75 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
75 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #878
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Info Commercials Are The Devil"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by CannibalButterfly
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 10/16/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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As I answered the door bell, I was shocked to find an ambulance
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vehicle and a paramedic in front of me.
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I was curious about why the paramedic had come, so I asked politely,
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"May I help you?"
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"Are you Mrs. Fletcher?"
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"Well," I said, "actually it's just Ms. Fletcher now."
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"We received a call in which you said you had fallen, but couldn't
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get up. Is that correct Ma'am?"
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"What the hell took you so long? I made that call over 3 years ago!"
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"Well, you see Ms. Fletcher, we received so many calls at the Medic-
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Alert station, that we were unable to answer each of them as quickly as we
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would have liked to. Instead, we put the patients on a waiting list."
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"In case it's not obvious to you, I have gotten up since the time I
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made that call and I no longer need your services."
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The paramedic then asked, "If you don't mind me asking, exactly how
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did you get up?"
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"If you must know, my husband helped me up when he got home."
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"That's nice to hear Ms. Fletcher."
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"No it isnt. Now, my marriage is ruined."
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"How did that happen?"
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"Well... My husband had come home early from work, got me on my feet,
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and then heard a strange noise, like someone moaning. It was my boyfriend
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making that noise. He was in the bathroom having chest pains. When my
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husband walked in there he saw my boyfriend and asked who he was. I tried
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lying to my husband by telling him it was a plumber who came to fix the
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toilet, but I could tell my his face that he didn't believe me. He then
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walked into the bedroom and saw the messed-up sheets, and the bladder
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control undergarments we so carelessly through off in the heat of passionate
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lust. My husband was so mad that he went into the kitchen and picked up an
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electric knife. He then tried to slice my boyfriend into small pieces.
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Luckily, the electric knife did not work because it was plugged into the
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clapper. After my husband found out about my affair, he divorced me. Now
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it's just Ms. Fletcher."
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The paramedic stood there in shock. "Uhm, I'm sorry that your
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marriage has ended, but since I'm here, do you have any problems which
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require medical attention?"
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"Now that you mention it, I do have some bunions which have been
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giving me a lot of pain."
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"Which medical insurance policy do you have?"
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"Medicare."
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"Medicare. Well then Ms. Fletcher, I'm sorry, but I cant help you.
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Goodbye."
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #878-BY: CANNIBALBUTTERFLY - 10/16/99 ]
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