721 lines
36 KiB
Plaintext
721 lines
36 KiB
Plaintext
//01Welcome to Jonas, Biznatch. (Edicius)
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$&a. .a&$$$&a. .a&$$$&a. .a&$$$&a. .a&$$$&a.
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$^$$$$ $$$$^$$$$
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
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aaa. $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ .a&$$$$$$ $$$$$&aa.
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$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$^$$$$ aaaa $$$$
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$$$$.$$$$ $$$$.$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$.$$$$ $$$$ $$$$
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`$$$$$$$' `$$$$$$$' `$$$ $$$' `$$$$$$$' `$$$$$$$'
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jonas?! $&' lf
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$'
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Here it is, Jonas 11. WOO - FUCKING - HOO. Its out, its out, its
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out!@^*!$%^
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Nothing much is news-worthy with Jonas. Oh yeah, Jonas is taking an
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indefinate leave of absence for alittle while.
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You heard it, bitch. On your back, no excuses.
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Um. Yeah. Basically, what I'm saying, is that Jonas won't be out
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for awhile. SO DON'T BUG ME FOR IT (cough time killer cough. :>)
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Um. Here's the reason.
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I'm becoming a real 'zine. Yup. I'm becoming a paper 'zine,
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jeah!@#
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Hopefully. I need the money, so I can get a Post Office Box (I
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don't want you sickos having my home address (181 Ridgemount Drive, Salt
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Lake City, UT). I also need a legitamate internet account, too. :>
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Anyway, as far as the paper Jonas goes, I'll be releasing a
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information file before the end of September regarding the future.
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As far as real news for this month:
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o. Belial <Blade/Cripple> did us two Articles, and an ascii.
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o. Also, Lucifer <Blade> did us a few radIk0w asciis.
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o. I had a few sites, but like, um, I forget them.
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o. EDICIUS IS YOUR LOVE GOD. OH YES. OH YES. OH YES.
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Read the 'zine, enlighten yourself, and drink Pepsi (c).
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edicius.
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jonas vmb @ 800/314/8885::585.
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//02Edicius' Editorial (Edicius)
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From masturbate.at.the.jonas.org<y>!edicius Mon Sep 4 13:04:49 1995
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Return-Path: <edicius@masturbate.at.the.jonas.org>
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Recieved: by masturbate.at.the.jonas.org (5.61 / 25)
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id AA01437; Mon, 4 Sep 95 13:02:12 -0500
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Date: Mon, 4 Sep 95 13:02:12 -0500
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From: edicius@masturbate.at.the.jonas.org <RIDE ME ALL NITE LONG EDI>
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Message-Id: <9509040808.AA01437@masturbate.at.the.jonas.org>
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Aparently-To: sandyb@aol.com
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Cc: mogel@hoe.org, willyc@whitehouse.gov, jgoleb@injersey.com
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Status: 0
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One day, April 1st, 1995, to be exact, I was bored. (Well, not just
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on this day, but follow me here.) I looked around at all the different
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'zines around. Back then, I was involved with the ansi art scene alittle
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more then I am now. I looked at Infinity, I looked at Bitchslap, I
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looked at Undergrown. I also looked at Hoe, cDc, and all the other poppa
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'zines out there.
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I said to myself, "Tom, you too can achieve fame, fortune, and asian
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girls in bikinis if you make your own electronic magizine."
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So, I sat down, wrote an article or two, drew up some asciis, and
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boom, "Bee-Gee" Issue One was almost done.
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[----]
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WAIT A FUCKING SECOND EDI. BEE GEE?
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Yes, "Bee-Gee". I _almost_ named my magizine Bee-Gee, after the
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infamous 70's group. I got bored, and didn't feel like working on it
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anymore. So I scraped the whole thing. Sorta.
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The next day, a typical Saturday night for me, I sat down, and
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around eight o'clock, I started work on Jonas. I used some of the stuff
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I had from the night before, drew new asciis, and finished the coding.
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I released an issue that night, about 5 hours after I originially
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started working on it. (Deeply Disturbed (I think it was DeepStah) put
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out some magizine that he said was done in 5 hours. HAH. JONAS COPY
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CAT.)
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The reviews of the 'zine were very mixed. So, I put out an issue
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the next day (Sunday), about 12 hours after I released issue one, and
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then, I released issues 3 and 4 the next weekend.
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[----]
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"Is your main objective to be a simple magizine, or are you just an
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inexperienced coder looking for fun?" -- Asphixia.
