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775 lines
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********* *** *** ******
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********* *** *** *** *
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*** *** *** *** **
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*** ********* *******
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*** *** *** *** **
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*** *** *** *** **
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*** he *** *** umus *** ** eport
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THE Electronic Fun Zone dedicated to fertilizing Mother Earth
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in the finest possible tradition. Serving Mother since the 1950s.
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Issue 009, Vol I
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September 1988
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copyright (c) 1988
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caren park
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chief bottle washer, owner, publisher, editor, other stuff
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all rights reserved, and all that legal rigamarole
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============================================================================
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A very few words:::
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If those among you would kindly send in junk that you have no other
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use for, stuff that you read and find humorous, filth that no one else will
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take, stories absurd or preposterous, news that isn't fit to line
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litterboxes anywhere, if you would send those gems to us here at The Humus
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Report, we'd appreciate it. Our address will be given to you near the end
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of our report. We will cull from the post office box all death threats and
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denunciations, and print what we can of whatever is left. The rest is up to
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you...
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We would appreciate it if: (1) the sending of copyrighted material
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for publication was sent ONLY if you also send along a legal release for us
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to use that material; (2) if you should see non-attributed copyrighted
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material in our stuff, please let us know ASAP so we can take appropriate
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actions; (3) if you like what we do here, please donate whatever you feel
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appropriate, so that we can continue to bring you this stuff month after
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month...
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I also have a program contained within CKP-MSG.ARC from which
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virtually everything you will see here can be found, and then some. For a
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nominal cost per year, I will provide the latest copy of the ibm/compat
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program AND the latest updates of the datafile to you... address inquiries
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about this program and/or the datafile to the address near the end of our
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report...
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We can thank Malcolm Peltcher for educating us about gas grills,
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Roger Tang, Mike Santora, and a special thanx to Ronald Reagan and all of
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his friends for making it exceptionally easy to find good fertilizings...
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So, without further adieu, on with the show...
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============================================================================
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"Abandon hope, all ye who enter here..."
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============================================================================
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Edgar Rice Burroughs (1st, 1875), the novelist who created the
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creature eventually known through Johnny Weismuller as the kid with the "Ah-
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ee-ah-ee-ah!" heard round the world... On the 7th, Queen Liz the First was
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the first of the Liz's (1533) to be Liz, leading to Liz Taylor and all of
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her husbands in our time... The 7th also produced Grandma Moses (1860) and
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James Van Allen (1914), both significant folk in the history of the United
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States, and both well worth researching...
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Peter Sellers didn't start warning Cato or bothering Chief Inspector
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until after his birth on the 8th, 1925... Jesse Owens (12th, 1913) realized
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several dreams during his lifetime, not the least of which was spoiling Herr
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Hitler's predictions of the dominance of the white man over the black man in
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the 1936 track events of the Berlin Olympics...
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Many talented ladies dot the September scene, with Margaret Sanger,
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feminist extraordinaire (14th, 1883); Dame Agatha Christie (15th, 1890),
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mystery writer par excellance; and Lauren "...just put your lips together
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and blow..." Bacall (16th, 1924), great whistler, actress, and Bogart foil
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in many movies...
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Numerous writers need give thanx to Herbert George Wells (21st,
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1866) for expanding visions of the future without the help of rose-colored
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glasses; Numerous musicians need give thanx to Ray Charles (23rd, 1930) for
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his expanding visions of the future through his fingers and mind; Numerous
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satirists ... etc... Al Capp (28th, 1909), who found Dogpatch somewhere on
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the map of these here United States, and lived to tell us about it and its
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inhabitants; and, those that wish to should give thanx that Truman Capote
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was born on the 30th in 1924, among our shortest of short-story writers...
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Last, but not least, we have Jim Hensen (24th, 1936) creating
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characters who live today without strings (like Kermit and Miss Piggy), and
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John Chapman (26th, 1774), THE original Johnny Appleseed... apparently he
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was not a fig-ment of someone's pie-eyed imagination... :)
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Because it occurs all over the first week at one time or another,
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we'll just put Labor Day up here, even though we attempt to do no labor
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during that day...
