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/ \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE / \_/\_/ \_/\_/ \
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\_____/ () \_____/ MM MM 0 //0 0 //0 S E \_____/ () \_____/
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/ \ M M M M 0 // 0 0 // 0 SSSS EEEEE / \
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/ \__/ \ M M M O// 0 0// 0 S E / \__/ \
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/__________\ M M 0000 0000 SSSSS EEEEEEE /__________\
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DDDD RRRR OOOO PPPPP PPPPP IIIII N N GGGGG SSSSS
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D D R R O O P P P P I NN N G S
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D D RRRR O O PPPPP PPPPP I N N N G GGG SSSS
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D D R R O O P P I N NN G G S
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DDDD R R OOO0 P P IIIII N N GGGG SSSSS
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A-M00SE-ING ANECDOTES AND ILLUMINATION BY AND FOR THE PAWNS OF THE
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M00SE ILLUMINATI
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Issue #3 | Disclaimer: The Editor will place almost anything | July 6, 1988
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---------- in this newsletter out of a frantic desire to fill ---------------
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the issue, so don't blame him for the quality or content of the submissions.
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Excepting those he may have written himself, the enclosed items do not in any
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way represent the Editor's opinions. In fact, let's be real safe, and say that
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as far as this newsletter is concerned, he has no opinions at all. Okay? Good.
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===============================================================================
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----------------------
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EDITORIALS AND LETTERS
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----------------------
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Yet another editorial by Pickle.
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Well, fellow m00ses, it seems to have been decided. We are going
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to use CSNEWS for banter and discussion, but M00se Droppings will be
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distributed by m00ses, starting with me and branching out in a path that
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Kamikaze is working on. He is arranging things (so I hear) so that nobody
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will have to send more than 5-10 pieces of mail.
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In the meantime, those of you who haven't subscribed to CSBB M00se
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Discussion on CSNEWS do so! I sent the command a few days ago, if you forgot
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it let me know and I'll tell you again.
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Some of you may have noticed that this newsletter is late. As I
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said, this is because GuS, my computer, is sick. Now that I'm back in a
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VAX lab, I'm all set, except GuS is still sick. Hopefully it'll be all
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better soon.
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And now, since I haven't much to say, on with the newsletter.
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---------------
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EVENTS AND NEWS
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---------------
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Wolverine and Kamikaze hosted a few other chapters in the world's
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first Fourth of July Thr0ng-a-Thon. Here is their report.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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On July 1, Starfire, Hobgoblin, and Scamp arrived in the Philadelphia area
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to meet with Wolverine and Kamikaze for the first-ever "Fourth of July
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Thr0ng-A-Th0n". This is their story.
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Kamikaze> Friday....why does everything always happen on Friday? First, I
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get to go to work from 8am til noon (meaning I have to get up at 6am),
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then ride to my physical therapy (for my bum shoulder) (that's an 11
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mile ride), then get back home and *try* to get cleaned up before the
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expected 4pm-5pm invasion. Well, I got showered, dressed, then
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realized my shirt needed ironing *sigh*, then my mother tells me to
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do some vacuuming, so I do that while the shirt cools, and just as I
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put the vacuum away, I see a familiar car go driving right past my
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house and on up the hill. So I rush to put my shirt on and stand at
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the door, waiting to see how long it would take for them to realize
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they missed something. Mere moments later, they arrived...I called
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Wolvie, told him they were there (all right, so he had to beat it out
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of me...I do like to be difficult with him sometimes ;-)
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Wolverine> After I got done work, my room-mate and I headed to Kamikaze's
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house where I was raped by his dog (as usual). You have to under-
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stand that Kami's dog loves sticking her nose into my private areas,
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and while I love animals, I don't LOVE animals, if you get my
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meaning. [don't you believe it...he really likes it, otherwise he
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wouldn't keep coming back for more, right?....Kami] We then had
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dinner curtesy of Kami's mom, and departed to see Roger Rabbit! A
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magnificent movie! Some kids were throwing popcorn up in the air,
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so I joined 'em. *devious grin* I got to rumage through Stacey's
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purse until the movie started. She had some of the wierdest things
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in there, including one VERY old jellybean.
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Kamikaze> Well, the movie was great, but *I* really enjoyed the first feature
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that they showed prior to WFRR. Let's all reach deep down and give
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from the heart to the Will Roger's Institute....sorry folks, I like
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charity events and whatnot, but not when I've already been milked
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$5.00 to see a movie...I want to see the movie, not a bunch of out-of-
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work stars doing a charity bit....
