86 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
86 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #584
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "THIS IS BULLSHIT"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " THIS IS QUAREX
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 4/21/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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[ DISCLAIMER - THIS ARTICLE USES THE DEFAULT PRONOUN SHE, SINCE I
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AM A HETEROSEXUAL TRYING TO SCORE WITH THOUSANDS OF GIRLS. ]
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"Hmm. You know, I never thought about it before, but that girl is
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really cute. Damn, she is smart, too. I really do like her. Sigh. . .
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too bad nothing ever goes my way."
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<I realize no guy can possibly imagine how a girl thinks, least of
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all me, but bear with me while I try to complete this scenario>
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"That guy is kinda cute. Maybe in a weird way, but he is kinda
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cute. . . and he always makes me laugh. I wonder if he has a girlfriend?
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Oh well. He probably does."
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So, Quarex, what is the point to this article? Simple. The point is,
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I am fairly certain that both men and women do indeed want relationships to
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a roughly equal degree. What they want out of them may be vastly
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different, but I cannot imagine the basic psychological and physiological
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need to have and to hold can be all that different between the sexes.
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Granted, spend a few weeks hanging out with me and you would think that
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girls want nothing more from guys than to hug them and kiss them on the
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cheek all the time, but this is not totally about me (only 99% about me).
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The above scenario represents a situation that is all too entirely
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possible, at least to normal people, who have lives vaguely similar to
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those represented on _My So Called Life_. My life is actually more similar
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to _The Simpsons_, so such situations may still happen, but I am certain to
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never notice them if they do occur. So, since I have already established
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that men and women both probably want something at least quasi-meaningful,
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why are situations like the above allowed to occur without the parties
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clearly expressing their interest in one another?
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Just think how much more wonderful the lives of both of the people
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above would be if, through some stroke of luck, they both suddenly got an
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incredible amount of guts, and each told the other what they were thinking?
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Suddenly, brief awkwardness aside, the dating possibility would open up,
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and it would go from wondering what it would be like if someone liked you,
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to realizing that someone does like you enough to try dating you.
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This might be elementary to all of you bastards, since all h0e writers
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aside from me are easily able to achieve a relationship. But think about
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it. How often do you think about possibly being together with someone you
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just know casually, or barely at all? Why not just go fucking tell the
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person what you are thinking, and hope that he or she is thinking the same
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thing? Worst case scenario, he or she thinks you are a freak, and stops
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talking to you. If he or she thinks that way after learning your thoughts,
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would you really have wanted to think that way about him or her in the
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first place? In hindsight: NO! So next fucking time you see that guy or
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girl in your English class who catches your eye and never lets it go, just
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say "HEY. I LIKE YOU. WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING." OR AT THE VERY LEAST, JUST
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START KISSING HER AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. SURELY NO MORE THAN FIVE YEARS IN
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JAIL CAN RESULT FROM THE HARASSMENT SUIT.
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This should be really applicable to absolutely everyone. I personally
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have felt this way about ten or so girls since last summer, and even I, the
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King of Cartoonish Rejection, thought at least two or three of the girls
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might have had a thing for me, however small. Hell, now I am even going to
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Prom with one of them*. You might think that means she would at some point
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have had a thought like the one above--but this is Quarex's life here,
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remember? Yeah. I suck.
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So next time you check out some guy or girl in one of your classes,
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just think to yourself. . . what have I got to fucking lose, huh?
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FUCK
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ADDENDUM:
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* I found out in the time between writing this article and releasing it
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that the girl who wants to go to Prom with me has, in fact, no interest
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in dating me. But DO NOT LET THAT DISCOURAGE YOU! *YOU* ARE NOT
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CURSED!
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[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #584 - WRITTEN BY: QUAREX - 4/21/99 ]
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