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Aaron Burr seems to have led a most extraordinary life, and being
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acquitted on charges of plotting to set up an empire appears to be yet
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another sharp point in his, 1st, 1807... The history of Los Angeles dates
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back to the 4th in 1781, founded in a valley appropriately named "the Valley
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of Smokes" by the Indians; they noticed that what smoke went up didn't
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disperse on the winds easily; they should have nuked the sight then...
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The first gasoline pump is delivered to a gasoline dealer on the 5th
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in 1885; I often wonder who they would have delivered it to back then if
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NOT a gasoline dealer; I can't remember any 7-11s or AM-PM Minimarts being
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open, even back then... The Lincoln Highway opened as the first paved
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coast-to-coast highway on the 10th in 1913, while the 14th in 1899 is
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important because some tourist named Henry Bliss gets his clock punched in
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New York, becoming the first person attacked by an automobile on a permanent
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basis... While we're here, we might as well point out that the first baby
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born on the Golden Gate Bridge took thirty-some years to gain that
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notoriety, waiting until the 19th in 1968...
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Star Trek first appears on TV, using NBC as their launching pad, on
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the 6th in 1966... Swanson proves you CAN fool people some of the time,
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selling its first "TV dinner" on the 10th in 1953, leading the way to the
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premiere of Gunsmoke on CBS on the 10th in 1955... "The Tonight Show"
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debuted on the 24th in 1954; does anyone remember the names of even half of
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the >long-term< hosts?...
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If you were reading last month's Humus Report, you might have seen
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something that said that Voyager II was launched sometime in August of
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1977... well, I've also seen a September 5th, 1977, launch date... which
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one is right?
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Lincoln makes two important speeches during September, the first
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about when you CAN fool people (8th, 1858), the second about inalienable
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rights (the Emancipation Proclamation, 22nd, 1863)... International
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Literacy Day is celebrated on the 8th every year... The New York Times
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first goes on sale, at 2 cents per copy, on the 18th in 1851...
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The capitol of the United States may have eventually moved to
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Washington DC, but most "New Yawkaas" will tell you that NYC is STILL the
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capitol (having been crowned on the 13th in 1788)... AP Giannini married
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Clorinda Cuneo on the 14th, 1892; we don't know either marriage partner, so
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if you do, please send us information about WHY we placed this announcement
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here... Oh, yeah... The first tooth extraction to occur under "happy
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drugs" occurred in Charlestown, Massachusetts (30th, 1846); I've heard it
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claimed that marriage affects the same nerves, so perhaps we should use
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happy drugs during the ceremony? Just a thought...
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Felt Hat Day is celebrated on the 15th... The start of the Jewish
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New Year appears on the 18th... The Autumn Harvest Festival happens in
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Wheaton, Illinois on the 22nd... The first day of fall is usually on the
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23rd... and, the 28th is the birth anniversary of Confucius...
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A patent was granted for the Ice Cream Cone, a most important date
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in American history, the 22nd of September 1903...
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This one intrigues me, and perhaps it's the reason the Post Office
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is in such dire straits all the time: The US Post Office was established on
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the 22nd of September in 1789... Congress came along two days later (24
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September 1789) and CREATED the Post Office... where's that chicken and egg
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again?
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My, the things you can learn by reading The Humus Report... Boggles
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the mind, don't it? :)...
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============================================================================
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Revenge: I'll just let the following speak for itself. If you know
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of any "practical jokes" or "revenge tactics", please let us know about them
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so we can include them in a future issue.
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After all, there are oh so many folks out there who deserve just
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what is coming to them... :)
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-----
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You can also use high voltage fields and non-contacting electrodes.
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You want a gradiant of a volt/cm or so, if I remember correctly.
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Frequencies in the range of 3-5 Hz can cause confusion in the subject; this
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leads to an interesting anti-door-to-door salesman/preacher device. Two
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metal plates, one on either side of the door, running vertically from about
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3 to 7 or 8 feet above the ground. This allows the filling of the space in
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front of the door with the ELF field. Connect a high-voltage amp's output
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to the plates, and drive it with your sine wave generator.
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If, upon answering the door, you find a personage that you do not
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wish to speak with, switch on the power. Maybe wiggle the frequency
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slightly. If they get sufficiently confused and dazed you might be able to
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reverse the intended roles. Do not attempt this if you have a metal
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doorframe
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- Scott Scidmore, talking about using electronics in doorways
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against people you don't like, 14 October 1987 -
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-----
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FULLY LIMITED WARRANTY: C&S Software (hereinafter explicitly
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referred to as CS) warrants this product against defect in material and
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workmanship for a period of 1/5 of a second or one (1) disk revolution,
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which ever occurs first.
