76 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
76 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
,...
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""""""""""" $$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$bxxP&$$&P """""""""""
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$$$$ $$$$$$ T$$$$ $$$$P T$$$$
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$$$"""""" " """" $$$$$$ "T&$bxxd$&P" "T&$bxx$$$$$' " """"""$$$
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""" """""" """
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ggg "M&M Conspiracy Theory" ggg
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$$$ by -> JoJo, The Indiana Circus Boy $$$
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$$$ $$$
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$$$ [ HOE E-Zine #995 -- 12/25/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$
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`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
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About 3 weeks ago I was watching T.V, I have to give a three day
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presentation in school about how advertisements effect what people buy,
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so I have been paying a lot more attention to the commercials that I see.
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Anyway, I was watching T.V and I saw one of those M&M commercials that
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had those M&M's eating M&M's, which was disturbing on its own, but I will
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get back to that. The guy from Seinfeld, Puddy, comes in and talks to
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them. At the end of the commercial in the top right corner of the screen
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there are pictures of Regular M&M's, Peanut M&M's, and The New Crunchy
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M&M's, which suck. Then I was thinking, wait a second, isn't there
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peanut butter and almond M&M's. This made me wonder where the peanut
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butter and almond M&M's were during all of this. I was disturbed by
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this, I am sure that most people do not realize what a big problem of
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discrimination this is. Why do only the plain M&M's, Peanut M&M's, and
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Crunchy M&M's get all of the attention?
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Also, another question that I will attempt to answer in this
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report is what is, the reason that the M&M company decided to replace the
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light brown M&M? There is one more thing that I will try to make sense
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of and that is, if you remember back about last year there were all of
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those M&M's commercials that had that guy from Drew Carry on it eating
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M&M's and the M&M guy said "Can't you put yourself in my position for a
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change," all disgusted that someone is eating another M&M. But a year
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later the M&M's morals have changed so much that they think it is OK to
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devour their own kind.
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First off I only have one explanation about the anti Peanut butter
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and Almond M&M campaign going on. The other M&M's had to have someone or
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something to operate the machines, so they are stuck doing all of the
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grunt work that none of the other M&M's want to do. I still do not know
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why the crunchy M&M is in the in crowd, he is the newest and he just kind
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of jumped right in. I think that the Plain M&M's and the Peanut M&M's
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needed a favor so they went to the crunchy M&M and said "Listen, we need
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a favor, the Peanut Butter and the Almond M&M's are out-selling us like
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we are nothing, you need to be the new hip thing so they are put out of
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the picture." The Plain M&M's and the Peanut M&M's were actually
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planning to get rid of the Crunchy M&M's once the plan was over, but the
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Crunchy was just to popular, for reasons I cannot explain, so they had to
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keep him in because the M&M stock grew and we all know that M&M's are all
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into making money.
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Now about the light brown M&M, why did they think that they needed
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to replace it? If I have a sister or brother that I do not want I cannot
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just say to the rest of my family "Lets vote on which one of these three
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people I want to replace him/her with." What is the person going to
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think when they are just replaced so easily? I personally would want to
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destroy the new person for taking over my spot. But why would they
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replace a classic? They thought it would be the new hip thing to do.
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The other possibility was that the light brown M&M was the "Uncle No One
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Wants To Talk About." It may have been a raging alcoholic but still we
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can not just throw away people with problems, we need to help them.
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The last and final thing I need to discuss is why did the morals
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of the M&M's change so much in the past year. You want to know the
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answer, who is new to the M&M family this past year. Yup you guessed it
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the Crunchy M&M. It has corrupted the system. It has had such a strong
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influence on the others and it can only get stronger. They let this
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devil into their home and into their place of work and it has completely
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destroyed everything that the M&M name used to stand for, good family
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values.
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Well as you can see, the new crunchy M&M has destroyed the M&M
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name. They are no longer sweet and nice but mean, moral-less, and
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crooked sneak thieves.
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[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #995, BY JOJO - 12/25/99 ]
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