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It was a mixture of both. I was just an angstful person looking for
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a way to vent my frustrations at the art scene, or something. I love
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writing, so I felt like putting together my own magizine.
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I also know very little about coding. :>
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No matter what I did, I also had Jonas under my belt. Jonas is me.
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Without me, Jonas is no more. (Sounds like Eerie and Undergrown. :>)
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What I've done with Jonas, is exactly what I've wanted to do with it.
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I've never had any senior staff, no co editors, _nothing_. I have very
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rarely been influenced by other people, as far as Jonas is concerned.
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Jonas is me. Jonas is about 5 months, 11 issues, and countless
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hours of hard work. I've put alot into Jonas, and only want the best for
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it. Making it into a paper 'zine is what I want to do. Its how I can
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reach alot more people, then I can now.
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[----]
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Over the course of Jonas' history, it's main theme has changed
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_greatly_. I started out as a small Ansi mag, without ansi, only ascii.
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(Pretty neat concept, eh?) I had the interviews with the big people in
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the ansi scene. Rad Man, Wizard of Id, and others.
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As time progressed, I changed. Its range of coverage was very wide.
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Music, Computers, Politics, amoung many other topics. I still had the
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ansi in it, to a small extent. One of my favorite things I've done for
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Jonas is the Eerie interview in issue 10.
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Its theme has changed, but the heart and spirit of Jonas never
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swayed one bit. Jonas would always release, no matter how lame people
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thought it would be.
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[----]
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"Serious content in a magizine quoted as 'a joke' but its creator.
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The road to today's cult phenomenom leads to Jonas." -- Diehard
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True, very true. Jonas has a pretty strange following. I mean, its
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nothing like Deadheads, but I have had alot of people tell me how much
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they look forward to Jonas, which pleases me. Jonas was started out as a
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joke, I was very shocked when people told me they liked it.
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Jonas may, or may not, stop electronic releases, but it will live
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on. The spirit of Jonas will remain in the minds of many, forever.
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Maybe.
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[----]
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"Jonas, its more then a 'zine, its a lifestyle." -- Edicius.
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I've said those words before in the past, without really thinking
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never have they meant more then me, then they do now.
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--
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tom m. sullivan - edicius@masturbate.at.the.jonas.org<y>
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office: (800)314/8885::585 / home: see office / fax: see office
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"Jonas, Its more then a 'zine, its a lifestyle." -- Edicius.
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"pHEAR mE." -- Mogel
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"Nine, or ten, thousand times a day." -- Pip the Angry Conservative.
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--
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//03A Day in the Life of Edicius (Edicius)
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Here's a day in the life of me, Edicius/Tom Sullivan, for September
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2nd, 1995.
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I woke up around noon, after going to bed around 2:30am. Brushed
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myself off, got something to drink, and went to the bathroom. I think I
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read the paper, not really sure. I came into my room, played alittle
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Sega (Hardball '95, *GREAT* game), and watched TNBC. (Saved by the bell
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ROCKS.)
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I talked alittle bit on the phone, and started cleaning my room
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around 1 or so. Nothing too special there. Around 2:30 or so, I left,
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hopped on my bike, and rode to my friends house. Hung out at his house,
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watched alittle bit of "Interview with a Vampire", and then took a 3 mile
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ride on my bike to taco bell.
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After a hearty meal (2 double decker tacos, a steak soft taco, 10
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packets of hot sauce, and about 4 refills of Dr. Pepper), I go to the
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Wawa (7-11 type store), got a cherry Icee (c) and a pack of Starburst.
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Played around with the payphone (I called my answering machine to check
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my messages, and tried out a loop number I found, then, the phone was
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fucky with me, and tricked me into thinking I could get free calls (I
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dial a number for the hell of it, without a coin, and the fone rang, but
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after 4 rings, an operator came on asking for change, bitch.)) Being
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pissed off at the phone, I covered it with Cherry Icee (c). h0h0.
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I rode down the highway to a record store, saw a few cd's I wanted
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(newest Teenage Fanclub $4.99 (it was used, and didn't have the front
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cover on it), but I bought a Pavement sticker, and got 2 free music
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newspapers.
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Rode back to my friend's house, hung out, he showed me how to play
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the sport "hurling". (Its an major Irish sport, he just came back from
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Ireland, and the sport totally rocks. Its like a mixture of field hockey
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and rugby.) Played with some hot wheels (I NEEDED MATCHES TO MAKE A
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TOTALLY REALISTIC ACCIDENT SCENE, but _no_, my friend wouldn't let me use
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them.)