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During the warranty period we will replace, repair or ignore (at our
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option) any defective item provided it has not been subjected to flagrant
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abuse such as: inserting the disk in a disk drive; reading the instruction
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manual, etc; or used in accordance with the directions supplied.
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No other warranties are expressed including the warranties of
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merchantability; fitness for a particular purpose; or delivery of product
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ordered. Nothing in this statement shall be construed as a written
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statement of warranty or guarantee including, but not limited to, this
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sentence.
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This statement takes away specific legal rights and you may have
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other rights taken away which may vary from state to state
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- C & S Software -
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-----
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In binary language, 00 is none,
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Which cannot be said to be new.
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Nor is it novel that 01 is one,
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But in binary, 10 is two!
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If you ponder and strive, perhaps you'll contrive
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A matrix from which you will see
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That 101 stands for the numeral five,
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While the simple 11 equals three.
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Computers, of course, speak binary perforce,
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Though we mortals the language abhor;
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We'd sooner endorse the numerical Morse,
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But we're not who the language is 100
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- Francis Cartier -
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-----
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To my darling Husband,
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I am sending you this letter in a bogus software company envelope so
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that you will be sure to read it. Please forgive the deception, but I
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thought you should know what has been going at home since your IBM computer
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entered out lives two years ago.
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The children are doing quite well, Tommy is seven now and is a
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bright, handsome boy. He has developed quite an interest in the arts. He
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drew a family portrait for a school project. All the figures were good, but
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yours was excellent! The chair and the back of your head are very
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realistic. You would be very proud of him.
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Little Jennifer turned three in September. She looks a lot like you
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did at that age. She is an attractive child and quite smart. She still
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remembers that you spent the whole afternoon with us on her birthday. What
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a great day for Jen, despite the fact that it was stormy and the electricity
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was out.
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I am also doing well. I went blond about a year ago and was
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delighted to discover that it really is more fun! Lars --- I mean, Mr
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Swenson, the department head --- has taken an interest in my career and has
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become a good friend to us all. I have discovered that the household chores
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are much easier after I realized that you didn't mind being vacuumed, but
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that feather dusting made you sneeze.
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The house is in good shape. I had the living room painted last
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spring. I'm not sure if you noticed it. I made sure that the painters cut
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air holes in the drop cloth so you wouldn't be disturbed.
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Well, my dear, I must be going. Uncle Lars --- Mr Swenson, I mean
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--- is taking us all on a ski trip and there is packing to do. I have hired
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a housekeeper to take care of things while we are away. She'll keep things
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in order, fill your cofee cup, and bring your meals to your desk, just the
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way you like it.
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I hope you and the IBM have a lovely time while we are gone. Tommy,
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Jen and I think of you often - try to remember us while your disks are
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booting.
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Love Mary
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============================================================================
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During Gemini 2, an unmanned-spacecraft test in the 1960's, a radio
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commentator at the scene had his launch copy prepared ahead of time. As the
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countdown ended, the reporter began to read, "We have liftoff, and the giant
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rocket is rising into the beautiful blue Florida skies, streaking out over
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the Atlantic, a thunderous roar filling the area."
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When he finally looked up, he realized that he heard no roar, and
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saw no rocket rising. The rocket still sat there. He thought fast and
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carried on: "And something has gone wrong --- four giant arms have reached
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out and pulled the rocket back to the pad!"
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- Nicholas C Chriss, "Editor & Publisher" -
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Here's a small list of some of the more "unusual" catalogue of
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publications out there... I realize that I'm not all inclusive in the
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category of strangeness here, so if there's a group or a publication that
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you feel should be included in future fertilizings, I'd appreciate hearing
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about them... DISCLAIMER: We do NOT advocate anything from any one of
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these mail orders, nor are we affiliated with any of them, so if something
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goes wrong, we ain't responsible... With that in mind... :)
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-----
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Schizophrenics International
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PoBox 50456
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Ft Worth, TX 76105
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Definitely lives up to its name. Has that certain "something that
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only comes with true psychosis. Ask for a copy of the FREE booklet THE
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PSYCHOLOGY OF PURITY AND CHASTITY by Ed Mood. "Even after we become
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children of the Creator we are still emotionally carnal and are in need of
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conversion to a human vegetable. That is what schizophrenia is all about."
