95 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
95 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
,...
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$$$$
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$$$$T""P$$$ba, ,gd&P""T&bg. ,gd&P""T&bg.
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ggggggggggg $$$$ $$$$$b d$$$$ $$$$b d$$$$ $$$$$b ggggggggggg
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""""""""""" $$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$bxxP&$$&P """""""""""
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$$$$ $$$$$$ T$$$$ $$$$P T$$$$
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$$$"""""" " """" $$$$$$ "T&$bxxd$&P" "T&$bxx$$$$$' " """"""$$$
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""" """""" """
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ggg "Teledruggies" ggg
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$$$ by -> Trimmerhead $$$
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$$$ $$$
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$$$ [ HOE E-Zine #928 -- 12/01/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$
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`"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'
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The newest thing to reach the minds of the few. Everyone has
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their own opinions of the Teletubbies. Here is what I see happening to
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those fuzzy things in the years to come.
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They are the same characters, but changed quite a bit, each in
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their own way. There is Stinky Drinky (SD for short), La-La, Joe, and
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Tipsy. This is their story.
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An introduction to the characters is necessary.
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Stinky Drinky (SD), is the most experienced of the group is heavy
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into alcohol. SD's favorite drink is a Manhattan. If there is no So-Co
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for a Manhattan, SD turns to Budweiser. After a hard day of hard work
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and playing with the others, SD likes to sit and and drink as much as he
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can.
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La-La on the other hand is more of a drug user. Your normal
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flunky, La-la has a readily available supply of dope, ludes, and
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mushrooms. Depending on the mood, the drugs are constantly working.
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When feeling tired, La-La hits the crack pipe or pops a few Cylert for an
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extra kick. To keep from getting hungry, La-La has an endless supply of
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Toast and Jam. That was from a lawsuit, which will be described later.
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Joe, La-La's partner in crime, is a drug user like La-La but with
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a passion for the harder stuff. Joe once had the same habits as La-La,
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but has recently moved on. After watching "fear and loathing in las
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vegas", Joe is currently in search of ether. Mescaline, horse
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tranquilizers, and qualudes are easy to get but ether is very difficult
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to find.
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Tipsy if by far the oddest. Not addicted to the more conventional
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stimuli, Tipsy has a very unique method of getting a high. After years
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of constant masturbation and self-humiliation, Tipsy came out of the
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closet and became a submissive for a sado-masochistic dominatrix named
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Yes-Yes. Tipsy is still liked by the others but they tend to keep their
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backs against the wall to prevent any "funny stuff".
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The Story
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=========
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One day in Teledruggie land, while everyone was doing their own
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thing, whether getting sloshed, stoned, or spanked in Tipsy's case, La-La
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had an idea. It isn't often that La-La gets and idea. The others wanted
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to know what the idea was the idea was being withheld from them. La-La
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was scheming how to use the Whirly Burley's power to grow more drugs.
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The mushroom supply was running low, especially where there are
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two hard core druggies chewing them up all day. The supplier hadn't been
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around in a while and La-La was getting upset.
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"man....my shrooms are almost gone.....that friggen
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psycho-super-slut bitch with the huge nose Yes-Yes must have take
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some...that.....that....oooh...ahhh...dah....bitch.(while taking a hit
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from a bong.)"
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La-La spends a few hours listening to Bob Marley while smoking
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some very exquisite herb labeled "kind herb". A few hours later and many
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many MANY tubby toasts later, La-La wakes up with a vicious craving for
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tubby custard. While walking to the custard container in the kitchen,
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the crack of the whip fills the air with noise. Hearing a moan and a
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cynical laugh, La-La realizes that it is just Tipsy in an afternoon
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ritual. Moving quickly past the screaming, the craving worsens but La-La
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is suddenly distracted. There is a trail of mushroom crumbs leading out
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the door. Following the crumbs, over the hills and far away, La almost
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faints at a most hideous sight.
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"oh shit.....heh...i need a hit..."
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The local rabbits have stolen the last of his weed and shrooms and
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are having a wild party. Rabbits tripping everywhere and some of them
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fornicating, well like the jack rabbits they are. More like rabbits
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jacked up on shrooms not knowing what to jump on first.
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La does end up passing out, but not of hunger or from the sight,
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but after joining in the fun, most of it anyway. Like most of the
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Teledruggies would, except for Tipsy, La stayed clear of the more
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"aggressive" rabbits.
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[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #928 - BY TRIMMERHEAD - 12/02/99 ]
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