235 lines
9.9 KiB
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235 lines
9.9 KiB
Plaintext
_ /\ _ _ /\ _
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/ \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE / \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \
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\_____/ () \_____/ MM MM 0 //0 0 //0 S E \_____/ () \_____/
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/ \ M M M M 0 // 0 0 // 0 SSSS EEEEE / \
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/ \__/ \ M M M 0// 0 0// 0 S E / \__/ \
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/__________\ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE /__________\
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DDDD RRRR OOOO PPPPP PPPPP IIIII N N GGGGG SSSSS
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D D R R O O P P P P I NN N G S
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D D RRRR O O PPPPP PPPPP I N N N G GGG SSSS
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D D R R O O P P I N NN G G S
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DDDD R R OOOO P P IIIII N N GGGG SSSSS
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A-M00SE-ING ANECDOTES AND ILLUMINATION BY AND FOR THE PAWNS OF THE
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M00SE ILLUMINATI
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Issue #9 | Disclaimer: The Editor will place almost anything | Aug. 26, 1988
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---------- in this newsletter out of a frantic desire to fill ---------------
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the issue, so don't blame him for the quality or content of the submissions.
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Excepting those he may have written himself, the enclosed items do not in any
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way represent the Editor's opinions. In fact, let's be real safe, and say that
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as far as this newsletter is concerned, he has no opinions at all. Okay? Good.
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===============================================================================
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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************************** EDITORIALS AND LETTERS ***************************
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Fellow m00ses, the time has come to choose which candidates to support
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for the oncoming election. We must choose somebody who will uphold the
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values of m00sedom, who will promote the cause of confusion, who is easy
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for us to manipulate. Let us consider the choices, and discuss this topic
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further on CSBB.M00se.
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So far as I have been able to determine, our choices are as follows:
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George Bush: "I will never apologize for America. I don't care
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what the facts are."
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Micheal Dukakis: Does anybody have any idea what Dukakis has been
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saying?
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Bill the Cat: America's ill, but so is Bill.
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Zippy the Pinhead: Wears a clown suit, has a talent for evading
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topics by going off on obscure tangents. Both
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good qualifications for the presidency.
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Spuds MacKenzie: Small animal, not as active or as interesting
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to look at as the Clydesdales were. Much like
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Bush and Dukakis in this respect. Named after
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a potato. Bush and Dukakis both resemble potatoes.
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Some guy on MTV: The Bavarian Illuminati calls MTV 'Empty Vee'.
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They may be right on this point.
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If I've left anyone out, let us know on CSBB.M00se. Let the presidential
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race begin!
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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******************************* EVENTS AND NEWS *******************************
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Nothing new, once again. However, we have found the m00se who created
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confusion with his unofficial subtitle of Camp Relay II. The one I thought
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was official, remember?
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>I was the one with the term Camp Relay II: The Quest for M00se. It was not
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>meant to be an official usage..just a joke that I don't even remember when I
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>used it. Sorry for all impending confusion.
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>
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> Beez
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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***************************** FICTION AND POETRY ******************************
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Once again, none here. I'm considering ripping off Wolverine's idea
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and writing a serial based on the members of the M00se Illuminati, but the
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problem of having 60 plus characters discourages me....
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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*************************** MISCELLANEOUS NONSENSE ****************************
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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There is PLENTY of nonsense this issue! Our first bit is from Mommydammit,
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who writes:
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>Bill,
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>
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> on the way way to Lake Winola in Pennsylvania, i noticed something
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>very suspicious. within two miles of each other are interesting exit names...
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>
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>such as:
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>
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> thr00p ( a combination of thr0ng and bl00op!)
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> Dickson City
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> m00sic
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>
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>honest and for true. you decide. is it coincedence or....m00sidence?
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>
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> pamela/mommydammit
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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This issue also marks the first installment in Rich Simon's Philosophy Corner.
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Here it is.
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Is nothing anything? Is nothing something?
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IS NOTHING SIMPLY NOTHING?
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Frightening, isn't it. . . to think that
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maybe, just POSSIBLY nothing is. . .
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JUST NOTHING.
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No more, no less than absolute nil. Nada.
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Zilch. Zero.
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Does that frighten you, to thing that there
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might be no more to nothing than simple nothing?
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It's just something to think about.
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Or just nothing to think about at all.
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Remember: If nothing is anything,
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and anything is everything,
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then it stands to reason that
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nothing is everything. Therefore you
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should worship nothing, for it is
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everything.
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Cut it if you wish, Bill.
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But for god's sake don't believe it.
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rich
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Beez wrote with lots of nonsensical tidbits. Among them:
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>I located a T-Shirt that had Bullwinkle surfing saying Moose on the Loose. If
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>you are interested, just write me....
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>
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>Beez is starting the Suave Ladies Man in quite dry clothing Association. It is
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>an Anti-Manly Men in Wet Clothing movement. We really have nothing against
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>Manly Men, except that we don't like getting wet. PsuedoSensitive Men need not
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>apply. Write to Beez (rsrab@suvm) for your free subscription.
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>
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>(This article was not included in a report by the Daily Orange, the Syracuse
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>University newspaper which can't even be considered yellow journalism. This
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>copy was obtained thru bribery, torture and sleeping with the Chancellor's
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>wife. All characters in this story are meant to be coincidental as blatant
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>sarcasm is intended.)
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>
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>oops...i will submit the story later..I just got a call that university
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>security wants to talk to me..looks like Alcatraz for the Beez..
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>ill write to you later...bye guy
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>
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>Beez
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Incidentally, I haven't heard from Beez since this letter. Does anybody
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feel we should prepare for a rescue mission to free him from the clutches
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of Security?
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Beez also included two new additions to the M00se Illuminati Dictionary,
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begun by Indiana Joe in the last issue.
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phrase: M00se on the L00se: When a M00se visits a distant thr0ng for party
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reasons.
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Phrase: Meese on the Loose: a 80's happening that lead to the destruction of
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western Civilization as we know it. No M00ses had
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any part of this madness.
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Wolverine sent me the following song, which may have relevance in the decision
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of who we should back in this election.
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>The following lyrics are to a song written by two radio disk jockeys out in
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>Indianapolis, poking fun at Senator Dan Quayle....
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I Spent The War In Indiana
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- ----- --- --- -- -------
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I spent the war in Indiana
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Getting shot was not for me
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I never went to 'Nam
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I never saw Saigon
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I only watched it on TV
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I spent the war in Indiana
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I never saw a combat zone
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While my buddies hid in foxholes dodging napalm
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I was safe inside my Indiana home
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<chorus>
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He spent the war in Indiana
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while his neighbors went to fight
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He never did a hitch
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'cause his daddy's rich
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He was comfy and cozy at night
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I spent the war in Indiana
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To the Guard, I was on loan
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And the only thing I killed were Hoosier weekends
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I was safe inside my Indiana home
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<chorus>
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He spent the war in Indiana
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in a summer camp platoon
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He never had to fight
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and how he's on the right
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and he's singing a different tune
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>Well, *I* think it's funny.....
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>
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>And to quote The Breather from the movie "Student Bodies":
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>"What's in a name? EVERYTHING!"
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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*************** AND, OF COURSE, THE UBIQUITOUS M00SE LIST UPDATE **************
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Please add: ENLL6AC @ BUACCA Sabre
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Please remove: BURNS @ MAINE Sabre
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CHOBBIE @ SBCCVM Admiral Lord Nelson
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