76 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
76 lines
3.8 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #618
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Help for Those in Need"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by Twister
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 5/9/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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N'sync fans are swarming over the earth. Scientists predict that
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by the year 2000 75% of the population will love N'sync. The other 25%
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will have gone into hiding by then. HOE really needs to start a
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revolution. We must help those poor little teeny-boppers. They are
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ruining themselves, and poisoning our minds. For the love of all that is
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holy, I live in utah! There is no escape from those crappy boy groups. I
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can no longer listen to the radio safely. Please, join my crusade, invade
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their chatrooms, message boards and convert them. Offer them my 12 step
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program:
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1. Throw away all magazines containing the afore mentioned boy
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groups.
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2. Redecorate your room, chances are it's plastered with their
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posters.
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3. Discard any clothing bearing their trademarks or pictures.
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4. Withdraw your membership from their fan-clubs.
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5. Record over any tapes containing their appearances, interviews,
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etc.
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6. Your halfway there, just don't tape anything else, or buy
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anything containing the dreaded boy groups.
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7. When they come on the radio or tv, turn the channel. If you
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live in Utah and there is no escape, turn the radio/tv OFF.
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8. If you live with a fellow fan, who does not want to be
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rehabilitated, move out immediately.
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9. You will experience a withdrawal, when you start to experience
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shakes, chills, headaches, and panic, you are in withdrawal.
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Head off to the wilderness with a bottle of Mad Dog, and payote,
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so you can be cleansed spiritually of all the demons. And so
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you are too intoxicated to experience anything but a hangover.
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10. Listen to 12 hours of music. And no, N'sync does not qualify
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to be called music. Some good choices are: Shawn Mullins,
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Beth Orton, Lauren Hill, Wyclef Jean, Busta Rhymes, Garbage,
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Sheryl Crowe, Fiona Apple, and Korn. Listen until you no longer
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feel the need to abuse your ears with N'Sync.
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11. Help others. Don't be aggressive, yet, that is step 12.
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Kindly point out other sounds to listen to. Change their cd's
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often with the approved of music. Change radio stations
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often. Be kind, but firm. Your friends are in a delicate
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condition but, THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!
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12. Join the crusade. Invade chatrooms, get into arguments,
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debates, be aggressive. E-mail this message to everyone you
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know. You are recovered, but if a relapse should happen follow
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#9, and this time take the good music with you, 2 bottles of
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Mad Dog, and stay for 2 weeks.
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Thank you very much. This fine list was written by Kyra Walton,
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who is now in professional therapy because of the inescapable N'Sync.
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"I tried to block it out, but then they started playing N'Sync over the PA
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system at school, and I didn't have anywhere to go." Kyra has always
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despised boy groups, and is progressing in a lifelong crusade against the
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evil messages they spread.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #618 - WRITTEN BY: TWISTER - 5/9/99 ]
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