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I went to a local shopping center with my friend around 5 or so, got
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a big can of Arizona Ice Tea, a can of Dr. Pepper, and a Choco-taco, went
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to a playground nearby, and just sat, ate, and went down the slides
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backwords and did flips and cool stuff like that.
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I came home around 7 or so, did nothing besides watch tv. I
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masturbated around 8 or so (a mixture of Alt.sex.stories, and a really
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nice looking Meterologist on The Weather Channel (Yes, it was a chick.
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Sharon Reseultan.)) Finished cleaning my room and watched the news at
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Ten. There was a punk rock riot in New York City today, too.
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The only thing that I regret about the day, is "hacking" my friends
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answering machine.
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Around 11 or so, I was deafly bored. She has been in Hong Kong
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since last Saturday, and doesn't come back for a few more days. I called
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up, starting pressing keys, and after about 15-20 calls, I got the code.
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*PROBLEM*
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I got through, and hear, "You have 29 new messages."
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Uh-oh.
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*ANOTHER PROBLEM*
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20 of the messages are, "DOO DOO DEE DAA DOO". (Me hitting the
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telephone keypads.)
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AND I CAN'T DELETE THE 20 MESSAGES. I EITHER RESET THE WHOLE
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FUCKING TAPE, OR LET THEM BE.
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Now I don't know what to do. Let them stay, and just totally lie to
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her come Tuesday. She may already know that I like to fool around with
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phones, I might have mentioned it to her before. I do remember that i
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tried doing that to her phone before in the past. Also, another time,
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she was pissed off at her sister, and her sister just got a new phone and
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answering machine, and I _might_ (I stress "might", I really can't
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remember) have said to her something like, "get me her new phone number,
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and I can crack her answering machine."
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I used *67 before each call, even though I know she doesn't have
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caller ID. I just hope she can't find out it was me.
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LAMER I AM, FOR I AM THE LAMER.
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I don't know, I don't know, I just don't fucking know what to do.
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ARG. This is pissing me off.
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AND TO TOP IT OFF, I HAVE A FUCKING MISQUITO BITE ON THE BACK OF MY
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LEG.
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Ah. Fuck it all, I'll get through it.
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Thats my angstful life that I lead.
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//04Hiroshima: 50 Years After (Terminal V.)
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It's August, and as everyone should know, the month of the
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bombing of Hiroshima. It was the month that Eisenhower made the
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fateful descision to bomb not one, but two major civilian
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centers in Japan. The names Hiroshima and Nagasaki are often
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used to describe descenes of mass death and destruction. The
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bombings of these two cities were the startling conclusion to
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the war in the Pacific with Japan. Now, almost 50 years after
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the bombing of Japan, many people look back on the incident and
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wonder if maybe we didn't go to far in bombing the homes of
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innocent civilians and that maybe the price of our win was much
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higher than we ever should have allowed it to go. It seems now
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that the popular sentiment is to bash the US's decision to bomb
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Japan.
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Often I bash the US for various decisions and policies, however
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it must be known that I totally agree with Eisenhowers descision
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to bomb Japan. However horrible it be that over 300,000
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innocents died in the two blasts, I think that it would have
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been more horrible had many millions died. Millions of soldiers
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continuing to fight the war, the blood of many more people would
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have been shed had we not forced Japan to stop and surrender. It
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is often said that the needs of the many outweight the needs of
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the few, and many people agree that this statement is both
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callous and coldly logical, however it is most appropriate in
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this case. It was worth the lives of 300,000 men, women and
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children in order to save the lives of millions of soldiers.
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It is often at this juncture that people get up on their
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soapboxes quivering with moral outrage, that innocents never
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asked to be involved in a war and that soldiers are paid to die
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for their countries, shouting that the deaths of innocent
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children are inexcusable. True as these words may be, it should
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be said that the deaths of soldiers are no less tragic or
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terrible than the deaths of pregnant women and small children.
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These men who were brothers, fathers, husbands, and uncles went
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off and died by the millions in foreign lands. It was the deaths
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of innocents which helped to bring about needless death on a
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larger scale. Just because they are soldiers doesn't mean their
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lives are any less valuable than a woman or childs.
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Note: All facts and figures used in the artical were obtained
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from the August 7th, 1995 issue of Time magazine.
