69 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
69 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #757
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "It's Not the School's Fault"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Big Daddy Bill
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 7/24/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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No Fear.
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Above The Rim.
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Whoop-Ass.
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We all know what these are: t-shirt slogans that everybody wears yet
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nobody knows why. Why is it that we, as high school students, must wear
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these one-phrased shirts that society views as immoral, unconstitutional,
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and downright stupid? The answer is simple: we don't know.
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If you count the number of No Fear shirts in a common school, you'll
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get more than 60% of the student population wearing them. Yet if you ask
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every single one of them if they have a phobia, more than one will say
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something along the lines of "I'm afraid of the dark" or "Peaches frighten
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me terribly."
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Do we really believe these simple, everyday high school students are
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the best basketball players known to man, as their shirts claim they are?
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Why don't they just wear a shirt that says "I'm better than you at
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basketball" than something that says "It takes a big man to cry, it takes
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a bigger man to make him cry"? Does that really have anything to do with
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basketball? What that says to me is that they go around making giant men
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cry, and then they themselves grow to phenomenal heights once they have
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achieved it. That, my friend, is freakish.
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I remember when people would say, "I'm going to open up a can of
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Spam, the delicious, synthetic meat/pork/beef/turkey in a can." Now, it's
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"I'm gonna open up a can of Whoop-Ass on y'all." Just the thought of
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someone opening up a can of food and dumping it on people is disturbing
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enough, yet they named the product "Whoop-Ass"? And could someone please
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tell me where to get this stuff? I've only turned up empty-handed in my
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quest for a can of Whoop-Ass. Yes, I've even looked over at Aldi's.
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We all know that jobs are hard to find, and when we get one we like
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to let everyone know; but must we print it on our t-shirts? I've seen
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several men and women express that they were "Porn Stars," clearly written
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on the back of their shirts. I asked a female in the mall if she would
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like to star in her own flick. I, of course, would do the filming, and
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the, uh, co-starring... she didn't accept that idea very well.
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I say we should stop this t-shirt trend and start a new generation.
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We should have shirts that say what is really going on in the world today.
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Instead of No Fear, it should be something like "You made me wet my pants
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'cause I'm so gosh-darned scared." Instead of Above The Rim, it should be
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"My mom said I was good, so I'm going on that." I think you get my point.
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T-shirts like "I still live at home" and "I drive a Gremlin" should become
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popular, along with not "Porn Star" but "McDonalds" and "Hardees."
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Maybe one day we can be free of horrible, yet popular t-shirt
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slogans. What I'd like to see is... and I'm wiping a tear from my eye as I
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even think about this... a Central Alternative High Schjool Dragons Uniform!
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It could be purple and gold, and we could have wing tips and coat tails and
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everything...!
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #757 - BY: BIG DADDY BILL - 7/24/99 ]
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