60 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
60 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
,...
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$$$$
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$$$$T""P$$$ba, ,gd&P""T&bg. ,gd&P""T&bg.
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ggggggggggg $$$$ $$$$$b d$$$$ $$$$b d$$$$ $$$$$b ggggggggggg
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""""""""""" $$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$bxxP&$$&P """""""""""
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$$$$ $$$$$$ T$$$$ $$$$P T$$$$
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$$$"""""" " """" $$$$$$ "T&$bxxd$&P" "T&$bxx$$$$$' " """"""$$$
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""" """""" """
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ggg "J Paws and the Sad" ggg
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$$$ by - Uberfizzgig $$$
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$$$ $$$
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$$$ [ HOE E-Zine #962 -- 12/16/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$
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`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
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It was a Thursday morning in Cleveland. Everyone expected it to be
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a regular Thursday morning, even though there was no advertising allowed
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today. If there's one thing Drew Carrey did as mayor that would be
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remembered, it was to ban all advertising on Thursday. This opened up all
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the local stations to re-air old radio broadcasts of football games the
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Browns won. But even with all this, people were expecting it to be a
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regular Thursday. They were eating their eggs and cereals, and listening
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to the garbage trucks hoisting the dumpsters outside their apartment
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buildings.
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The noise of garbage always woke up J Paws, not because the
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process of urban garbage collection by machine was noisy, but because J
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Paws was not quite sleepy enough to remain in bed anymore by the time
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things could be heard. Today however, J Paws heard a different sound. A
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subtle rumbling behind the noise of garbage. It was going to be a great
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Thursday.
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Last night at the bar, J Paws put $20 in the Jukebox and selected
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all the songs no one in the bar other than himself liked. It took awhile
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to select all those songs, and he had to leave before the first one was
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over. He was that kind of person, but unlike other people of that type, J
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Paws had recently thrown 1000 octopus high up into the stratosphere.
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They'd be in orbit as long as the Jukebox played, or as long as their
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velocity held. J Paws wasn't sure if it was music or physics that
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governed the octopus, but he was sure it was the Sad that governed him.
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The Sad is what made J Paws do all those little things. Because of
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the Sad, he would save up all the extra packets of taco sauce and catsup
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he'd get from Taco Bell and McDonalds. They could be used later, and it
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was wasteful to just throw them out. There would be enough time to count
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them all and see if any were missing in his sleep. The amount and
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position of condiments was more important to J Paws than when they had
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been used, and he could only remember them in his sleep. Sleep that night
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went well again for J Paws, and waking up went even better. It was
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Thursday, and while the garbage trucks were hoisting the dumpsters, 1000
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octopus rained down on the city of Cleveland. This Thursday was
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different. J Paws was governed by the octopus now. That night he would
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remember using up all his condiments.
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THE END.
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Author's note: this story contains NO metaphors or symbolism.
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[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #962, BY UBERFIZZGIG - 12/16/99 ]
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