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He says that mental illness allowed him to "purify" himself. "Sex is
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spiritual dirt and insanity, since it sinks worse to the tree, it is
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spiritual manure... The emotionally carnal person eats his dirt and having
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eaten, proceeds to manufacture his flesh after the manner of barnyard
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animals by using his dirty bottom. The human vegetable converts his dirt
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and manure by keeping his face to the light and manufactures his flesh by
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using the top half of his body, as a tree, up in the air, where it is clean"
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Action Amenities
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1093 Broxton Ave, Suite 567
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Los Angeles, CA 90024
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For only the most daring collectors of hate-psychosis materials.
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"Confidential dissemination" of "discreet materials" and "procurement and
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disburesement of intolerable viwepoints and expressions," including some
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from the horrifying Robert T Calhoun & Associates, a group so noxious they
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have had to flee even THIS country. Handbills, posters, reprints of the
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most hair-curdling psycho-racist rants, starnge and spiritually obscene
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cassettes, various vivid illustrations of psychosis in action. The
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"Preacher Tape" ($6) is a recording of a bitter, hateful small-town Jim
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Jones-type who got plastered before his radio sermon --- unbelievable. Most
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frightening of all the the tape "Plan for Chaos" ($6), perhaps the most
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disturbing piece of electronic media on the planet. We certainly do not
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condone all of their activities. Send SASE
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-----
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IN MEDIA'S FECES and KILL FOR PEACE AGAIN
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Tuli Kupferberg
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160 Sixth Ave
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New York, NY 10013
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Potent minimalist cartoons by one of the Fugs, a bulldada band that
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will live in infamy. $1 each [Note: this is the same man who used to mail
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his snot to the power company, doing George Metesky one better]
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-----
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Loompanics
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PO Box 1197
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Port Townsend, WA 98368
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"The Greatest Book Catalog In The World" --- outlaw publishers who
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also sell outlaw books... including some by our military. "No more
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secrets, no more excuses, no more limit." A few of their categories:
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Underground economy. Fake IDs. Police science. Con games. Self-defense.
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Revenge. Guns. Bombs. Guerrilla warfare. Self-sufficiency. Alternate
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energy. Life extension. Drugs. Heresy. Forbidden philosophies. Human
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pleasure. $2 for huge catalog that is a reading experience UNTO ITSELF!
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Opens doors you didn't want to know existed! Highly recommended... will
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scare the pants off some people, because it points out aspects of the world
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that just won't go away. Don't just buy the catalog --- order the books
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before the company gets shut down
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-----
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Edmund Scientific
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101 E Gloucester Pike
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Barrington, NJ 08007
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The "Spencer's Gifts" of modern science, boon to junior-high science
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nerds scince I was a kid, and still going strong. Every conceiveable
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geegaw, tool, and kit for amateur science hobbyists. They have Three Mile
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Island and CHALLENGER Space Shuttle plastic model kits (for the morbid
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child-at-heart)! Remember how you could hold a cheap magnifying glass under
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the hot sun and scorch leaves and hapless insects? Well, today's kids can
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purchase three-by-four giant Fresnel lenses that will "melt asphalt in
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seconds." Also: enormous balloons and UFO kites for scaring the paranoid
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old occultist ladies in the neighborhood. Spy-o-scopes and Giant Ears for
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snooping on Sis when she's huffing glue with the neighbor's boy. Hologram
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pendants with blinking eyes and psychedelic optical illusions. Van DeGraff
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generators, 50,000-volt Tesla coils, Jacob's ladders. Unfortuantely, it
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looks like they don't carry the home atom-smasher anymore. Someone's Mom
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probably complained. But a sharp ten-year-old could probably still assemble
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a small nuclear detonator with the junk in this big FREE catalog
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-----
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Archie McPhee
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Box 30852
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Seattle, WA 98103
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Great selection of kitschy toys and decor --- lawn flamingos, fake
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rocks, duck hats, rubber dinosaurs, lobster-claw harmonicas, neat-o toys
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from the 50's, Japanese monsters... and good prices. One of the few
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remaining stockers of Potato Guns! Huge free catalog... please go to the
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trouble of asking for it. A postcard will suffice. When in Seattle, visit
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the shop at 3534 Stone Way North... they're in the book
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============================================================================
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Using A Gas Grill
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by Malcolm Peltcher (c)opyright 1987
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We got a gas grill.