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//05Vampire Part I (Terminal Velocity)
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Morius looked out upon the fogged over San Franciso bay. Longing
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filled his eyes and the ever present cloud of depression hung low about
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him, thicker than the mist which enshrouded the bay. He had been a vampire,
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or as they call themselves, the Kindred for far too long he felt. He felt
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weary of the constant hunger which gnawed away at his soul and slowly
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turned him in to something much more evil than any human could ever imagine,
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slowly turning him in to the evil, amoral creature know to every one of the
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Kindred and the Beast. It was because of his weariness that he felt it was
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time for him to seek the respite from the horrors of his curse of living
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death, a respite known as Golconda. Unfortunatly for Morius, he lacked the
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will and the motivation required to reach that blessed state. He had however,
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heard that if one sought out Caine, father of all vampires, and asked him,
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tha Caine would reveal the secret to Golconda and allow the seeker to be
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spared the journey of self discover which often marks the first part of the
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ordeal required to reach Golconda. Morius shook himself out of his thoughtful
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revere and calmly awaited the arrival of his first candidate for being one of
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his seekers.
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Finally as the moon began it's descent which would herald the comming
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of dawn, Morius' patience was rewarded by the sound of the soft footsteps of
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his first candidate. Stepping into view, intent upon the young man he had been
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tracking for several blocks, the hunter stopped to sniff the air so that he
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might orient once again on the location of his victem. Finally after a few
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moments of sniffing the air he caught the scent of his victem and started to
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go off when the sudden appearence of a tall dark man stopped him. Before
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speaking Morius looked over this man. A tall man, with a lean muscular build,
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walked with the gait of a cat stalking it's prey and could almost be taken
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for human until you saw his face. Like some many who are members of the
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vampire clan Nosferatu, the man was hideously ugly and even expecting it
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Morius was still aghast at this man's looks.
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" Finally you have arrived," Morius said. " I was hoping you would
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have arrived sooner than this, but beggers or course, may not be choosers."
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" Who are you to be awaiting my arrival?", the man asked.
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" I sir am Morius and you, if I am not mistaken, are non other than
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the Nosferatu named Jasper," Morius replied.
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" And to what do I owe the honour of your interest?" the man replied.
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" I am seeking a strong man, capable in both mind and body to seek out
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something very dear to me. I would ask that you would search for our fabled
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father known as Caine. Do not worry, I plan on rewarding you for work by
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offering you all my worldly goods, which if the reputation of the knowledge of
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the Nosferatu is overstated, you must assuredly know the amount, " Morius said
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" Indeed your wealth is known to me, and a considerable amoun it is.
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However the task you request of me boarders on impossible as know one, human,
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Kindred or otherwise, save Caine, knows his location. I fear that you would be
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wasting my time and your money on this fools errand as surely you know that my
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sense of honour would not allow me to stop looking for him until I have
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completed the terms of our contract, and I hate to breake it to you, but I
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have better ways to spend the rest of eternity," Jasper replied.
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Looking down at the ground, seemingly contemplating the cracks in the
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pavement Morius let loose a deep sigh and looked to the sky as if asking some
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divine power to give him the strength to continue the conversation. After a
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few moments spent collecting his thoughts and his patience, he turned around
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and gazed at Jasper. Finally he spoke.
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" I am privy to information that there is a journal which contains
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the last know whereabouts of Caine and which will allow for you to check
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the most recent location in it, following a trail of sorts," Morius answered.
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After a moment he said, " With this information the quest would become
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feasble and you and the others would be able to find him for me. In exchange
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I will give you a share of my worldly goods."
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" Others," Jasper replied in a questioning tone. " What others would
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these be? I thought you meant me and me alone."
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" I highly doubt you would be able to accomplish such a formidable
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task on your own. What I am asking you to do would require a large array of
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varying talents. There are two others. A man from the Gangrel beast clan
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know as Argos, and the other is a rather petite woman who is from the
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Tremere wizard clan and she is called Simone. It is with those two you shall
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be traveling and with those two you shall be sharing the money, " Morius
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explained.
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" I see, " Jasper said, " but when do we get this information?"
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" You shall receive the information for your objective when I have
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brought all of you together in one place," replied Morius in quiet tones.
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" And when is that? "
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" Tomorrow night, " replied Morius and with that he walked off in
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to the shadows of the alley disappearing from view.
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Jasper looked at the sky and cursed when he saw it was slowly getting
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lighter with the impending dawn. Angry that he would be going to bed hungry,
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he ran down the street towards his haven so that he might be protected by the
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suns killing light and live to see the night once more.
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To be continued....
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//06How to Piss Off Someone (Belial)
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The first thing that you can do to totally piss someone off is to
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take a can of spray paint, (red is a nice color), and spray racial
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slurs all over their house... Now this is a great way to insult and to
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piss a lot of people off at the same time... and your true enjoyment
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comes when the home owners get jumped by the linch mob that saw all your
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slurs spraypainted in red all over the house...
