133 lines
6.5 KiB
Plaintext
133 lines
6.5 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #534
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Complete Crap"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 (or "I Had A Good Excuse"
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888 888 888 888 888 " or "I Was Stoned"
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o or "I Am Stoned")
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 by LilNilHil [3/27/99]
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"dude, i just figured out what i'm gonna write for h0e."
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hahaha, what the hell is...
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"i'm gonna write a story about.. today. and like, i'm just gonna
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say 'i woke up around 1 in morphine haze. went and played with the band.
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fucked up a bunch of things. met matt on his brake. met matt later at 9.
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matt tokes up yells i got the fear and then like.. just fucking runs.'
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for no reason."
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dude.. haha..
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"no wait.. like. i mean h0e is this thing on the internet that i
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write for.. well.. am supposed to.. write for every month i guess. but
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like i haven't written anything in. i guess a year or something. so the
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guy.. uh.. the guy tells me i have to write something in two weeks or i'm
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fucked."
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when was that?
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"like a week and a half ago."
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hahaha.. dude.. nah.. like. if I were gonna write about today.
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i'd be like. ah.. woke up. i ran my ass ta school. school ended. i ran
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my ass home cuz ryan was supposed to be there and we were gonna smoke some
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G. but.. ryan wasn't there. so i waited. and then i had to be at work at
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4. and i thought about how much it sucks to go to work sober. and then i
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thought about the sac i had. there were 4 buds in this sac. just one of
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which could get me stoned.. with four people there. so then i said "well,
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that's fucked up" and i started gettin' ready to smoke some weed.
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now... i coulda used the Deer... or i coulda used Jimmy, but i like
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a fat bowl so i decided to go old-school with a 2 liter bottle. haha..
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thing was like.. full to the top.. sittin there chuggin it. so, anyway, i
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pack all 4 buds, just for the hell of it. then i smoke half of it. But
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then! hahaha.. it.. what? what happened then. oh yeah. i had to go to
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work. so... i run my ass to work. fuckin' had to cross that thing over
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there... almost got hit. put my work clothes on in the middle of the
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road. almost got hit again. haha.
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then, like, i go to work. and the managers there, 'cept it's not like the
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bitch manager. or the lady manager. it's this big ape lookin'
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motherfucker. fuckin' asshole. dick. so, anyway, i'm like givin' people
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their food an shit. an like.. not payin' any attention, and the manager
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says, "go easy on the mashed potato's, matt," and i'm like, givin' people
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way too much mashed potato's i guess... cuz they have this cover.. for the
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plates. and they totally just jew you over cuz you can only fit in like
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really small amounts of food for these people. so the manager says
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something cuz i'm puttin mashed potato's where mashed potato's just don't
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fuckin' fit. so i put the big old spoon down and just throw some more on
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for this old lady. haha. then i had to work cash register. man. and
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that's what sucks about workin' at Boston Market... all the people there
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are like fuckin' gypsies about the brownies. i'm ringin' up this one
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bitches order and like, she says, "you didn't ask me if i wanted a brownie
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or not," and like, if i don't ask em. then they get one free.
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so i'm like.. "...what??"
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and then she says "you didn't ask me if i wanted a cookie or a
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brownie!" and then i tell her to go fuck off. ha! wait, no i didn't. i
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told her, "i'm not done yet. you want a cookie or a brownie?" haha!
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for some fuckers you have to play it sly you know, like they all wanna jew
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you out of a free brownie for some fuckin' reason. so like they'll tell
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me, "you didn't ask me if i want a cookie or a brownie," and then i won't
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even look up.. i'll just hit like the modify order button so it starts all
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over again.. i mean they don't know. and i have to pay for that shit. but
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dude.. this one whore, she says, "you didn't ask me.. bla blkablhblah."
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and i say like usual, "i'm not done yet -- you want a cookie or a brownie?"
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and then like she turns into some fuckin' ho. she says..
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"no."
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and i'm like.. "what?"
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and she says she doesn't want a brownie. so i say..
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"then why the hell did you say anything?"
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and then like, i ask her if she wants anything else. and she says
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no. and then i ask her if she wants a drink. and she says no, and just
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pays for her food and takes off all pissed and shit. that's fucked up, i
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think. dumb whore. then i realize there's this huge fuckin' line pilin'
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up because i can't get the next stupid bastards order right. haha. i'm
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like, "ok... those are, green i guess. what's green? spinach is green."
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and i ring up spinach. then like 'ok... those are yellow........ probably
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corn.' haha.. could be macaroni... just give him a side order of
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macaroni... then like the whole machine goes fuckin awol on me and i can't
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figure out how to fix it. haha...
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there's like 10 customers lookin' at me. so like i say "fuck this
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shit, i dunno how to fix it!" and like i go to tell somebody. so like, i
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go get a drink.. cuz i got cotton-mouth attacking my ass.. i check the
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time, sit down for awhile, then i go to the office and i'm like.. "hey....
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i got a problem." haha. finally i get on a fuckin' break, and what do ya
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know -- it's danny. and i tell your ass to come back at 9. then i like,
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go to the store and i buy a drink, except it's a fountain soda so i drink
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most of it in the store. then i go back to work and this guy workin' next
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to me says like..
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"Matt, do you smoke?"
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and i'm like........................."what??"
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"Matt, do you smoke weed?"
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and i'm like..."what?????"
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"..I'm just sayin' cuz you come in here every day like you're
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glazed."
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"what????????"
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"and.. If you're smoking everyday before work you got a problem."
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then i'm like, fuck you. and a bunch of shit happens and i leave.
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then i go find you and we smoke that bowl and all this shit right here
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happens. haha.
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"yeah man, i like your idea better."
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #534 - WRITTEN BY: LILNILHIL - 3/27/99 ]
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