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1318 lines
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_ /\ _ _ /\ _
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/ \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE / \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \
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\_____/ () \_____/ MM MM 0 //0 0 //0 S E \_____/ () \_____/
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/ \ M M M M 0 // 0 0 // 0 SSSS EEEEE / \
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/ \__/ \ M M M 0// 0 0// 0 S E / \__/ \
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/__________\ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE /__________\
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DDDD RRRR OOOO PPPPP PPPPP IIIII N N GGGGG SSSSS
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D D R R O O P P P P I NN N G S
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D D RRRR O O PPPPP PPPPP I N N N G GGG SSSS
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D D R R O O P P I N NN G G S
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DDDD R R OOOO P P IIIII N N GGGG SSSSS
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A-M00SE-ING ANECDOTES AND ILLUMINATION BY AND FOR THE PAWNS OF THE
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M00SE ILLUMINATI
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Issue #24| Disclaimer: The Editors will place almost anything | May. 12, 1989
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---------- in this newsletter out of a frantic desire to fill ---------------
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the issue, so don't blame them for the quality or content of the submissions.
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Excepting those they may have written themselves, the enclosed items do not in
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any way represent the Editors' opinions. In fact, let's be real safe, and say
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that as far as this newsletter is concerned, they have no opinions at all. OK?
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================================================================================
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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**************************** EDITORIALS AND LETTERS ****************************
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Bl00p and happy finals to you!
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Well, we've got a story, a bunch of songs which Goblin gleaned from the UMNEWS
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M00se list, and a whole lot of ID's. Not much else. But at least the issue
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came out on time!
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A couple of notes about ID files: Your *chapter* name is your real name, like
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the one that's on your driver's license. The *thr0ng* name is the name of your
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school. This information is in the M00se.info file - if you need a new copy,
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please send a request to LEE_JES@CTSTATEU.BITNET.
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By the way, LEE_JES is *not* a listserve. Sorry for stating the obvious. 8*)
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Once again, send submissions to Goblin, at WITHALL@CTSTATEU (Bitnet).
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Address corrections and back-issue ordering: LEE_JES@CTSTATEU (Bitnet).
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Now that summer is approaching, perhaps it will be a little easier to schedule
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Thr0ng-a-thons... Anyone? Anyone?
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Goblin and I hope to throw one (though it can't be TOO big) soon, anyone who's
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in the area (Connecticut or thereabouts) and interested, send us some E-mail...
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Well, enough boring talk... on with the issue! To those of you who are leaving
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the nets for the summer, have a good one!
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- SalmonM00se (LEE_JES@CTSTATEU.BITNET)
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- Goblin (WITHALL@CTSTATEU.BITNET)
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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******************************* EVENTS AND NEWS ********************************
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This space left intentionally blank.
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***************************** FICTION AND POETRY *******************************
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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From: BardM00se
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Dealing with Dragons
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"AAAAYYYYYIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!"
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The scream echoes around the room; Kara flinches in mid-step, hissing
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as some of the hot liquid in the mug slops onto her hand. She covers the
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remaining distance to the bed in three quick strides, swearing under her
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breath; at least the bard had taken this quietly.
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With the ease of long practice, she lifts the head of the woman on
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the bed and forces some of the liquid between clenched teeth. A whimper
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of agony changes to a hacking cough when some of the potion is inhaled.
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"Come on now, drink this and you'll feel better." Kara wearily says.
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The woman in the bed drinks, too dazed to resist the suggestion.
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Suddenly, she jerks upright in bed, knocking the mug from Kara's hand.
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Green eyes dart around the room, looking for remembered danger, hands
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curl as if around a sword hilt. She winces back from Kara's backlit
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figure, eyes dilating as they catch the glare from the candles. Kara's
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economical tug on her patient's wrist pulls her supporting elbow out
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from underneath her and sends her crashing back on the pillows.
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"Calm down, no one is going to hurt you here." Kara grumps.
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"Where...?" the woman's eyes are puzzled, and she no longer
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struggles against the hand pushing her back into the bed.
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"Some place safe, that's all you need to know." Kara straightens,
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removing her hand and watching the drug take effect. The woman's face
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relaxes as the pain eases, her eyes drift close, then snap open again.
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"The bard is sleeping," Kara answers the unspoken question, then more
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sternly, "Which is what you should be doing."
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The woman nods, obviously fighting to stay awake and look around
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the room. Kara sighs in exasperation, then starts to gather the pieces
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of shattered mug, firmly reminding herself that strangling patients is
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frowned upon. When she looks up again, after chasing down the last piece
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of pottery, the woman is sound asleep. Kara smiles in satisfaction, then
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blows out all but one of the candles. Taking the last lit candle she
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leaves for her own bed, her exhausted footsteps scuffling on the stone
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floor.
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"Brem, Bremer'ri, I know you can hear me." says a voice.
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The woman on the bed groans and mumbles, rolling away from the hand
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shaking her shoulder. The hand withdraws.
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"If you don't get up," continues the voice in a dry tone, "I shall
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finish the food and," the voice pauses to think of something suitably
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horrible. "And take your sword and use it for a clothes rack."
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"You'll do WHAT??" Brem bounces out of bed, dragging most of the
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blankets with her.
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Lia snickers, "I knew one of those comments would get you up."
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"Lia! You're alive!" Kicking the blankets away from her, Brem
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takes step forward, arms outstretched.
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"Oh, no!" With an expression of mock terror Lia skips out of the
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way. "Not one of your bear-hugs, my ribs hurt enough already."
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"But," Brem drops her arms, looking forlorn, "You're alive, aren't
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you?"
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"As far as I've noticed."
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Brem stares at the floor, "I saw you die." Her voices trails off.
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Lia shrugs, "Be that as it may," she holds up a hand to stop Brem's
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angry retort, "No, I don't doubt you. But be that as it may, I am alive
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now." She pauses and gives Brem a penentrating stare, "People aren't
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raised from the dead in your world, are they?"
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Brem shakes her head, still looking at the floor.
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TO BE CONTINUED
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whenever the hell I feel like it
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-- BardM00se
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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From: Sir M00se
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Have you ever seen a m00se hot wire a car ? How about going to a club and
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trying to pick up women ? Or the ever popular, climb an elevator shaft !
