142 lines
7.4 KiB
Plaintext
142 lines
7.4 KiB
Plaintext
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---------------------------- I Bleed for This? ------------------------------
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------03.10.94-----------------------------------------------------#004------
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"Stupid People Shouldn't Breathe"
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Jason Farnon
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You'd think there would be a limit to the stupidity in this world. That
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moronic jocks are just a figment of your stereo-typical imagination, and
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there is no possibility of people of such extreme stupidity existing in real
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life. Well here is a case study.
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The following article made me spend hours trying to figure out how
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people like this can exist. Finding these people's origin, and wondering
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where we have gone wrong to create such shit. I hurt my hand badly, because
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the physical pain was much better than the mental torment I was enduring.
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Judge for yourself. I have abbreviated the name for no reason. Fuck you if
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you think i'm protecting him. Actually i'm protecting myself from physical
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harm.
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"Fucking stupidity. Fucking stupidity everywhere. I hate it."
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-- Ozone Pilot
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This person is someone you might consider popular, and he showed off his
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coolness by coming drunk to school and getting suspended for ten days. He
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used to play football, but he hurt his leg. The sad thing is he is going to
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be Senator. He probably wrote this for extra credit because he was failing
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remedial English.
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[Excerpt from a High School Paper]
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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What's the deal with our generation?
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-----------------------------------
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by Steve
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What strange times these are, huh? Only a month and a half into the
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glorious year of 1994, we have had some strange turns of events. Tonya
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Harding (if you can stand to hear her name) has made figure skating into a
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contact sport by allegedly putting a hit out on Nancy Kerrigan. It also has
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been made apparent we can't leave our children alone with multi-million
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dollar pop stars anymore.
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Why would anyone let their kid hang out with Michael Jackson for long
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periods of time alone anyway? If my kid asked me if he could stay with a man
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that doesn't date much, has had much surgery performed to his face, whose
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family has a history of child molestation, and lives with chimpanzees, I
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don't know about you but I think I'd be skeptical.
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We also had the Bobbitts, but let's not even delve into that subject.
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What next? A team that loses four consecutive Super Bowls? Enough said.
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Speaking of Super Bowls, isn't the grandest of days for pigskin lovers the
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beginning for Senior Slump to start kicking in?
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Here is a question I've been pondering: Where do midgets work? They
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make up only a small portion of the population, but they are out there
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somewhere and I want to know where they work? Are they just waiting for
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their big break in Hollywood, hoping to be the next Tattoo from "Fantasy
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Island" or those little referees in the Larry Johnson sneaker commercial.
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If that's the truth, then you know what's next for the midgets after that?
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Directing.
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That's another question: Why do all celebrities want to direct? What is
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the fascination? How many hicks are out there? Raise your hand. Well from
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my count, not too many. Then what would possess the half-time organizing
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geniuses to put on a country-western concert at the most-watched even of the
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year. Unless there are a whole lot of closet Garth Brooks fans out there, I
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reckon not too many people were interested in the half-time show.
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What do you think the line in Las Vegas is on California breaking up and
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drifting away from the rest of the U.S.? I'm going to make a bold prediction
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and say that the old Beatles will be a heck of a lot better than the new
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Beatles. Let's face it, the work of the three remaining Beatles over the
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last 15 years has not been too impressive. And the Fab Four without John
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Lennon is like the Celtics without Larry Bird; it just isn't as good.
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Maybe Elvis could fill in for him. I'm sure he wouldn't mind leaving
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the fry-o-lators at Wendy's to rock n' roll for a while. It has certainly
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sparked the interest of many people, though. I haven't seen people this
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excited since there were rumors that New Edition was getting back together.
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Well I think most of you are with me that there are some with me that
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there are some crazy thing happening out there and it is bound to get
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crazier. I'm not going to complain because it gives me something to write
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about. I just hope none of my fellow Blueline staff members get crazy and
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hit me in the hand with a crowbar so they can get more writing space.
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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The article is sheer stupidity, that is a given. But one paragraph
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repulsed me the most, that being the one about "midgets". Let me be mister
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politically correct. He asks what has happened to the midgets. Since the
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are poorly represented today, we can shit on their heads. I asked around,
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and people found the article extremely amusing. They laughed. They thought
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it was funny. I plotted for the day when I could cut off Steve's legs, so he
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will know how fucking funny he is.
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If I had written:
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"I wonder what the blacks are doing. I mean I am a suburban whitey
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sheltered by daddy, so I never see those colored folks less they are bused in
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from the inner-city to experience real schools that are actually funded. I
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mean they are probably in the inner city, buying guns, so they can go rob
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grocery stores or fellow minorities for the Nikes. Or maybe they are
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shooting up crack. Who knows. As long as I don't have to deal with them.
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You never know."
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Or better yet...
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"I wonder where all the retards are. I mean there were so many in
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Junior High School, and now they are all gone. They must be doing something.
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They can't possibly all be dead. They must have jobs, or are probably
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sitting at home eating oatmeal and shaking."
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I would be shot on the spot. I would be branded a racist, a bigot, and
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burned at the stake. But we can laugh at midgets. Their handicaps have not
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been milked by the fucking media. When they are, it'll be oh so gouache to
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speak of them like our friend Steven did, and I just might be able to write
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about blacks like I just did without anyone blinking an eye. Doesn't anyone
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here feel bad for the damn Ethiopians anymore? Pathetic, isn't it.
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"Uh. Woman. Beer. Rape. Is that a football? We'll get some
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pussy later."
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-- Another Moron
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You, Steven, are a fucking idiot. I wish for you to die. The saddest
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thing is you do not even realize your own stupidity, and live in your
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pathetic universe surrounded with people just like you. Once and for all it
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is proven time and time again. Stupid people shouldn't breathe.
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==============================================================================
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IBFT is: Farnon's cat - kiesa%tacobel@merk.com Home Board: (508)371-9849
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Snarf's cat - clawdia%tacobel@merk.com Pulsating Temple of Stan
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mailing list: bleed-request@unix.amherst.edu
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