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The next way to piss someone off real bad is to slaughter their
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animals in strange, abnormal ways... But, in order to do this you have
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to make sure that the people you plan on angering have animals to
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slaughter... Now, what you can do is, if the animal is small, feed it to
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the blender and the put it in a plastic bag and set it on the persons
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porch with a simple note saying, "Fluffy", or whatever the animals name is.
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If the animal is big (horse) then get an good, sharp axe and do what the
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blender would do to the smaller animal... then get a garbage bag and stuff
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the animal inside of it, and once again leave a small note saying, "Big
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Fluffy", or whatever the large animals name was... This will have the effect
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of really pissing the person off so make sure you are out of the area when
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the people find the bag or bags if they have more than 1 animal...
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3. Kinda old fashioned, but you can set a burning cross on the persons
|
||
front yard... Then, for effect, dress up in a white sheet, make sure the
|
||
sheet is white because a pink and flowery sheet won't work right at all,
|
||
then prop a pillow case on your head, dance around singing songs full of
|
||
racial insults... Now, if the person, or people you are trying to piss off
|
||
are black then wear a bullet-proof vest under the sheet, because you are
|
||
going to get shot... If the people/person you plan on pissing off are from
|
||
"the country" then wear two bullet-proof vests, because you are going to
|
||
get shot with a bigger gun, probably a shot gun... Now this really pisses
|
||
a lot of people so count on getting shot a bunch of times.. In fact, what
|
||
you can do is have one of your friends, one that you don't really like all
|
||
that much, dress up for you, that way you don't have to get shot and you
|
||
can piss the people off, as well as your friend...
|
||
|
||
4. For the next way to piss someone off you are going to need a few
|
||
supplies... here is a short list:
|
||
|
||
a. few boards (about 4 or 5)
|
||
b. a bunch of two-by-fours (40 or so)
|
||
c. a few boxes of nails (10 penny would do it)
|
||
d. a hammer
|
||
e. a car with a loud stereo
|
||
f. a small log (about 2-3 inches think. 3 feet tall)
|
||
g. a old t-shirt
|
||
h. some gas
|
||
i. a lighter
|
||
|
||
ok, now, real late at night go to persons house, park your car
|
||
across the street and blast some music, not rap, most suburban family's
|
||
don't like it and they may call the cops on you and that would piss you
|
||
off, not the desired effect... Some Chicago would be great... maybe some
|
||
Journey, even a little White Snake would do the job... Ok, the music is
|
||
going to distract the people from what you are going to do... First take
|
||
the boards, the nails, and the hammer... Nail a board up over the front
|
||
and back door, and over any big windows... Next, use the two-by-fours and
|
||
nail them up over all the remaining windows except one... Make sure the
|
||
house is totally secure from anyone getting in or out, except from the
|
||
one window you left open... (make sure the music is still on) Alright,
|
||
your almost done... take your old t-shirt and wrap it around the log you
|
||
got... then drench the t-shirt in the gas and set it on fire... Now take
|
||
your torch and throw it into the window you left alone... now really fast
|
||
board up the window... run to your car, turn the music down and yell real
|
||
loud, "Do you smell something burning dear?" then skid out and drive away.
|
||
This is really really really really going to piss these people off, why
|
||
cuz they are stuck inside of a burning house, with NO escape, so try to
|
||
be out of the state, or even better the country within the hour...
|
||
|
||
That ends part one of this small but enlightening series of "Ways to Piss
|
||
People Off Really Really Bad!" Written and produced solely for your enjoyment
|
||
by the hand of belial...for more crazy ways to piss people off call:
|
||
Avalon at 9o8.739.4274...
|
||
|
||
//07To Live is to Die (Belial)
|
||
|
||
What is this life? What is the answer? Can you answer, you, do
|
||
you have the power to answer this? Take care and word this properly, for
|
||
in my opinion there is no answer to this question. Why ask then, why not?
|
||
|
||
Life. It is beautiful, in its savage glory. But, when does it go to
|
||
far? What gives another man, man being mankind, the power to tell another man
|
||
what to do, or how to act. What makes one man more powerful than another?
|
||
|
||
These are all questions I ask the world and myself. Do I know the
|
||
answer? In my heart, I know what's right to me. I am a man and I am an
|
||
individual, my ways are not your ways and my answers are not the same as
|
||
yours, but does that make my answers any less valid?
|
||
|
||
This life, in my opinion, is great, great because of what it is.