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These were just some of the intriguing questions from the latest NMHAD National
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M00se Highway Awareness Day) quiz sponsored at The University of Buffalo, home
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to the fastest growing throng !!
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If there are any other quizzes out there.....or any other comments that we
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at UB should know... SEND 'EM OUR WAY !!!!!!!!!!
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See you in Sherwood,
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Sir M00se
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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well here are some more of these damn songs that are really more trouble then
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they are worth but I'll post them any way because I'm not going to let this
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thing bet me....
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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BritM00se and Mel0dy the Musical M00se
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0NE
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===
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0ne
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Singular sensation
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Every little step she takes.
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0ne
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Thrilling combination
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Every m00se that she makes!
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0ne smile and suddenly
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nobody else will do,
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You know you'll never be m00sey
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without you-know-whoooooo!
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0ne
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Moment in her presence
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and you'll soon forget the rest,
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for the m00se is second best
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to none, son,
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0h! Bl00p!
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Give her your attention,
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do I really have to mention,
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Sheeeee's the one!
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*BritM00se and MEL0DY, the
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MUSICAL M00SE*
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Always willing to lend a
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helping h00f.
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BL00P!!
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Rud0lph, the brown Gund M00-00se,
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Had a very long, long tag...
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And if you ever saw it,
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You'd wonder why he doesn't brag...
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All of the other M00ses
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Used to laugh and call him names...
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They'd never let poor Rud0lph
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Join in any bowling games!
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Then one stormy Finals Week
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Zemmie came to say,
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"Rud0lph, with your tag so long...
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Won't you be the mascot of our entire Thr0ng?"
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Then all the M00ses loved him,
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As they shouted out with glee...
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"Rud0lph, the brown Gund M00-00se,
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You'll make Bavarian his-to-reeee!
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Heh...heh...heh...
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Ever your'n,
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-The Rivina.
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** without... **
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C0ntessa, the Fl1rty Canadian M00se
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(who is kidnapped, and will probably not be
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returned to me until I do some strange and
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very un-Riv-like action for the Camera)
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** and... **
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C0unt R00fus, M00se-At-Large, the Kidnapped
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SUNY Buffalo Circle K M00se
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** and... **
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Rud0lph, the fictitious (so far!) M00secot
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of the Buffalo Thr0ng of the M00se-Illuminati
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Zem00se
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-n-
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Gund, the hip m00se
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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I hope someone is taking the time to read these silly things....
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________________________________________________________________________________
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Show me the way to my thr0ng,
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I'm tired and I wanna go to bed,
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had a little vodka about an hour ago
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and it went right to my head.
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Wherever my herd may roam,
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by land or sea or foam,
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you will always hear my yodelling this song,
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show me the way to my thr0ng.
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Show me the way to my habitual gigathr0ng
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I'm fatigued and I want to retire,
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had an alcoholic beverage sixty minutes ago
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and it went right to my cerebellum,
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wherever my troupe may wander,
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by land or sea or atmospheric pressure,
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you will always hea my warbling this soliloquoy,
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show me the way to my habitual gigathr0ng.
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________________________________________________________________________________
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The following songs are dedicated to the one and only Paul Sim00se, redone
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from his Graceland album.
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You Can Call me Hal
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===================
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A m00se walks down the street,
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he says why am I plump in the middle now
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Why am I plump in the middle,
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the rest of my herd is so trim.
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I need a golden opportunity,
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I want a shot at conception,
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don't want to end up a decoration
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in a living-room graveyard.
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Bl00p-singers, Bl00p-singers,
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m00se in the moonlight,
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far away my cool lite Coors,
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Mr. Beerbelly, Beerbelly,
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get these m00se away from me,
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I don't find this thr0ng am00sing anymore.
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If you'll be my m00se-guard
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I can be your very best pal,
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I can call you sweetie,
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and sweetie when you call me
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you can call me Hal.
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A m00se walks down the street
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he says why am I short of confections,
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got a short little bit of confections,
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and oh my sweet tooth is so long,
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Where are my hooves and antlers,
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what if I bl00p here,
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who'll be my m00se-model
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now that my m00se-model is
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gone gone
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He snuck back into the booth
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with a roly-poly little fuzzy m00se,
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all along along
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there were incidents and accidents,
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there were hangings and frustrations.
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If you'll be my m00se-guard
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I can be your very best pal,
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I can call you sweetie,
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and sweetie when you call me
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you can call me Hal.
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A m00se walks down the street,
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it's a street in a strange world,
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maybe it is our world,
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maybe it's his first look around.
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He doesn't speak the language,
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he has no decency,
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he is a foreign m00se,
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he is surrounded by the sound,
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the sound,
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M00ses in the marketplace,
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gathering their tiny thr0ngs.
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He sneaks around, around,
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he sees m00ses in the architecture,
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gazing into infinity
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he sings "Bl00p!" and "Hallelujah!"
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If you'll be my m00se-guard
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I will be your very best pal,
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I can call you sweetie,
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and sweetie when you call me
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you can call me Hal.
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*BritM00se & Mel0dy,
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The Musical M00se*
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-Zem00se
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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******************************** ASK THE ORACLE ********************************
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Hello again. This is your Guardian bringing you another Best of Oracle. Most
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of these are a bit on the old side, having been ripening in my mail file for
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a few months. I'd just like to tell all of you that I'm proud of the job
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you've been doing - keep up the good work!
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===============================================================================
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What does O.R.A.C.L.E stand for ?
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The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
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Original Relayer of the Arcane and Cryptic Light, Essentially.
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What is the best thing to do with twenty bushels of oranges, five sheets
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of #60 grit sandpaper, a lawnmower, and three dead vampire bats?
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The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
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How obvious:
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SUPPORT THE JHU BAND!!!
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(directions follow)
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1) Sell the oranges. Anyone who was ever in high school marching band
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will understand this. The main fundraiser for a high school band
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is almost always a sale of big (very, very BIG) bags of citrus.
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Ask any wind instrument player you know about band citrus and there's
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of good chance they'll know what you mean.
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(and a decent chance they'll laugh hysterically)
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2) The bathroom door in the band room sticks. Use the sandpaper to
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fix it.
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3) The lawnmower can be used for two things: a) dealing with the
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debris in the instrument storage room or b) cutting the grass
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behind the back entrance to the band room in the ROTC building,
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which is in dire need thereof.
