74 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
74 lines
3.5 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #705
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Uno International"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Rhea and OzAdrian
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 7/1/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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Rain pounded against the tin roof. Eyes flashed angrily around the
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table.
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"Out!" the Russian screamed.
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"Damnations! I'm out as well!" exclaimed Bronson, slapping his hand
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on the table. Uno cards scattered all over the surface.
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"You can't drop out, no one has one Uno card yet!" cried Friedrich
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the German angrily. "Don't you know how to play the game?!"
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Viktor, the Russian, shoved a frustrated fist into the pocket of his
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coat and pulled out a flask of vodka. He took a drunken swig and slammed it
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onto the table. "Out…" he mumbled under his breath.
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Dominique popped over to the table and bent her face into the middle.
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"Cheese? Cigarettes?" she asked.
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"Ho, ho, ho, Dominique, ma chere," crooned Pierre, pulling her onto
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his lap. She threw her platter of cheese and cigarettes across the table
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and began kissing Pierre furiously. Pierre's black beret fell carelessly to
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the floor.
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"Aaaagh!" screamed Louie, the Canadian, suddenly. "You got CHEESE on
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my JERSEY!". As he opened his mouth to grunt in anger again, vacancies
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between his teeth could be seen. Louie flipped over the table in a rage and
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the remainder of the Uno cards fluttered to the floor. "Screw this Uno
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game," he said, "I'm missing my hockey game. I hope you have fun with your
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cheese, eh?" He grabbed his hockey stick and left, slamming the door behind
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him.
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Jake put a rough-skinned hand to his face and looked up in a pathetic
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look of pain under his cowboy hat. "Damn Canadian hit me with the damned
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Uno table!" he cried angrily. "I'm too good for that, God damn it! I'm an
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American!". He turned his head and spit an angry glob of tobacco juice onto
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the floor. "Hey Freddy," he said to the German, "Can you gimme some of
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those Band-Aid things? I'm bleeding like a bull."
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"Nein!", screamed the German. He stared at Jake, then after a few
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seconds, seemed to regain a thought. "Friedrich! Friedrich!" he corrected
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the arrogant American finally, "Mein name is Freidrich!"
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Friedrich made pig noises at Jake and stormed out of the room to get
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a Band-Aid from the bathroom. The American and the Russian laughed
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genuinely and drunkenly at the crazy antics of the German. The two French
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were too busy grunting and kissing to notice.
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"Friedrich, Friedrich!" Viktor said in mockery of the German. He
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chuckled and took another swig of Vodka. He then proceeded to throw up all
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over Pierre and Dominique, then passed out on the floor, just as Freidrich
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returned with the Band-Aid.
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He threw the Band-Aid at Jake and yelled, "Heil Hitler!" then marched
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back to his spot.
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Bronson, the Englishman, looked confused and startled at this
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comment. "Well, well. No need to get your knickers in a twist!" he said,
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shaking his head. "Bloody foreigners! They're nothing but a bunch of
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bums."
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #705 - BY: RHEA AND OZADRIAN - 5/9/99 ]
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