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347 lines
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Plaintext
_ /\ _ _ /\ _
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/ \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE / \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \
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\_____/ () \_____/ MM MM 0 //0 0 //0 S E \_____/ () \_____/
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/ \ M M M M 0 // 0 0 // 0 SSSS EEEEE / \
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/ \__/ \ M M M O// 0 0// 0 S E / \__/ \
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/__________\ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE /__________\
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DDDD RRRR OOOO PPPPP PPPPP IIIII N N GGGGG SSSSS
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D D R R O O P P P P I NN N G S
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D D RRRR O O PPPPP PPPPP I N N N G GGG SSSS
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D D R R O O P P I N NN G G S
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DDDD R R OOO0 P P IIIII N N GGGG SSSSS
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A-M00SE-ING ANECDOTES AND ILLUMINATION BY AND FOR THE PAWNS OF THE
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M00SE ILLUMINATI
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Issue #5 | Disclaimer: The Editor will place almost anything | July 22, 1988
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---------- in this newsletter out of a frantic desire to fill ---------------
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the issue, so don't blame him for the quality or content of the submissions.
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Excepting those he may have written himself, the enclosed items do not in any
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way represent the Editor's opinions. In fact, let's be real safe, and say that
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as far as this newsletter is concerned, he has no opinions at all. Okay? Good.
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===============================================================================
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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************************** EDITORIALS AND LETTERS ***************************
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Hi all! Here is Issue #5. You'll notice that it is being sent on a
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Friday, as the first couple issues were. With any luck, I'll be able to
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send them every Friday.
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Thanks to the efforts of Kamikaze, we are now using the New Improved
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Distribution Method. It should be nice and easy to use, but if there are
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any problems let us know ASAP! We don't want to lose anybody.
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And now, on with the issue.....
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NOT GETTING ENOUGH MAIL?
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========================
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This is a plea to all m00ses on behalf of myself and two fellow
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m00ses (Nathan Irwin and Dragon) to subscribe to sf_story csnotice,
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the same way you subscribed to m00se csnotice. Please, the
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offer is free, the m00ses needy, and all you have to do is
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call now...offer not available on all computer systems.
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Sabre
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NOT GETTING *ANY* MAIL?
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=======================
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As a postscript to my last letter, here are a few other csnotices I
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feel m00ses will like....
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m00se--already told you about that one.
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sf_story--see last letter.
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st_story--A startrek story I'm writing. Not very m00selike,
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but bl00p it all, I'm going to toot my own horn!
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Jqp_story--A story fellow m00se Rainmaker is writing.
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startrek--for all you trek-types, this one's all about anything and
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everything having to do with trek.
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sex--a fun csnotice if ever I've read one.
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latenite--Late Night with David Lettermen. Need I say more? I
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for one think we should make Dave a m00se anyway, you know?
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humor--self-explainatory
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And others...god there are others. So, get off your m00sing
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A**es and subscribe. That command sequence again....
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tell (or whatever) csnews@maine csbb subscribe <topic-name> csnotice
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In a future letter, I'll tell you how to request back volumes.
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Ok? OK!
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Sabre
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FOR THOSE WHO REMEMBER SATURDAY MORNINGS...
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===========================================
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M00SE.
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a verb.
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sounds like the subject of a schoolhouse rock to me...
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heheh
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mommydammit
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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******************************* EVENTS AND NEWS *******************************
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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INTERESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE'S VACATIONS?
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=======================================
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On July 8th, 1988, the Pickle chapter of the M00se Illuminati packed up and
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headed for Baltimore, MD for a thr0ng-a-thon and concert. This is his story.
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JULY 8, 1988 (Approximately 3:30 P.M.): Car packed. Food and tapes on
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passenger seat. Full tank (30-35 gallons) of premium gasoline. Mad River
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Explorer on roof racks. An estimated 4700 lbs. of car, driver, supplies, and
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canoe hit the road. Itinerary: bank, Triple-A, Highway 84w.
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(App. 4:00 P.M.): Bank accounts now empty. $105 in pocket. On way to AAA,
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1-liter bottle of Coca-Cola Classic assaults car and driver. Theory:
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poltergeist in bottle. Go to AAA, get card. Coke is corrosive; as it would
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not do to leave it on the car, head for nearest car wash.
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(App. 4:30 P.M.): While entering gas station to pay for car wash, realize that
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there is Mad River Explorer on roof racks. Curse, head for nearest non-
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automatic car wash in South Windsor.
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(App. 5:30 P.M.): Car Washed, Dairy Queen cherry Misty Freeze in stomach, on
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84w. Just before passing Farmington exit, realize that there are no clothes
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suitable for concert in duffel bag. Snarl a lot, take Farmington exit home.
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(App. 6:00 P.M.): Finally hit road with pants, shirt, mismatched but dark
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socks, shoes, borrowed tie. Determined to call Stasa at approximately 10:00
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P.M. to tell her I'll be 2 hours late.