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This is the bigtime, folks, the mainstream. Not one of those wimpy
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little charcoal grills which you hang over for hours and re-squirt with some
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liquid which they CLAIMED was flammable, only to find the liquid only puts
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out what little fire you already had. I'm talking about a GAS grill, just
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like all the steak places use.
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First, it is important to understand the nature of a gas grill. It
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is basically a blast furnace, scaled down to backyard proportions. Set at a
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high enough temperature (essentially, anything from "ON" up), it can melt
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every metal known to man, with the possible exception of its own housing,
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which I suspect is made of tungsten. A gas grill is NOT electric, nor does
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it in any way involve electricity, and is therefore rather unpredictable.
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And lastly, a gas grill has a phenomenal thermal mass, to the extent that it
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can inflict third degree burns for days after being turned off.
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Now that you understand the basics of the gas grill, we will go into
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a gas grill "how to" tutorial which will prepare you for all aspects of
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owning and operating a gas grill.
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First, of course, comes assembly of our unit. This should always
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begin at the store where you purchase your grill, where you pay the clerk an
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extra $30 to have the grill assembled by a dyslexic high school dropout. It
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will be completed at home, where you add the parts that weren't included
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with your unit.
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Parts not included with your unit fall into two categories. One is
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parts which were not packed with your unit at the factory. The main members
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of this category are the two eight-ounce vegetable cans that go into little
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clips under the grill to catch drippings. The other category is parts the
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dyslexic high school dropout stole. This includes almost everything else.
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A quick trip to the store for replacement of those parts, and you're ready
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for your first outdoor gas cooking experience.
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So now you are ready to cook, except you never did install those
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eight ounce vegetable cans, because you don't have any. In fact, for as
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long as you live, you will NEVER have any eight ounce vegetable cans,
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because vegetables come in 15-ounce cans, for crying out loud! If
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vegetables came in eight ounce cans, don't you think the company who made
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|
the grill would have included a couple? Of course they would! Therefore,
|
|
later in this article, we'll show you exactly how to make your own eight-
|
|
ounce vegetable cans. For now, don't worry about it.
|
|
|
|
The first couple times you use the grill no grease should drip out
|
|
the bottom anyway, because it's getting absorbed by the lava rock at the
|
|
bottom of your grill, building that accumulation of rotten grease and other
|
|
putrid food substances so important in giving outdoor grilled food that
|
|
special flavor.
|
|
|
|
That process is known as "seasoning", because if we referred to it
|
|
as "rotting," people whould tend to have a lower opinion of the overall gas
|
|
grilling picture. So forget the cans for now, and let's get right to the
|
|
heart of the matter:
|
|
|
|
Turn on the grill, light it, then go find a dead animal to put on
|
|
it. This could be an essentially whole dead animal, or various chopped parts
|
|
of one, but make sure there aren't any fur or feathers or scales or anything
|
|
like that.
|
|
|
|
Now just flop this dead animal right up there on the grill and
|
|
commence to flopping it over from time to time. Keep this up until either
|
|
1) the dead animal or portion thereof is all the way cooked, or 2) the kids
|
|
have started screaming and your spouse has given up and given then peanut
|
|
butter and jelly sandwiches and it doesn't look like that dead animal is
|
|
ever going to get done anyway until you take it in and put it in the
|
|
microwave.
|
|
|
|
Now you have learned one of the fundamentals of the gas grill: 99%
|
|
of the heat it generates goes into its own metal parts, lava rock, and the
|
|
general air around it, while only 1% of the heat goes into the food you're
|
|
cooking.
|
|
|
|
Now that you understand the basics of cooking on the gas grill we
|
|
will get to the business of those eight-ounce vegetable cans:
|
|
|
|
HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN EIGHT-OUNCE VEGETABLE CANS
|
|
|
|
First, you must assemble together the following tools and materials:
|
|
|
|
2 square feet .090 or .125 guage soft sheet aluminum
|
|
self-lubricating, automatic advance band saw
|
|
metal lathe
|
|
metal forming brake
|
|
300-amp heliarc welder
|
|
|
|
There are probably a couple other things you'll need that I've
|
|
missed, so please read this entire article before starting, and I'll mention
|
|
those items as we encounter them.