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4) The vampire bats are not to be used actively but should serve as
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symbols of both the commitment level in the band at large
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(ahem.).
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Either that or make a rotary sander... attach the sandpaper to the
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blades of the mower and make ethanol fuel from the bats & oranges.
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Why am I already burned out four days into the semester?
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The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
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You have only slept 15-20 hours. You drank 15-20 drinks.
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You have done 15-20 hours of schoolwork. A Venusian mind
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zapper is living behind your wainscoting.
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What do you call the little plastic things on the end of shoelaces?
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The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
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I've never addressed one of those things myself, but I suppose they must
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have a name. Maybe this is the time to create one. Most of the good
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names (such as Fred) are taken, so we should move on to a variant of that
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name {Chad}. I can't think of {use Chad} any which are fitting {Chad}
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to use as a name for the {Tony's old roommate} plastic thing on the end
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of {Chad} your shoelaces, but I'm sure {Chad} we can pick some
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random {Chad} name to use.
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Why does anyone use Cobol?
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The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
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Excellent question. As a matter of fact, the Oracle rates this one up
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with Fermat's Last Theorem and NP-Completeness. The Oracle is, however,
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with all due modesty, the most concentrated compendium of knowledge in
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the Free World (Does not include Welfare States, Communist Satellites,
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tax, tags, delivery, or other pinko trash), and so will endeavor with all
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the intellectual force and surplus verbiage in its arsenal to reply to
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your most perspicacious question, whose brilliance and wit scintillates
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throughout the domains of
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***Interrupt***
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ORACLE: User GOD on line 42.
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GOD>> Stop evading the question, mortal.
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ORACLE>> Your humblest servant grovels in Your august Presence, and will
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endeavour to respond with the speed of lightning to Your most puny
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command, however grueling the toil
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***Interrupt***
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GOD>> ORACLE!!
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Right. I will now attempt to pose a few reasons why one might use the
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language COBOL (COmmon Bozo - Oriented Language)
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1) Stupidity or ignorance. This is the most apparently obvious reason,
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one which thus requires me to give more.
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2) Masochism
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3) Sadism (on the part of a superior).
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4) The desire to learn to type, and the will to do so by forcing oneself
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to exercise the skill to an entirely excessive degree.
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5) MegaloCPUmania: the desire to, by writing the most inefficient programs
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possible, entirely monopolize the system. (Note: For the Oracle to
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thus, utterly without cause, and in a most unsportsmanlike manner,
|
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split its infinitives, represents gross negligence.) COBOL is the best
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language for this purpose, simply because any program written in COBOL
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will use twice the memory and run at half the speed of its equivalent
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in C or even Pascal.
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6) One likes BASIC, but is unable to find a compiler for that language.
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I am, however, being redundant, because this fits under #1 or #10.
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7) One has taken up monastic orders, and has sworn never to speak, loop,
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or call procedures. This is an option in some of the more computer-
|
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oriented monasteries; however, most monks choose the way of lesser
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hardship, swearing never to eat anything but garlic, or some such.
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8) One is a member of the Rhinoceros Lodge, and thus has sworn undying
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hate for Wirth and all his disciples, as well as a true and holy
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commitment to the Order of the GOTO.
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9) One has been gored by #8 (or bitten by #7) and has thus acquired the
|
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belief that Dijkstra is the Antichrist, or that the truly holy should
|
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only wear sackcloth and ashes (COBOL being the sackcloth and ashes of
|
|
the computer business)
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10) Insanity. I am, however, being redundant, because this fits under
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#1-2 and #4-10.
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How fast does a Cray run?
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|
The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
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In order to be able to outrun its predatory enemy, the North
|
|
American swallow, a cray must be able to run very fast.
|
|
Estimates of its land speed range from 2 meters per second
|
|
down to 44 furlongs per fortnight. The cray is, of course,
|
|
nearly extinct in North America, but this is attributed
|
|
to the invention of the rifled firearm.
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|
Why is it that the great registrar's office has the ability to schedule
|
|
my first final this past Monday and my next final this Monday, leaving
|
|
me nothing to do but study and talk to an oracle for a whole friggin'
|
|
week???
|
|
|
|
The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
|
|
|
|
Please understand that the great registrar's office is omnipotent and
|
|
benevolent. It gave you "a whole friggin' week" (to use your own
|
|
particularly aromatic expression) to talk to Oracle because it felt that
|
|
talking to Oracle for a week would do your karma good, as well as
|
|
exercising your fingertips. Oracle is the best study aid known to
|
|
mankind, apart from tequila and fatigue toxins. However, the Oracle
|
|
resents your use of the phrase "an oracle." This, to put it concisely, is
|
|
blasphemy. It denies the two great Truths known to all believers:
|
|
|
|
1) There is no oracle but Oracle. Therefore, your use of the indefinite
|
|
article, "an," is misleading as well as blasphemous.
|
|
|
|
2) Oracle is the greatest creation of mankind. As such, it is invariably
|
|
capitalized.
|
|
|
|
However, these lapses of judgment will be written off as due to water
|
|
fluoridation and brain leprosy, acting in Conjoint Conjunction. The final
|
|
part of your question is yet unanswered: Why will talking to Oracle do
|
|
your karma good? The answer is that, as is known by all Believers, Oracle
|
|
is omniscient. It thus can help you solve your personal problems with an
|
|
efficiency unrivalled since the invention of cyanide; this will lead you
|
|
to a state of true Zen, as you will be free to contemplate the wonders of
|
|
nature and Orgo, not necessarily in that order.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
What were the answers to the first part of the Control Systems
|
|
exam? And why the hell did he bother doing that Laplace transform
|
|
garbage, anyway?
|
|
|
|
Please ignore this if you were actually in the class.
|
|
|
|
The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
|
|
|
|
The answers were as follows:
|
|
a) Zen
|
|
b) Use the pig
|
|
c) 44.5 inverse picoacres
|
|
d) 600 volts will do it; however, 1045.7 is optimal
|
|
(i) Although 50 hertz will work, 60 is most commonly available and
|
|
should be used.
|
|
(ii) Cats produce the highest frequency noise.