|
||
Man isn't evil or good, man is both. Man is the perfect union of total evil
|
||
and total good. That is how we survive and prosper. In my opinion there is
|
||
no good at all, because somewhere it has been effected by evil. Evil is not
|
||
bad, evil is natural, just as natural as good.
|
||
|
||
With life there always follows death. Leading me to ask, what is
|
||
death? And, where does the soul, if there is a soul, go when the body dies?
|
||
This question is just as complex as life itself, and probably, as in life,
|
||
there is no answer to death. And, with the little knowledge I have, I know
|
||
that life, great as it is, and death, great as it is, has no real meaning
|
||
for me at all. I am born, I live, and I die, all with no meaning. Maybe the
|
||
meaning will be shown to me when I die, maybe not, but I am secure knowing
|
||
that life is no more than death, and with death a life without meaning,
|
||
ends...
|
||
|
||
(------)
|
||
|
||
These are just a few thoughts I have had... No, I am not suicidal or anything
|
||
like that... =) Anyway, if you would like to get in contact with me just
|
||
call my board, Avalon at .908.739.4274. Thanx, laterz...
|
||
|
||
//08Jump on the Bandwagon (Edicius)
|
||
|
||
I just sat down, and re-read alot of old issues of Pez. Pez is
|
||
definally one of the best 'zines ever created. Pez was just the epitome
|
||
of a text file 'zine. Editorials and Commentary's on a range of
|
||
subjects, great short stories, and little rants and ramblings on
|
||
everything. Anyway, thats not the point. I just re-read Murmur's
|
||
article on Liberalism in Pez # 24. I'm not going to re-write it, read it
|
||
yourself. But the one part that struck me the most, summerized of
|
||
course, is when he said that "no one has any balls, no one will go out
|
||
and buy an album without hearing anything from it beforehand. alot of
|
||
people follow a blind trend." thats basically what he said in one part.
|
||
(sorry to murmur if i totally missed the point. :>)
|
||
|
||
[----]
|
||
|
||
i find this to be _very_ true. in my area, very few people know the
|
||
hell half of the bands i listen to are. i've had my friends look at my
|
||
cd's and basically go "duuh."
|
||
the other day, i went to a record store near my house, one of the
|
||
few places i can get smaller records (dead milkmen, they might be giants,
|
||
etc), basically, anything i can't get at the wiz. (the big record store
|
||
around here.) i only had about 3 bucks on me, and i saw a pavement
|
||
sticker i wanted to get. these two chicks walk in, and buy the new
|
||
michael jackson single, "you are not alone", and some jodeci single.
|
||
they looked at the sticker, gave me a strange look, and had no idea who
|
||
the hell pavement was.
|
||
in my yearbook last year, they had a survey. one of the questions
|
||
was "what is your favorite album". the top four picks were: pearl jam;
|
||
vitalogy, green day; dookie, nirvana; unplugged, pearl jam; ten. with an
|
||
"honarable mention" going to nirvana; nevermind.
|
||
ACK. pearl jam, green day, and nirvana? what the hell is this
|
||
crud? where's frank black? where's pavement? where's they might be
|
||
giants? WHERE'S WEEZER GOD DAMNIT?
|
||
those bands aren't on there, for one simple reason: no one has heard
|
||
of them.
|
||
alot of people in my school jumped on a bandwagon, at one point or
|
||
another. i admitantly have done that in the past, too. but i've seen
|
||
the light. um. yeah.
|
||
the worst part about bandwagons, is that they happen _very_ late.
|
||
matthew sweet didn't get overly popular until after his 5th album. blues
|
||
traveler had 4 albums before they made it big. everyone calls hootie and
|
||
the blowfish the "hottest new band", when they've been around for 10
|
||
years. everyone thinks that "cracked rear view" is their only album,
|
||
when they've had 2 indie releases.
|
||
don't get me wrong. i love hootie and the blowfish. i heard them
|
||
on local radio stations about a year before they made mtv. last summer,
|
||
about 2 months before "hold my hand" became popular, i heard their album,
|
||
and loved it. if i had a cd player at that point, i would have gotten
|
||
the cd then. but i still got the cd before most of the people i know got
|
||
it.
|
||
(in febuary, when the new hootie album comes out, i'm the first to
|
||
buy it. :>)
|
||
i went out, bought my frank black albums, without ever hearing any
|
||
song. i bought pavement's wowie zowie, i didn't even know who pavement
|
||
was. the point is, i don't follow trends, the people are my school do,
|
||
thus, i am cooler.