|
|
|
|
To start, you must cut the can parts from the sheet aluminum. These
|
|
consist of a can bottom and a can side for each can. Use the band saw to
|
|
cut can sides, and an octagon shape which will become the can bottom. Now
|
|
turn the bottom on the lathe until it is round. Note that you don't need to
|
|
make can tops, because, while the gas grill manufacturer did not mention
|
|
this specifically in the instructions, what you need are OPENED vegetable
|
|
cans.
|
|
|
|
Now that you have cut the basic parts, form the sides into cylinder
|
|
shapes on the metal forming brake. Note that the cylinder springs apart
|
|
slightly when you release it from the brake. This is ok, we'll show you how
|
|
to deal with this problem in the next step.
|
|
|
|
The next step, of course, is welding your cans together. You will
|
|
use the 300-amp heliarc welder for this, and you will need a helper. Find a
|
|
friend who is as enthused as you are about do-it-yourself projects, or just
|
|
about any offspring old enough to comprehend voice instructions. Now, have
|
|
your helper hold the can side closed while you weld the seam...
|
|
|
|
Asbestos gloves! That was one of the other things you need that I
|
|
forgot to mention in the list at the beginning. If you've been reading as
|
|
you go rather than reading the whole article first, you have a problem with
|
|
your helper right now. Now you'll need to get some asbestos gloves, and
|
|
another helper, preferably one who wasn't watching while your first helper
|
|
got third degree burns. Or better yet, you could just put the can side in a
|
|
vice while you weld it. Don't you wish I had thought of that idea earlier?
|
|
I sure do.
|
|
|
|
With the side seam welded, all that remains is to attach the bottom.
|
|
First, turn the side in the vice so one end is up. By the way, put on the
|
|
asbestos gloves before doing this. I should have told you to do that first.
|
|
I bet you wish I had. With your remaining good hand weld the bottom to the
|
|
can. I know it really takes two hands, because there are two rods to hold,
|
|
but you can manage. It's sort of like holding chopsticks. Of course,
|
|
repeat these two welding steps for the second can, then install them into
|
|
your gas grill.
|
|
|
|
Then find another dead animal
|
|
|
|
============================================================================
|
|
|
|
Now I have taken your letter, and I'll show you point by god damn
|
|
point in the treaty where you are misinforming the people
|
|
|
|
- John Wayne, in a 11 November 1977 letter to Ronald Reagan, a copy
|
|
of which was sent to President Carter, where he accused Reagan of spreading
|
|
untruths about the Panama Canal Treaty in letters to supporters -
|
|
|
|
-----
|
|
|
|
The news... such an integral part of our life, and yet we tend to
|
|
ignore it so blindly... If it weren't for news, we wouldn't be able to
|
|
bring you such well-written items as these you have before you...
|
|
|
|
Behold...
|
|
|
|
-----
|
|
|
|
Senator Edmund S Muskie (D-Maine) had hoped to got out for dinner.
|
|
He never made it. Muskie's driver was a Washington staff member who
|
|
apparently was not used to driving in New York City. On his first right
|
|
turn the car ran directly into a demonstration, and the next street was
|
|
blocked by a United States Postal Service truck. The driver tried again,
|
|
and made his biggest mistake.
|
|
|
|
"Not here!" another staff member yelled. "This is the Lincoln
|
|
Tunnel. We'll end up in New Jersey."
|
|
|
|
"New Jersey?" Muskie rumbled. "What's in New Jersey?"
|
|
|
|
The driver turned back to the Gotham Hotel, and Muskie sent out for
|
|
Chinese food
|
|
|
|
- 1976 New York City UPI -
|
|
|
|
-----
|
|
|
|
Strange automobiles are a common sight in John Pierson's driveway.
|
|
A constant stream of motorists sputter into his farm asking for oil, gas,
|
|
jacks or the telephone. It's been going on for eight years, ever since the
|
|
state built a freeway off-ramp that ends at Pierson's driveway.