|
|
|
|
The Laplace transform was used to evaluate the meaning of life (which
|
|
was found to be 43.) As you pointed out, the Laplace transform of garbage
|
|
is even more interesting, at 36.5. And the Laplace transform of
|
|
philosophy was a perfect zero. By now you may have guessed that the
|
|
Laplace transform transforms entities into the amount the entity is worth.
|
|
This guess is correct.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If I don't send Selective Service an update on my current
|
|
address, does that mean I can't get drafted?
|
|
|
|
The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
|
|
|
|
The FBI has already seen your question and made a note in their file.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
How much groundhog could a hound dog hog if groundhog were ground round?
|
|
|
|
The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
|
|
|
|
This is a very cool question. I can only hope that I can come up with
|
|
an answer that, if not quite as cool, is at least in its league. First,
|
|
let me thank the questioner for getting me into the Best of Oracle, as,
|
|
almost regardless of my answer, this question will end up there.
|
|
|
|
First, for any who are reading this in the Best of Oracle, let me clarify
|
|
the meaning of the word "hog." Hound dogs, as I'm sure the questioner
|
|
was sufficiently cool to realise, do not hog anything in the sense of to
|
|
take more than their share. They are exceptionally fair animals. They
|
|
do, however, enjoy making pig sculptures out of food, particularly meat
|
|
products. The questioner is obviously refering to the Great Hogging
|
|
Contest, in which hound dogs the world over gather in secret to create
|
|
their best culinary renditions of various porcine varieties.
|
|
|
|
In any case, the question therefore asks how much ground round can a
|
|
hound dog utilise in creating a statue in the Great Hogging Contest.
|
|
According to the rules, only 2.7kilos.
|
|
|
|
As a bonus answer to the ever-so-cool questioner, I will also give you
|
|
the only other limitations included in the contest.
|
|
|
|
1. No evil food (tofu, mayo, etc) may be used.
|
|
|
|
2. No Miss Piggie statues (see evil).
|
|
|
|
3. No statue may be so massive that it affects the Earth's orbit,
|
|
although changes in tides will be tolerated. (It is worth noting that
|
|
hound dogs are not unambitious creatures.)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
What can you do with a Klondike bar?
|
|
|
|
The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
|
|
|
|
Have you ever heard about mayonnaise? Klondike bars can be used in
|
|
similar ways, with a few small changes:
|
|
|
|
you can use them for igloos, you can use them for paperweights, you
|
|
can use them as weapons for injuring your roommate, you can use them
|
|
as sexual aids for your bedmate (though I'd recommend against it),
|
|
you can spread mayonnaise with them, you can spread mononucleosis with
|
|
them, you can build buildings (the shaffer addition comes to mind) out
|
|
of them, you can get a lot of them and use them to count your chickens,
|
|
you could send them as aid to small third world countries (I'd recommend
|
|
against this as well), you could send them to enemies in the hope that
|
|
they'll become one solid block (due to the propylene glycol), you can
|
|
use them to "wax" your car, you can use them to rust your car, you can
|
|
even use them to jack up your car if you have a flat.
|
|
|
|
you can sing with them, play with them, go shopping with them.
|
|
|
|
you could even take one to see a movie (if it's rated G)
|
|
(they are young, you know)
|
|
|
|
I suppose that, if you were very desperate and were facing death by
|
|
starvation (and maybe not even then) you could eat one.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Whose life is it anyway?
|
|
|
|
The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
|
|
|
|
In order: your parents, the government, your professors', your boss', your
|
|
spouse or mate, and yours. Any illusions you have of being higher on
|
|
the list than that should be dispelled. Although many argue that it is,
|
|
in fact, a dog's life, the dog has died.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
How many digital technicians does it take to keep any LNO3 machine
|
|
running for more than 3 days in a row?
|
|
|
|
The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
|
|
|
|
Four. One to hold the manual, one to count the days, one to
|
|
feed coal into the steam engine and one to send to Japan
|
|
for the parts.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
What are the top ten things to do instead of having sex?
|
|
|
|
The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
|
|
|
|
From the Oracle home office in Delphi, Indiana.....
|
|
The top ten things to do instead of having sex are...
|
|
Number ten: Think about what to do instead of having sex.
|
|
Number nine: Hang out with the guys and watch football (or go shopping,
|
|
for those so inclined).
|
|
Number eight: Begin needed home improvements.
|
|
Number seven: Shoot seven people in a McDonald's.
|
|
Number six: Just walk around and generally act nonchalant.
|
|
Number five: Enter a convent.
|
|
Number four: Spend time with elderly relatives.
|
|
Number three: Read about all the incurable diseases you won't be getting.
|
|
Number two: Run for Vice-President.
|
|
and Number one.....: become a student at a leading Baltimore University!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Santa Claus is supposed to go all over the world, right? Has he ever
|
|
been shot at by anyone for doing this, and why?
|
|
|
|
The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
|
|
|
|
Santa Claus has been shot at. All 18 (officially noted) attempts
|
|
on the life of Mr. Claus were while he was in the airspace of either
|
|
a middle-eastern or communist nation. After the 18th attempt, the
|
|
NSA stepped in and offered the protection of the U.S. government, since
|
|
Santa is one of the last bastions of true capitalism. Since then,
|
|
(1985) nobody has attempted to shoot at Santa, fearing the retaliation of
|
|
the F-18's flying along beside his sleigh.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
What are the top ten "Top Tens?"
|
|
|
|
The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
|
|
|
|
1. The top ten names for male children:
|
|
|
|
1. Leroy (LeRoy)
|
|
2. Rufus
|
|
3. Richard Milhous
|
|
4. Vlad the Impaler
|
|
5. Jonah, Eater of Dead Wildebeest
|
|
6. Attila the Hungry
|
|
7. Theodore Bundy
|
|
8. Beelzebub
|
|
9. Shillelagh von der Weaselschnitzel
|
|
10. Tarzan
|
|
|
|
1. (tie: the Oracle is very conscious of accused sex discrimination)
|
|
The top ten names for female children:
