66 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
66 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #660
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "God Spake"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Kreid
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/22/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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"Hey, what's up, you've reached Billy's house, I'm not here so leave
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a message and I'll get back to you later, man. See-ya."
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"-beep-"
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"Hey, what's up, Billy this is God. I've been worried about you
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lately but I guess it's good that you're not home alone right now because
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what I wanted to tell you was that your entire life is going to climax at
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this moment, coming up... right now. I hope you're some place getting
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drunk or laid, because it's all pretty much downhill from this point.
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Well, that's about it. I'll get in touch with you again if something
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important happens. Otherwise, see-ya later I guess."
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"-beep-"
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The room fell silent and it remained that way for a few minutes.
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Silence was definitely the natural state of Billy's apartment. Comfortable
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silence, mind you, not the other kind. It was the way Billy had gone
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through pretty much all of his life so far.
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"FLUSH."
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Billy walked out of the bathroom with an enormous smile on his
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face.
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"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... yeah. There's really nothing quite like a
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good shit, is there, old buddy?" Billy was speaking to the television. It
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wasn't on. It rarely was.
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Billy didn't feel like hanging out that night. Everything had gone
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well enough for him. He could go to sleep and not feel guilty about it.
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He talked to his apartment:
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"God, what a GREAT shit."
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Billy sat in his chair in front of the blank television screen.
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Five minutes later, he was asleep.
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Billy lived one of the happiest lives any man had ever lived. Then
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he went to hell because he was a sinner and he never answered when God
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called.
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In hell, Billy lives pretty much the same life, except he has a
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roommate. And if you're ever in Denville, New Jersey, put your ear to the
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ground, because you'll hear it. Screams from below, wailing, "NOOOO!!!!!!"
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There is a lesson to be learned through all of this...
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For God's sake, never share with a room with a black man. Under any
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circumstances. They shit ten times a day and their shit smells horrible
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and they fuck loudly and shamelessly. Without sheets.
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[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #660 - WRITTEN BY: KREID - 5/22/99 ]
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