|
|
|
|
He tried discouraging people by posting a sign reading: "NO AUTO
|
|
SERVICE. NO PHONE. NO TOOLS. GO 2 MILES." But the ploy didn't work.
|
|
|
|
"One fellow came in here and said he needed some oil," Pierson, 73,
|
|
recalls. "After I put four quarts in his car, he told me he'd been up to
|
|
Reno gambling and he was broke. He said he'd send me the money, but that's
|
|
the last I ever heard of him."
|
|
|
|
The most memorable day at the Pierson spread, however, was when a
|
|
cosmetics salesman with a car full of aerosol cans drove up. The car was on
|
|
fire and the cans began exploding. "Some of them went clear over the house.
|
|
It made an awful mess. He said he'd be back to help me clean it up, but I
|
|
never saw him again"
|
|
|
|
- September 1976 Vacaville California UPI -
|
|
|
|
-----
|
|
|
|
Artist Horst Leissi says he wants to hang a huge cardboard and poly-
|
|
vinyl model of a house fly from the top of a city water tower as a monument.
|
|
|
|
"Any insect that has been swatted and stomped on for so long and is
|
|
still around deserves a monument," he says. "The way we are polluting the
|
|
world, the only species that is sure to survive is the insect."
|
|
|
|
The city council is scheduled to take up Leissi's proposal Tuesday.
|
|
Leissi says the 12-foot-high fly would hang from the tower for only a few
|
|
days, the dates depending on the weather. "I'd like to do it as soon as
|
|
possible, because we're going into the rainy season"
|
|
|
|
- 19 September 1976 Sacramento AP -
|
|
|
|
-----
|
|
|
|
Police have filed prowling charges against a 22-year-old man and a
|
|
32-year-old woman found in a nude embrace in a residential backyard at one
|
|
o'clock in the morning. The two had met at a local bar and apparently ended
|
|
up in a yard the man mistakenly thought belonged to a friend
|
|
|
|
- September 1977 Clearwater Florida -
|
|
|
|
-----
|
|
|
|
Toronto has had a team in the American League for less than two
|
|
years, but so far as Earl Weaver is concerned, he's already spent a lifetime
|
|
in the Canadian city.
|
|
|
|
The Baltimore manager has been the center of controversy in two wild
|
|
affairs involving the Orioles and the Blue Jays. Last September 15th, the
|
|
Orioles forfeited a game in Toronto because Weaver objected to the position
|
|
of a tarpaulin in the team's bullpen. The next time the Orioles visited
|
|
Toronto was Monday night and all Weaver could really object to was the
|
|
quality of Baltimore's pitching. The Orioles were shelled 24-10 by the Blue
|
|
Jays.
|
|
|
|
With Baltimore behind 19-6 in the fifth inning, Weaver decided to
|
|
give his beleaguered pitching corps some rest by inserting outfielder Larry
|
|
Harlow to pitch. Harlow, who pitched two games in the Florida League in
|
|
1971, got out the first two men he faced, then surrendered two walks, a wild
|
|
pitch, Rico Carty's two-run single, another walk and John Mayberry's three-
|
|
run homer, his second of the game, giving him seven RBI's for the night.
|
|
|
|
"It's tough pitching with seven years between starts," quipped
|
|
Harlow, who was told to warm up while Weaver determined if the move was
|
|
legal. "I was doing OK getting those first two guys out, but ran into
|
|
trouble when (Bob) Baylor walked. Then I had to go into a stretch. My
|
|
stretch killed me."
|
|
|
|
When the next batter walked, Weaver replaced Harlow with player-
|
|
coach Elrod Hendricks, normally a catcher. Hendricks, 37, just lobbed the
|
|
ball over the plate. He walked his first batter, then got rookie Brian
|
|
Milner to fly out and didn't allow a run before being replaced in the
|
|
eighth.