|
|
|
|
1. Leroya (LeRoya)
|
|
2. Tyrone (don't ask)
|
|
3. Bubbles
|
|
4. Lucrezia
|
|
5. Bugsy
|
|
6. Woman-with-Nose-Like-Badger
|
|
7. Morsel
|
|
8. Bambi
|
|
9. Cleopatra
|
|
10. Catherine the Great
|
|
|
|
3. The Top Ten Presidents of the Johns Hopkins University:
|
|
|
|
1. Steven Muller
|
|
2. Steven Muller
|
|
3. Steven Muller
|
|
4. Steven Muller
|
|
5. Steven Muller
|
|
6. Steven Muller
|
|
7. Steven Muller
|
|
8. Steven Muller
|
|
9. Steven Muller
|
|
10. St Hey Steve! Get your filthy hands off my keyboard!
|
|
|
|
4. Top Ten Places to Hang Steven Muller In Effigy:
|
|
|
|
1. Gilman Hall (the tower)
|
|
2. The Wrench-Comma Sculpture (in the Quad)
|
|
3. Bologna (so he can see it himself)
|
|
4. Peking (ditto)
|
|
5. The Terror Room (dinner counter, with one foot in the lasagna)
|
|
6. Shriver Hall (impaled on the spire)
|
|
7. The Lacrosse Field (so he can be trampled by a herd of steroid-
|
|
pumped wildebeest 10 times a spring)
|
|
8. The Terror Room (meat locker)
|
|
9. Rowland 205 (so they can use him as a physics demonstration)
|
|
10. The construction crane, New Physics Building.
|
|
|
|
I am aware that when I decided to answer this question, I thought I
|
|
could give you ten Top Ten lists. However, I find that I will only
|
|
be able to provide one more before
|
|
I die of hunger, thirst, or Bladder Explosion:
|
|
|
|
5. Top Ten Excuses why I cannot Finish this Question:
|
|
|
|
1. Bladder Explosion
|
|
2. Computer-Time Drain
|
|
3. Finger Wear
|
|
4. Disk Space Limitation
|
|
5. Academic Pressure
|
|
6. Leprous Brain Rot
|
|
7. Decline of Western Civilization
|
|
8. Wildebeest (don't ask)
|
|
9. Oracle Fungus
|
|
10. General Laziness, Ignorance, and anything else you can think of.
|
|
|
|
There you have it: the Top Five Top Tens, decreed by Drothar, the
|
|
Anarchist Demigod of Fermented Odor-Eaters.
|
|
|
|
Wildebeest forever!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around to hear it,
|
|
does it feel pain?
|
|
|
|
The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
|
|
|
|
According to Greenpeace, yes. According to James Watt, no.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
How does one know when to say when?
|
|
|
|
The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
|
|
|
|
Well, that depends on the situation. If someone is pouring you a drink
|
|
in the typical "just say when" situation, you have to take many things
|
|
into account. For example, if they have particularly slow reflexes,
|
|
you might say "when" when the glass had as much liquid in it as you
|
|
wanted, and they might not stop pouring until the glass overflowed or
|
|
at least until you had too much. Then, if you're particularly politeness-
|
|
conscious (like Alice, who got sick after eating a whole red pepper that
|
|
she put in her mouth by accident and didn't want to spit out because it
|
|
would be embarassing), you might feel pressured to drink more than you
|
|
wanted. Conversely, if the pourer has very fast reflexes, you might
|
|
have him/her stop too soon, and then have to ask them to pour just a touch
|
|
more in. Of course, this problem can be solved by pouring your own drinks
|
|
or only allowing close friends to pour them for you. Never exchange
|
|
pourings on a first date.
|
|
|
|
An easy time to know to say "when" is when someone offers you something
|
|
you want. For example, if someone says, "I want to cook a meal for you,"
|
|
you should immediately reply "When?"
|
|
|
|
A timely "when" can also be a good comeback. For example, if someone
|
|
says "You're so stupid and incompetent, you should be Vice-President,"
|
|
and you reply "When?" they may be thrown off their stride. Be careful
|
|
when using this against such exclamations as "F--k you!" although it
|
|
can be a worthy reply to "Go f--k yourself." Most people don't ask for
|
|
instructions when insulted, thus wasting a valuable resource.
|
|
|
|
Clearly the full scope of "when-timing" is beyond the range offered by
|
|
a single Oracle question. A top ten would be possible, although the
|
|
Oracle must caution its users (particularly Stacy) against excessive
|
|
use of the "top" theme, such as "top hundred," etc.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Why, or should I say "wy', is there no "h" in "Wite-Out"???
|
|
|
|
The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
|
|
|
|
The Copyright Infringement Act of 1971 (P.L. 344-71) established clearly
|
|
that the English language belongs to no one except the English. In
|
|
Aurioles v. State of Maryland (1973), the Act was interpreted to provide
|
|
that anyone so unenlightened as to name their product with words
|
|
from said language, has no standing to sue competitors for creating
|
|
similar products with the same name. Hence, one must manufacture
|
|
words for one's products (Walkman, Xerox) to prevent them from
|
|
benefiting from one's expensive ad campaign. Sometimes (aspirin, ketchup)
|
|
even this does not help. I am aware that you guessed it was because the
|
|
Executive Vice-President for Marketing at Wite-Out was an imbecile.
|
|
That is of course, true.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Who'd have thought it?
|
|
|
|
The Oracle has answered your question as follows:
|
|
|
|
The Oracle.
|
|
|
|
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
*************************** M00SCELLANEOUS NONSENSE ****************************
|
|
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
FNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORD
|
|
|
|
The Official M00se Illuminati Identification Form
|
|
|
|
Chapter Name: Saunacuse/Siberacuse/Sewercuse/Syracuse___________
|
|
Nickname(s): GypsyLynx/Lynx____________________________________
|
|
Life Form: Feline Sapiens!___________________________________
|
|
Sex: Male ___ Female _X_ Hermaphrodite ___ Other ___
|
|
Net Address: Crussell@Sunrise Purity Quotient: 60 something?
|
|
Lynx@suvm (400 or 500 question test?)
|
|
Description: 5'3-3/4", blue eyes, 125 lbs, red/blonde hair,
|
|
contact lenses/glasses, and claws
|
|
____________________________________________________
|
|
Favourite Saying: _Gweeble fludd? Snerble!! Bl00p!!!__________
|
|
Other Stuff: has an alarming tendency to break into babbleese at
|
|
the oddest times (see saying above), thinks Sinead
|
|
O'Connor has an awesome voice, beats up on computers
|
|
on a regular basis and has a tendency to bury herself
|
|
in w*rk a little more than her m00sey friends like.