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(App. 11:00 P.M.): Realizing have forgotten to call Stasa. About to seek
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phone when sign leaps out of bushes and states "Baltimore 58 miles." Realize
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in amazement that the trip is two hours shorter than expected.
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(12:02 P.M.): Arrive at Stasa's home and habitation, 2 minutes late. Present
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flowers and Asti and apologize. Ponder the realization that the Supertanker
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quaffed down at least two quarts of oil on the trip.
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(The time periods between events will now increase.)
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(Saturday, July 9, 1988): Wake up. Accompany Stasa to pool. Meet her fellow
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lifeguards. Add weight to theory that one of the requirements of being a
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lifeguard is a stunning appearance in bathing suit. Avoid looking too
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stunned, read book. Several hours later, impressive electrical storm puts on
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spectacular audiovisual display. Back to Stasa's house, change, meet Q. and
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friend with fast car, head out to meet Grup thr0ng. See _Who_Framed_Roger_
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Rabbit_. Meet straggling Grup chapters, head for dinner. In attendance:
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Stasa, Q., Q.'s friend (Steve?), Sybil, Fast Eddie, Markus, Mommy Dammit, Mary
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Beth, Paul?, Mike, Damion (sp?), Damion's support group, myself. In no
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particular order. Sorry if I missed someone. Fries, beverages, joke,
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homeward. Mary Beth actually was ill and missed dinner, but at least we
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got to see her. Home, sleep.
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(Sunday, July 10, 1988): Pool again, many of those listed above in attendance
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for pool party. Stasa proves that she is paid too little. Many scorched
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m00ses. Sunglasses wars. Home and sleep.
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(Monday, July 11, 1988): Wake up, discover everybody was right and shoulders
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were, in fact, burned. Take painful shower. Outdoor temp once again 100+.
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Stasa leads the way to the Gunpowder river. Very pretty, much cooler, and
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infested with some kind of biting fly. Back home, collect Mary Beth, go to
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Harbor Place, or Inner Harbor, or whatever its real name is. Comic shop fails
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me second time in a row, does not have a single thing I'm looking for.
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(Doesn't carry Warlock 5?! "Not much call for it 'round here", they say.)
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Buy delicious fudge. Take Mary Beth home, go back to Stasa's, sleep.
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(Tuesday, July 12, 1988): Observe spectacular storm at 2:00 am. Go with
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Stasa to Loyola, receive as gift from Mike an account of my own. Back
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to Stasa's for a while, then back to Loyola, get wiped out by Mike in
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Conquest. Back to Stasa's again, leave with Mr. Appel to concert. German
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and Austrian dancing and music. Inside for the concert. Piano concerto,
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intermission, Ninth Symphony. First movement lacking, but second incredible.
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Third and fourth very good. Howard Johnson's for dinner and snack.
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Discovery: HoJo's is not a rathole everywhere. This one is more like
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Denny's. Back once more, and sleep.
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(Wednesday, July 13, 1988): Awake, farewell to all. Drive to Harbor Place,
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shop and eat a little more. Hit the road home.
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NOTE: New Jersey bashing ahead.
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All was going well when a sign announced "This way to 95 north/NJ Turnpike".
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Figuring, since I was already on it, that there was construction ahead
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on the turnpike, I took the exit. And ended up on Route 1 North, with
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a traffic light every half mile or so, for an hour. In heavy traffic.
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Can't use air conditioner in stop-and-go. Suddenly realize what those
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sneaky bastards had done! (Later confirmed by parents, this detour has
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been there for years.) On either side of the road are thriving roadside
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businesses, all of which would probably go out of business if people could
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take 95 around them! If thoughts could drop bombs, New Jersey would be
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a smoking wasteland right now, rather than just a wasteland. As if that
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weren't enough, they charge $3 to leave NJ via the big suspension bridge.
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I forget what it's called. They don't charge you to enter NJ!
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Rest of trip without incident. Oh, except for one item of note... on
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the NY-CT line is Danbury, CT. In it is the Danbury Federal Correctional
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Institution. On the way past it going into CT is a sign:
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FEDERAL CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION
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DO NOT PICK UP HITCHHIKERS
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This sign does not exist on the other side of the road, as you travel
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toward NY. Does this mean it's been stolen by a convict/hitchhiker, or
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that CT doesn't care if escapees head for NY?
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Well, that's my report. Not the best piece of writing I've done, but
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hey! It's the summer!
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Pickle.
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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***************************** FICTION AND POETRY ******************************
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Once again, there is no fiction and poetry this week. Send me some and
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I'll publish it. Please.
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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*************************** MISCELLANEOUS NONSENSE ****************************
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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SOMETHING FIENDISHLY M00SY TO DO...
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===================================
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Ahoy there! How's life going? What, you have a lot of time on your hands?
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Well here's something that will both occupy your time and make the world a
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stranger place to live in...
