76 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
76 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #854
|
|
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
|
|
888 888 888 888 888 "Blush"
|
|
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
|
|
888 888 888 888 888 " by Rhea
|
|
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 9/28/99
|
|
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
|
|
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
|
|
Listen, listen, listen. Listen! Because I want you to! To what?
|
|
To listen!
|
|
|
|
But how do you do that?
|
|
|
|
I don't know.
|
|
|
|
I would like to see the gray color of the sky that glows, glows,
|
|
glows right before a violent storm. I would like to listen to way the air
|
|
feels thick with anticipation, I would like to see the warm smell of the
|
|
breeze before the storm. I would like to be the storm. Or just hear it.
|
|
|
|
But then I'd have to listen.
|
|
|
|
They said, "Prince Charming doesn't exist", but then I met him, and I
|
|
knew I shouldn't have listened to them. A few hours later he wasn't so
|
|
charming anymore, but still the animals outside my window look like the ones
|
|
in Snow White almost. Those cute little bunnies are hopping next to my car
|
|
on the gravel driveway. Then they ran away. Prince Charming faded away,
|
|
but for those few glorious moments I was in a fairy tale and even the smell
|
|
of his strong, cheap cologne made me blush. It was nice. We played
|
|
hangman. He existed. For a little while. So they were wrong. Even though
|
|
he doesn't exist anymore, he did then, and so in my memory he still exists.
|
|
|
|
Funny how you can say the word "exist" so many times until finally it
|
|
starts losing its meaning. I'm glad I'm not an existentialist, because then
|
|
I'd have to go around and say, "I'm an existentialist" and besides from
|
|
having people give me looks like, "Aren't you a cute little pseudo-
|
|
intellectual!" I might lose all the meaning to the word "exist" and be
|
|
afraid I didn't exist anymore. I don't know what I'd do then.
|
|
|
|
Sometimes I think a phrase in my mind, and then it echoes and echoes
|
|
in my mind until I say to myself, "Stop thinking that same phrase over and
|
|
over again!" I bought some nice books at the used book store today, they
|
|
smell nice. I like the smell of old books. I wish I were an old book.
|
|
|
|
One of the books I got was "Crime and Punishment" because the way the
|
|
Russian names roll around in my thoughts pleases me very much, and if I say
|
|
the names out loud their sounds please me even more. I love the way the
|
|
accents are placed, I love the way the names sound, with their thick vowels
|
|
and consonants. The sound is so similar to Lithuanian names, I guess,
|
|
that's why I like them. My name is Lithuanian. It's pronounced "Ahhh-zhoh-
|
|
lahss" and the "zh" sound is the same sound in "Dr. Zhivago." Kind of like
|
|
a "sh" sound, (as in "shit"!) but different - the sound is heavier, courser.
|
|
I think there might be some vocal sound in it. I don't know. I haven't
|
|
listened enough. I'm saying it over and over again my lips as I write this,
|
|
"Zh, zh, zh, zh." "Ahhh-zhoh-lahss." Listen!
|
|
|
|
It's a great book -- I didn't just buy it for the names -- though I
|
|
don't really trust translations. I guess I've read other translated things,
|
|
and Madame Bovary's brilliance managed to shine through the hazy vague mist
|
|
of a translated text, but still I felt unsatisfied. I felt like I was so
|
|
close to poetry, like I was reaching my hand out eagerly to grasp it, but at
|
|
the last moment my hand would stretch no farther and the translation
|
|
wouldn't move any closer to me and the small gap of emptiness was impassable
|
|
and I wished I knew French fluently so I could devour it in its true form.
|
|
The storm is brewing -- or will it be one of those storms so common in the
|
|
drought, the ones that are about to burst in a rain storm yet wimp out at
|
|
the last minute and disperse into blue skies again? -- and I'm being
|
|
entirely too melodramatic. But I thought with this melodrama that maybe you
|
|
would listen. Did you? Are you? Excellent!
|
|
|
|
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #854 - WRITTEN BY: RHEA - 9/28/99 ]
|