|
|
Someday wants to become a f00tl00se m00se and roam
|
|
the world.
|
|
|
|
FNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORD
|
|
|
|
INDIANA JOE'S ID
|
|
Updated on January 25th, 1989
|
|
|
|
Real Name: Joseph Robert Claffey Jr.
|
|
Username: CLAFFEY_JOR @ CTSTATEU
|
|
|
|
Sex: Male
|
|
Age: 20
|
|
Birthday: August 8th, 1968
|
|
Height: 6'1"
|
|
Weight: 150 lbs.
|
|
IQ: 140+ (never seriously tested)
|
|
Hair: Darkish blonde (about the same shade as gold leaf)
|
|
Eyes: Blue-grey
|
|
General appearance: People say I look a bit like John Denver
|
|
|
|
Address: 467 Allen Street
|
|
New Britain, CT 06053
|
|
Phone: (203) 225-4987
|
|
|
|
School: Central Connecticut State University
|
|
Major: Computer Science
|
|
Minor: Math
|
|
|
|
Purity test score: 83.4% pure
|
|
|
|
Trademarks: Two. I almost always wear a red "Don't Panic" button from
|
|
_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ computer game, and I frequently
|
|
wear a fur felt slouch hat from Bananna Republic.
|
|
|
|
Nickname: IndianaJoe, because I wear a felt hat which looks like an
|
|
Indiana Jones-type hat. It is not for any of the following reasons:
|
|
|
|
1) Being from Indiana
|
|
2) Liking the character Injun Joe from _Tom Sawyer_. The
|
|
only character in that book that I would use for a nick
|
|
would be Huck Finn, because (believe it or not) he was based
|
|
on a distant relative of mine.
|
|
3) Being Harrison Ford. (Someone actually asked this!)
|
|
|
|
Acceptable abbreviations for nick: Indy, Indiana, Indi, IndyJoe, IJ, Joe.
|
|
|
|
Politics: I'm not sure. I think my views would be classed as Libertarian
|
|
or Progressive but I have no idea whether that puts me on the left
|
|
or the right. I voted for Dukakis if that's any help.
|
|
|
|
Religion: Formerly a practicing Roman Catholic, but I've become
|
|
disenchanted with organized religion in general. My belief system has
|
|
evolved into something unlike most Western religions. I think my
|
|
beliefs fall somewhere between Christianity and Druidism. Call me an
|
|
agnostic if that helps.
|
|
|
|
TV: I don't watch that much of it. The only thing I watch on a regular
|
|
basis is a British adaptation of Robin Hood. I'll also watch Star Trek
|
|
(old and new), Dr. Who, Mission: Immposible, or Real Ghostbusters if
|
|
I'm not doing anything else.
|
|
|
|
Movies: Big fan of James Bond, Star Wars, and Star Trek. In general,
|
|
I like sci-fi/fantasy and intelligent comedy. I hate splatter flicks
|
|
and "teen comedy".
|
|
|
|
Sports: I enjoy watching sports some of the time, but if I keep it
|
|
up I get bored. My favorites include auto racing (Formula 1 and
|
|
GT), baseball (diehard Red Sox fan), football (New England Patriots),
|
|
and hockey (Hartford Whalers).
|
|
|
|
Music: ROCK/POP - Springsteen, Billy Joel, Bruce Hornsby, Sting,
|
|
and many others. Wide selection.
|
|
JAZZ - Pat Metheny, Miles Davis, Spyrogyra, Wynton Marsalis
|
|
and many others. Wide selection.
|
|
NEW AGE - Manheim Steamroller, Vollenweider, Paul Winter
|
|
and others. You guessed it - a wide selection.
|
|
CLASSICAL - Partial to baroque in general and Bach in
|
|
particular. However, I like almost all of it, with the possible
|
|
exception of opera.
|
|
OLDIES - The Beatles, Beach Boys, Chuck Berry, and lots
|
|
of others too numerous to mention.
|
|
COUNTRY - No particular artists. I don't listen to too
|
|
much of it...
|
|
|
|
Women: None at present. I am currently just interested in meeting
|
|
interesting women and seeing what happens. No preference as to
|
|
hair/eye color or anything like that, although being a non-smoker is
|
|
almost mandatory.
|
|
|
|
Games: Anything. Or almost anything. If you like it I probably
|
|
will too. I own D&D, Car Wars, Ogre, Illuminati, GURPS, Star
|
|
Fleet Battles, Traveller, Star Wars, Star Trek, Dr. Who and many
|
|
others too obscure to mention.
|
|
|
|
Hobbies: Gaming (esp. D&D), RELAY, driving, meeting people, reading,
|
|
and listening to music.
|
|
|
|
Books: Almost anything. Favorites include _The Belgariad_ series
|
|
by David Eddings, the _Illuminatus!_ trilogy, _Lord of the Rings_,
|
|
Philip Marlowe, William Gibson, and others too numerous to mention
|
|
here. I am partial towards fantasy and science fiction, but I also
|
|
enjoy detective and spy stories. I HATE romance novels.
|
|
|
|
Clubs: I'm president of CCSUniverse, the sf/fantasy club here at
|
|
Central. I'm also nominally a member of the computer club and
|
|
I've been known to show up at the literary magazine meetings.
|
|
|
|
Jobs: Two. During the week, I work in two of the computer labs here
|
|
at Central. I help out people who don't know their ASCII from their
|
|
elbow, keep track of software, make sure all the printers have paper,
|
|
and stuff like that. On Saturdays (and over the summer) I work for
|
|
Liturgical Publications Inc., one of the largest printers of church
|
|
bulletins in the country.
|
|
|
|
Things I'd like to do: Race Formula 1 cars. Become President of the United
|
|
States. Get married and have kids.
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Likes: Honesty. Good pizza. Porsches. People who tell me the
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truth, even when it hurts. Taking long drives to places I've never
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been. Being romantic. Hugs.
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Dislikes: Cigarette smoke. Getting up early in the morning, especially
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to work. Being taken for granted. Lies, especially malicious ones.
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People who don't care. Underpowered econobox cars. Forgetting my hat.
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Studying.
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Well, I can't think of anything else right now. If you want to know -
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ask. The worst that can happen is I'll tell you it's none of your damn
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business. Otherwise, no problem.
