57 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
57 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #766
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "I'm Amazingly Horny Right Now"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Oscar Meyer Wilde III
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 7/28/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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OH MY GOD, I'm so fucking horny.
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I just want you to know, I'm stroking my cock. I type relatively
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well with one hand. Hopefully I can show somebody this impressive skill
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one day.
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Does that make you feel uncomfortable?
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I can't help it, really. I'm all lubed up right now, and completely
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ready to shoot my load. I have my designated masturbation sock in position
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and everything (I put a little red tomato sauce stain on it so I can
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identify it). Sometimes girls ask me if it's blood. They're so silly,
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isn't it?
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It took me a long time to get into the mood today, though. I'm so
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disgusted by these tame fucking internet perverts. Sometimes I just want
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to see a small child ramming his erect shaft into the end of an
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unsuspecting farm animal. I know it sounds like I'm being gratuitous, but
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I'm really not. It's just curiosity, you know. I like to know what
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stuff like that looks like. Is that really all that weird?
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Sometimes I look at my penis, with its huge bulging veins and the
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slightly-too-purple head, and I start to wonder what it's like to have a
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much larger penis. Like one of those super penises, that extend into the
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air like a flagpole. Wouldn't it be great to walk into a room with one of
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those? Wouldn't all the girls love me then? Still, my penis is okay.
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Really. It's not too bad. It gets the job done. That's all you really
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need, right?
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YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW ABSOLUTELY HORNY I AM.
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Maybe I should pull out some internet pornography and temporarily
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sate this raging beast (that's my penis), because I am not sure I can
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properly function until I do. Do you think I'm being too personal here?
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Like Woody Allen, I can't stop thinking about sex. Everything
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reminds me of it. When I go to the Opera and think about what the opera
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singers moans would be like if I fucked them. When I see gymnastics I
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wonder what kind of crazy sexual positions those women could go into.
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When I eat kelp I... uh....
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Celebrity porn is for pussies.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #766 - WRITTEN BY: OCMIII - 7/28/99 ]
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