'What if we don't know it?'
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And Bartholemew said, 'Do we have to turn this in?'
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and John said the other disciples didn't have to learn this
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and Judas said, 'What does this have to do with real life?'
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Then one of the Pharisees present asked to see Jesus' lesson plans
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and another inquired of Jesus his terminal objectives in the cognitive
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domain. A third chastised him for failing to include an anticipatory
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set.
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And Jesus wept.....
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******************************* MEET THE M00SES ********************************
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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From: SFROBE@CLEMSON.BITNET
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Subject: New Chapter Info
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Official M00SE Corespondence _ /\ _
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/ \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \
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From: Stephen Roberts \_____/ () \_____/
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President of the Stephen Roberts Chapter of / \
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of The M00SE Illuminati / \__/ \
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/__________\
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Dear Fellow M00se,
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I received your posting about the M00se illuminati and immediately became a
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convert. Since there were no known existing chapters on the Clemson campus, I
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preceded to declare my self a member, and immediately came up with a silly,
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meaningless initiation ceremony with which I could initiate myself. Since that
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time, I have strived to reach the ideals of M00sehood and spread the conspiracy
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to as many new chapters as possible. As of this date, I have personally
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presided over the opening of five new chapters here at Clemson. The M00se is
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reaching out across our campus, slowly now, but with increasing speed. Already,
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the SIGN is appearing across campus on boards and signs. Confusion and
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bewilderment posseses the minds of the masses.
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Below is the list of new chapters. Unfortunately, only one can be reached
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by e-mail (other than myself).
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Chapter name Presiding Bull Moose E-mail address
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Stephen F Roberts Stephen F Roberts SFROBE@CLEMSON
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Robert F Nelson Robert F Nelson RFNELSO@CLEMSON
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Ted Collins Ted Collins
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Joe Wintz Joe Wintz
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Gary Ulmer Gary Ulmer
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All of our new chapters would be interested in receiving a copy of M00se
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Droppings, and anxiously await our first copy.
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Thank you for enlightening me and our new throng.
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Bloop,
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Stephen F Roberts
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*************** AND, OF COURSE, THE UBIQUITOUS M00SE LIST UPDATE ***************
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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I have to get the latest one from HERSCHM00se. I'll send it along when I
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get it.
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Heinously Late Issue - Heinously Late Issue - Heinously Late Issue - Heinously L
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