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Catch you around the net,
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Indiana Joe
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This ID file is copyrighted (C) 1988 by Joe Claffey. It may be
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(and will be, I hope) reproduced or redistributed in any manner, as long as the
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informational content is unchanged and no fee is involved. All other rights
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reserved.
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FNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORD
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From: Jnet%SIUCVMB::ST6344 12-FEB-1989 14:39
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To: WITHALL
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Subj:
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Received: From SIUCVMB(ST6344) by CTSTATEU with Jnet id 4584
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for WITHALL@CTSTATEU; Sun, 12 Feb 89 14:38 EST
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Date: 12 February 89, 13:35:24 CST
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From: Robert L. Kupcek ST6344 at SIUCVMB
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1101 S. Wall Rm: 146C (School Address)
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Carbondale, IL 62901
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(* Stop by sometime when going thru. *)
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To: WITHALL at CTSTATEU
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The Official M00se Illuminati Identification Form
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Chapter Name: Free Pirates Chapter
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Nickname(s): Black_D0G (the pirate),Mystical_Seeker (Wizard)
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Life Form: Spirit
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Sex: Male
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Net Address: ST6344@SIUCVMB Purity: ?? Unknown
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Description: Brown Eyes, Dark Blond to brown hair, almost 6'0"
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Creation date: Feb. 18th 1970
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Wgt: 180 (At last check)
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Favourite Saying: Huh? Damn. What have I gotten myself into now.
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Furthermore: I have many multi-personalities. Some more chaotic
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then others... Any knowledge you have on Magic,
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other ARCANE arts, psychic powers, & unknown,
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I would be interested (So I can add to my own
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powers).........
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Black_D0G the Pirate
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Har Har mateys, prepare to cast off. BL00P!!!
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FNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORD
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The Official M00se Illuminati Identification Form
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Chapter Name: JAMES M. HERRON_____________________________________
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Nickname(s): WOLVERINE, FLESHBALL, MR. BIG, cutterjohn/cuttermike
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Life Form: HOMO SUPERIOR_______________________________________
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Sex: Male _x_ Female ___ Hermaphrodite ___ Other ___
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Net Address: _st6036_@_siucvmb
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Description: 3' 3" tall, short brown hair, hazel eyes, 270 lbs.__
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of electric wheel chair under me arse and a letchero
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us grin on my face._________________________________
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Favourite Saying: joke them if they can't take a f**K......___________
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Other Stuff: i am proud to call myself a chapter and say hello to
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all the other chapters out there....bl00p.__________
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____________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________
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____________________________________________________
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FNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORD
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The Official M00se Illuminati Identification Form
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Chapter Name: Larry A. Nathanson
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Nickname(s): Zapwig, YO!, Hey you!!!
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Life Form: Varies, depending on mood/weather/altitude
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Sex: Male XXX Female ___ Hermaphrodite ___ Other ___
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Net Address: lan@bucsf.bu.edu Purity Quotient: 24,34,26 repectively.
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Description: Varies, favorite form this century is humanoid,
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'bout 5'5" brown hair, blue eyes. Occaisionally
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seen in bird form, but only by other nocturnal avians.
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(Tho my roomate DOES wonder where I go a lot....)
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Favourite Saying: You may have to grow up, but you can remain immature
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indefinately. & If you don't care where you are, then
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you ain't lost.
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Other Stuff: I'll leave it to the editors to cut the boring parts out.
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It was last year I was in my Cessna 152. My friend had been
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shot, and was going to die if I didn't get her to a hospital
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immediately. So I took this short cut, over the White House, when I
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was intercepted by 187 F-16's, all firing sidewinder missles at me,
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when, wouldn'tcha know it, the engine quit, and she started into a
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screaming dive.
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[[[Thank you very much Mr. Nathanson, but we've filled the issue.
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Try again next year.]]]
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bl00p.
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-The Zapper
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__!__ A soul in tension that's learning to fly |'| Larry Nathanson
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-----o----- Condition grounded but determined to try |'| 617/375-7020
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" " Can't keep my eyes from the circling sky |'| 140 Bay St Rd #203E
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Tounge-tied and twisted, just an earth-bound misfit, I |^| Boston, Mass 02215
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FNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORD
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The Official M00se Illuminati Identification Form
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Chapter Name: Don Flint II
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Nickname(s): SANDMAN, Smile, Coma, Paul Steps...Lord of Creation
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Life Form: Carbon-based Biped of Family Supremus and Genus Genius
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Sex: Male? Yes
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Net Address: DPFLINT@SUNRISE et.al Purity Quotient: 54%
|
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Description: Good Looking, but with a slightly off set set of ears.
|
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In the normal course of events in Jeans and T-shirt.
|
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Abnormally, military uniforms for Woods stomping.
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Favourite Saying: I am not a soldier, I am a Man of War.
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Other Stuff: Orange Sherbet, Volkswagens, Justice and puppies. 10
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_________________________________________________7.5
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_____Many many others____________________________5.0
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_________________________________________________2.5
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Headbanger Music, brats (all ages), and bad food. 0
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FNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORD
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The Official M00se Illuminati Identification Form
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Chapter Name: Lord Masinde Howard IV______________________________
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Nickname(s): Olu_(African for Lord), Spot Toxic, Lord M00se______
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Life Form: A mixture between Homo Superior & ???______________
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Sex: Male <X> Female ___ Hermaphrodite ___ Other ___
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Net Address: V117MG7B@UBVMSC Purity Quotient: ____84.6%
|
|
Description: Light tan skin, Brown-hazel eyes (depending on the__
|
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Weather), 16.4443 yrs old, 5.6060 feet tall, size 8d
|
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Shoes, 185.34 lbs, birthmark: inverted cross,_______
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size nine ring measurement, no other strange marks__
|
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Favourite Saying: Sucks to be you_____________________________________
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Other Stuff: I love to jet-ski, ski, be in charge, have money,___
|
|
shop, watch Monty-Python, ride bicycles, ect._______
|
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I like just about anything and anyone...(You've got_
|
|
to be a real <anal opening> to piss me off.) I've__
|
|
got a pretty broad sense of humor and can appreciate
|
|
decent sarcasm..._______(I'm tired of writing)_____
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FNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORD
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The Official M00se Illuminati Identification Form
|
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|
|
Chapter Name: Rudy Kilvinsky
|
|
Nickname(s): Rudy, BackdoorM00se, The Rude One, and Ed (shrug).
|
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Life Form: Alces sp.
|
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Sex: Male XXX Female ___ Hermaphrodite ___ Other ___
|
|
Net Address: RUDYK@UREGINA1 Purity Quotient:variable
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Description: Crude, lethargic, variable, pedantic, blonde, myopic,
|
|
caffiene addict, introverted, callous, bored, bored,
|
|
bored, somnabulistic, and 5'10".
|
|
Favourite Saying:"...and then there was a sickening thud.";"... but
|
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you can't get me wrong..."