|
|
|
|
"My pitchers weren't doing the job so I had to go somewhere else,"
|
|
said Weaver, who probably would have preferred to be someplace else
|
|
|
|
- 1978 Toronto AP -
|
|
|
|
-----
|
|
|
|
Is there a civil servant in the house? Quick, we need a translation
|
|
of the notice below, which recently accompanied utility bills sent to users
|
|
in Tallahassee:
|
|
|
|
"A part of the recent electric rate increase represents an increase
|
|
in the fuel component in the base rate. Since only the actual fuel costs
|
|
are passed on to the customer, this part of the new base rate will not
|
|
increase your fuel charges. Instead, sometimes your electric bill will show
|
|
a negative fuel oil adjustment, while at other times it may show a positive
|
|
fuel adjustment. Your electric bill should include a negative fuel
|
|
adjustment except when the City is forced to burn low sulfur fuel in its new
|
|
plant, the City loses its present gas supply because of regulation or there
|
|
are substantial increases in the present cost of oil"
|
|
|
|
- September-October 1978 Mother Jones Frontlines -
|
|
|
|
-----
|
|
|
|
Kudoes go to the Connecticut Department of Environmental Protection,
|
|
which recently issued tough noise-pollution regulations. There are,
|
|
however, a few exceptions to the crackdown: the offending noise cannot be
|
|
produced by dogs, any motor vehicles, snow blowers, lawn mowers, daytime
|
|
blasting, farming equipment, airports, auto races, construction activities,
|
|
unamplified human voices, aircraft-propulsion testing or transmission
|
|
facilities, to name a few
|
|
|
|
- September-October 1978 Mother Jones Frontlines -
|
|
|
|
-----
|
|
|
|
Ronald Reagan -- who believes in appointing many of his old
|
|
Hollywood pals to government positions and commissions -- will probably
|
|
never appoint James Garner, star of 'The Rockford Files' and the 'Maverick'
|
|
TV series to anything. Not if Reagan or First Lady Nancy should happen to
|
|
read the following quotation from the actor on page 374 of 'James Garner', a
|
|
biography by Raymond Strait:
|
|
|
|
"Oh, Ronnie, Ronnie, isn't he wonderful? Listen, I was vice
|
|
president of the Screen Actors Guild when he was president, and we used to
|
|
tell him what to say. He can talk around a subject better than anyone in
|
|
the world. He's never had an original thought that I know of, and we go
|
|
back a hell of a lot of years. Do you realize >I< could have been your
|
|
president?"
|
|
|
|
- James Garner 29 Sept 1985 Seattle Times -
|
|
|
|
============================================================================
|
|
|
|
And, last but not least, a few words of wisdom. It's true that
|
|
mankind does not live by bread alone, and we've pretty much proved that
|
|
axiom with these unusual masterpieces. To quote someone much smarter than
|
|
myself (hi, kalen!): "I am non-denominational --- I accept all forms of
|
|
currency. So, open your hearts and empty your pockets!"
|
|
|
|
A wonderful sentiment, don't you think?
|
|
|
|
If you should find it in your hearts to like what we are doing here,
|
|
and would like to help us stay in business AND solvent, please send your
|
|
non-tax-deductible donations in whatever amount pleases you to:
|
|
|
|
caren park
|
|
2557 Fourteenth Avenue West
|
|
Suite 501
|
|
Seattle, Washington 98119
|
|
|
|
(01 January 1992)
|
|
|
|
We will acknowledge, in print, those with the warmest thoughts for
|
|
our survival...
|
|
|
|
We leave you now with a few thoughts...
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
q: What do Republicans call a black college student with a C-
|
|
average who gets into law school?
|
|
a: An affirmative action incompetent taking advantage of reverse
|
|
discrimination
|
|
|
|
q: What do Republicans call a WHITE college student with a C-
|
|
average who gets into law school?
|
|
a: Vice-presidential material
|
|
|
|
- Roger Tang, 12 September 1988 -
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Nervous, tense, Outwardly calm,
|
|
Like A cat walking on, But through
|
|
A barbed wire fence Eyes of psychically
|
|
Black, with white stripes, Clear
|
|
She paces about Glass
|
|
In the dark of the night. You could see the
|
|
Inner tremble
|
|
In the eye of the maelstrom, of nervousness
|
|
She prepared Growing inside
|
|
for the coming test Him like a
|
|
Ahead of her. Monster eating
|
|
Him from
|
|
Worried now, The
|
|
Panic overtook her Inside outward.
|
|
As she walked about
|
|
with an air Devouring
|
|
Of both fear and His calm persona
|
|
Anxiety With the talons
|
|
About her. Of despair,
|
|
Worry,
|
|
And anxiety... Anxiousness
|
|
|
|
- Mike Santora, 12 December 1985 -
|
|
|
|
|
|
...until next month...
|