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Wolverine> We then headed back to my apartment, where we watched movies until
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late in the night. Kamikaze and Scamp then left for his house,
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where Scamp was going to be staying in a guest room. (Starfire and
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Hobgbolin had to settle for my floor.) Those of us staying at my
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apartment stayed up until 3 am or so. Oh, and the superintendant
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came down and complained that Starfire was laughing too loudly. At
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3 a.m. I went to bed, leaving Star and Hob to stay up until 4 a.m.
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talking.
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Kamikaze> Humph...and they complained about being tired....Scamp went right to
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bed (and I assume right to sleep, I didn't look)...I got lucky enough
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to be hit with insomnia that night, so I didn't bother to sleep at
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all...and was actually more awake than anyone else the next day.
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Wolverine> Saturday morning we all woke up, watched "The Real Ghostbusters" on
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TV and ate home-made eggrolls until it was time to depart to the
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Philadelphia Zoo. I actually made money from the deal. (It was a
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3.50 entry charge, handed the cashier a 10, and got 11.50 back in
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change 8*) Then i started howling at the wolves, who were already
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howling. Wandered the Zoo for several hours, and then got lost
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coming home thanks to some lousy detours.
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Kamikaze> Now wait a minute....we did not get lost, just took a brief,
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unscheduled local tour. I knew where I was the whole time, as
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evidence by the fact that we did not have to turn around at any time.
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Anyway, the Zoo was more or less well enjoyed, most down time being
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from tired and hot folks...the Large Cats house and white tiger
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seemed to be one of the overall favorites, along with the primate
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house.
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Wolverine> That night we played D&D, and I actually had a woman sleep in my
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bed! At last!
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Kamikaze> Now before you all think he got lucky or that one of the girls was
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blind drunk (just kidding Wolvie...put those claws away)...Hob was
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one of the more exhausted members of the weekend, and we all told
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to do herself a favor and stop falling asleep in the chair and go
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crash in the bedroom, and Wolvie offered his bed to her. Sorry big
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guy, but nice try anyway ;-)
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Wolverine> Okay! So her and I are only friends and I slept in the other room!
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Details, Details! Anyway, we all crashed rather late that night,
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and subsequently slept late Sunday morning. (Actually, Hob had
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been up earlier than any of us.) We then sat around, watched
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_The_Untouchables_, until it was time for The Gals From Up North
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to depart. (And then my room-mate and I spent several days cleaning
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up.)
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Kamikaze> Hey, don't look at me like that...I helped with some of the cleanup
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to...but after all, I spent the whole weekend chauffering everyone
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around, because there wasn't any comfortable way to fit the six of
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us into Scamp's car...my mother was a bit worried when she found out
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that over 175 miles got put on her car over the weekend, and we never
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left town...
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Wolverine> So all in all, it was an enjoyable experience, and we are looking
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forward to the next Thr0ng-A-Th0n, wherever and whenever it may be.
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Bl00p forever!
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Wolverine & Kamikaze
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------------------
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FICTION AND POETRY
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------------------
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>>Fiction from Wolverine<<
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"I'm a M00se," he thought. "I know it...they don't. That's not the
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problem. I like it that way. The problem is keeping them from knowing it."
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He thought this while walking the wrong way down a busy sidewalk, constantly
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jostling people due to the fact that he was going in the opposite direction
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of everyone else. They were annoyed; he didn't mind. He liked it like that.
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"Fucking plebs," he thought. "Get a life."
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Pushing his cart through the Acme, he looked around at the people
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surrounding him. "More plebs," he thought disgustedly as he tossed a package
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of Devil Dogs into his cart. Walking down the next aisle, he grabbed a
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jar of peanut butter and tossed it into the cart. The jar hit the package
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of Devil Dogs and crushed it. "I gotta get away from these plebs," he
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thought. They're makin' me sick. Look at 'em! Brainless cattle trodding
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through the dulldrum of their common, everyday lives. Suckers."
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Waiting in the check-out line, he saw a little kid in the next line
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throwing a temper tantrum as his mother tried get hom out of a cart. Kicking
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and screaming, he flailed out and knocked over a display of Tupperware as she
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lifted him out of the cart. "That's it kid," he thought. "Fight 'em. It's
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the only way." He was brought out of the reverie of his thoughts by the
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teenage girl at his cash register.
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"Hey mista'! Yer Devil Dawgs're crushed! Ya' want another box?" she
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asked, cracking the huge wad of gum in her mouth.
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"No," he replied. "I like it that way."
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Walking back to his apartment, he saw a car accident on 49th Avenue.
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A car making a left turn from Sussex Avenue onto 49th slammed into a
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'79 Caddy. A little guy in polyester suit got out of the Caddy and started
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shouting at the guy who hit him. The other guy was a little guy in a
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polyester suit too. "Both of them'll probably call 'Lawyers-R-Us tonight,"
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he thought. "What a joke."