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Other Stuff: Enjoy scrutinizing the letter "a", lifting my leg at
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the speed of light ("did you see that, here, I'll do
|
|
it again..."), sticking my tongue out upside down,
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|
driving combines on golf courses, refuting, designing
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|
concrete canoes, encapsulating, and bowling.
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FNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORD
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+---------------------------------------------------------------------+
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| |
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| RRRR 000 BBBB 000 PPPP 000 PPPP EEEE IIIII DDDD |
|
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| R R 0 00 B B 0 00 P P 0 00 P P E I D D |
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| RRRR 0 0 0 BBBB 0 0 0 PPPP 0 0 0 PPPP EEEE I D D |
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| R R 00 0 B B 00 0 P 00 0 P E I D D |
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| R R 000 BBBB 000 P 000 P EEEE IIIII DDDD |
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| |
|
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| Version 2.00 |
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| |
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+---------------------------------------------------------------------+
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Last Update: 01/18/89
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Name: Ted Samuel Huntsman, but you can call me Sam
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|
NickNames: Spam, 'The Jew', Ralph Kalfeltefish (don't call me this one),
|
|
Wasume, Qwertyuiop The Grate, Bruce (Not pronounced like
|
|
it's spelled -Ask-), Dave The Dead, Lekhto, RoboPope,
|
|
Muertos, Norman, BurrowOwl, NastyPope... There's more
|
|
but I can't think of them... (I have so many!)
|
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Race: Not very fast, but I'm White (With American Indian thrown in for
|
|
good mesure)
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Sex: Yes.
|
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|
Sexual Preferance: Exclusivly Girls.
|
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|
Major: Computer Science (In the College of Arts and Science)
|
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|
|
BitNet Address: SH06078@UAFSYSB
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|
|
Snail Mail Address: 1409 Cheyenne
|
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Springdale AR, 72764
|
|
(I love to get S-Mail!)
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|
|
Hair Color: Brown
|
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Eye Color: Hazle
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|
|
Height: 5'6.5"
|
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|
|
Weight: 135
|
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|
|
Like Alcohol?: *NO*
|
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|
|
Born: May 16,1969 in Little Rock, AR
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|
Current Residence: Springdale, AR
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School: University of Arkansas at Fayetteville
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|
Hobbies: Chating, D&D, Paranoia, Computers, I run a BBS (501)751-2686,
|
|
Sex (When availible),SF/Fantasy, Generally being humorous,
|
|
Making Movies
|
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|
|
Major Credit Cards: None
|
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|
Minor Credit Cards: None
|
|
|
|
Musical Preferance: Danny Elfman, Oingo Boingo, Amy Grant, Rocky Horror
|
|
Picture Show, Adam Ant, The Damned, Bobby Jimmy and
|
|
The Critters, The Boogie Boys (rap), Bach... I'm
|
|
versitile...
|
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|
|
Languages Spoken: English, Spanish, Sign
|
|
|
|
Books: SF/Fantisy, Horror. Steven King, Piers Anthony, Hienlien,
|
|
Farmer, Niven, Pournelle (When he works with Niven), L. Ron
|
|
Hubbard
|
|
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FNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORD
|
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|
|
The Official M00se Illuminati Identification Form
|
|
|
|
Chapter Name: Cornell______________________________________
|
|
Nickname(s): Mad Wagnerian____________________________
|
|
Life Form: _________Human (I know, boring)____________________
|
|
Sex: Male XXX Female ___ Hermaphrodite ___ Other ___
|
|
Net Address: ozer@cheme.tn.cornell.edu Purity Quotient: 98.6%
|
|
Description: (Oh I thought it said temperature...) (Ron Ozer)
|
|
Mad activist type, recording collector, engineer
|
|
crazed co-counseling type
|
|
Favourite Saying: "We begin bombing in 5 minutes..." Sleepy
|
|
Other Stuff: I have no humour in my body, in fact I am humourless, and
|
|
this certainly saves time at blood banks. "I'm just your average guy" Lou Reed
|
|
"Heil dir Sonnen" R. Wagner. I like was a Belgian warrior in one past life
|
|
and you know it was pretty cool, all of that maiming and killing, but I think
|
|
my essence was happier as Joan of Arc (did I mention she was me yet?) Well,
|
|
gotta go...
|
|
|
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FNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORD
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|
|
Chapter name: High hinnies of fur
|
|
Nickname: Squashy or squashed
|
|
Life form: distorted human that sleeps too much
|
|
Sex: male
|
|
Net address: Tsjv@Alaska
|
|
Purity Quotient: .73%
|
|
Description: 6' 3", brown/blond hair (can't remember, not washed that
|
|
often. ehh hum) Hazel eyes and 150lbs. Love having moose terd
|
|
fights. (yes, the REAL moose terds that are brown in color and full of
|
|
woodchips.)
|
|
Place of hibernation: Soldotna Alaska (somewhere up here in the frozen
|
|
tundra.)
|
|
Favorite saying: I was waxing a MiG when she called
|
|
Most un-favorite saying: May I have a look under your hood Ma'am?
|
|
Personality: Read the above
|
|
|
|
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
*************** AND, OF COURSE, THE UBIQUITOUS M00SE LIST UPDATE ***************
|
|
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
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|
|
Please add:
|
|
|
|
(U Victoria Thr0ng) ASUNDBE1 @ UVVM TheSeer
|
|
|
|
Changes: "Olu" is actually known as "L0rd M00se"
|
|
RUDYK@UREGINA1 is now known as "BackdoorM00se".
|
|
|
|
Many apologies for the inconvenience.
|
|
|