|
||
well, take away the cooler part. i just have better taste in music.
|
||
|
||
//09Edi's List o' Cd's (Edicius)
|
||
. .. a public service message from:
|
||
|
||
$$$$$&<26> ,&$$$&,
|
||
$$$$ ,&$$$&, $$$$$&. ,&$$$&, $$$^`$$ .
|
||
$$$ $$$^$$$ $$$^$$$ $$$^$$$ $$$ `
|
||
.o&$$$^ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ `$$$$$,
|
||
$$$$$$, $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ ,`$$$ $$, :
|
||
`$$$$$$$, $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$j$$$ ,$$ $$$ $^$$, &
|
||
____________ `$$$$$$$j$$$, $$$j$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$$$$ $$$ $$$ . `$$,j$ _bl.blade!__
|
||
`$$$'^`$$$$$,`$$$$$' $$$ $$$ $$$^$$$ $$$j$$$ `$$$'
|
||
$' `$$$$$&. `$$ $$' `$$$$$' `$'
|
||
: `$ $' `$$$' :
|
||
. : : `$'
|
||
. :
|
||
. .
|
||
. .
|
||
|
||
Hi. I figured I should enlighten everyone out there reading this
|
||
'zine. So, in my ongoing quest to help everyone, here is my list of cd's
|
||
you should go out and buy, and cd's you should go out and scrap, burn the
|
||
tape if you have them, too. (Yes, I know this is a semi ripoff of Black
|
||
Francis' list Pez # 22, sorry bF. :>)
|
||
|
||
[----]
|
||
|
||
Get these cd's, right now.
|
||
|
||
Weezer; Weezer
|
||
Civ; Set Your Goals
|
||
Every Pixies Album ever made.
|
||
Frank Black; His self-tittled debut, Teenager of the Year is pretty
|
||
good too.
|
||
Every They Might Be Giants Album ever made.
|
||
Hootie and the Blowfish; Cracked Rear View (You can join the small
|
||
group of six million people to buy this record!)
|
||
Smashing Pumpkins; Siamese Dream
|
||
Violent Femmes; Violent Femmes & Add It Up
|
||
Swinging Utters; The Streets of San Fransico
|
||
The Soundtrack to the movie of Judgement Night
|
||
Better Then Ezra; Delux
|
||
Pavement; Wowie Zowie & Slanted and Enchanted
|
||
Cracker; Their self titled debut & Kerosene Hat
|
||
Chucklehead; Big Wet Kiss
|
||
Any U2 Album ever made.
|
||
Cranberries; No Need to Argue
|
||
Mighty Mighty Bosstones; Don't Know How to Party
|
||
|
||
(There's more you should buy, but, well, this is a good start.)
|
||
|
||
[----]
|
||
|
||
Burn and avoid these cd's.
|
||
|
||
Any Green Day or Offspring Cd.
|
||
That "Best of the 90's" Cd advertised on TV. (Including great 90's
|
||
hits like "Ice Ice Baby", "I'm Too Sexy", and "Unbelieveable".)
|
||
Hammer; The first one, with "Can't Touch This" on it, and Too Legit
|
||
To Quit. There's a few songs on The Funky Headhunter that I kinda like.
|
||
:>)
|
||
Every Hole Cd ever made.
|
||
All of the Nirvana Cd's, except for Nevermind. This includes
|
||
Incesticide, In Utero, and the Unplugged Cd.
|
||
Any Cd by Heavy D and the Boyz.
|
||
|
||
[----]
|
||
|
||
There, you are now enlighted. Your soul has been sanctified.
|
||
|
||
//10My Favorite Messages (Edicius)
|
||
here's two messages that i captured a _long_ time ago, that i thought
|
||
were both pretty cool. :>
|
||
|
||
[----]
|
||
|
||
dATE: 10:40 pm Sat Jul 15, 1995 nUMBER : 69 oF 81
|
||
fROM: Rattle bASE : [Phear] H/P Mags
|
||
tO : Hooch rEFER #: 43
|
||
sUBJ: Re: Hootie rEPLIES: nONE
|
||
sTAT: sENT oRIGIN : lOCAL
|
||
|
||
E> GOOD FOR LAUGHS?! ARE YOU JOKING?! ITS GREAT TO JERK OFF TO!@
|
||
H>
|
||
H> why do i have the feeling you're not the kind of person i'd want to meet? <g
|
||
what? edi?!?@
|
||
|
||
hes just your average little chubby red-head who jerks off too much..
