124 lines
7.5 KiB
Plaintext
124 lines
7.5 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #668
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "The Only Time I Got Action"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by XxX_Droo7
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/31/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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For the sake of this story, I shall refer to everyone involved with
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pseudo names. Let it also be known that I've never had any physical
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contact, other than hugs, with a girl before and after this happened.
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It all started one June evening about two years ago. I had just
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finished off a college course I had taken that day. I was pumped up and in
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a good mood and my good friend Harvey dopped me a line and let me know he
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was gonna have a little somethin' somethin' goin' on that night. You know,
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a small party type deal.
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So I roll up to Harvey's joint in my ghetto cruiser and step out
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ready to get down that night. Of course I was the first to arrive. I
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usually am. Next Rose, Eric, their friend Kristen and her sister Angelina.
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I never met Kristen or Angelina until that night. I gave them the once over
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and decided they were cute girls. Normally I would try to get some action
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from any cute girl not attatched to anybody. But that night I decided to
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keep it real. I was in way too good of a mood to be let down. It wasn't
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like I expected good lookin' wimins to be there so I wore punk panties.
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Normally I throw on a pair of boxers so if I ever did get freaky with a
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girl, I wouldn't look gay in the process.
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The story continues! Not long after, my two buddies Keith and Chuck
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showed up in the Gold Volvo Wagon Pimp 2000. We all wound up on Harvey's
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back patio drinkin'. Well, everyone was drinkin' except me. I abstain from
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those activities. So we were all sitting in a circle playing some lame ass
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game I could careless about. I was too busy with dirty thoughts in my
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mind. Anyhow, I was sitting across from Angelina. It seemed to me that she
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was being very flirtatious. I brushed that thought aside, though, because I
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always think that and it always turns out to be not true. Maybe about a
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half hour later, Harvey throws out his trademark line, "Hey, I got some
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lingerie. You girls should model for us!". Perfect timing for Harvey
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because everyone was nice and liquored up for the event and lacked the
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better judgement to decline such an offer. So we all headed upstairs to the
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secret lingerie cache.
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At this point, I have Angelina on my hip. I'm just playing the role
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because I didn't think anything serious was to come. We walked into the
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lingerie room and she says "Pick something out for me." At this point, I'm
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totally stumped. There was a suitcase full of sexy clothing, which I know
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nothing about, on the floor and some chick that was being big time flirty
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with me wanted to pick something out for her. So looked everything over
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real quick and saw something blue. I reached down and grabed it. "Try this
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one." She takes the garment and gets changed in the bathroom. Turns out it
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was a long blue nightgown and it fit her perfectly. I thought "Niiiiiice!".
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We all soon wound up in Harvey's bedroom chillin' on his bed.
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Angelina was layin' on my lap lookin' up at me with that drunk look of "do
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me here, do me now I do allow!" plastered on her face. I couldn't ignore
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this. It was obvious she wanted to hook up with me. I couldn't kiss her
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there in front of anyone. I had no experience and I would have had to put
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up with everyone's reaction. I had to get her alone and away from everyone.
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I don't remember how, but everyone began to migrate downstairs into the
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kitchen. This was my chance, so I brought her into the living room. No one
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was in there and the lights were out. I put her on the couch and dropped
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Money Mark into the cd player. I sat beside and busted a move. It was on.
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We were makin' out like there was no tomorrow.
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We must have been about ten minutes into what we were doin' and I
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could here everyone else in the kitchen wonderin' where I went. I heard
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Keith peek around the corner and gasp. He ran back into the kitchen and
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gave everyone the low down on what was goin' on. Everyone came in and
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looked and started sayin' the most embarrassing things that could ever be
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said. I wish they could have been cool about it and said the stuff in
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another room out of earshot. I totally ignored their existance and went on
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with what I was doin'.
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Before I continue, I need to let you in on a conversation Keith and I
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had a few months prior. He was giving me some tips and tricks on the topic
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of muff diving. He said to me, "You need to find out if she's clean down
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there first. To do this you need to get your finger inside of her and then
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smell it, but you need to play it off." He suggested drawing my fingers
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across my face in some sort of a yawn or reach. Ok, back to the story..
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The one thing I remember most was the nasty taste of liquor in her
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mouth. I started to gag on it. I tried to disguise it as much as possible,
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but I was getting ready to throw up. I had to get out of there and take a
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break. My friend Chuck sat down next to me and I started talkin' to him.
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And man his breath reeked of alcohol! I was about to throw up all over the
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place from talkin' to him so I got up and started to run outta the room.
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Keith grabs me and wants to know where I was goin'. All I could utter were
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the words "I'm gonna throw up." He's still holdin onto me and says, "She
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stinks that bad?" I couldn't help but laff at this.
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I went to Shoprite to buy some breath mints in the hopes I could get
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Angelina to have one and to rid myself of that taste of alcohol. I offered
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her the mints several times, but she wouldn't take one. So I had no choice
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but to deal with it. So we continued on with our make out sesion.
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Somehow we wound up on Harvey's bed. Hours and hours went by. To
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tell you the truth, I was getting kind of bored. Chuck made his infamous
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appearance when he burst into the room wearing lingerie and screaming that
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he was all high on flour and pretzels that he snorted in the kitchen. I
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never went much farther than kissing with Angelina. We dry fucked a little
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bit. She started to moan a little bit from it so I figured she dug it and
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kept up with that sort of thing. I was gonna try to get her off that way,
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but I couldn't. It was very abusive on my wang and I eventually went limp.
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At that point I said I was done. Which probably wasn't the best choice of
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words at the time. But now that I think about it, she probably thought I
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came in my pants. Oh well.
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I never took any of my clothes off the entire time. Not even my
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shoes. I recall her saying that she'd never done anything like this before.
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I figure she meant she never hooked up with someone she didn't know. I
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screamed with laughter in my head when she said it. Little did she know
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what my situation in the whole deal was.
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Well, that was the only time I ever got action. The closest I ever
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came since then is the Sears circular that comes in the Sunday paper.
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Sigh.. Woe is me! Woe is me! =)
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #668 - WRITTEN BY: XXX_DROO7 - 5/31/99 ]
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