79 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
79 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #667
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "I've Never Met Elmo"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Reflecks
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/31/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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The Scene: the front of a kitchen in modern suburbia. there is a
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slight 50's feel to the house. the curtains here are drawn slightly open,
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and the audience can see the trees and the bright, sunny sky through the
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window. the mother of the household, laura, a young looking woman in her
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thirties, is pouring cocoa into a mug while a microwave is heating water.
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enter willy, a five year old boy, running in from the door at left which,
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we see, has been left open.
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willy : MOMMY! guess what mommy moymmoymyo!@ymym8eyur^&%!&@#
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mother: Whaaat! Take your shoes off, stop running in the house!
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[willy runs up the stairs. we hear two loud thumps, then see
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willy run down the stairs, shoeless.]
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mother: Did you want some cocoa?
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willy : GUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESS WHAAAAAT!@3!6236741
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mother: You found another snail?
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willy : nooOoOOOOOOO, my teacher asked me to be in the school, um, thing!
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mother: What school thing? The pageant?
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willy : yeah! she liked my poem so im going to sing that she said,
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she told me!
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[willy runs back up the stairs. we hear a door slam, then willy
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runs back down the stairs again, paper in hand.]
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mother: What's this, is this your poem?
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willy : yeah read it! reeead itttt@!#!#!5234527
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mother: Okay. [she takes it, reads it, then hands it back.]
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mother: That's very good, willy! Now, can you sing it?
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willy : okay!@#
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[lights dim, spotlight on willy appears. willy is full front.]
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ive never met elmo,
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ive never gone to his raves.
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ive never danced his funky dance
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and never seen him shave.
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elmo and the fur he has,
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red and fluffy, too,
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is always perfectly random and straight,
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but never ever blue.
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see, if this elmo puppet i know
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were to suddenly die,
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i know who would take his place,
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it'd be "Smiley, Guy".
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Thank you, Thank you,
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kinda like Bob Barker,
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his head moves, his chin does not,
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i think this makes him smarter.
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big bird was a bit of a fruit,
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though i did really like him lots.
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standing in his big, feather suit
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im sure it got quite hot.
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ive never met elmo,
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ive never met big bird.
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im sure if oscar were my friend,
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id be his number one tu.. wait
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[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #667 - WRITTEN BY: REFLECKS - 5/31/99 ]
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