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You see, I have this roommate who badly needs to have something odd happen
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to him, only he doesn't know it. And what better place to go to get something
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odd done than here? So what I'm asking is that, if you've got the mind,
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sit down and write a postcard. Don't put your name on it, don't put a return
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address, and for god's sake *SEND NO CASH*. Leave the message part blank,
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put something weird in it (and I know you can...), or maybe some argument
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for/against the existance of something, or a math puzzle or just random
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words, it doesn't really matter...so long as he's baffled, bewildered, and
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bemused...(no threats would be best, I'm not out to give him sleepless
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nights...)
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And, if you really care, let me know and I'll give you the bleedin' fifty
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cents or so it costs. And if you know somebody in a remote area who might
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want to drop this fellow a line (really, he's a big cheese weenie), that
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would be great (I'm trying for the largest geographical spread here).
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So anyway if you're still with me, here's the address:
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Eduardo Looney (no, not his name but it's pretty close)
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3465 Edinburgh #7
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Riverside, CA 92507
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by the way I'm sending this both to the literary underground and weird-l.
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Sorry if you're seeing it twice. And if you think it's a gross waste
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of net resources to do this, well I'm sending this on a weekend, see? And
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if you think it's the greatest idea since...well I'm sure you can think
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of something, the tell a friend! or a fiend!
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Thank you for your consideration...
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Kevin "you're not getting my last name" Lund
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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*************** AND, OF COURSE, THE UBIQUITOUS M00SE LIST UPDATE **************
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Alaska thr0ng JSJPC1 @ ALASKA Jonathan
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JSMDG @ ALASKA Martin
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Bryn Mawr chapter M_PETTIT @ BRYNMAWR Midland Maniac
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Boston University chapter CLXLAUC @ BUACCA Rorshach
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Cornell chapter CBRY @ CORNELLA Ladykate
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Lansing, NY chapter B45J @ CRNLVAX5 Half-Elf
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Connecticut State U thr0ng CEBELENS_CHR @ CTSTATEU The Red Mage
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CLAFFEY_JOR @ CTSTATEU Indiana Joe
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PHINNEY_AVK @ CTSTATEU Phredde
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WITHALL @ CTSTATEU Hobgoblin
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Hartford thr0ng DICKSON @ HARTFORD Pickle/MOON ROACH!
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SZIMMERM @ HARTFORD Greymalkin
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Haverford thr0ng K_KRAVITZ @ HVRFORD Q.
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S_BLINN @ HVRFORD Sean Blinn
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Loyola thr0ng MARY_BETH @ LOYVAX Mary Beth
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PAMELA @ LOYVAX Mommydammit
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SETH @ LOYVAX Seth
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STASA @ LOYVAX Phoenix
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Maine thr0ng BURNS @ MAINE Sabre
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IO80034 @ MAINE The Dragon
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IO80222 @ MAINE RainMaker
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RFK350B @ MAINE Guardian Angel
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Michigan Tech chapter WJB @ MTUS5 Sindex
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North Dakota State U. chapter UD140680 @ NDSUVM1 Nathan Irwin
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Penn State chapter WCF @ PSUECL Bill Fenner
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Stony Brook thr0ng CHOBBIE @ SBCCVM Admiral Lord Nelson
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RRKHAN @ SBCCVM Romel
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WALL @ SBCCVM Wall
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Sweden chapter ICE @ SEQZ51 Ice
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Siberacuse thr0ng EBLIVING @ SUNRISE Eric Livingstone (sp?)
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JBANKERT @ SUNRISE CHAOS Engineer
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RABEELER @ SUNRISE Beez
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RETANTS @ SUNRISE Scamp
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LIBLJR @ SUVM Niniane
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Towson State U. chapter S76NING @ TOWSONVX Paul
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Trinity thr0ng FANTASYG @ TRINCC Trinity Fantasy Guild
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OPER3 @ TRINCC Razz
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U California Riverside chapter WATKINS @ UCRVMS Kevin
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U of New Hampshire chapter J_BUTMAN @ UNHH Oliver
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Governor's School chapter GSRHAMBY @ UTKVX3 Cocker
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Villanova thr0ng 054649739 @ VUVAXCOM Satoru Ushiyama
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188622462 @ VUVAXCOM Kamikaze
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193588131 @ VUVAXCOM Wolverine
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580074787 @ VUVAXCOM Colin O'Connell
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CONS040 @ VUVAXCOM The Doctor
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Wesleyan thr0ng AGOLDBERG @ WESLEYAN Damsel
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EAUBRY @ WESLEYAN ED
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JBLUESTEIN @ WESLEYAN WabeWalker
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JVINCENT @ WESLEYAN Lord Rassilon
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JDOTY @ WESLEYAN The Keeper
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RSIMON @ WESLEYAN Roanic
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Washington State U. thr0ng 24945863 @ WSUVM1 Bard
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23480853 @ WSUVM1 Ishtar
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Xavier chapter BRUGGMNJ @ XAVIER the WILD ONE!!
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