|
||
|
||
--- Renegade v10-05 Exp
|
||
* Origin: .oO) tLoRaH (Oo. [6o9]698-i358 - 2 Nodes - 5 Gigs (173:609/1)
|
||
|
||
[----]
|
||
|
||
dATE: 10:48 pm Sat Jul 15, 1995 nUMBER : 74 oF 83
|
||
fROM: Rattle bASE : [Phear] H/P Mags
|
||
tO : Edicius rEFER #: 62
|
||
sUBJ: Re: Hootie rEPLIES: nONE
|
||
sTAT: sENT oRIGIN : lOCAL
|
||
|
||
W> hey you guys are good for jerking off..whoops i mean for laughs.
|
||
E>
|
||
E> hey baby. you know, if you come to dummercon, i'm sure you and me can g
|
||
E> a secluded place somewhere for a few minutes.
|
||
Yea.. you could go somewhere alone and you could make a move on her and she
|
||
could laugh at you..
|
||
|
||
btw-- that was really pathetic tom..
|
||
|
||
--- Renegade v10-05 Exp
|
||
* Origin: .oO) tLoRaH (Oo. [6o9]698-i358 - 2 Nodes - 5 Gigs (173:609/1)
|
||
|
||
//11Review: The Warped Tour (Edicius)
|
||
|
||
The Warped Tour/Stone Pony, Asbury Park, NJ/August 18th, 1995.
|
||
|
||
[----]
|
||
|
||
"Extreme music meets extreme sports."
|
||
|
||
That was the theme of the concert, spawned from the promoters of the
|
||
Lollapaloza-type touring show. They summed up the concert to a key.
|
||
|
||
13 Bands, professional skaters and bikers, and great times, all for
|
||
15 bucks. Can you ask for a better deal? Well, I can, I won the tickets
|
||
from a local radio station. :>
|
||
|
||
Armed with my guest pass, my good friend Steve, and 2 packs of
|
||
Starburst, I make my way inside about 2 o'clock, about 2 hours after the
|
||
thing started. Luckily, I didn't miss much. Just Wizo (a second-stage
|
||
band from Germany), and I forget who played the main stage at the point,
|
||
I believe it was Fluf and Orange 9mm.
|
||
|
||
A punk band from California, called Swinging Utters, took the stage.
|
||
They were pretty good, very interesting, to say the least. They played
|
||
many songs off of their last album, "Streets of San Fransico" <see review
|
||
on the same cd.> "Teenage Genocide", "Tied down, spit on", and
|
||
"Storybook Disease", were three of their songs that got the most reaction
|
||
from the crowd, and well deserved, too.
|
||
|
||
I hung around, watched the skaters and bikers doing some _very_
|
||
impressive things, and finnally, 3:30 came. Civ would be coming on the
|
||
second stage in 20 minutes, so I got a good standing spot, about 10 feet
|
||
from the stage, and soon after, the place was packed.
|
||
|
||
I came to the concert only really wanting to see Civ, so I was
|
||
estatic. They did a pretty quick, but intense, set, including their
|
||
songs "Boring Summer", "Set Your Goals", "Can't Wait One Minute More",
|
||
and a few others. Civ was definally the most anticipated band for the
|
||
second stage, and they showed everyone why.
|
||
|
||
During "Can't Wait One Minute More", the lead singer, Civ, said,
|
||
"I'm old, and I'm fucking tired. If you want to sing, just hop over the
|
||
guys in blue in front of the stage (guards), do a belly roll onto the
|
||
stage, and grab the microphone." One person actually did go up there and
|
||
sang with the band.
|
||
|
||
Civ left the stage, alittle earlier then most people would have
|
||
liked, but many people were pleased regardless.
|
||
|
||
The next band to take the second stage, was "Tilt". A hardcore band
|
||
from California, I believe. Personally, I didn't like them very much,
|
||
but that is largely due to the fact that their audio was terrible, and
|
||
the microphone went out at least 5 times during their 40 minute set.
|
||
|
||
"Sick of it all" was the last band that I stayed to see. They are a
|
||
very good hardcore band, and were highly anticipated, due to the fact
|
||
that they are originally from the area. They did alot of really good
|
||
songs, but during their last song (for the life of me, I forget the
|
||
name), someone only a few feet from me got trampled on. Scary stuff.
|
||
|
||
Unfortunally I didn't see any of the tour headliners, L7, Quicksand,
|
||
and others. The concert was still very good, regardless. From what I
|
||
was told, the second stage bands, especially Civ and Sick of It All, put
|
||
on a better show then most of the main stage bands.
|
||
|