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Getting home, he dumped his Acme bag on the kitchen table and plopped
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down in his easy chair. Grabbing the remote control, he started flipping
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through TV channels until he came across The Oprah Winfrey Show. Orca's
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special guest today was Morton Downey Jr. They were supposed to have
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a slug-fest, with the winner getting the chance to punch Johnny Carson in
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the face. "This oughta' be interesting," he thought. He had already placed
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a fifty dollar bet on Morton earlier that day with his bookie. "Let's just
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hope this one last longer than the Tyson-Spinx fiasco," he had told his
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bookie. "I had to go to the john and wound up missing the entire fight."
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After the opening credits rolled, Oprah stepped into the ring area that had
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been specially set up for the event. In another minute, Morton stepped into
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the ring, brandishing a 2-by-4 with a mouth painted on one end. He swung
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it at Oprah`s head, but it bounced harmlessly off of Oprah's hair, which
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had been styled earlier by Don King himself. "This should be really
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interesting," he thought, reaching for the crushed box of Devil Dogs.
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co. Frank Orzechowicz June 30, 1988
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(P.S. Blame it on last night's full moon.)
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----------------------
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MISCELLANEOUS NONSENSE
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----------------------
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(Here is a shamelessly pirated Monty Python excerpt sent by Beez and altered
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by your friendly editor.)
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Subject: Rocky vs. Rambo on Friday the 13th at Elm Street IV:This
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time its personal
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Good evening. Here is the news for m00ses. No m00ses were involved
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in an accident on the M1 today when a lorry carrying high octane
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fuel was in collision with a bollard...that is a bollard and not a
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m00se. A spokesman for m00ses said he was glad that no m00ses
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were involved. The Minister of Technology today met the three
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Russian leaders to discuss a $4 million airliner deal. None of
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them went in the woods or practiced passive resistance against
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hunters with large guns by staring at them with big, soulful eyes.
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And now for part three of `A tale of Two Cities', adapted for m00ses
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by Joey Boy.
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===============================================================================
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And last but not least, an update on the list of m00ses on Bitnet. Please
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inform me if anything is incorrect!
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Bryn Mawr chapter M_PETTIT @ BRYNMAWR Midland Maniac
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Boston University chapter CLXLAUC @ BUACCA Rorshach
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Cornell chapter CBRY @ CORNELLA Ladykate
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Lansing, NY chapter B45J @ CRNLVAX5 Half-Elf
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Connecticut State U thr0ng CEBELENS_CHR @ CTSTATEU The Red Mage
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CLAFFEY_JOR @ CTSTATEU Indiana Joe
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WITHALL @ CTSTATEU Hobgoblin
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Hartford thr0ng DICKSON @ HARTFORD Pickle/MOON ROACH!
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SZIMMERM @ HARTFORD Greymalkin
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Haverford thr0ng K_KRAVITZ @ HVRFORD Q.
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S_BLINN @ HVRFORD Sean Blinn
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Loyola thr0ng STASA @ LOYVAX Phoenix
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PAMELA @ LOYVAX Mommydammit
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SETH @ LOYVAX Seth
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Maine thr0ng BURNS @ MAINE Sabre
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IO80222 @ MAINE RainMaker
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RFK350B @ MAINE Guardian Angel
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Michigan Tech chapter WJB @ MTUS5 Sindex
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Penn State chapter WCF @ PSUECL Bill Fenner
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Stony Brook thr0ng CHOBBIE @ SBCCVM Admiral Lord Nelson
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RRKHAN @ SBCCVM Romel
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WALL @ SBCCVM Wall
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Sweden chapter ICE @ SEQZ51 Ice
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Siberacuse thr0ng EBLIVING @ SUNRISE Eric Livingstone (sp?)
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JBANKERT @ SUNRISE CHAOS Engineer
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RABEELER @ SUNRISE Beez
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RETANTS @ SUNRISE Scamp
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LIBLJR @ SUVM Niniane
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Towson State U. chapter S76NING @ TOWSONVX Paul
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Trinity thr0ng FANTASYG @ TRINCC Trinity Fantasy Guild
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OPER3 @ TRINCC Razz
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Governor's School chapter GSRHAMBY @ UTKVX3 Cocker
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Villanova thr0ng 188622462 @ VUVAXCOM Kamikaze
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193588131 @ VUVAXCOM Wolverine
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Wesleyan thr0ng JBLUESTEIN @ WESLEYAN WabeWalker
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JVINCENT @ WESLEYAN Lord Rassilon
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RSIMON @ WESLEYAN Roanic
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Washington State U. thr0ng 24945863 @ WSUVM1 Bard
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23480853 @ WSUVM1 Ishtar
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Xavier chapter BRUGGMNJ @ XAVIER John
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