115 lines
6.0 KiB
Plaintext
115 lines
6.0 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #838
|
|
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8 "I Do Not Actually Hate Women,
|
|
888 888 888 888 888 But I Will Pretend To For
|
|
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 The Sake Of This File"
|
|
888 888 888 888 888 " by Quarex
|
|
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 9/20/99
|
|
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
|
|
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
|
|
The name of this file really says it all. Yes, I blamed women 100%
|
|
for my inability to get a date from 1993 to early 1998. However, after I
|
|
suddenly wised up, thanks to actually getting a girlfriend, I realized that
|
|
I only really had myself to blame. Well, not specifically myself, but
|
|
rather the evil curse which permeates into every area of my life which deals
|
|
with women. So, I no longer say I hate women, as I do not, and rather like
|
|
them.
|
|
|
|
That said, there are a few things which, as always, infuriate me, and
|
|
they deal specifically only with women. Without further ado, here we
|
|
fucking go.
|
|
|
|
** WOMEN LIE ALL THE TIME: HERE IS PROOF **
|
|
|
|
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about virginity, and
|
|
the fact that we were quite frankly probably the only two Seniors who were
|
|
also virgins on the entire UIUC campus, at least barring people who are
|
|
abstaining until they marry the person they have been dating their whole
|
|
life, or something fucking retarded like that.
|
|
|
|
This conversation eventually led to his recount of a party he had
|
|
been to a few weeks previous, and how the group discussion led to the topic
|
|
of virginity. Some girl suggested that male virgins are really quite
|
|
attractive, and very appealing. All the others agreed. Clearly, they
|
|
reasoned, there is something inherently pure and endearing about a male
|
|
virgin, and therefore girls will be interested in being with them, and
|
|
presumably being the first to share in that "wonderful" experience of sex.
|
|
|
|
Okay, yeah, SURE, WHAT IN THE MOTHER-FUCK EVER. I HAVE NEVER IN MY
|
|
FUCKING LIFE HEARD A BIGGER BUNCH OF FUCKING BULLSHIT. EVERY GODDAMN
|
|
FUCKING TIME the fact that I am a virgin IS BROUGHT UP, aside from perhaps
|
|
the odd "Well, that is no surprise" comments, the only real feedback I get
|
|
is GUYS telling me that it is NO BIG DEAL, that it is COOL that I am a
|
|
virgin.
|
|
|
|
Okay. Fucking great. It is cool that I am a virgin. Yes, actually,
|
|
I feel that it is. However, looking at the faces of the girls portrays a
|
|
completely different fucking picture. Those that are not amused to the
|
|
point of almost laughing out loud at me are clearly disinterested in the
|
|
subject anyway.
|
|
|
|
You know what women want? Not a virgin, I can tell you that. From
|
|
everything I have ever fucking seen, women want a guy who has not only
|
|
fucked all of her friends, and then bragged about it, but contracted god
|
|
knows what sexually transmitted diseases in the process. Time after time, I
|
|
see the same pattern. Girls could give a fuck less how many people a guy
|
|
has been with, as long as he will also be with them. If a guy has never had
|
|
sex at all, though, you might as well just consider him dead in the fucking
|
|
water, because no woman is going to give him the fucking time of day as far
|
|
as considering him for a relationship goes.
|
|
|
|
God fucking dammit. Fuck.
|
|
|
|
** THE OTHER THING THAT INFURIATES ME **
|
|
|
|
I let my guard down for the first time in mid-August, just before my
|
|
birthday. I somehow let two girls convince me that they were interested in
|
|
me as a human being, and were interested in starting some kind of
|
|
relationship with me. Well, the first one essentially said that she was
|
|
not yet over her last ex-boyfriend, which was wholly believable, and
|
|
furthermore could not date yet as a result. Okay, I could deal with that.
|
|
|
|
So the second one and I start dating. Everything is great for the
|
|
first, well, day. After two days have gone by, she is already punching me
|
|
if I try to touch her, and spending more time talking to anyone but me.
|
|
Needless to say, I call it off after five days total. Immediately
|
|
thereafter, she goes back to treating me the way she always had, very
|
|
lovingly, and always enjoying our time together.
|
|
|
|
Okay, so naturally I say, WHAT IN THE MOTHER FUCK IS FUCKING GOING
|
|
THE FUCK ON HERE? I can deal with it, though, because all of her
|
|
explanations made pretty decent sense.
|
|
|
|
Then, I find out that the first girl was completely lying about being
|
|
interested in me to "spare my feelings." I DO NOT NEED YOUR GODDAMN MOTHER
|
|
FUCKING PITY, YOU FUCKING WHORE.
|
|
|
|
Then, my recently ex-girlfriend immediately starts dating the guy she
|
|
has been lusting after for ages, and does things with him that she swore she
|
|
would break up with me if I tried (kissing in public). You goddamn fucking
|
|
bitch. I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU. ALL OF YOU FUCKING WOMEN. YOU CAN ALL
|
|
GO THE FUCK TO HELL AND FUCKING DIE. I AM A FUCKING FANTASTIC GUY, YOU ALL
|
|
FUCKING TELL ME THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME. SO FUCKING ACT LIKE IT, YOU
|
|
GODDAMN FUCKING TANGERINES.
|
|
|
|
I am never, ever, ever again letting myself second-guess my
|
|
instincts: If a girl tells me she is interested in dating me, she is LYING.
|
|
SHE IS LYING. IF SHE WANTS ME, SHE WILL FUCKING KISS ME OR SOMETHING, NOT
|
|
TRY TO RATIONALIZE TO HERSELF THAT SHE CAN POSSIBLY ACCEPT THE THEORETICAL
|
|
IDEA OF THE OFF-CHANCE THAT THE IDEA OF A RELATIONSHIP COULD HAVE SOME SHRED
|
|
OF A POSSBILITY OF WORKING OUT, MAYBE.
|
|
|
|
[-----]
|
|
|
|
I am so glad that I can say I am not actively going to try to get
|
|
another girlfriend for the rest of the millennium.
|
|
|
|
Making me the eight trillionth person today to make a joke like that.
|
|
|
|
Goodnight.
|
|
|
|
[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
|
|
[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #838 - WRITTEN BY: QUAREX - 9/20/99 ]
|